Take This To Heart

Pain seared through my body. And to tell you, I didn't expect to wake up this time. I groaned, trying to stop the pounding in my head. I didn't attempt to get up or jerk the IV from my elbow bend this time, I was in too much pain.

The shallow beep of my monitor reminded me of yesterday’s events and I faintly remember Jack telling me I was pushing my limits when it came to playing around with death. I had definitely pushed my limits when it came to running that long and far with my daily lack of nutrition.

Then the monitor faded with a new sound. Voices. Outside my door. Yelling. And it reminded me so much of my old home.

"Alex, he's got to go. He's been in the hospital twice now and witnesses from other bands did hear him say he hated you." Mona.

"He was just angry, Mona. Please. Don't do this to me." Alex was pleading.

She sighed. "Alex. He's not happy. Life on the road is too difficult for him. You have to do what's best for him, not you. That’s the whole point of adopting a child: helping them."

"I am." Moaned Alex. "I really am. He said he hated me because I found out he wasn't eating and we got into it because of that. I was trying to keep him alive, Mona." Alex sobbed and he was on his knees, his face in his hands. I could see them from my bed; the door was open.
Mona just looked at him, unsure.

I blinked. "I swear, Mona." Alex answered with a shaky voice. "I did nothing to hurt that boy."

He made an effort to stand, but stumbled and gripped his stomach, doubling over, a grimace coming over his face. “We didn’t hurt him.” He repeated. Mona let a tiny bit of concern flood her face, but it washed away when she looked at me, not knowing I was awake. He breathed heavily and looked up at Mona. "I wouldn't ever do anything to harm him, Mona. I wouldn't ever intentionally place him in a hospital. I don't want him hurt."

Jack ran into the picture, trying to help the scene playing out in front of me. "Shh." He whispered into Alex's ear. "Everything will be fine." Jack looked behind him, out of my line of view, and slowly Zack came over and picked up Alex, both of them slinging one of his arms around their shoulders.

Before leaving, Jack looked over his shoulder. "Call me when the judge decides a date. It should be in the next 72 hours and that should decide if he's allowed to stay with us or not."

He looked at Alex. "Trust me, this kid did his research."

Alex stumbled and Jack looked away. "C'mon, Alex. We're getting you to a hotel." Then they faded from my view and Mona looked a little…upset? A sigh escaped her lips and she looked at the tile floor, then at me. She squinted at me and rushed over at me, pushing my hair back. "Phoenix, please tell me you didn't hear any of that."

A tear rolled down my eye. "Are they taking Alex away?"

She chewed on her lip and looked away.

"Are they?" I repeated my question.

"Envy, did he hurt you?"

I shook my head, offended by the question. "No. And they won't take him away. If they do, I'll just run away. I swear I will. Mona, don’t do this to him."

She let out a chocked sob. "What have they done to you?" She gave a sad smile. "You sound just like him." She ran her hand through my hair again. And again.

I frowned. "No I don't. He's got a more mellow voice, mine's rawer."

She let out a tinkling laugh. "No, I mean, it sounded like something he'd say." She sighed and looked back at the door.

"He's really tore up about you telling him you were going to take me away." I turned away from her and looked at the ceiling, my eyes watering.

"What do you expect me to do, Envy? It's my job, no matter if I am in love with…" She caught what she'd said and her eyes went wide. She clamped both hands over her mouth and started crying.

The two clicked. "You're in love with him?" I asked, my voice lost in the thought.

She nodded, quickly, rubbing the running mascara away from her eyes, smearing it. "Yeah, I've been denying it, though."

My eyes shot between the doorway and her crying figure. "Mona, you've still got time."

"What?" She babbled out.

"Go after him."

She shook her head. "I've blew it when I told him I was taking you away."

"Go after him."

"What about you?" At least she was considering it now.

"What about me? Not like I can move." I grinned. "Go! Now!"

