Weapon of Choice

"Wait...what?!"

"The baby is coming!" she said through gritted teeth.

"Might I suggest to keep breathing?" I heard in the background.

"Alfred, your job is to drive! Not tell me how to breathe! Now drive!"

Oh my...I hope Alfred still has his head attached when I see him. "I'm on my way to the hospital," I stood up so quickly I almost fell over.

"Whoa," the Joker caught me.

"Thanks," I put my ear back to the phone, "I'm on my way!" I closed the phone, "Lisa's having her baby."

"Yeah, I heard through the shouting on the phone."

"Would you hate me if I left?"

"No, it'll keep your cover."

"Thank you," I smiled and gave him a kiss on the lips, "This means a lot to me," I ran out the door to the car and broke every speeding law there was. A policeman stopped me on the way, but quickly gave me an escort to the hospital when he realized who I was and why I was speeding.

I almost ran into the electric doors of the hospital because they didn't open fast enough, "What room is Lisa Jennings in?" I huffed out at the front desk.

"Room 536."

"Thanks," I flew to the nearest elevator where a wandering paparazzi took my picture running through the hospital. I was too distracted to care and the elevator moved too slow that I had to keep saying to myself It's faster than taking the stairs...

After what seemed like forever, the elevator doors finally opened and I sprinted to her room. I saw Lisa breathing, as was instructed in her Lamaze class, and Alfred seated in the chair beside her bed, "Lisa, I'm here!"

"Good," she smiled at me as happy as ever.

"They have you on drugs don't they?"

"How'd you guess?"

"It's quiet and calm," I took a seat on the other side of her bed, "Any complications?"

"Nope, the doctor said I'm dilated 7cm and all we have to do is wait."

"Good. You've had trouble in the past so this is a breath of fresh air."

"Stop worrying Maya. The trouble was caused by others. I think I will be fine now that I have nothing holding me back."

"Just being wary of things that may happen," I shrugged.

"Oh, Maya," Alfred called, "I brought this in case you wanted to do some light reading," he held up the book.

"Alfred how did you know? I started reading this last night," I reached over the bed and took the book, "Thanks. Have you read this?"

"Yes, its quite a read if I say so myself."

I had just opened the book when my stomach growled I forgot...I only had some bread as I flew out the door at the warehouse... "What time is it?"

"1:18pm." Alfred said.

"Oh, where's a vending machine?"

"Down the hall, but I think you should have something in the cafeteria," he thought on what he just said, "On second thought, let's order out." He took out a phonebook from the bedside table, "Hmmm, there isn't anything healthy, what would you like to eat?"

"Chinese sounds amazing right now."

He chuckled, "Alright, I shall return soon," he gathered his coat and hat.

"You're leaving?"

"Yes, the surest way to get fresh food is to actually be there when they prepare it."

"I guess you're right...I'll see you soon Alfred."

"As will I," he smiled and patted me on the shoulder.

After he closed the door, I leaned over to Lisa, "Bruce is so lucky to have him!"

"Tell me about it. He's the best butler I've seen," she giggled. A few minutes had passed, "You think I can take care of this baby?"

"Of course! You have a mother's attitude and enough money to keep you ahead of the game for a while."

"I know I'll be good in that area, but I'm just scared that he will hate me."

I started laughing.

"Why are you laughing? I'm being serious!"

"Lisa, you'll be a good Mom. I mean sure when he's a teenager he will go through that rebellious phase, but he will love you. You won't give him reason to take you for granted by ignoring him, and you won't treat him abusively. You're his Mom for crying out loud."

"Yes but..."

"No buts! Now cherish these moments of silence before you're woken up at 3:00am by his crying," I grabbed her hand to give her comfort.

"Thanks Maya, you really are a saving grace."

"You should know that I..." grabbing her hand was a bad idea. At that moment, I experienced a crushing pain, "Oww! What was that for Lisa!?"

"Con-trac-tion," she said between breaths.

"Oh...can you let go of my hand?" my eye twitched.

"In a minute! They're getting worse and more frequent so just bare with me!"

The drugs are waring off.. "Just breathe."

Soon she let go of my hand and all was normal again, and I began to read the book:

Today he stands ready, physically and mentally. Those who are weak and defenseless will no longer be afraid. He may not be able to save the life he had before, but he can become something new. More than human but less than a god. A masked savior... I turned the page, "What?"

"Something wrong?"

"Yeah, who writes a book halfway through and just stops?" I flipped through the pages showing they were all blank.

"Did the author die?"

"Doesn't say anything about it. You know, I really thought that was going to be about Batman for a second."

"How?"

"Read the last paragraph."

She scanned the page, "Wow, that's just weird. When was it written?" she looked at the front pages, "No date or year."

"Guess it's something gotten from a thrift book store?"

"I guess. How does the book start out?"

"He's traveling the world and learning different fighting styles."

"Hmmm, interesting," she put the book on the bedside table.

************************************************

Thirty minutes passed and I was beginning to wonder if Alfred was doing more than getting Chinese food. A doctor came in a checked her status on dilation, "Pretty soon you will be delivering...I'd give it two or three hours."

"Three more hours of this?" Lisa looked like she was about to his the doctor, "I think not! This baby wants out!"

"I think you need to calm down and we'll get you some more medication for pain."

"No!" she started pushing.

"Push all you want, the baby won't come out until....Oh my God!" he ran out into the hall, "We have to get the woman to the birthing center immediately!" Nurses flooded the room and rolled her away, "Are you coming? She wants you in the room when the baby is born."

"Uh, yes!" I ran after the nurses.

Before I knew it, I was being scrubbed up and ready to be in the delivery room, "Are you sure I should be in here?"

"Ahhhh! Maya hold my hand!!!!" Lisa shouted.

I leaned over to the nurse, "Do I have to? She almost broke it last time."

She nodded, "If you don't she'll hold it against you later."

I came to the side of the bed and held her hand, "I'm right beside you."

"No shit Sherlock! Get this baby the fuck out of me!"

I was shocked, Lisa wasn't one to usually curse.

"The head's coming out. Just keep pushing," the doctor said. She pushed and yelled for another hour, "Head's out! Now the shoulders."

In this time my hand had gone completely numb How do people film these things? It's the worst side of the Mom and everyone else is running around like mad!

"One more push!" the doctor commanded. The scream that followed was blood curdling, "Beautiful! Congratulations, you have given birth to a boy," he held up the baby. Lisa was laughing and had tears in her eyes.

I have no idea if it was the lack of food, numbness in my arm, or shock. I took one look at the baby and my eyes rolled up and I fell backwards into darkness.

The whole room stopped, "Maya?"