City Lights
Chapter 1/1
“All I wanted was to be love. I just wanted to be held once in a while and be told I was loved, cared about, needed. But I never got it, I’ve just had too much of his shit. I can’t stand it any more. When this year is over I’m going to move away and make a clean start.” His heart shattered as he saw the love of his life sobbing bitterly onto his best friends shoulder. All he wanted to do was run over to him and hold him and kiss him and tell him just how desperately in love he was, but something held him back, something just wouldn’t let he tell the man he love the truth. He glanced round at the rest of the school, all happily minding their own business, nobody noticed the sobbing boy and his best friend.
“Karim, mate you’ve done more than enough to make him understand what he has to do. Now I know your darling Boyd isn’t the smartest person we know, but if he hasn’t twigged yet that you want open commitment then really he can’t be worth it.” Boyd bit his lips and turned away. He shouldn’t have been listening anyway. He had only come over because he darling Karim walking to the bushes with another boy. Boyd sighed. Was he really neglecting the man he loved more than anything? Karim though so. He chewed his lip as he walked away, he needed to come up with a plan to show Karim just how much he was loved and cherished and needed.
***
Karim sat alone in his bedroom, Boyd wasn’t answering his calls again. He sighed in frustration and through his phone hard against the wall. There was a loud thump and a black smudge on the wall where the phone had landed, but the phone remained in tact. Karim growled at it. How dare it still work, he wanted it to break to even if Boyd wanted to call him, he couldn’t. He wanted to be missed and needed. He wanted Boyd to have to show his devotion. If that bloody phone continued to work he knew, deep down, if Boyd called he would pick up instantly and beg for the affection he so desperately craved. Karim sighed again and flopped onto his bed face first. He buried his head in his pillow and screamed. Why couldn’t Boyd just he affectionate and romantic for once in his life.
“I wouldn’t want to change him, not forever.” Karim sighed as he turned onto his back. “I wouldn’t love him if suddenly became prince charming. But a little romance would be nice.” The phone buzzed from the floor. Karim leaped off his bed and picked it my. “Boyd?”
“Sorry, Karim. I’m not lover boy.”
“Oh well, silly of me to expect that you were. He never calls me you know. I always have to call him.” Karim sighed and tapped his fingers against his leg.
“Don’t worry about him Karim. If he doesn’t know what he’s missing then you can do so much better. What about that boy from the café down the road, he has a soft spot for you?”
“No” Karim sighed. “I couldn’t go out with anyone else, I love Boyd too much.” He sighed again before smiling at a small picture for Boyd on his bedside table. He sighed wistfully before wondering over to the window. “Why do you think he doesn’t love me? Have I done something wrong? Am I too needy?”
“Karim, if you were needy you would have left him months ago. You haven’t done anything wrong. He just doesn’t know how to treat someone he might care about.”
“He doesn’t care about me.” Karim said softly. “If he did I wouldn’t feel so lonely all the time.” There was a short pause. Karim sank down onto his bed and looked up at the ceiling.
“Have you ever thought that maybe, he doesn’t know how to treat you.” Karim blinked and made a noncommittal noise. “Maybe he hasn’t ever care about anyone before and simply doesn’t know what to do.” Karim sighed.
“Look David, I really appreciate what you are trying to do, but I’ve got to except that he just doesn’t love me.” There was another pause, while David tried to think of something else to say to cheer up his best friend. “I should go. Maybe a miracle will happen and he’ll call me.” David sighed at Karim’s words.
“Is that all you do all day? Wait for him to call you?”
“No. Sometimes I give up and call him first.” Karim spoke sadly before he hung up. He looked at the phone in his hand and sighed. Maybe, just maybe it would ring again.
***
Boyd paced up and down, he kicked the side of his bed and growled out a curse. It wasn’t normal. His darling Karim always called him. They had been out of school for over two hours and not even a hit of a call.
