The Flargle!
Toronto, December of 2012
"I got it!" yelled Jesus triumphantly as his lightning bolt hit the Flargle in one of his laser eye beams, "He has been wounded!"
"MA-NANA!" moaned the Flargle in evident pain; he flapped his arms weakly, then got back into a fight stance, "Ma!" It continued to crush buildings and cars.
Fabio put his hands on his hips; he sighed angrily, "Well, what is it? It is ugly. Not like me. Is it a chicken beast?"
The Flargle stopped his destruction; he shook his head in confusion. He squatted down and laid a big, green egg. The egg began to crack and out popped a miniature octopus child.
"Ha!" cried Fabio, pointing to the egg, "It is a chicken!"
"Your stupidity never ceases to amaze Chuck," and Chuck kicked the octopus child into the air, which floated away using its tentacles as propellers screaming 'wee!' It then combusted in the air because an octopus alone cannot breathe outside of the water.
The Terminator pointed his gun at the Flargle, "Who created this monstrosity? I will terminate him!"
A wee little man stepped out from behind the Flargle while cackling. The little man was wearing a pink-jumpsuit with sparkles. He had butterfly shaped sunglasses, an Elvis haircut, and pink hoop earrings. The man had Elvis standing behind him on a leash. Elvis looked pitiful; the little man made him sing against his will. The man began to do a shuffle dance in front of the fabulous four.
Jesus bravely walked up to the strange man, "Who are you?"
The man froze his dancing, "Who am I, you ask? Wait--who am I?" He seemed seriously unsure of his own identity; he suavely removed his sunglasses, "Oh yes. I am Jill."
Fabio had another epiphany; he was on a roll, "You're not Jill! You're that evil dictator Kim Jong Il from that one country--Pizzeria!"
Chuck sighed, "Why am I even in this group? He's clearly from North Korea, moron!"
"I was hinting at that!" said Fabio trying miserably to defend himself, "I was just testing you again." He smiled at Chuck.
Jesus was furious and he punched Jill in the face; Jill screamed like a girl, "WHY YOU PUNCH ME?! I AM JILL!"
Jesus glowered over him, "You are nothing more than a freak . . . a murderer. And you created that beast to take over the world because you failed to control your own country, in the end?"
"Well," admitted Jill, "Yes. Technically that's all true. HOWEVER, I got Elvis first, but whatever!"
Chuck was angry, "You're nothing more than a weak little fetus in a whore's womb. Chuck punch!"
Jill dodged the punch; he gazed off into the blue winter sky, "I am not a weak man!" He put his hand over his chest, "The day I was born was an epic day for all mankind. You could say I was like the second coming of Christ . . . only I am not Christ, I am Jill!" He then pointed to Jesus digressing, "I guess he would be Christ. Anyway, moving along with my story. I was born on a cold winter day, much like today on February 16 in some year long ago. But then again, I've lived forever, so I was not born. But on that day I was born, a double rainbow appeared over the mountain and a new star formed in the skies and that star was me. Since that day, it has been my dream to rule the world. Recently, I created the Flargle here to help me destroy cities and make their leaders submit to yours truly--Jill."
Chuck shook his head, "You lie, fool. Surely you can't be ruler of the world, unless you've ridden a bison."
Jill looked assertive, "I am an expert bison rider!"
"Really? When have you ridden one?" inquired Chuck.
"Never!" laughed Jill, "I am an expert by existence. And what are you? Silly white karate boy can't defeat my skill!"
Chuck snapped his fingers; the Terminator walked smoothly over to Jill and lifted him up. He glared into the tiny man's eyes, "Hasta la vista, baby." He hurled Jill 5.9 billion miles away to the rejected, emo planet of Pluto.
"AH!" screamed Jill, "but I hate flying! It makes me vomit! Lucy?! Elvis?! Save me!" He was gone.
Jesus put his arm around Elvis and hugged him, "You are free, brother. Go in the peace of the Lord."
Elvis' leash had been removed, "The King of Rock is free!" He craved a peanut butter and banana sandwich.
The Flargle was baffled with his master gone. He had no sense of direction; he accidentally stepped on the newly freed Elvis. ☹ The fabulous four knew that they had to do something about the Flargle. Although it had ceased to function properly, it was still a menace to all of society.
Fabio stepped up to the Flargle, "Let me handle this." He let out his thick, wild hair and wrapped it around the octopus head of the Flargle. Within seconds, the head popped right off. The beast collapsed, defeated; the octopus flew threw the air and cried, "WAWAWAWAWAWAWA-FREE!" as it flew away and landed in Niagara Falls.
A double rainbow appeared in the sky; peace returned to the city. The fabulous four all jumped up in midair. They all high-fived each other except for Chuck who hated any kind of sentimental moment. The clan of warriors soon disbanded after their encounter with the Flargle because of the disputes between Chuck and Fabio. It didn't matter, though. The world had survived 2012; Jill was gone. There was no need for warriors for the time being. However, they made a pact that whenever the next big disaster occurred, the fabulous four would return. They would be there.
