I Saw Your Heart as It Overtook Me

I clung tightly onto Matt, trying my hardest to blink back the tears as we stood outside in the cold Huntington morning. The thought of having Matt leave me cause me to tighten my arms around his middle and bury my face in his chest. Matt, in turn, began to rock me gently in his arms, whispering sweet words of comfort into my ear.

Some would actually be somewhat soothed by these actions but in my case, it only made me feel even more crappy. Finally, after several minutes of holding them back, I let the tears fall freely down either side of my face.

"Oh, no Lauren." Matt said gently. "Baby please don't cry. You'll be able to join us in a month, It'll go by so fast you would even have noticed."

"But Matt." I cried. "I just got you back and you're leaving on tour already. I don't want you to leave me here."

"Sweetheart, I don't want to leave you here either." He said, his voice cracking slightly. "But like I said, in four weeks you'll be able to fly over and be with us."

"Mattie, I'm going to miss you though." I sniffed.

"Shh, I know sweetie, I know. I'm going to miss you so fucking much too."

I took a deep breath and held it, trying to calm myself down a little. When I felt like I'd be able to breathe without sobbing like a little sissy, I exhaled slowly and closed my eyes, letting the sound of Matt's heartbeat relax me even more.

"Mattie?" I asked quietly.

"What is it, sweetie?"

"Call me every damn day, you hear me?"

"I'll call you twice a day."

"Baby, four weeks it too long." I mumbled.

"I'm sorry Lauren." He sighed, running his fingers through my hair. "I wish you could come with us right now but the label won't have it."

"Fucking pricks." I added, causing Matt to laugh a little.

"Yo, you two better hurry up before we miss our flight." Someone called from somewhere near the guys' van that was taking them to the LAX.

"I wouldn't mind if you guys missed your flight." I said.

"I know you wouldn't." Matt said with a hint of laughter in his voice.

He tightened his arms around me and sighed heavily before he let me go. He grabbed my chin lightly between his thumb and index finger making me look up at him. He slowly leaned in towards me and I stood up on my tiptoes to meet him halfway. It was a simple closed mouthed kiss and after about five seconds Matt pulled away.

"I love you Lauren." He whispered.

"I know." I whispered back. "I love you too Matt."

"Four weeks babe. In four weeks you and the rest of the girls are gonna be able to join us in Europe, okay?"

"I guess." I sighed. "for now I'll just day dream about our awesome night we had last night."

Matt let a mischievous smile spread across his lips and he nodded his head, giving me a little wink. He wrapped his arms around me one last time and quickly planted a kiss on my cheek before he pulled away from me altogether. He picked his duffle bag up and slung it over his shoulder, giving me a soft smile.

"I love you baby. See you in a few weeks." He said quietly, taking hold of my hand and giving it a quick squeeze.

"I love you too, Matt." I replied, feeling a couple more tears fall down.

"Matt, damn it, hurry up."

Matt frowned a little in annoyance before he leaned over and quickly kissed my lips. He gave my hand one last squeeze before he let it go and turned around, walking quickly towards the van.

I let my eyes follow him up until he disappeared into the back seat of the van. I saw my brother sitting in the middle seat and he caught my eyes. He waved and blew me a kiss before he shut the door. I stood there, tears falling freely down my face as I watched they drive away.

"Lauren, why don't you come inside, hun." Amber called from behind me.

I reached up and wiped my face off before I turned around and spotted her standing on the porch.

"Come on, it's cold out here and you're still in your damn pajama's; I don't want you to be catching a cold now." She added, motioning for me to go join her.

I let out a long, miserable sigh and started towards me, dragging my feet in the process. I trudged along the sidewalk and up the stairs, coming to a stop in front of Amber.

"Like Matt said, four weeks isn't that long." She said gently, giving me an apologetic smile as she reached over and wiped the excess tears off of my face. "We'll be other there in Europe before you know it."

She placed an arm around my shoulders and gently steered me back into the house, which seemed extremely hot due to the fact I had been standing outside in a pair of pj shorts and a cami top.

"Why don't you go upstairs and get yourself cleaned up, Lauren." Amber said as she shut the door behind us. "Then when you get done we can go and bug Lissa at the shop, aight?"

"Okay." I sighed and slowly made my way up the stairs while Amber went off to take care of Miss Lovella.

It's been so long since the last time Matt had left for tour without me that I forgot how much it sucked to say goodbye.

