Weapon of Choice

"Ah!" I winced as I pricked my finger with the needle.

"You'd think after a few years you'd be used to this," the Joker eyed me as I put my finger to my mouth.

"I can still make a few slip ups," I quickly tied a knot in the shirt, "It seems I get one shirt done and another piece of clothing has a tare or another hole in it. What do you do out there?"

"Blow things up, get into fights, steal cars, the usual."

I promptly rolled my eyes and gave him the finished shirt, "Why do you even need me?"

"My clothes can't be tracked if I have you to make them all, and none of us know how to cook," he looked over at all his henchmen.

"How does that not surprise me?" I sighed Bunch of mindless thugs., "So what are the plans for today?" I stood and went over to the rusty kitchen taking the hint at food.

"Just going to rob a bank and mess with a local gang."

"Ah, fun times," I opened the fridge to find nothing but some fish, "Great, I need to go shopping again. Is fish ok with you?"

"I'll eat anything right now."

I nodded turning on the oven and thawing the fish in the microwave, "Today seems like a good day to go around town," I took a side look at the Joker.

"It's ok I guess," he fidgeted and looked around the room.

Ugh, small talk, weirdest thing when you have a mad man to talk to. I placed the fish on the skillet, "Ok, I'm gonna go put on some respectable clothes, can I trust you to watch the fish?"

"Yea yea, what's so bad about what you're wearing now?"

I looked down at my faded sweat pants and old shirt which was too big, "You've got to be kidding me. Do you not see this?" I gestured to my torso and legs.

"Yes?"

"Wow, on that note I'm changing." I walked into my room greeted by the white walls and lumpy mattress on the ground How I long for a steady life with a house. I slipped into a pair of jeans and a light blue T-shirt. As I was looking myself over in a mirror I smelled something burning, "Are you serious!?" I ran to the kitchen seeing the fish on the counter (uncooked) and a man running around with a burn across his face, "What happened?"

The Joker was doing that high pitched cackle, "He tried to eat the fish, so I showed him it wasn't done!"

I sighed, "I'm going to the market," I waved and grabbed my purse. I wasn't as astonished by the way he treated his henchmen anymore. After three years it was the norm to me. I stepped into one of the cars he had stolen, a black '69 Chevy Camaro with white racing stripes that I simply loved. I knew it would get me noticed, but then again I wasn't a criminal or reckless driver like some people.

The drive to the outside world was slow and uneventful, a breath of fresh air. As I pulled in, a man eyed the car, no doubt to steal it. Another plus to this car was that the Joker had installed a kind of security system. Gotta love the perks of having a mad man as your boss.

I took my things and made my way to the market. I looked in my wallet to see a few hundred dollars Enough to feed a bunch of hungry men I guess. I made my usual rounds buying the necessary meat the men always munched on. One day they are going to die from malnourishment. Carnivores are lower on the food chain than omnivores for a reason.

I picked through the different vegetables when I heard someone, "Maya!?" a familiar voice shouted my name.

I turned around, "Lisa!" I ran up and hugged the old friend, "Is the baby alright?"

"Yes, the baby is fine, but how did you know? I haven't seen you in a few years."

"The paper, it had an article in it about you," I lied. The Joker had his ways of tracking people, which I took advantage of sometimes. Seeing what old friends were up to kept me in touch with my old life.

"Of course, that's what you get for being married to a rich man," she giggled, flaunting the gigantic ring on her finger, "You know that we made over 3 million last year?"

"Wow, you're married to Fredrick Jennings right?"

"Yes, he was working under Bruce Wayne for a while until he went off on his own and made a fortune."

Ah yes, Fredrick Jennings. He broke away from Wayne Enterprises and blackmailed some of the governors. Now he owns a business and collects a hefty salary from them. Interesting crime to say the least. "So have you decided a name for the baby?"

"Fred and I were thinking of Narvel or Fred Jr."

I faked a smile, "What names to pick."

"I know they're interesting. It's always been modern or ancient for us," she patted her pudgy stomach. Being seven months along, she had already suffered from problems. The child would be weak for a while, but surly grow into a strong man one day. "So how is your father?"

"Oh...he committed suicide a while ago," I said slowly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! When did this happen?"

"A few months after graduation."

"Really?" she seemed shocked, "But I thought you went to college. You were so smart!"

"Plans always change Lisa," I looked down at my watch, "I have to run, my...brothers will get agitated if I'm gone too long."

"You have brothers?"

"Goodbye Lisa," I walked away waving at her. That could have turned out badly if I stayed much longer. I looked down at what I had bought. Some meat, vegetables, fruits, bread. Hopefully they'll eat the healthy stuff. I shook my head and walked through the electric doors.

I gazed at my car. The man I had seen before was tinkering away at the locks. I sighed and pressed the panic button. No alarm sounded, this didn't worry me though, the alarm never sounded. Instead a small rod appeared at the base of the driver's door. BANG! Screams followed, "Th-the car shot me in the leg!"

"You shouldn't have messed with my car," I walked up to the driver's door and shoved away his crumpled body with my leg, "You never know what is going to happen when you do things like that."

"You bitch! You're not even gonna help me?"

"Why should I? You tried to steal my car," I got in and started the engine, "Why should I help you when you never cared about me?" With that I drove off, seeing the man's body tighten into a fetal position. No one stopped. In Gotham, no one ever does.