I Saw Your Heart as It Overtook Me

"Johnny!" I yelled, running down the sidewalk and across the street. "Johnny, wait for me!"

Johnny stopped halfway up his sidewalk and turned around to look at me. Even in the dim light I could see the funny look he was giving me.

"Lauren? Is everything okay?" He asked.

"What? Oh yeah." I grinned, giving him a hug. "But I'm so bored." I whined. "Mattie's shit faced and there's nothing good on the television."

"Oh ... wanna go play some X-box?" He asked.

"Got any new games?"

"Um ... pretty much just Halo 2." He said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and leading me up to the house. "I've been playing the fuck out of that game."

"Oh, well, you ready to get your ass kicked in it?" I smirked.

"Ha, we'll just see about that."

As soon as Johnny unlocked and opened the door I pulled away and pushed him down, making a mad dash for the living room.

"I get the purple controller!" I yelled over my shoulder.

"It's set up in my room!" Johnny yelled back.

"I, what?!" I skidded to a stop in front of the television and saw that his X-box system was indeed missing.

"Haha, sucker!" Johnny shouted, his footsteps echoing through the house as he ran up the stairs.

"Smart ass." I laughed as I made my way back towards the stairs and up to Johnny's room.

************************************************

"You fucking son of a bitch."

Dude, honestly, who the fuck is fighting around at this time of day. I kept my eyes closed and rolled over to my right side, hoping to roll into Matt but remembered I had spent the night at Johnny's because I was way too fucking tired to go back to the house.

"What the fuck where you thinking?!"

"Johnny, turn your fucking television dow-ahhhhhhhhh!!!" I screamed as someone grabbed a hold of my arm, yanking me completely out of the bed.

"Hey. Hey! Let me go!" I yelled, trying to escape from their death grip.

"Shut your fucking mouth Lauren."

I felt my breath get back in my throat as I stopped struggling and looked up to meet Matt's angry stare.

"M-Matt? W-What's going on?" I asked weakly.

"Come on." He snarled, literally dragging me across the floor by my arm.

"Matt, please let go." I said shakily. "Please Matt, you're hurting me; tell me what's going on."

He gave me an ice cold look before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder so he could walk a little easier. At the moment I wanted to kick and scream and do anything I could to get away from Matt, but honestly I was too fucking scared to even move. Matt's never looked at me like that before. I admit, I've seen that sort of anger in his eyes before, but for the first time it was actually directed to me.

Finally we got down the stairs and Matt let me go, shoving me slightly.

"What the fuck made you go and pull that fucking stunt Lauren?" He asked bitterly.

"Matt, what the fuck are you talking about?" I asked, trying to inch away from him, but he caught sight of it and grabbed a firm hold of my upper arm.

"You and Johnny." He said, leaning over so his face was inches from mine.

It was then that I smelt the alcohol on his breath.

"Matt, I can't even spend the night with Johnny without you going psycho about it?" I asked quietly.

"Fuck no." He snapped. "Why the fuck did you just take off like that? You should have at least fucking told me where you were fucking going or left a damn note!"

"Matt, I'm sorry." I said, fighting back tears. "I just came over to play video games and I just fell asleep, okay?"

"No, it's not fucking okay!"

"Matt, I'm sorry." I repeated, feeling one or two tears fall down my face.

I reached up and quickly wiped them away before Matt spotted them. However, I guess I wasn't too discrete about it.

"What? Are you fucking crying now?" Matt asked angrily.

"No." I lied

"What the fuck are you crying about?!" He demanded.

"Because." I sniffed. "You keep fucking yelling at me and I didn't even fucking do anything."

"Gosh, quit being such a baby." He mumbled, wrapping his arm rather harshly around my waist and pulling me in towards him.

I struggled to get out of his grip as his roughly wiped my tears away.

"Damn it Lauren." He said through his teeth. "Hold the fuck still."

"Matt, it hurts though." I cried, pushing him away. "You don't know your own fucking strength and plus you've been drinking."

"Yeah, right, whatever. Let's get back to the house before you start crying around about something else." He said sarcastically.

"Matt, I'm not going anywhere with you. Not when you're being stupid like this." I sniffed.

"What, you think I'm stupid now?"

"When you're like this, yes I do think you're stupid."

I sure did have a lot of balls to be speaking my mind to Matt when he's not himself like is now.