Matt and I have been back together for a little over a month now, but it seems like we never really got to spend too much time together because he was always off doing an interview at one place, or doing a photo shoot at another. The only time we actually got to spend with each other had been at night when we were getting ready for bed. Of course we spent most of the night making up for our 'lost time' but we still didn't get too much time to actually sit down and talk like we usually would.

We never got a chance to talk about our wedding, we never got a chance to set a date, pick a location, anything. We never got a chance to bad mouth my brother like we usually do. Never got a chance to dance around in our room, listening to Def Leppard, Foreigner, and Journey before we'd go out for lunch somewhere.

There were a lot of things we didn't do anymore, but like I said, not because we didn't want to but rather because we didn't have time for it during the past month. During the summer the guys have gotten big and all they hard work is finally starting to pay off. It's fucking great that they've been getting all the exposure, but all this exposure means the guys are going to be gone a lot more.

And if their label was going to continue being a bunch of uptight little bitches, it looks like me, Amber, Lissa, Shawna, Alyssa, and little Miss Lovella are going to be stuck at home while the guys were off touring the country. Luckily the label said for this tour we'd be able to join them for the second half of the tour.

In four weeks I'd be able to be back with Matt, reunited overseas in Europe. No question about it, things were going to be crazy as soon as we got over there, touring with the guys is always crazy. However, little did I know that after this tour, my life would never be the same again.

- || FF Four Weeks || -
I fiddled around with the zipper on the front of my jacket while I looked out the window, waiting impatiently for our plane to be taxied into our appropriate gate. I heard Shawna mumbling some incoherent words underneath her breath beside me and I tore my eyes from the window to see her tossing and turning in her seat, still fast asleep.

I reached over and poked her in the side, trying to keep a little bit of a distance between us just in case she was one of those who didn't like to be woken up. She frowned a little bit in her sleep and didn't take a wild swing at me so I decided to jab her once again in the side.

"Damn it, knock it o ... " She trailed off, turning to her other side so she was no longer facing me.

"Shawna, wake up." I said, poking her one last time.

"Dude, quit fucking poking me you damn moldy douche bag!" She yelled, turning back towards me to give me her evil eye, as well as gaining the attention of everybody else sitting in first class with us.

"I-I, we're here." I said sheepishly, feeling my cheeks flush a little bit.

"Oh, why didn't you say so, hun?" She asked, straightening herself up and gathering her magazines.

I sat back and returned my gaze to the window, watching the action taking place outside as our plane finally came to a stop. The pilot's voice had come on once again through the overhead speakers, telling us where we would be able to pick up our luggage and what not. Soon everybody was bustling about, gathering up their carry-on bags, grabbing their laptop cases, and in Amber's case, carefully unbuckling Miss Lovella's carrier from the seat.

About fifteen minutes later we were all standing in the baggage claim area, standing around the little carousel, waiting for our luggage to turn up on the conveyer belt.

"Lauren?" I heard somebody call from behind us.

I turned around and searched through the crowd, looking for one of the guys.

"Lauren?" I heard somebody call again.

Finally, out of the crowd a guy looking about my age stepped forward and started to walk towards me.

"Lauren Baker?" He asked, coming to a stop a few feet away from me.

"Yeah?" I asked slowly.

"Oh, it is you." He smiled. "I was directed to pick you and the girls up and take you to the venue."

"Oh ... okay." I said, not really knowing what else to say.

The man ran off to get us a little trolley for our entire luggage and he helped load them up before he led us through the crowd and outside into the slightly cold afternoon. About a minute later, after walking through a rather busy parking lot, he came to a stop beside a black limo and he pulled out a set of keys, unlocking the trunk.

"Wow, the guys sent a limo for us, nice." Lissa said with a little hint of amusement in her voice.

Before the man started to load our luggage into the trunk, he went around to the side of the limo and unlocked the back door for us so we could climb inside. Alyssa was the first one to make a move to climb inside and as soon as she peaked her head through the doorway she let out a little squeal and disappeared inside almost instantly.

"What the ... " I trailed off, looking inside after her only to come face to face with Matt who was grinning like a mad man.

"Holy shit." I grinned, literally jumping inside and into his outstretched arms.

"Surprise." He laughed, pulling me onto his lap and hugging me tightly.

"Mattie, I missed you." I said, burying my face in his chest.

"I know sweetheart, I've missed you too." He said softly. "Very fucking much."

