Take This To Heart

“Love sucks, doesn’t it?” Alex yelled at the crowd. They cheered in agreement. “Yeah,” Alex continued, “’Specially when someone turns you down.” That caused a loud commotion in the crowd, as if some people couldn’t understand who’d turned down Alex. “Yeah, yeah. I know…it sucks. This one’s called “Break You’re Little Heart”!” They started into the song, but I left.

And it was just the first song of their set, but to open like that? It was disgusting. He was telling all his fan about his love life, about Mona, without saying her name, and knowing what the crowds’ response would be. They’d hate the girl that turned him down. And now I hated him for doing that to Mona.

Angered, I fled their set and made my way over to a vendor to get a small order of fries and a medium Coke. I sat at a small table wondering what exactly had went wrong between Mona going after Alex at the hospital and her then turning him down. I knew she wanted to say yes, but I couldn’t process her thinking at the moment, and apparently, neither could Alex or Zack or Jack. As I was mulling over my thoughts, someone sat down in front of me. I looked up cautiously. Chris met my face with a giant smile. “Hey, Phoenix Envy. Whatcha doin’ out here?”

I shook my head, picking up a fry and biting it off ferociously. “Alex was being a jerk on stage.”

Chris furrowed his brow. “What did he do? He seems like he pulls off a good show. Everyone was cheering when I passed their set.”

I dipped the end of my fry in BBQ sauce; I couldn’t stand ketchup. Tearing it apart with my teeth, I swallowed. “That’s the problem. He’s always saying rude things and everyone loves him. It’s sick.”

“Well what’d he say?” His confusion hadn’t passed and it seemed that he was still at square one with deciding what was wrong with me. “He said something about Mona. She’s been my mother-like figure since as long as I can remember and you can tell they’ve had this connection, you know? And he asked her out, but she turned him down and then he commented on it at the set and everyone started commenting about it!” My breathing was beginning to hitch and I was talking so fast that I thought I was having a panic attack. Chris quickly moved over to my side of the table and placed a comforting hand on my back. I sniffled. “He puts everyone down and everyone likes him.”

He sighed. “Phoenix, you’ve got to understand. It’s hard to vent in the music business unless you’re writing lyrics. When you play gigs, it’s the only time you really have to get off what’s on you’re mind. Believe me. Everyone playing on this tour is guilty of it. We don’t do it often. It just kinda slips sometimes. You’ve got to look at it from his point of view.

Alex is really stressed right now. He’s worrying about you’re stability at the moment with Emma in the hospital. He’s got to think about the fans that come out everyday to see him play. He can’t let them down. He’s got one member of the band in New York for another week due to a family emergency. On top of all that, he just got turned down. That in a whole is enough to make someone suicidal.”

I was looking away. I’d never realized how much Alex had going on at the same time. But it still didn’t give him an excuse to put Mona down like that in front of everyone. I told that to Chris.

“Maybe you guys should talk about it. That might get everything sorted out and make it a lot easier on Alex and you.” I nodded.

“Thanks, Chris.”

He smiled. “Mind if I have a fry?”

“Knock yourself out.” I pushed the basket towards him. Drumming my fingers on the table I turned towards him. It hit me that this was one of the artist Christine loved…and never in my widest dreams had I ever imagined him becoming somewhat of my friend here. A small smile escaped my lips.

He noticed and furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”

The smile faded quickly. “Nothing.” He didn’t look too convinced. “I Promise.” I grinned, drumming my fingers again. I didn’t noticed I was getting on his nerves until he placed his hand over mine to stop it.

Grinning like crazy, he threatened, “If you tap you’re fingers again, I'll tie you up, take you to my bus, and-"

I cut him off. "Ohh. Kinky." I grinned, laughing.

He glared before finishing his thought. "...And I’m going to take some spare guitar string and cut them off.”

I widened my eyes. “Violent, aren’t we?”

“Absolutely.” He agreed.

“Don’t you have a set to perform?” I asked lazily.

He shook his head, his mouth full of French Fries. Swallowing, he answered. “Not until 2:50.”

It was my turn to look confused… ”But it’s already 2:46…shouldn’t you be at the stage already?”

He spat out the fry and looked panicked. “You’re lying. Please tell me you’re lying!”

I laughed and shook my head as he jumped from his seat, me trailing at his feet. It took about two minutes with the speed he was running at to get to where we could at least see the stage. Chris took the “shortcut” and I watched with wide eyes.

“I’m here! I’m here! Don’t leave yet!” He rushed into the crowd, me after him, grabbing onto his shirt so I could get by too. The crowd all surged towards him, crushing me, but no one seemed to touch him with that much force. They all leaned toward their idol, crowded around him, but allowed him room to breath. All the fans were practically on top of each other just to be a few feet closer to him.

He greeted everyone in the mosh pit as he weaved through them. “Nice hair,” Move forward a step. “You have a lovely smile.” Another step. ”I like you’re shirt.” Grin and move forward. “Hi, I’m Chris, what’s you’re name?” Let the person answer. “That’s cool.” And move forward. He’d touch everyone’s shoulder that he complimented before moving on. We must have spent five minutes in the crowd before we finally mad it to the stage. Exiting the crowd, I dropped my grip of his shirt and followed him with a limp up to the side of the stage.

Something had accidentally scraped my leg while Chris was on his meet and greet crusade. I grimaced when I looked down and saw it was bleeding from a small gash.

Chris looked back at me, saw the gash, and asked if I was ok…into the microphone. My cheeks ruddy, I weakly smiled and nodded once. I didn’t feel safe when everyone was looking at me like that. I felt vulnerable. He nodded back at me and spoke into the microphone while a roadie brought out his acoustic guitar along with a stool for him to sit on while playing.

“Hi guys. I’m Chris and that,” He pointed at me, “is one of my good friends, Phoenix Envy. Can you guy’s say hi to him? He’s kinda new around here.” Chris grinned at his fans as they all greeted me, making me feel more than nervous.

“How many of you are here for the first time?” A good roar erupted from the crowd. “A good bit then, huh? How many Nevershoutnever! fans are here?” Another roar. “Who knows the lyrics too all my songs?” Whoops and cheers followed. He grinned and sat down on the stool, grabbing up his instrument and strumming the first few chords to a song I didn’t know.

The fans didn’t lie; they sung every word, every line, every song. Til the very end and what he did next shocked me. He turned towards me and asked into the microphone what my favorite song was.

Confused, I asked, “What does that have to do with anything?”

He rolled his eyes. “You came up here on stage with me, it’s you’re gig, too, so you’re singing.” The crowd cheered and my eyes widened. I shook my head.

“Name a song.” He demanded.

I shook my head.

“Phoenix,” he whined.

“No.”

“Fine,” He grumbled, then turned to the crowd. “Phoenix won’t sing with me, but who wants too out in the crowd?” A louder cheer than ever rode through the set and a hundred or so hands shot up. Chris picked four at random: a girl from the second row, a boy in the very back corner, and a brother and sister pair who happen to be twins. He asked them all for their names then asked them if they knew the song “Wonderwall” by Oasis.

And that was the song they sang. Somewhere in the middle of it, Chris caught my eye and nodded over to me to come join them all at the mike.

I did. And I sang my heart out, thinking about the small petite girl that lay in a hospital bed.