All Figured Out

Alex didn't know what to think of the situation that had been played out before him.

Jack had said that Zack wanted to 'attack him to the ground', which could only mean on thing; Zack was lusting after him.

Alex was angry, he was pissed even.

Zack shouldn't be lusting for him. Hell, he just realized that the both of them were gay, and now one of his best friends wanted to fuck him senseless.

"Well," Jack said, hopping off the counter, "This is awkward."

Alex snarled, taking his body off the wall, "Shut up Jack." he spat.

Jack looked at his best friend wide eyed.
"What the fuck is your problem?" He asked.

Alex rolled his eyes dramatically, "Everything."

Zack was standing behind Rian, hiding himself from Alex's view.
He wanted to avoid the cold stare that Alex would give him if his hazel eyes 'accidentally' made contact with the singers brown ones.

There was no doubt in Zack's mind that Alex heard Jack's baby making comment, and that gave him reason to believe that's why Alex was acting the way he was.

"Zack said you were fine last night." Rian stated, moving slightly so Zack was in view.

"Of course Zack said that. Why wouldn't he?" Alex proved Zack right by forcing a dark glare at him.

"I just came over to give you this," Alex placed Zack's cell phone on the counter next to him, "The fag left it in my room last night."
The word Alex used made Zack cringe. His stomach churned a few hundred times and he felt the vomit crawling up his throat.
Running into the bathroom, he threw up the toilet seat and emptied the contents of his stomach.
The force of his vomit coming out his throat made his head slam forward, making contact with the rim of the toilet. He reached up to hold his head as more vomit made it's way out of his mouth.
His head was aching, and that last thing he heard before everything went black was Alex laughing.

~~~~~
"Zack? Can you hear me?"

Zack could feel something soft and wet on his forehead, and he opened his eyes, instantly shutting them due to the blinding light coming from the window.

"Can you hear me dude?"
Zack groaned in response to Rian's question, bringing his hand up to remove the washcloth from his forehead.

"What did I do?" Zack asked, sitting up in the hotel bed.

"You don't remember hitting your head on the toilet?"

"Oh, right." Zack blushed in embarrassment, squinting into the light.

"I hate to burst your bubble, but we have to head to the airport soon, so put these on." Rian tossed Zack a pair of skinny jeans and grabbed his own suitcase off his bed.

Zack shoved his phone and wallet into his pockets and grabbed his own suitcase, following Rian to the elevator.

"What happened this morning?" Rian asked once they were in the elevator.

Zack sighed, "He kicked me out. I don't know why." His voice was quiet, but he knew Rian heard him.

Once in the lobby, they noticed Jack was alone.

"Where's Alex?' Rian asked, confusion taking over his scruffy face.

"In the van already. He's still pissy. He's on his period, I swear."

Jack placed a hand on Zack's shoulder, "You can take shotgun this time. I'll sit next to Lex."

Zack smiled at Jack, whispering a thank you before following his band mates out to the van.

I can't do this, Zack thought.

~~~~~

They'd gone through security rather quickly, the only catch being they had to wait for their flight for 2 hours.

Zack was attempting to get some sleep on the floor, as far away from the guys as possible, while Alex was writing away on a random candy wrapper he'd found.

Zack knew he'd gotten an idea for a song. Probably something about how much he hated the bass player.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Zack looked up from his hands to look at Vinny Vegas, who'd taken a seat beside him.

Zack sighed, "It's a long story Vin."

Vinny smiled at him, "We've got an hour."

Knowing he could trust Vinny, Zack sighed once again and launched into his story.

~~~~~

"So let me get this straight," Vinny said, listing the things on his fingers, "You're gay?"

Zack nodded once.

"You're in love with," He whispered the name, "Alex?"

Zack nodded again.

"He was all cuddly and shit with you this morning, and then he kicked you out of his room?"

Zack nodded one last time, "Yeah that's it."

"And no one knows why he kicked you out?"

"Yup."

Zack sighed loudly, looking down at his hands again.

"Get drunk, you'll feel better."

Zack laughed at Vinny's comment, "No, that makes you feel better."

Vinny shook his head, "It makes other people feel better because I talk to JD bottles."

Zack laughed again, and turned his head to the airport after sensing someone was watching him.

He spotted Alex looking at him, with a somewhat sad look in his eyes.
Zack was confused to say the least; He felt like Alex was fucking with his mind and he didn't like it one bit.
One minute Alex was sweet and talkative, and the next he was bashing Zack and could do nothing but call him names.

Suddenly Alex was glaring at him again, his eyes were narrowed and his lips were in a flat line. His knuckles were turning white from gripping the pen he held too hard. And then he flipped Zack off, looking back down at the wrapper in his other hand.

