Take This To Heart

I came to with a light being shined in my eyes. I tried to blink away the fingers that were holding my eyelid open, but it took me two trys. "…No signs of a concussion when he fell. …Probably just shock. You said it was his sister?" I didn't know the voice. I had no clue. But the next one was Alex's.

"Sort of. More like he's an overprotective Dad…and she's just there."

The other guy chuckled. "Very protective I see. Maybe he needs to try that tactic with himself."

"I'm not crazy." I murmured, pushing myself off the hospital-like table. I stretched, but grimaced when a sharp pain shot through my left wrist. I whimpered and cradled it in my arm.

"I'm afraid it's fractured," I took my first glance at the doctor. He was older. A head full of grey and balding on top with glasses that he pushed up farther on his nose as he looked over his notes. He wore no white overcoat. His other clothes weren't dressy. Instead, he was dressed in a NOFX shirt and blue jeans. He looked pretty odd. "Yes sir, we already reset it, but we'll put it in a cast tomorrow." He murmured something about not having the supplies now.

Alex thanked him, shook his hand, then turned back to me and helped me off the table (not like I needed it though; it wasn't a far drop to jump from the table to the floor –only a few inches). I glanced back at the room as we exited it. The doctor was putting something away in one of the cabinets. The table/chair I'd been laying on, the white paper had been wrinkled.

I turned back around and left only to be revealed that the "doctors office" was actually a small room behind one of the stages. Once outside I realized we were right by the stage. I didn't know who was playing though. It was some band doing a cover of Motley Crue's "Dr. Feelgood." I hummed along to the lyrics until we passed the stage and I turned to Alex.

"What happened?"

Alex was confused. "Huh? When?"

"How long have I been out?" Instead of repeating my last question, I shot out another one.

"Oh. That. Uh…about thirty minutes. I don't know actually. You looked like you were having some sort of anxiety attack or something. I had said something to Jack and when I turned around you were just standing there, like, out of it. I touched your shoulder and you jerked away. We kept asking you if you were okay, but you never answered and you just fell." He let out a shaky breath. "I caught you at the last moment, but you'd passed out and landed on your wrist. Jackson said it was probably from stress and shock."

"Whose is Jackson?"

"The doctor. He's a guitar tech for Kick Me Once."

I looked at him confused. "They're a new band from Virginia. Really good and the singer and guitarist have a kid, too. Allie, I think? She's your age."

"…They have a kid?" I paused. "How old are they?!"

He laughed. "Late thirties. I guess they had her while they were still in school."

I shook my head. "I don't ever want a kid."

"Really now?"

I nodded.

"I guess we don't have to worry about you sleeping around with girls then?"

"Nope. I don't do that lifestyle. That's all up to you and Jack."

"But we don't sleep around with groupies. They're too –young. Yeah-young. And kinda creepy at some points."

I grinned. "Got any crazy groupie stories?"

He was serious. "Nope, got any reason why you don't want to have kids?"

I shrugged. "Wouldn't make a good parent."

Alex busted out laughing. "You think you'd make a bad parent? You? You're already a parent Phoenix. Already one. And just for the record, you're a great one, but when it comes to parenting yourself, you're a horrible parent. But that’s fine because that's where I come in to play to take care of you."

"Last time I checked, I didn't have a kid."

"Emma's practically your kid. Heck, I'm sure if anything happened to her you'd do all you could to get revenge on the person who wronged her. If anything at school went down, you'd be up there in the office cussing out the principle before Mona got there.

And she see's you as the same way. She thinks you're her parent. Or closest thing to one she's got. Don't believe me? Phoenix Envy, She called you when she got lost, not Mona. She wanted you to help her, not Mona. Do you believe me now?"

I stopped in my tracks. He continued. "And Mona's told me of countless times that she winds up in your bedroom because of bad dreams. She told me that she's searched the whole building before just to find Emma and when everything boiled down, she found her in your room. Asleep." He paused. "You parent her, and you're good at it."

I shook my head. "Thing is, I can't see myself parenting anyone but her. Kids aren't my thing."

"You're not old enough to have kids anyways."

I chewed on my lip piercing. "I know. I don't need one anyways."

"Good."

By this time we were at the bus and I was tired of having the 'You're-to-young-to-have-kids" sermon. He was the one that brought up the kids thing in the first place by bringing up the family band who had a kid.

It was getting dusk out and All Time Low still had to play their show. They were borrowing Jake Bundrick from Mayday Parade as their drummer until the guy named Rian could return from the family issue. In fact they were supposed to play in thirty minutes and Alex still hadn't gotten ready.

He came out from the bunk area, pulling a shirt over his head and motioned for the others to go ahead and start walking out. Jack and Zack bid me goodbye as Alex grabbed a water from the fridge, took a sip then walked over to me. Embracing me, he pulled me up from the couch. "Don't do anything stupid, okay? Promise me."

"I promise."

He kissed my forehead and made his way out the door. I followed him as he walked off, but he stopped and called over his shoulder. "Love you Phoenix Envy. And if you go out, lock the door and take your phone, okay?"

"Okay." I called back. But I didn't tell him I loved him. I still didn't trust them all the way. And I wouldn't let myself, either. The fear of being hurt was always there…even if the majority of my brain told me I could trust them.

But I couldn't. I grabbed my phone and dialed a few numbers. "Hey Mona? You find Emma yet?"