Welcome To The Family

Zack and I got married on October 1, 2009, two years after I came back into his life. I had left my job in Los Angeles and came home to Huntington to live with him. I helped him run his clothing company, because I refused to sit on my ass and bum off of him.

I had my dream wedding, and Zack finally tied down the girl he had been in love with since high school. The band was amazingly successful, and working on the next album. Life was perfect.

Until December 28, 2009.

I had been feeling sick a lot lately, and I was late. I hadn't told Zack. He was so busy in the studio that I didn't want to bother him until I was sure. I set up a doctor's appointment for that Monday morning. I told Zack it was a yearly checkup, and he asked no further questions.

It was an early appointment, and I was called back into the room by eight-thirty. The doctor came in, made me piss in a cup, and then I had to wait an agonizing ten minutes for him to come back with my results.

“Well, Mrs. Baker, are you ready for your results?” He asked. I raised a daring eyebrow at him. This wasn't something I felt like joking about.

“Okay, I guess you are. Congratulations. You're going to be a mother,” He smiled. The air left my body and I couldn't move. I was pregnant. At 27 years old, I was going to be a mother.

“I'll leave you alone for a moment. You can leave and make your appointment with your OBGYN as soon as you're ready,” The doctor quickly left the room.

Hot tears began spilling down my cheeks. I was really going to be a mother.

Would I even be a good mom? Mine was awful. Was a trait like that genetic? Would I also be a bitchy, neglecting parent?

No. Never. I would never do that to a child.

Zack and I would be great parents. I'd make sure of it.

I recovered from my shock after a few minutes and grabbed my purse. Stepping out of the exam room, I headed down the hall to the desk where I would make my next appointment.

“Congratulations!” The young nurse at the desk smiled at me.

“Thanks,” I smiled.

“Let's just set you up with Dr. Smith for an appointment later this week. So is this your first?” She asked, clicking away at the computer screen

“Yep.”

“Oh, you must be so excited!”

“Very. Now I just have to tell the daddy,” I chuckled.

“I'm sure he'll be thrilled. Okay, here we go. You need to come in on Thursday at eleven. Is that okay?”

“That's fine. Thanks,” I took the appointment card from her and quickly exited. I got into my brand new Camaro, which had been Zacky's wedding present to me, and buckled in. I sat there for a moment, contemplating how to tell him.

I definitely wanted to do it on that day, but I couldn't decide whether to wait until that night, or just bust up in the house and scream it. The clock read 9:00, meaning Zack was still asleep. I grinned and immediately made the decision to go wake him up and tell him. I pulled out of the parking lot as the happiest, yet most nervous woman in the world.

Traffic was extremely annoying on the way home. Everyone was going to work at this time, and the streets were packed. Stopping at a red light, I observed the people traveling by foot. Several of them were women, leading children by hand. I smiled and wondered if I would look that adorable with my own child. The light turned green and I hit the gas. I never saw the truck that ran the light and smashed into the passenger side of my car. There was a loud crash; my head slammed into the window. Everything instantly went dark.

I was in and out of consciousness. I saw bright lights around me, and heard what sounded like hundreds of voices yelling about certain medications. Eventually, I totally blacked out. Everything was dark.

Zack

The phone rang at 9:20 in the morning, a shrill ringing that jolted me awake. It immediately felt like something was wrong.

“Hello?” I answered quickly.

“Zack! Zacky- Oh God,” Brian's voice sobbed into the phone. I could hear Michelle screaming in the background.

“Bri? What the fuck's wrong?” I jumped out of bed and ran to the closet to throw some clothes on.

“Jimmy,” He managed to get out. I panicked. Something had happened to one of my best friends. That's what the feeling was.

“What happened?” My voice cracked. I'd never been so scared in my life.

“He's gone!” He cried.

“Gone?!”

“Leana- She found him this morning. He's dead,” His voice hit an octave so high I was surprised I could understand him.

Tears fell. My heart broke. My best friend, my band mate, my fucking brother was gone. The pain ripped through my body worse than anything I'd ever felt. I'd never imagined anything like this happening to us.

“How?” I managed to break out.

“They don't know yet,” He whimpered.

“I've gotta call Kat. We'll be over to your place soon, okay?” I said weakly. I was trying not to break down until we were all together, but that was easier said than done. My entire body was shaking terribly and I couldn't breathe.

“O- Okay,” Brian said, then quickly hung up. I slipped into a pair of gym shorts and a black shirt quickly, while dialing Kat's number. The phone rang several times before her voicemail picked up.

I tried calling her again, only to get the same result. I stepped into my flip flops and hurried down the stairs of our home. I tried calling a third and fourth time, and still got no answer. I knew I couldn't put off going to Brian's any longer, so I left a voice mail telling her to get there as soon as possible. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door right as the land-line began to ring. Thinking it could be Kat because something was wrong with her phone, I decided to answer. It was very likely, considering she literally destroyed every cell phone she got.

“Baby? Is that you?” I asked quickly.

“Is this Zachary Baker?” A woman asked in a flat tone. I sighed in disappointment.

“Yeah, but listen I've gotta go. Whatever it is, call back,” I rushed.

“Sir, there's been an accident,” She said quickly.

“With Jimmy? Yeah, I know about it already,” I said without thinking.

“Mr. Baker, it's your wife. She was in a car accident.”

I almost passed out. I couldn't breathe. I'd just received the news that Jimmy was dead, and my wife was in the hospital.

“Is she okay?!”

“She's unconscious and that's the only information I have right now. A drunk driver ran a red light and hit her car.”

Kat

I wasn't in the real world. I knew that much. Everything was so dark, it was blinding.

