Take This To Heart

I'd been walking for two hours when my phone started buzzing in my pocket. I hadn't even made it to the east side of Columbus I figured if I got out of the city by tonight, I'd be making good timing by walking.

I looked at the phone screen. Alex was flashing in bright letters. I was hesitant to pick up, but I did anyways.

"Hello?" I asked, timidly.

"Where the heck are you? Please tell me you're safe and somewhere in the venue grounds. And this letter we just found is a big joke."

"Uh…"

"Phoenix, please." He started sobbing. "You promised me you wouldn't do this. You said you wouldn't do anything stupid."

"I," My voice cracked. I did this to him? I was making him cry? "A-Ale-x, list-listen. She-she needs me."

"No, Phoenix.You listen to me." He sniffled. "You can't help her now." Before I asked him what he meant by that, he asked me where I was at.

"Alex I haven't even made it out of Columbus yet. I think I'm going in a circle or either Ohio’s a big state." I looked for a street sign and gave him the address. "I'm across from a park."

He let out a short, sad laugh. "Envy, you have been going around in a circle. You're fifteen minutes away from the venue. Stay there. I'll come get you. Bye." And he hung up.

The wait for Alex was a long one that was almost doubled in timing because of traffic. When he finally pulled up in the car, he opened up the door, ran towards me and embraced me in a tight hug. The way he started crying on me, I knew something was wrong.

"Alex? Why ya crying? What's wrong?" I was worried now and instead of answering he led me to the car. When we were inside, he put on his seatbelt, but tipped his head back, let out a sigh and tugged on his hair. It seemed like he'd adopted my nervous habit. To break the silence, I asked Alex what was wrong.

He let out a shuddering sigh. "They found Emma, Phoenix, and she hasn’t been kidnapped. Figured I’d snuff those rumors now."

I breathed a sigh of relief, but panicked again when he didn’t sound happy. "Is she dead?" I choked out.

He shook his head. "Not yet, no. Phoenix, she ran away from an off duty police officer and ran into traffic. A car hit her." Another ragged sigh. "The doctors have been trying the best they can." He paused, looking at me, but I was focused on my hands. "She's in a coma, Phoenix." I was in shock. "And I'm going to be blunt with you," He started again, wiping his nose. "They don't think she'll make it."

My jaw twitched before my lower lip started trembling. Then the waterworks came. I remember the last thing I’d told her: Stay away from strangers unless they were policemen.

I should have been more specific. I should have told her the police officers would help her even if they weren’t in uniform. Ashamed, I turned away and looked out the window, past the thousands of buildings zooming by along with all the people walking on the streets. Life was going on just as it had, even though everything was really screwed up with Emma.

I noticed we were pulling up back at the venue. He pulled up on our road, the dirt track where our bus was parked at. "Do they know?" I asked, timidly, wiping my nose and the tears from my eyes.

"Yeah." He turned towards me. "Zack was the one to get the call."

I nodded, still whimpering. He noticed. "Envy," I looked at him. "She'll be fine. I promise. She was partially raised by you and you're as strong as an ox when it comes to not giving up."

I sniffled, wiping my nose and gruffly said, "You don't know that. I'm weak, but Emma is a strong girl. She believes."

"You're not weak." He shook his head. "And you're right she is strong, but what does she believe in that you don't?"

My answer was simple, but I was scared of what Alex would think when I gave him his answer. I shook my head and looked out the window, tracing invisible images into the glass. "Life." I breathed out. "She believes everything has a purpose. Me…not so much. We live. We breathe. We die. Her theory is more…difficult. We're born. We grow. We love. We watch others. We create friendships. We trust. And the cycle doesn't stop when someone dies," I sighed. "She's a great girl and a boy won't know what he'll miss out on without her."

"That's the truth." Alex sighed out. "C'mon. I told Mona you'd call her when we found you."
I weakly nodded. Jack was waiting at my door and opened it for me. I attempted to step out, but my legs were noodles and I crumpled to the ground. Jack caught me last moment under my armpits, but I just looked up at him. I knew no emotion was in my eyes, because he looked back at me with pity; it was the only way I'd ever been looked upon when I gave a blank face. "Thanks." I finally found my voice.

He nodded once and lifted me back to my feet. I took another step, but once more stumbled. Jack caught me again, but this time, swung his arm around under my legs and back and picked me up at my head lolled to the side. I didn't even know my tears where coming until I heard Zack's voice point it out.

"…He needs to drink something. He's been out in this heat for three hours and he's crying. He needs some fluids in his system, really."

I blinked lazily as we passed into the comfort of the shade of the bus. Jack turned sideways so he could squeeze into the tight fit and get me inside.

"He's not stable enough to walk, much do something as simple as swallowing a drink of water." Jack muttered. "Let him rest for a few moments."

"He's in shock. Rest won't help him. Food and water will." Zack argued back.

Alex sighed. "Get him a can of beer. The alcohol will help him."

Zack and Jack stopped at the mention of alcohol. Months ago I had abused the substance and now Alex was practically giving it to me? I groaned and dreamily shook my head. "Gotta get clean." I murmured.

Jack gently set me down in my bunk and pulled a throw over me. Alex ran a hand through his hair and left. He returned minutes later (after a very noisy trip to the kitchenette) with a plastic see-though cup. It was a slight milky color. "Yeah, well try this."

I was hesitant to drink it. What if it was milk mixed with watered down vodka or booze and he'd tried to trick me? I looked back at him and he motioned for me to go on. I drank it in a few gulps. It was bitter and grainy and had no taste of alcohol whatsoever, but I coughed like crazy.

I looked back up at him, wondering what I'd just drank. He bit his fingernail and held his elbow up with his other hand. "It's water mixed with protein powder and two sleeping pills smashed up."

"Drugs?" I asked, my voice catching.

"Don't worry." He smirked, "You're still clean as in no illegal drugs/alcoholic beverages. The pills I gave you are to help you, not harm you."

I could only nod. He pushed the hair from my face and told me to rest. "I won't be ten feet away from the bus until you wake up."

"Us either." Zack added softly.

I smiled. "Thanks." I saw their confused faces and before they could ask why, I answered, "For caring."