“What the fuck is he playing at? How can I tell him how much I love him if he doesn’t bloody call me first?” Boyd sighed in frustration as he sat down on his bed. He looked round his room and sighed sadly. It looked so empty, it felt so empty. The whitewashed walls and dark brown window shutters just seemed so plain. The carpet-less floor and the dusty shelves made him feel cold. Some how simply talking to Karim made the emptiness go away. He sighed and caressed the bed sheets. Karim had sat there, laid there, moaned as they made love there. Boyd smiled and buried his face in his pillow. It smelt so wonderful, exactly like Karim. Tears began to leek from Boyd’s eyes. Why hadn’t Karim called? Was he hurt or ill or angry with him? Boyd gasped in desperation before collapsing into bitter sobs. Didn’t the foolish boy know how desperately Boyd needed him? How much it hurt when they weren’t together? No, Boyd realised. That was why Karim, his beautiful, precious, darling Karim had been crying at school earlier that day. Boyd sat up and brushed his tears away. He reached into his bedside draw and pulled out a small black box. He caressed the smooth box lovingly before he opened it. Inside on a bed of violet silk was a small but perfect gold band, nothing flashy, with the words ‘I love you’ engraved on the inside. Boyd smiled as he stroked the small ring. He could imagine the little ring resting on Karim’s finger, only the two of them knowing the words it hid. He could picture kissing the beautiful man he loved so much, as they stood in front of all their friends and family declaring their eternal love. He sighed. Boyd smiled and slipped the ring into his pocket as he left the room in a hurry.
***
Karim sighed in defeat. If Boyd really loved him then he would have called. He looked out of the window as he closed his light blue shutters, it was getting dark already. He dipped his head to his chest as he curled up on his bed still fully clothed. He fought against the tears but they came anyway. Boyd didn’t love him. In his misery he heard the sound of something hitting his shutters. He sat up slowly. There it was again. Slowly he opened the pail shuttered and looked out. There not far below his window was Boyd. He smiled up at Karim.
“Come down Kay. I’ve got a surprise.” Karim pulled his head in from the window and padded down the stairs. He slid his shoes on and walked outside.
“What is it?” He asked softly as he walked closer to his lover. Boy held out his hand for Karim to take. Tentatively Karim grasped Boyd’s fingers. They walked in silence, hand in hand, up the winding path to the high cliffs above the city. “Boyd where are we going?” Karim asked after a while.
“Not far now.” Boyd smiled as they rounded a corner. There hidden from the main path was a small blanket was laid out on a rocky outcrop, there was a small basket placed in the center of the blanket and a single daisy on top of that. Karim let out a breath and gripped Boyd’s hand tighter as he was led towards the blanket. They sat down close together. Boyd wrapped his arms round Karim as they sat in silence just looking out at the sunset. “It’s not much, but…”
“It’s perfect. What’s in the basket?” Boyd smiled and took the lid off. He handed Karim the daisy before he revealed the small pile of food.
“I would have brought Champaign but, well the picnic is on top of a cliff.” Karim laughed softly, and snuggled closer to Boyd.
“Water is just fine. I want to remember tonight.” Boyd smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Karim’s head.
“Kay?”
“Umm.” Karim turned to look at the other man.
“I know that I don’t show my love very well, but I really do love you, so much.” Boyd shifted so he was kneeling in front of his lover. “And I want you to always remember it.” He reached for his pocket. “So.” He took out the small box and opened it. “Karim, will you marry me?” Karim stared at the small gold band through tear-filled eyes. He reached out a shaking hand and picked up the cold metal band. He turned it over in his hand, a distant smiled on his lips. His eyes overflowed as he read the inscription. He nodded and looked back at Boyd who was waiting with bated breath.
“Yes, Yes, of cause I’ll marry you.” Karim whispered. Boyd let out a relieved laugh and slid the ring onto his fiancé’s finger. The two men kissed tenderly.
***
As the night passed the two lovers sat in each others arms, occasionally talking about nothing. Karim felt himself beginning to fall asleep, he picked up his glass of water and felt it slip through his fingers. As the cold water soaked through his top he jumped violently and began to shiver. All thoughts of sleep gone. Boyd slid his hands under Karim’s top and lifted it off over his head.
“Come here.” Boyd whispered as he placed Karim’s top on the other side of the blanket to dry out. He wound his arms round Karim’s small waist and pulled him down so they were both laying on the blanket. Karim curled up on Boyd’s chest and pressed a soft kiss to it through Boyd’s shirt. Boyd moaned and moved his hands up Karim’s back, Karim moved up Boyd’s chest and kissed his neck and his jaw and his cheek ad finally his lips. Boyd gasped as their lips touched, he pulled Karim closer to him his hands franticly trying to touch every part of Karim’s body at once. They moaned into each others mouths, before Karim pulled away.
“I love you.” Boyd smiled and kissed his lover once again. Karim curled into Boyd’s embrace and drifted off to sleep, the small gold band shining on the moonlight. Boyd looked out of over the city far below them, the lights from the windows winked at him. Telling him to go to sleep. Telling him that he was safe and loved and getting married. He sighed and closed his eyes.
***
Boyd woke slowly as the sun rose above the city skyline. He smiled as he looked down at his beautiful fiancé still fast asleep on his chest. He smiled at the gold band on his finger and sighed in contentment. Karim woke and blinked up at Boyd.
