Weapon of Choice

I drove home, the recent conversation with Lisa had brought up bad memories. It was me my father tried to harm, not him. I mulled over the memories, that fateful night coming back to life in my mind.

"Daddy! I got accepted to Gotham University!" I ran around the corner, into the living room, showing him the acceptance letter.

"Oh Honey, why do you need a college education? You'll be away from home and I will be lonely."

"But Dad, you need to start dating again, and that'll be hard with me around. Besides, Mom didn't want you to stay single for the rest of your life."

"I know, but you don't have to leave me. I'm happy just as I am."

"Dad," I sat down beside him on the couch, "Don't you want your daughter to become something one day? Don't you want me to be happy?"

"Yes, and I see you being happy here," he grabbed the letter and tore it, "Now do me a favor and cook dinner."

I was taken aback by what he had done, "Yes sir..." Maybe he'd change his mind over night

Over the next month I made contact with the university. Sure Dad didn't want me to leave, but I was legally an adult now. He couldn't control what I did anymore.

"Yes," I mumbled into the phone, "Thankyou for the financial help. I really need it."

As the woman talked on the other side of the phone, my father heard the conversation through my slightly opened door.

A day passed and I felt that I would get my way. I would move out and achieve my dream. I was wrong. My father showed up drunk after work that night. He stumbled through the door and into his normal place on the couch.

"Dad?" I walked in, "Dad, why are you drunk?"

"You think you'll leave me? My baby girl leave me?" he laughed taking a swig of his almost empty bottle of gin, "My little girl is never gonna leave me."

"Dad, what are you talking about?"

"Don't lie to me! I heard you on the phone! Sneaking behind my back and planning these things. When I was your age, I'd get beaten!" he raised his fist and looked at it, "In fact," he thrust his fist right at my face, knocking me to the ground.

I lost my breath. Not being able to talk I crawled away. I gasped, "D-Dad! What are you doing?"

"Teaching you a lesson on respect." With that the beating began. My face was bloodied and bruised, my bones ached so much I could not walk, and my sight...had gone blurry from all the tears I cried. My father grabbed my hair and threw me into the street. A few people passing looked at me and then turned away. Nothing worth getting into.

My father's brief absence gave me time to curl up into a ball. He came back with a saw, "I'll make it so you can't leave me!" he gripped my foot and stretched out my leg, "This will only hurt for a minute."

The saw cut into my leg, I screamed. This fazed no one, save one person. He was hiding in the shadows. He looked at me and felt his scars.

"I still have no idea why he saved me that night..." I said pulling into the hideout. I stepped out, "I need help!" no one came, "No help, no food!" some of the henchmen came out, "Oh you guys are so kind," I said sarcastically.

The groceries were brought in and set on the counters, it was up to me to put everything away. It used to get me down, but it hit me one day that it meant I was more permanent than a lot of guys here. Keeping the place meant that I was needed.

As I put things away the Joker burst through the door. His expression was angry. The question of 'Why?' played at my lips, but I knew better than to say anything. I resumed my job of putting away the groceries, but the Joker pushed me aside, "I'll put them away."

"Why?" The question slipped out.

"Because The Batman messed up my plans. I'll show you!" he shouted into the air, "I can put away things better than you!"

I eased my hand onto his shoulder, "I think you should sit...maybe drink some tea," he fidgeted, "Maybe something stronger...?"

"No, no, no," he started to giggle, "I will fix you tea. Sit!"

I sat down on a stool. He always got a little madder when aggravated, which meant obey unless you want to die.

He set the kettle on the stove top, "W-would you like one lump or two?"

"One?"

He took the salt shaker and poured it into the empty kettle, "Want tea..." he started to mumble.

I stood. I have no idea what came over me, but i walked in front of him and took his face into my hands, "Batman will not out wit you," I stared into his eyes, they were bottomless to the point where I became wary of what I was doing. My hands flew off his face and I stepped back, "Forgive me...I-"

"No, you my dear have given me an idea," he licked his lips.

"An idea?"

"Yes, this time I will take a different approach to taking down The Batman. First, we need to get you known in society. Then we need to get you on Batman's radar, and..." he trailed off mumbling the rest of the forming plan.

"What is going on?"

"We, my dear, are going to make The Batman love you."

"What!?" my brain felt like it had burnt a fuse, "I don't think Batman is capable of love..."

"Every man is capable of love...well at least lust."

"What the...I am NOT sleeping with Batman!"

He began to do that cackle of his again, "We won't let it go that far. This is going to work!"

Too much information was hitting my ears at once Batman love me? This plan is going to fail. Why? Because I'm not exactly a catch. That beating had me lose some teeth and my face wasn't what it used to be...not that it was much before.

"This plan is perfect," he licked his lips again.

"I don't mean to burst your bubble but I'm not exactly beautiful. Quite plain actually."

The Joker began his laugh, "If you're worried about your face I can fix that! I know some excellent dentists who would volunteer to replace and clean your teeth."

I mentally rolled my eyes, imagining how the whole thing would go down. A gun against the dentists head while he worked on my teeth. The Joker almost mockingly giving the dentist pointers as the poor man worked on my teeth.

"What about my face in general? The whole stunner part got shot to hell a few years back," I crossed my arms over my chest.

He stepped up to me and grabbed my chin with his thumb and forefinger, "It's all in your head," he tapped a finger on his temple and spun around, "Now tomorrow we go to the dentist, and then shopping!"

Those last words made me have to sit down Did he really just say that?