I walked around my little world, with no clue where I was going. My hands were out in front of me, feeling for anything that I may run into. It felt like I was wondering through the blackness for days.

“Turn around,” A familiar voice said smoothly. I did as I was told without thinking, and was instantly greeted with brightness. The quick change of light did nothing to my eyes. In fact, it was comforting and it warmed my heart. Confused, I turned back around expecting to see the darkness again, but it was light all around.

“Hey! I'm right here!” The voice called. I turned once more, and saw a friendly smile that I loved.

“Jimmy?” I smiled. I ran to him and threw myself into his arms. His body was warm, which made me realize how frigid and cold my own was.

“What're you doing here?” I asked as I pulled away.

“I had to come see you. By the way, the guy that hit you didn't make it. He was drunk and trying to kill himself,” He said plainly.

“How did you know that?” I asked slowly.

“Up here, you know everything,” He shrugged.

“Up here? Where are we?” Confusion laced my words.

“Kat,” he sighed, “You know how you always said if I kept doing all that stupid shit, I'd end up killing myself?”

I nodded, too frightened to speak.

“You were right,” His smile softened his words.

“We're dead?!” I screeched. My voice echoed through the vast emptiness we were in.

“Well, I am. You're not. I made sure of that,” His voice was proud.

“How?” I whispered.

“You know I can be quite convincing,” He paused to wink, “But, I've lived my life. I've gotten everything I've ever wanted already. You, on the other hand, have at least one more thing to do.”

He placed his hand on my stomach.

“The little Baker has a big life ahead of him.”

“How did you know I was pregnant?” I asked weakly. At this point, it wasn't really surprising.

“Like I said, you know everything up here. Now, I've gotta go, and you've gotta get back down there. Zack needs you.”

“No! I won't leave without you!” I started crying. He reached forward and wiped the tears from my cheek.

“I'm where I'm supposed to be now. I'm okay. Tell them that. Tell Leana I love her, and tell Brian to calm his ass down 'cause he'll be up here with me one day. I love you, and everyone else. It was just my time to go.”

“I don't wanna leave you, though,” I whimpered. He smiled and hugged me tightly. The warmth from his body rushed into my own, leaving his skin feeling cold as mine had been. He pulled away and kissed my forehead.

“You have to. Now go. Zack's worried sick about you. So is everyone else. They don't wanna lose two of us in the same day,” He began stepping backwards away from me.

“I love you, Jimmy,” I said through tears.

“I love you, Kat,” His voice grew quieter as he backed up.

“Can I name the kid after you?” I smiled painfully.

“Go ahead. I think the world's gonna need another plague,” He laughed as he faded away. He raised his hand and waved. His body was blurry at this point, and the light was going out. The second he disappeared, darkness consumed me again.

All at once, I was awake. My eyes were open and I was back in the real world. The noises were loud as ever, and the room was bright. My head ached, but I was alive. Doctors and nurses crowded over me.

“She's awake,” One of them said.

“Katlain? Can you hear me?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I whispered.

“Good. Everything appears to be stable. We're gonna get you cleaned up and let your family come in,” He smiled at me.

“Thank you,” I sighed.

“Wait!” I said a bit too loudly. My head pulsed in pain.

“What is it?”

“My baby!” I paid no attention to my pain.

“The child is fine. You only hit your head and were knocked out for a while. Lost a little blood, but everything's okay,” He reassured me. I sighed in relief.

“Did you tell my husband about the baby?” I asked more quietly.

“We haven't left the room to speak to him yet. I'm about to head out now to tell him you're okay.”

“Don't tell him I'm pregnant. I wanna tell him,” I smiled weakly.

“From what the nurses have said, he's been out there raising hell since he got here so I'm sure he'll be in here in moments,” The doctor smiled and left the room. A nurse wiped my forehead. I assumed there was blood on it.

“Kat! Baby!” Zack's broken voice screamed as loud footsteps ran towards the door. He barged in and dropped at my side. He looked awful. His eyes were puffy, his cheeks were red and tear stained, and his hair was a mess. He took my hand in his and dropped his face against my shoulder.

“Baby! Oh God, you're okay. You scared me so bad,” He whimpered.

“I'm okay, baby. It's okay,” I leaned my head against his. The nurse smiled at us and exited the room.

“I couldn't stand the thought of losing you, too,” He cried.

“Zack, Jimmy's gone, isn't he?” I asked quietly. I hoped it was all a horrible dream, but I knew it wasn't. He jumped back and looked into my eyes.

“How did you know?” He furrowed his brow.

“I've got friends in high places,” I laughed weakly and pointed up.

“What?” He tilted his head.

“I know it sounds crazy, but I saw him. Zack, I saw him and talked to him. He's up there, and he's fine. He said it was just his time,” Tears began to flow. I would miss him more than anything, but he was okay.

Zack looked at me, his green eyes dull and red.

“Are you serious, baby?” He whispered.

“As a heart attack. How else would I have known he was gone?”

“Holy shit,” He sighed. I slid over and patted the bed so he could sit down. He looked exhausted. He quickly dropped next to me and laid down next to me. His arm rested over my stomach and I smiled to myself.

“There's something else I should tell you,” I whispered. I reached down and took his hand, and pressed it against my abdomen. He looked at me in expectation.

“You're gonna be a daddy,” I grinned.

James Sullivan Baker was born on August 1, 2010. Nightmare had just been released, and was number one on the charts. Our lives were almost perfect again.

They'd never be as perfect as they once were, though. Without Jimmy, nothing would ever be the same.

Little Jimmy would be raised hearing stories about his Uncle Jimmy, who he was named after. He would forever know him as the most amazing person he never got to meet.