“Good morning love.” He whispered sleepily. “Do you think my shirt is dry yet?”
“God morning.” Boyd sat up slowly, Karim curled round so his head was resting on Boyd’s lap. “Yes your shirt is dry darling.”
“Good.”
“Karim, mate you’ve done more than enough to make him understand what he has to do. Now I know your darling Boyd isn’t the smartest person we know, but if he hasn’t twigged yet that you want open commitment then really he can’t be worth it.” Boyd bit his lips and turned away. He shouldn’t have been listening anyway. He had only come over because he darling Karim walking to the bushes with another boy. Boyd sighed. Was he really neglecting the man he loved more than anything? Karim though so. He chewed his lip as he walked away, he needed to come up with a plan to show Karim just how much he was loved and cherished and needed.
***
Karim sat alone in his bedroom, Boyd wasn’t answering his calls again. He sighed in frustration and through his phone hard against the wall. There was a loud thump and a black smudge on the wall where the phone had landed, but the phone remained in tact. Karim growled at it. How dare it still work, he wanted it to break to even if Boyd wanted to call him, he couldn’t. He wanted to be missed and needed. He wanted Boyd to have to show his devotion. If that bloody phone continued to work he knew, deep down, if Boyd called he would pick up instantly and beg for the affection he so desperately craved. Karim sighed again and flopped onto his bed face first. He buried his head in his pillow and screamed. Why couldn’t Boyd just he affectionate and romantic for once in his life.
“I wouldn’t want to change him, not forever.” Karim sighed as he turned onto his back. “I wouldn’t love him if suddenly became prince charming. But a little romance would be nice.” The phone buzzed from the floor. Karim leaped off his bed and picked it my. “Boyd?”
“Sorry, Karim. I’m not lover boy.”
“Oh well, silly of me to expect that you were. He never calls me you know. I always have to call him.” Karim sighed and tapped his fingers against his leg.
“Don’t worry about him Karim. If he doesn’t know what he’s missing then you can do so much better. What about that boy from the café down the road, he has a soft spot for you?”
“No” Karim sighed. “I couldn’t go out with anyone else, I love Boyd too much.” He sighed again before smiling at a small picture for Boyd on his bedside table. He sighed wistfully before wondering over to the window. “Why do you think he doesn’t love me? Have I done something wrong? Am I too needy?”
“Karim, if you were needy you would have left him months ago. You haven’t done anything wrong. He just doesn’t know how to treat someone he might care about.”
“He doesn’t care about me.” Karim said softly. “If he did I wouldn’t feel so lonely all the time.” There was a short pause. Karim sank down onto his bed and looked up at the ceiling.
“Have you ever thought that maybe, he doesn’t know how to treat you.” Karim blinked and made a noncommittal noise. “Maybe he hasn’t ever care about anyone before and simply doesn’t know what to do.” Karim sighed.
“Look David, I really appreciate what you are trying to do, but I’ve got to except that he just doesn’t love me.” There was another pause, while David tried to think of something else to say to cheer up his best friend. “I should go. Maybe a miracle will happen and he’ll call me.” David sighed at Karim’s words.
“Is that all you do all day? Wait for him to call you?”
“No. Sometimes I give up and call him first.” Karim spoke sadly before he hung up. He looked at the phone in his hand and sighed. Maybe, just maybe it would ring again.
***
Boyd paced up and down, he kicked the side of his bed and growled out a curse. It wasn’t normal. His darling Karim always called him. They had been out of school for over two hours and not even a hit of a call.
“What the fuck is he playing at? How can I tell him how much I love him if he doesn’t bloody call me first?” Boyd sighed in frustration as he sat down on his bed. He looked round his room and sighed sadly. It looked so empty, it felt so empty. The whitewashed walls and dark brown window shutters just seemed so plain. The carpet-less floor and the dusty shelves made him feel cold. Some how simply talking to Karim made the emptiness go away. He sighed and caressed the bed sheets. Karim had sat there, laid there, moaned as they made love there. Boyd smiled and buried his face in his pillow. It smelt so wonderful, exactly like Karim. Tears began to leek from Boyd’s eyes. Why hadn’t Karim called? Was he hurt or ill or angry with him? Boyd gasped in desperation before collapsing into bitter sobs. Didn’t the foolish boy know how desperately Boyd needed him? How much it hurt when they weren’t together? No, Boyd realised. That was why Karim, his beautiful, precious, darling Karim had been crying at school earlier that day. Boyd sat up and brushed his tears away. He reached into his bedside draw and pulled out a small black box. He caressed the smooth box lovingly before he opened it. Inside on a bed of violet silk was a small but perfect gold band, nothing flashy, with the words ‘I love you’ engraved on the inside. Boyd smiled as he stroked the small ring. He could imagine the little ring resting on Karim’s finger, only the two of them knowing the words it hid. He could picture kissing the beautiful man he loved so much, as they stood in front of all their friends and family declaring their eternal love. He sighed. Boyd smiled and slipped the ring into his pocket as he left the room in a hurry.
