Sequel: Withdrawl ›
Status: one-shot completed :}
Lost. In someone else's body
1/1
Seven out of ten adults respond to treatment.
So why not me? Sure I’m not quite an ‘adult’ but you would think after three- nearly four years something would be helping. But why isn’t?
Depression. It’s something I’m incredibly ashamed of, but I know I shouldn’t be. I’ve stood by and watched it come into my life, and I have constantly battled with it, trying to keep it in order. I’m yet to see the end of it.
But yet I still have to claw my way out of bed each morning, then force myself to school. Just to put up a mask and act like someone I’m not.
Everything I do gets criticised. My hair. The music I listen to. How I dress. What colour clothing I wear and even how well I do academically.
The people closest to me know my story. The dull painful one it is. It has no hero’s, not happy ending. Instead, it’s filled with tragedy, hurt, and pain. Physical, mental, and emotional pain. It just never leaves.
It has got so bad that I’ve lost all concentration and I have to work overtime just to pass tests. This uses all my energy I had and could’ve had. One thing that has to stay the same is my grades. Instead of getting high marks, now I am struggling to pass. If it isn’t bad enough, I can’t fail anything, otherwise people are going to figure out that who they think I am, I’m not.
Hell I don’t even know who I am anymore.
I used to be that person that was always playing sports, laughing and smiling. I enjoyed going to school and hanging out with my friends.
But now I’m lost.
I am the person that is always smiling, that always tries to organise times to hang out with their mates. But, the problem is that my smile is fake. And those plans for Saturday aren’t going to happen. They never do. And it’s not always my fault.
The people who I used to be able to turn to, have long gone.
I’m in someone-else’s body, surrounded by people that have no idea who I am.
The only problem with it is:
I don’t know who I am.
I’m lost.
With nowhere to turn.
So why not me? Sure I’m not quite an ‘adult’ but you would think after three- nearly four years something would be helping. But why isn’t?
Depression. It’s something I’m incredibly ashamed of, but I know I shouldn’t be. I’ve stood by and watched it come into my life, and I have constantly battled with it, trying to keep it in order. I’m yet to see the end of it.
But yet I still have to claw my way out of bed each morning, then force myself to school. Just to put up a mask and act like someone I’m not.
Everything I do gets criticised. My hair. The music I listen to. How I dress. What colour clothing I wear and even how well I do academically.
The people closest to me know my story. The dull painful one it is. It has no hero’s, not happy ending. Instead, it’s filled with tragedy, hurt, and pain. Physical, mental, and emotional pain. It just never leaves.
It has got so bad that I’ve lost all concentration and I have to work overtime just to pass tests. This uses all my energy I had and could’ve had. One thing that has to stay the same is my grades. Instead of getting high marks, now I am struggling to pass. If it isn’t bad enough, I can’t fail anything, otherwise people are going to figure out that who they think I am, I’m not.
Hell I don’t even know who I am anymore.
I used to be that person that was always playing sports, laughing and smiling. I enjoyed going to school and hanging out with my friends.
But now I’m lost.
I am the person that is always smiling, that always tries to organise times to hang out with their mates. But, the problem is that my smile is fake. And those plans for Saturday aren’t going to happen. They never do. And it’s not always my fault.
The people who I used to be able to turn to, have long gone.
I’m in someone-else’s body, surrounded by people that have no idea who I am.
The only problem with it is:
I don’t know who I am.
I’m lost.
With nowhere to turn.