~~~~~

Zack slept the whole plane ride to Jakarta, as did Rian who was seated beside him.
They had the rest of the day off and Zack took that as an opportunity to take his camera and get some fresh air.

"Where are 'ya goin?" Rian asked him.

"Out." His voice didn't show any emotion, and he didn't look at the drummer when he spoke.

Shutting the hotel door behind him, he walked down the hall, his arms at his sides, his camera in hand.

He heard another door open and close, but paid no attention to it, and instead went on with pushing the down button on the elevator repeatedly, having no patience.
He felt a tap on his shoulder, and as he turned around to ask what the person wanted, he instantly felt his body fill with anger.

"What the hell do you want?" He glared at Alex, much like man had been doing to him all day.

"To say sorry." Alex wasn't looking at him, and for that Zack was grateful.

"Well good for you. Too bad I don't care." Zack stepped into the elevator, quickly pushing the button for the lobby.
The door didn't close fast enough for Zack's liking.

"I know I was a total jerk this morning and I'm sorry."

"Look Alex, you weren't just a jerk, you were a douche, and I don't give a shit that you're sorry." He continued to glare at Alex, who replied with a sad look.

"Can we talk?" He fixed the beanie that was sitting on his head comfortably and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"No." The elevator buzzed and Zack stepped out, hoping that Alex wouldn't follow him.

"Please. Zack I'm begging you." Alex followed Zack out the door, knowing that he was being annoying, but wasn't about to give up now.

"Fuck off Alex!" Zack turned around and screamed at him, his face only inches away from the singers.

Alex's lip began to tremble and he felt tears in his eyes. Yet he couldn't cry. Not in front of Zack. He didn't want to let his guard down and make Zack think bad of him.

"Zack please..." He pleaded, following Zack on to the street.

He sighed, "Not right now Alex," he said calmly, "Later okay?"

Alex nodded, "Okay."

Alex watched Zack turn around and walk away from him, down the street and in the direction of the venue they'd be playing at the next day.

Zack would be lying if he said he didn't feel bad for yelling at Alex. The look on Alex's face was enough to make his heart break.
But he knew he couldn't give in to Alex that easy. If he did, then Alex would just think every time he got angry with Zack he could say sorry a few hundred times and everything would be okay. As much as he wanted to forgive Alex for what had happened, he knew that wouldn't fix anything.
He was more then confused about this morning; He had found Alex cuddled into his side, and was happy with that. Yet he couldn't figure out what made Alex so mad. One minute, he was smiling with bright eyes, and the next he was angry and yelling at him to leave.
He'd even had the guts to come into the room Zack was in with Jack and Rian and called him a fag. Just the thought of it made Zack sick.

His photography always seemed to have a strange calming effect on him and he knew the longer he was outside doing so, the easier it would be to talk with Alex later.

It had been a few hours, and Zack was happy with himself again.
He was currently sitting on a bench in a park he'd found and made note that he should walk back to the hotel soon.
That's when he remembered he'd told Alex they could talk, and he was no where near ready for that.
Checking his phone, he realized it was 7pm and no one had bothered to call him yet.

