Take This To Heart

I was too wasted to notice the car pull into Derek's driveway. We were in the garage and Madden was with us along with BC, but all of us were wasted…except BC because being five, Derek wouldn't allow the small boy to even know what drugs were. Derek and I were the oldest ones there. We were friends since fourth grade and had become friends when we learned we had the same birthday: September 11, 1994. We were both sixteen as of now and Madden, who was also wasted, was only ten.

Derek's parents didn't care about him. His mom left him a few weeks back and his dad was an abusive drunk kinda like mine. He took care of Madden and BC by himself, but sometimes, when the stress got too much, he'd invite me over and we'd both wind down at the same time. Getting high was so much more fun when you had a friend getting high with you.

Madden was snorting the coke up from the mirror when I noticed Alex and Jack getting out of the car, looking angered and shocked. Alex looked like he wanted to throttle me and Jack just looked at me with pity.

Wasted, I asked, stupidly, "Hey, ya want some?"

Alex was fuming. "Get in the car." His tone was very stern and being stoned, the demand got to me a little late.

"I want coke…." I whined.

Jack forced me into the car, keeping a hand on my back to lead me. When I tried to slow down, he pushed me, making me trip and fall on the concrete. I can remember pushing myself up and sitting on my knees on the ground only to look at my bloodied palms. "Huh." I had muttered out in amazement, watching the blood.

Jack rolled his eyes and pulled me up, pushing me into the car and slamming the door shut. He went and waited for Alex who was knocking on Derek and Madden's door, trying to get the parents’ attention. I can recall me trying to get Jack's attention and tell him to tell Alex that their parents didn’t care, but I was too late and Derek's dad came to the door, drunk.

He slurred out the words, "Who are you and what are you doin' on my porch?"

Alex tried to tell him what was going on in the garage, but he would hear none of it and he came after Alex with a paintball gun that I know was Derek's.

Alex reconsidered his decision very quickly and on his way to the car, he grabbed Madden, BC and Derek and forced them in the car. BC was crying a little and had to sit in Derek's lap because there was no more room in the backseat and after about ten minutes after he stopped crying, he lay down on all of us-Me, Madden, and Derek- and just fell asleep.

In front, Alex and Jack were discussing about what to do with me. The clock in the car's radio screen read 9:06 P.M. already and I half expected Alex to drive us to the Police Station and report what we'd done. After all, they spent money on me and then I go and blow everything by doing crack.

Alex and Jack went quite and the silence stretched for a moment before I said anything. "Tomorrow when you leave for good, you can take back the clothes. All of them have got the tags still on them except this outfit…and the tags are laying on my dresser so you can just take them with you and say it was a gift or something." I mumbled out.

They ignored me. I tried to continue, but I only said two words and Jack blew up. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" His voice was dripping with venom and I honestly thought that if I had to choose between facing him or facing Derek's dad, it would be Derek's dad. I flinched at his voice. "Sorry doesn't cut it." He hissed back, angered.

I shut up then, fighting back tears. I wasn't supposed to get caught. I'm never caught. As much fighting I did, still a glassy drop rolled down my cheek. I brushed it away quickly.

We were on the road back to the Center and I could see the building from here. I was confused when we passed it. "Where are we going?" My voice rose in paranoia.

I thought I saw Jack whisper to Alex and Alex whisper back to him, but my pulse was too loud in my ears and I couldn't hear them. My breath hitched and I couldn't breath for a moment. By now, Madden and Derek were already passed out with their brother. I should be, I knew, because coke usually knocked me out, but fear was creeping over my body and keeping me awake.

"How long have you been addicted?" Alex finally asked.

"I'm not addicted." I said.

"How long have you been snorting coke?" Alex asked again, rephrasing his words.

"Two years. When my sister died."

Alex and Jack were silent after that.

I broke the silence. "Where are you taking us? The Center's that way." I pointed back.

"We can't exactly have you wasted when we bring you back, can we?" Jack asked, as if the answer was so easy to come up with.

It took me a while to get what they were saying. I couldn't communicate so well when I was stoned. Everything comes to me too slow. "But its good proof." I said. "I go to Juvie and you can continue with your career."

Alex sighed. "We don’t want proof against you and we don't want you to go to Juvie."

I answered slowly again. "But, any sane person would. They'd just show me to Mona and tell me that I was a waste of life if I was going to do this junk."

Jack turned around at me and gave me a small smile. "Lucky for you, me and Alex aren't exactly the most sane people in the world."

I could only nod and then I asked if I could sleep it off. They said, "Yeah," so I did and when I woke up, we were in a Winn-Dixie parking lot. I knew we were pretty far from the Center because I didn't know any Winn-Dixie’s that were close by.

"Where are we?" I asked.

Madden moaned at my voice, telling me to shut up, that he had a headache. I noticed Alex was absent from the car. Jack explained. "We're getting you some Cokes to drink on the way back. We figured you'd be pretty thirsty once you woke up."

"Thanks." I answered.

"I don't want any more coke." Madden complained. "I've got too much of a headache. Maybe later, 'k?"

By the way Jack was looking at Madden, I could tell that he wanted to hit him just to knock some sense into him.

Annoyed, I said, "Not the drugs. You actually think they'd give us more drugs? Idiot. The drink, Madden, the drink!"

He looked at me confused before answering. "They have a drink called Coke? Cool." He continued to rest his head on his brother's shoulder who was knocked out like death.

Jack was clearly annoyed by this, maybe even more so than me. "Dude, where have you been for the last century?!"

Madden didn't respond and I could tell he was knocked out again. I pointed at his head and whisper to Jack, "It’s the drugs. They usually make him forget things and get him confused like this. He'll be better in a few hours."

"He better," Jack grumbled, "or I will be put in prison early for strangling an annoying kid."

I gave a small smile, but I didn't comment. I didn't think it would help my situation anyways.
When Alex got back with the sodas, I sipped on mine silently.