***
Karim sighed in defeat. If Boyd really loved him then he would have called. He looked out of the window as he closed his light blue shutters, it was getting dark already. He dipped his head to his chest as he curled up on his bed still fully clothed. He fought against the tears but they came anyway. Boyd didn’t love him. In his misery he heard the sound of something hitting his shutters. He sat up slowly. There it was again. Slowly he opened the pail shuttered and looked out. There not far below his window was Boyd. He smiled up at Karim.
“Come down Kay. I’ve got a surprise.” Karim pulled his head in from the window and padded down the stairs. He slid his shoes on and walked outside.
“What is it?” He asked softly as he walked closer to his lover. Boy held out his hand for Karim to take. Tentatively Karim grasped Boyd’s fingers. They walked in silence, hand in hand, up the winding path to the high cliffs above the city. “Boyd where are we going?” Karim asked after a while.
“Not far now.” Boyd smiled as they rounded a corner. There hidden from the main path was a small blanket was laid out on a rocky outcrop, there was a small basket placed in the center of the blanket and a single daisy on top of that. Karim let out a breath and gripped Boyd’s hand tighter as he was led towards the blanket. They sat down close together. Boyd wrapped his arms round Karim as they sat in silence just looking out at the sunset. “It’s not much, but…”
“It’s perfect. What’s in the basket?” Boyd smiled and took the lid off. He handed Karim the daisy before he revealed the small pile of food.
“I would have brought Champaign but, well the picnic is on top of a cliff.” Karim laughed softly, and snuggled closer to Boyd.
“Water is just fine. I want to remember tonight.” Boyd smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Karim’s head.
“Kay?”
“Umm.” Karim turned to look at the other man.
“I know that I don’t show my love very well, but I really do love you, so much.” Boyd shifted so he was kneeling in front of his lover. “And I want you to always remember it.” He reached for his pocket. “So.” He took out the small box and opened it. “Karim, will you marry me?” Karim stared at the small gold band through tear-filled eyes. He reached out a shaking hand and picked up the cold metal band. He turned it over in his hand, a distant smiled on his lips. His eyes overflowed as he read the inscription. He nodded and looked back at Boyd who was waiting with bated breath.
“Yes, Yes, of cause I’ll marry you.” Karim whispered. Boyd let out a relieved laugh and slid the ring onto his fiancé’s finger. The two men kissed tenderly.
***
As the night passed the two lovers sat in each others arms, occasionally talking about nothing. Karim felt himself beginning to fall asleep, he picked up his glass of water and felt it slip through his fingers. As the cold water soaked through his top he jumped violently and began to shiver. All thoughts of sleep gone. Boyd slid his hands under Karim’s top and lifted it off over his head.
“Come here.” Boyd whispered as he placed Karim’s top on the other side of the blanket to dry out. He wound his arms round Karim’s small waist and pulled him down so they were both laying on the blanket. Karim curled up on Boyd’s chest and pressed a soft kiss to it through Boyd’s shirt. Boyd moaned and moved his hands up Karim’s back, Karim moved up Boyd’s chest and kissed his neck and his jaw and his cheek ad finally his lips. Boyd gasped as their lips touched, he pulled Karim closer to him his hands franticly trying to touch every part of Karim’s body at once. They moaned into each others mouths, before Karim pulled away.
“I love you.” Boyd smiled and kissed his lover once again. Karim curled into Boyd’s embrace and drifted off to sleep, the small gold band shining on the moonlight. Boyd looked out of over the city far below them, the lights from the windows winked at him. Telling him to go to sleep. Telling him that he was safe and loved and getting married. He sighed and closed his eyes.
***
Boyd woke slowly as the sun rose above the city skyline. He smiled as he looked down at his beautiful fiancé still fast asleep on his chest. He smiled at the gold band on his finger and sighed in contentment. Karim woke and blinked up at Boyd.
“Good morning love.” He whispered sleepily. “Do you think my shirt is dry yet?”
“God morning.” Boyd sat up slowly, Karim curled round so his head was resting on Boyd’s lap. “Yes your shirt is dry darling.”
“Good.”
♠ ♠ ♠
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