"You guys are a bunch of punks." Amber huffed from her spot near the doorway. "Couldn't even come inside and greet us."

"I'm sorry, babe." Zacky blushed. "We tried to go in there but as soon as we stepped foot in there we were mobbed by fans ... so we ran back out here and sent our driver in to get you guys."

"You guys got mobbed?" I asked.

Matt nodded his head.

"Believe it or not, babe. That shit was crazy." He said.

"Oh ... well, I've never been mobbed before so I'll take your word for it." I said before I reached up to press my lips softly to his.

Oh goodness, how I missed this.

**********************************************

Matt held my hair back for me while I kneeled down in front of the toilet, puking what felt like my very guts out. I grabbed some toilet paper and wiped my mouth before I threw the paper into the toilet and flushed it. Matt put his hands on my waist and pulled me to my feet with ease. I went over to the sink, washed my mouth out, and rinsed my hands before I turned around to face Matt.

He instinctively wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him so that my head was resting against his chest. He began to rock me gently and rub my back for comfort while I closed my eyes and began to cry softly to myself.

"Shh, baby." He cooed.

"Mattie, I feel so ... icky though. I feel like I'm going to throw up if I even look at or even smell food again." I whined.

"I know, I'm sorry babe. It's just a little stomach virus though; it should be gone by tomorrow." He said softly.

Soon there was a soft knock on the bathroom door and Matt adjusted me in his arms a little so he could reach over and unlock the door.

"Sister, how are you feeling?" Zacky asked, gently pulling me out of Matt's grasp and into his own arms.

"I feel like I'm going to puke my guts out but that's not possible because I just did." I mumbled.

"Maybe we should take you into the hospital." Zacky said slowly.

"Mattie said it's just a stomach virus though." I said quietly.

"I just wanna make sure it's not like food poisoning though."

"Food poisoning?" I asked, a hint of nervousness in my voice. [lol, at first I wrote 'foot poisoning']

"Zacky, don't be scaring her like that." Matt scolded.

"Hey, it might be." Zacky retorted. "Remember we thought JB just had a stomach virus and it turned out to be food poisoning."

"Guys, quit yelling, I have a headache." I muttered.

Zacky let out a little sigh, as did Matt and Zacky wrapped his arms around my waist, picking me up.

"I'm taking you down to the doctors." He said, stepping out into the hallway.

"Wait, no, I don't want to go to the doctor, I feel better now." I whined.

"Gosh, quit acting like a little kid." Zacky said. "Food poisoning is pretty dang serious. I'd rather be safe than sorry."

"But you guys have sound check right now."

"I think I can afford to miss one sound check." Zacky said, opening a door and stepping outside so that we were now along the backside of the venue they were going to be playing at tonight.

"But brother-"

"Gosh, Lauren, are you afraid of the doctors now or something?" Zacky asked impatiently as he set me down to flag down a taxi.

The truth was I was scared of going to the doctors because it seems like every time I did, nothing good every came of it.

**********************************************

About four hours later Zacky was leading me back into the venue, neither one of us saying a word because our minds were current preoccupied with the words the doctor had said. For about five minutes we wandered throughout the building, looking for the gang before we finally heard them in a room back behind the stage.

Standing just outside the door, Zacky slowed to a stop and turned around wrapping his arms tightly around me.

"Lauren, tell Matt now, okay? Don't wait." He whispered.

I nodded my head and he kissed my forehead softly before he pulled away and opened the door to the room.

"Hey, finally." Matt said, jumping to his feet and rushing over to us. "What's the verdict?"

I looked around the room and found that all eyes were now on me and I quickly looked down to the ground, studying Matt's shoes.

"Lauren?" He asked, gently taking my hand in his.

"Matt, I gotta talk to you." I said quietly.

"Oh ... okay." He said softly, letting me pull him back out into the hallway.

I wanted to have a little distance between us and the gang so I continued to lead him down the hallway until we found our way out onto the stage. I led Matt over to the very edge of the stage and sat down so that my legs were dangling over the side. I motioned for Matt to take a seat next to me so he did.

"Lauren?" Matt asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "Tell me what's going on."

I took a deep breath let it out before I looked up at Matt.

"Um ... At the doctors they told me something that was pretty ... unbelievable." I started.

" ... And? What did they say? Is something wrong?" He asked hurriedly, his eyes full of anxiety.

"No, no, nothing wrong." I said.

"What is it then?"

"Matt ... I'm, uh ... pregnant."