Fallin' Apart

Gavin took a swig of his drink he had prepared for himself only moments before, swallowing the contents enjoying the small feeling of the sting the shot of vodka left him. It meant that was alive at the very least.

To Gavin, the shot hadn’t proved anything other than him still being alive even though the feeling of being dead hadn’t left him. To Gavin, being dead was better than being alive at the moment. To Gavin, he didn’t have a heart since he was so willing to give it away to her and only her.

“Annabelle,” he murmured at the phone in his hand wishing, hoping, and dreaming that his Annabelle would answer the phone so he could hear her voice that he swore belonged to an angel. He believed with his whole heart that his dear love was an angel sent to him for him to love.

Loving Anna was like breathing air to Gavin. Nothing seemed easier when he was with her. That’s if you forgot about their petty fights. They loved to test each other, but Annabelle always won and it ended in hot, passionate sex. Gavin had enjoyed that part very much, but he also enjoyed being drunk with the love he still held for her.

Her voicemail answered after the last ring. “It’s Annabelle Brooke. You know what to do at the beep and if you don’t then leave me your name, number, and I will get back to you as soon as I can.” The voicemail ended with a small giggle that Gavin loved before the beep.

“Annabelle, I know you may be busy but I wanted to say hi. See how things were doing…” Gavin paused not sure what else to say. There wasn’t much else to say. He could repeat how much he loved her again and that he would wait for her call but he had already left her two other love sick voicemails. What was he to do?

Gavin chuckled into the phone knowing he was going to sound like a real ass on the recording and tried to play it off as though it was cool to randomly chuckle on the phone, “well, give me a call back or something. I was hoping to see you again…” he paused searching for the right words to end the message, “before you have gone. Bye. Love you.”

With a snap the phone was shut and tossed it onto the couch, landing safely on the cushion. He was an idiot for leaving her messages like that and he knew it. Shaking his head he grabbed his keys and decided to take a stroll through the park, hoping to find her where he first found his dear Annabelle.

Gavin hadn’t locked the front door, even though he had grabbed his keys before leaving, thinking that if he was gone and Anna had come to his house he didn’t want to leave the door locked in case she wanted to go ahead inside the house.

He had indeed given her the only spare key to his home but for some reason she had left it with him after their last talk. Not liking the words coming from her mouth he had hoped that she had given him the keys to prove a point, not to leave him like she had said.

Annabelle apparently had enough of him. She said that she was leaving for good and that they were through, for good. Gavin was crushed at her news and begged her why she was leaving him so suddenly, desperate to salvage what was left between them. He loved her and she was just throwing it away like it was trash.

For hours that night he offered up all he had to give her and said that he would find a way to give her more than he had just for her to stay with him. He knew that it was drastic but she was his love and he wanted her and loved her even if she was killing him.

Gavin had sent Anna roses the next day as an apology and a hopeful reminder to forget what had happened the night before—only to find them on his porch later on that night when he returned from work. As he picked up the smashed roses he felt his heart being smashed into pieces along with the roses on his doorstep.

A sigh escaped Gavin’s mouth as he art on the swing that he first met Anna, searching internally for his heart and for the pieces that were lost and broken for what seemed like forever. He looked up at the sky and guessed that he and Annabelle were just falling apart.

“Annabelle,” he mumbled her name calling for her, knowing that she didn’t have to ask for his heart, for she already had it.

Above Gavin, a plane flew by.