Thirty Times

Debby (sistabruh),

I guess you could say that you're my best friend. I guess you could say that nobody compares to you and nobody will. I guess you could say that you've got one hell of a brilliant mind, heart and soul.

But I won't. I won't because I'm just that shy, so shy I can't even tell my own sister that I love her. And I do, you know that, even though sometimes it feels like I hate you and can't stand your guts. Well here I am, right now, writing this letter telling you how much you mean to me. And there you are, maybe reading this, thinking Wow, she never said that to me. Does she really mean it? Yes, I really mean it. I mean every word that I say. You know that.

Since we were itty bitty kiddies, we were great friends (although there were the occasional exceptions, and sometimes there still are). You stuck up for me, and you still do. Even when the situation became suicidal, you stuck up for me. Why did you do that? I don't get it, and maybe I never will. You are a great sister, and I'm not lying.

Love,
Me

*****

Meg,

You're one of my heroes. Well, maybe my only hero since I don't go searching for people to look up to. And the weird thing about this is, I didn't search for you. We were meant to be cousins and I'm so glad. I don't think you understand how glad I am to have a cousin like you. You got me out of dying, out of smoking, out of seriously losing my mind (well, you did the best you could on that one), out of all the bad things I went through. You got me out of a lot of them.

Everyone wants me to take the easy road in life, but what if I don't want to? I've been through some tough stuff, that's for sure, but I don't want my hand held through everything. I'm so happy to know that you understand those unsaid guidelines and you go with them. Casually, you have fun with me. Seriously, you have deep conversations with me. Energies of all sorts come whizzing beside me when I'm with you. It's positively amazing.

There's nobody else, not even Angela or Katie, who will be the one I can talk to about everything. Sure, I tell them stuff but they don't get me as well as you do. And sure, they accept me and all but do they have serious talks with me about everything I do? Everything I'm going through? Not like you do.

You are one of my best friends, and I'm forever grateful that you are my cousin. Family's there forever, right? I'm there for you, you're there for me, and we both know it.

I love you with all my heart!

Love,
Me

*****

Tom,

Yep, you're five years old, but you're my brother and I think you deserve a letter too. You are crazy weird, kid. I'm not going to lie on that one. Sometimes you disgust me, and sometimes you freak me out and sometimes you annoy the crap out of me. But I love you. I know you're going to grow up like the rest of us, but with greater strength. You already have amazing talents and you're only five years old, man! People are going to love you from all over the world, even if it seems like the world has died at your feet. And trust me, brother, it's going to feel that way a lot.

I wish you the best of luck in your life. I love you.

Love,
Me