She looked at the door, kissed my forehead and rushed out the door after him. The hospital bed was right beside the window. I opened the blinds and looked down after them. I could see Jack and Zack practically dragging Alex away and Alex looking up at the building behind him. Moments later, Mona ran out after them, stopping a few feet away as they turned around. I saw her gesturing widely a few times, then collapse on the ground doubling over just as Alex had. Alex pushed away from Zack and Jack, stumbling over to Mona and wrapped his arms around her, embracing. He wiped his eyes and so did she. They hugged again…and then…he kissed her, picked her up and brought her back inside.

When they did return back to my room, Alex gave a small smile while Jack and Zack were grinning like crazy. "She finally told him." Jack announced, then his smile faded and he rolled his eyes, "After she broke his heart."

Mona gave a tired smile. "I didn't expect it to be like this. With Envy in the hospital."

The room went silent and I broke it. "Mona? How's Emma?"

She sighed. "Still healing."

"She awake yet?"

"No, not yet, Envy."

I sighed. "So…what's the plan? Do I still have to go to court?" I looked around at all the faces in the room.

Mona looked at the floor and back up at me. "I'm afraid, yes, you do. After the Warped Tour. A few weeks after school starts back. But not for that. It’s just a small hearing based on how you are adjusting. The basics."

I looked at the ceiling. "A new school is going to suck.” It was true. I’d never switched to a different school before and was extremely worried about my ability at making friends. At my old school, Derek was the only one I really talked too. Now he was gone. …And the thought of being a loner was really, well, lonely looking.

"Where are we going after Warped?" I asked.

Alex took it the wrong way. "Envy, I knew you feel like you don't have a permanent home, but you do, really. In two weeks, Warped will make it's way up into New York. We’ll stop in and visit Emma if she’s still there and catch up with Rian who will join us from there. After that, we’re going to Maryland where we're going to drop you off at Jack's parent's house and finish the tour. It's only another week left after we hit Maryland and when we get back, we're going to settle down for a bit."

I shook my head. "No. I'm fine with the road. I like all the free stuff." I grinned. "And I've made a few new friends, too, that is if they don't think I'm a brat now because of what I said at the meal tent." I grimaced.

Alex gave a small smile. "No. No one thinks that. In fact, you've got a letter."

I cocked my head to the side. "A letter? From who?"

"Two actually." Jack handed another one over.

"Uh…" Zack laughed, smiling. "Nah uh. He's got six." He counted the four envelopes in his hand again, shuffling them like cards before handing them all over them. I looked at all six of them in my hand and back up at them.

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"Hey," Zack shrugged, "You're popular. Go figure."

They all laughed. Including me. I ripped open the first one and read the first few lines.

Hey kid,

Heard you were in the hospital. For some reason, I felt like I really needed to write you and tell you to get better soon. Also you know you've sparked a debate over twitter? Lol. That's where I heard the news about you and got the address for the hospital. Debates about how you said something about hating Warped Tour and all the bands and stuff. A few fans have stood up for you, saying that you've been having a pretty rough few weeks with your sister being in the hospital and you haven’t talked and some crap like that. I refuse to tell you what the haters are saying because after all that’s what they are: haters. So don’t let anyone get you down with rumors and gossip and stuff. Hey, and I know you've only met me once, but you really need to come over some time or give a call. Vivian has been asking about you a lot. I think she likes you. So call sometime. Message me over Myspace or something and I'll give you my number.

Get better soon,
Ryan Ross

I smiled and placed the letter to the side where it was intercepted by Jack, but then taken by Zack. Zack turned to me with it in his hand. "Is it OK if we read this?" Behind Zack, Jack was childishly sticking his tongue out at him and trying to get back the letter, Zack moving it out of the way at last moment. Jack was glaring and all the others laughing, including me. I believed Alex's and Mona's argument earlier had been forgotten.

I nodded at Zack and turned to Alex. "When are we going back to Warped?" Zack started reading.

Alex looked at the ceiling. "As soon as you get released." I nodded and began opening the next letter.

Before I'd ripped it halfway open, the doctor entered the room with my folder in his hands.

He glanced up from it once and nodded to the others, his eyes tired looking. "I need everyone to leave the room unless you're his guardian." Jack and Zack exchanged looks and slowly walking out of the room. Zack looked back once: at me. Then they left, closing the door behind them.