The End!!!
"MA-NANA!" moaned the Flargle in evident pain; he flapped his arms weakly, then got back into a fight stance, "Ma!" It continued to crush buildings and cars.
Fabio put his hands on his hips; he sighed angrily, "Well, what is it? It is ugly. Not like me. Is it a chicken beast?"
The Flargle stopped his destruction; he shook his head in confusion. He squatted down and laid a big, green egg. The egg began to crack and out popped a miniature octopus child.
"Ha!" cried Fabio, pointing to the egg, "It is a chicken!"
"Your stupidity never ceases to amaze Chuck," and Chuck kicked the octopus child into the air, which floated away using its tentacles as propellers screaming 'wee!' It then combusted in the air because an octopus alone cannot breathe outside of the water.
The Terminator pointed his gun at the Flargle, "Who created this monstrosity? I will terminate him!"
A wee little man stepped out from behind the Flargle while cackling. The little man was wearing a pink-jumpsuit with sparkles. He had butterfly shaped sunglasses, an Elvis haircut, and pink hoop earrings. The man had Elvis standing behind him on a leash. Elvis looked pitiful; the little man made him sing against his will. The man began to do a shuffle dance in front of the fabulous four.
Jesus bravely walked up to the strange man, "Who are you?"
The man froze his dancing, "Who am I, you ask? Wait--who am I?" He seemed seriously unsure of his own identity; he suavely removed his sunglasses, "Oh yes. I am Jill."
Fabio had another epiphany; he was on a roll, "You're not Jill! You're that evil dictator Kim Jong Il from that one country--Pizzeria!"
Chuck sighed, "Why am I even in this group? He's clearly from North Korea, moron!"
"I was hinting at that!" said Fabio trying miserably to defend himself, "I was just testing you again." He smiled at Chuck.
Jesus was furious and he punched Jill in the face; Jill screamed like a girl, "WHY YOU PUNCH ME?! I AM JILL!"
Jesus glowered over him, "You are nothing more than a freak . . . a murderer. And you created that beast to take over the world because you failed to control your own country, in the end?"
"Well," admitted Jill, "Yes. Technically that's all true. HOWEVER, I got Elvis first, but whatever!"
Chuck was angry, "You're nothing more than a weak little fetus in a whore's womb. Chuck punch!"
Jill dodged the punch; he gazed off into the blue winter sky, "I am not a weak man!" He put his hand over his chest, "The day I was born was an epic day for all mankind. You could say I was like the second coming of Christ . . . only I am not Christ, I am Jill!" He then pointed to Jesus digressing, "I guess he would be Christ. Anyway, moving along with my story. I was born on a cold winter day, much like today on February 16 in some year long ago. But then again, I've lived forever, so I was not born. But on that day I was born, a double rainbow appeared over the mountain and a new star formed in the skies and that star was me. Since that day, it has been my dream to rule the world. Recently, I created the Flargle here to help me destroy cities and make their leaders submit to yours truly--Jill."
Chuck shook his head, "You lie, fool. Surely you can't be ruler of the world, unless you've ridden a bison."
Jill looked assertive, "I am an expert bison rider!"
"Really? When have you ridden one?" inquired Chuck.
"Never!" laughed Jill, "I am an expert by existence. And what are you? Silly white karate boy can't defeat my skill!"
Chuck snapped his fingers; the Terminator walked smoothly over to Jill and lifted him up. He glared into the tiny man's eyes, "Hasta la vista, baby." He hurled Jill 5.9 billion miles away to the rejected, emo planet of Pluto.
"AH!" screamed Jill, "but I hate flying! It makes me vomit! Lucy?! Elvis?! Save me!" He was gone.
Jesus put his arm around Elvis and hugged him, "You are free, brother. Go in the peace of the Lord."
Elvis' leash had been removed, "The King of Rock is free!" He craved a peanut butter and banana sandwich.
The Flargle was baffled with his master gone. He had no sense of direction; he accidentally stepped on the newly freed Elvis. ☹ The fabulous four knew that they had to do something about the Flargle. Although it had ceased to function properly, it was still a menace to all of society.
Fabio stepped up to the Flargle, "Let me handle this." He let out his thick, wild hair and wrapped it around the octopus head of the Flargle. Within seconds, the head popped right off. The beast collapsed, defeated; the octopus flew threw the air and cried, "WAWAWAWAWAWAWA-FREE!" as it flew away and landed in Niagara Falls.
A double rainbow appeared in the sky; peace returned to the city. The fabulous four all jumped up in midair. They all high-fived each other except for Chuck who hated any kind of sentimental moment. The clan of warriors soon disbanded after their encounter with the Flargle because of the disputes between Chuck and Fabio. It didn't matter, though. The world had survived 2012; Jill was gone. There was no need for warriors for the time being. However, they made a pact that whenever the next big disaster occurred, the fabulous four would return. They would be there.
The End!!!