"Yeah, honestly I think you're stupid when you act like you are now." He retorted.
"But wait ... come to think of it you always act like this, so, whatever."

I bit my lip as if that'd be able to stop my tears from falling.

"I don't care anymore, Matt. I just don't even want to be with you right now." I said, shoving my way past him.

I felt the chills run up and down my spine when he grabbed a hold of my arm to stop me.

"Yeah, well, I don't want to be with you at all anymore." He said harshly.

I literally felt my heart hit the ground.

"Y-You don't m-mean that, d-do you?" I asked, choking on my own tears.

"I fucking said it, didn't I?"

Its surprising that I didn't let out a blood curdling scream what with all the pain cursing through my heart just then. I stared up at Matt with the tears flowing in a continuous line down either side of my face.

No ... No way in Hell could he have meant that. I frantically searched for any signs of lie in his eyes ... but there was none.

"I ... Matt ... " I trailed off, erupting into a whole new fit of tears.

"Great." Matt mumbled, throwing his hands up. "Here we go again."

He sighed heavily and mumbled some incoherent words under his breath.

"Lauren? Lauren?!"

I whipped my head in the direction of the stairs, looking towards where Johnny's voice had come from. I opened my mouth to answer him but for some reason it wasn't working.

"She's right here." Matt called back, shoving me a little towards the stairs.

I saw Johnny's legs appear on the stairs, followed shortly by the rest of his upper body, and I finally gained full use of my legs to run over to him.

"Lauren, what-" He stopped short, catching me in his arms.

He instantly began to rub my back for comfort and rock me a little to calm me down.

"Shh, Lauren, what happened? Where'd Matt go? Did you guys get into a fight?"

"H-He's ... " I trailed off, looking back to where Matt was only to find him gone. "J-Johnny, take me to my brothers." I begged, clutching onto him. "Please, get me out of here."

"Alright sweetheart." He whispered, picking me up.

"We're going."

Johnny soon had me settled in the passenger seat of the car as me drove along to my brother's house. I don't remember too much of the ride over to Zacky's house, but I do remember sitting there the whole time thinking about how much it hurt like a motherfucker to hear those words come out of Matt's mouth.

As soon as we pulled to a stop in Zacky and Amber's driveway my brother came flying out of the house towards the car.

"Lauren?! Oh God, sister, what's wrong?" He asked, flinging open my door and wrapping his arms around me.

I couldn't answer him.

"Johnny, what the fuck happened? Where's Matt?" Zacky demanded.

"Dude, Lauren spent the night at the house and then this morning Matt came over and flipped out on me and dragged Lauren downstairs. I heard him yelling at her and by the time I made it down there he was gone." Johnny said quietly. "I ... she asked me to bring her over here."

"Fuck, was he drinking?" Zacky asked angrily.

"I-I don't know." Johnny said shakily.

"That fucking son of a bitch." Zacky muttered to himself. "Lauren, look at me." He said, pulling away a little. "Sister, did he hurt you in anyway?" He asked, brushing some hair out of my face so he could examine it.

I shook my head frantically as I clung onto him.

"Z-Zacky, I've never s-seen him like t-t-that before." I cried.

"Shh, it's okay, we'll go back later to talk to him, okay?" He cooed, picking me up.

"No." I sobbed. "I c-c-can't go back there."

"Why not?" He asked softly.

"B-Because ... he said he don't w-w-want to b-be with me a-anymore."

I felt Zacky stop dead in his tracks and his breath got caught in his throat.

"Amber, come here." He suddenly as he set me back on my feet and pulled away from me. "Lauren, go inside with Amber, alright?"

"B-But, where are you going?"

"I'll be back." Zacky said, stepping away from me. "Don't worry about where I'm going."

I felt Amber grab a hold of my hand as I watched Zacky make his way over to his car.

"Johnny, stay with Amber and Lauren." He commanded was he climbed in behind the wheel.

Zacky glanced at me one last time before he started the engine up and backed down the driveway.

"Come on, hun." Amber said softly. "Let's go get you cleaned up."

As I let Amber and Johnny steer me towards the house, I heard my heart shattering into a million pieces inside my chest. Oh Lord, how I wished that by tonight I'll be back in Matt's arms. However, I knew all too well that my wishes were never granted.