The doctor glanced at Alex and Mona. "You're both his guardians?"

Mona nodded. "I'm like his mom and Alex recently adopted him."

The man's eyes widened. "So he's an orphan? No blood relatives?"

Mona shook her head. "Why? What's wrong?"

The doctor motioned towards the window seat and Mona, shaking, sat down in Alex's lap. His arms wrapped around her protectively and I couldn't help but smile as he rested his chin on her shoulder. Dr. Thompson grabbed a metal folding chair himself and threw my folder on the floor. He straddled the chair backwards on rested his arms across the back, looking at both Alex and Mona. He glanced at me. "Do you know if any blood relatives of his had an illness called Anemia?"

Alex shifted his glance at me, his eyes wide. "No," Mona answered, "We don't know much about his parents’ health issues. His father is in prison and his mother ran off a long time ago."

Thompson scooped up my folder and made a note on the inside cover. "What about vegetarian?" He turned towards me. "Do you eat meat?"

I nodded. He scribbled another note. His eyes gazed back over at the couple on the couch. "Does he have a hard time remembering or concentrating? Does he sleep a lot? Get headaches and feel tired?"

Alex chewed on his bottom lip. "He's been sleeping a lot, lately."

"Emma is in the hospital!" I snapped. "I believe the proper explanation of my sleeping habits would be grieving." I was seething. "Nothing's wrong with me. Just leave me alone."

The doctor glanced sympathetically at me. "We took some blood when you were asleep and the test results just came back. We believe you have a common illness called Iron Deficiency Anemia. It's very common in teens." He scribbled again in his notebook.

"Will you stop writing?" I moaned. "It's highly annoying."

Mona glared warningly at me and Alex was trying not to laugh. Dr. Thompson put away his notebook and turned towards me. "Well then Envy, tell me what your eating habits are like?"
I was silent.

Alex spoke up. "For the last few weeks since Emma's hospitalization, he hasn't spoke or eaten. We've had to force feed him."

The Doctor chuckled and shut my folder. "Then tell ya what: I'll release him right now, but all this week I want him to eat good and get active, then next week we'll have him come in to check his iron. That should tell us how things are going for sure."

Alex nodded. “Alright. So he’s good now? We can leave?” The doctor nodded, but Mona stopped him before he could get too far away. “Wait! We travel a lot. Is there anyway we could keep up the tour and go to a different hospital at our next stop?”

The doctor looked confused. “Tour? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Alex is in a band, sir, and they’ve been traveling a lot lately with the Warped Tour. Is there anyway we could continue that and stop at a different hospital on our way to have the iron checked?”

The doctor nodded. “Yes, I’ll write you a note myself with my fax number so I can send his file to the other doctor.” Dr. Thompson left.

Mona gave her thanks as he walked out the door while Alex was watching her, smiling. When the Dr. was out of the room, she turned towards him. “What?”

“You said ‘we’.” He commented simply. “Does that mean you’ll be joining us at Warped?”

“No Alex. I have my responsibilities, too, you know. I have to be there for Emma.”

“And I have to be there for Envy, but I still have time to talk to you, Mona. Say you’re going with us. Please come with me.” His eyes were pleading with her, but she shook her head.

“No. I can’t. Not now. When Emma’s better.”

“That could be years! Years before she wakes up!”

“Alex, my job is already on the line because of all this. I was given orders to take Phoenix out of your custody, but I didn’t. Emma’s in the hospital for something that happened under my care. Alex, if I do this, I’ll loose my job. I can’t let that happen.” He sighed and looked away, releasing her from his cage of arms he’d created. “Money’s tough to come by and if I loose this job, I won’t have anywhere to go. Please, Alex-“ He cut her off.

“I’ve got money, Mona. Enough money, okay? I just want you with me. Be my girlfriend? Come with me?”

Mona looked taken aback and it was then I noticed Zack and Jack standing at the door, smiling, arms crossed over their chest. When Mona didn’t say anything, Zack broke in. “Just say yes. We all know you want to.”

Mona looked away and shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. “No. Not now.” She walked over to me, kissed my forehead, told me she loved me, and left.