Zack stood up from the bench with a sigh, slowly making his way back toward the hotel.

~~~~~

"He's still alive!" The moment Zack entered the hallway were their rooms were located, he was tackled to the ground by Jack, almost sending his camera flying.

"Uhm, yes?" It sounded more like a question to Jack then a statement.

"We were just wondering when you were coming back. Wanna go get dinner with us?" Jack got off of Zack to help him off the ground.

"No, I think I'll just get room service or something." Zack said, sliding his card into the door to unlock it.

"Oh, okay. We'll be back in a few hours then." Jack left down the hallway to catch up with the rest of the guys in the lobby, leaving Zack to smile in satisfaction that he'd probably gotten rid of Alex for the night.

After shutting the door behind him, he set his camera on top of his suitcase and kicked off his Vans.

He laid down on the bed, putting his hands under his head and sighing in content.
Just as he'd gotten comfortable, there was a knock at the door.

Groaning in frustration, he got up and trudged to the door.

Opening it, he frowned.

"Can we talk now?" Alex whispered.

Zack backed up and opened the door wider, allowing Alex to step inside.

"I guess." He sighed, leading Alex into the room.

Alex sat down on Zack's bed, pulling the candy wrapper from earlier out of his pocket.

"Uhm, so first of all I'm really sorry about this morning."

Zack sat down on the opposite bed, curling his legs under him.

"That doesn't fix anything Alex," he said, "You didn't give me a reason as to why you did it in the first place."

Alex frowned, fiddling with his hands, "Y-yeah I know. It's just, when I said I was having an issue..."

"You don't want to tell me?" Zack asked.

"Well, no I do. But it's just...It's hard."

Zack groaned, throwing himself back on the bed.

"I'm sorry Zacky..." Alex whispered.

The name made Zack's heart swell, and he felt bad that Alex was so sad at that moment.

"Don't be sorry Lex. You're scared, that's fine."

"How long did it take you to tell people about being gay?" He said it fast, almost like he didn't want to say it at all.

The realization hit Zack; Alex was gay. Why else would he be so curious about Zack's coming out? There was no other reason for Alex to ask so many questions. No one else he told had asked a question other then 'How long?' and here Alex was, asking Zack when and how he came out about his orientation.

"A few years. I didn't think I really was gay. And then that night those two gay kids came to a meet and greet I realized that I was."

Alex's jaw dropped. That night Alex had started to think about being gay, and at the same time Zack had realized he was gay.

"Really?"

"Uhm, yes. Didn't we go over this?" Zack said, slightly annoyed.

"Well yeah, it's just," Alex sighed loudly, pulling at his hair in the process, "That's the night I thought about...About being gay."

Zack sat up in the bed, putting his arms on the edge of the bed and putting all his weight on his arms to lean forward.

"You're serious?" He asked the older man, who was still looking down at his hands.

"Y-yeah." He stuttered out, a single tear trailing down his cheek from his eye.

"It's okay Lexi, to think about being gay, I mean." He offered a smile to his friend, even though he knew he probably wouldn't look up at him, so instead he got off his bed to sit beside Alex.

Alex moved toward the middle of the bed and folded his legs under him, his mouth open slightly and his lip trembling, tears streaming down his face.

When he looked at the bass player, Zack's heart broke for what seemed like the millionth time in the past two days.
"Lex?" Zack asked him, moving closer to his friend.

"I-I know that Z, it-it's just that was the s-same day..." He trailed off, crying harder.

Slowly, Zack grabbed his friend by the shoulders, and when he was sure Alex wouldn't push him away, he pulled him into his arms and rested the singers head on his chest and let him cry.

"It's okay Lexi," he rubbed circles into his back, trying to calm him down.

Alex let out a loud sob, making Zack jump slightly. Alex had a tight hold of Zack's shirt, and if anyone were to walk in at that moment they'd think Alex looked like a small child curled in Zack's lap.

"What is it you're afraid of?" Zack whispered, putting his cheek on the top of Alex's head.

"I-I'm," he let out another sob, burying his face into Zack's chest.

Zack continued rubbing small circles on Alex's back, hoping that he'd calm down soon.

"Gay." he whispered the answer, hoping Zack had heard him so he didn't have to repeat it.

Zack couldn't help but smile slightly at the thought that he may have a chance with Alex after all.

"It's okay Alex."

Alex pushed his head off Zack's chest, but kept himself curled in his lap.

"How can you say it's okay? I'm disgusting!"

Zack looked at him sadly, brushing his hair out of his face, "You're anything but." He whispered.

Alex looked down at where his hands were gripping Zack's shirt, and back up at his friend.

"It's okay to be gay Lexi. I am too, remember that."

Alex took a deep, shaky breath, "Thank you." he said, wrapping his arms around Zack's torso.

"You're welcome," Zack told him, hugging his friend back.

The two friends sat in silence for a few minutes, savoring the moment.

"Zack?" Alex asked suddenly, making Zack snap his eyes open.

"Mmm?" he said, hoping it would be another 'thank you' so he could attempt to fall asleep again.

"C-can I uhm, try something?"

Zack sat up, taking Alex with him. His heart pounded in his chest and he was sure that Alex could hear it.

Alex bit his lip, and leaned up slowly, to slow for Zack's liking.

Alex heard Zack's breath hitch, and that alone made him smile. His heart pounded against his chest and he thought that if it beat any faster it would hop out of his throat.
He could feel the bassists breath on his lips and he knew this is exactly what he wanted to do.

Zack met him halfway, placing his lips on Alex's lightly.
Alex smiled, enjoying the feel of Zack's lips on his and pushed himself up higher, swinging his legs around Zack's so he was straddling him.
He wrapped his arms around Zack's neck, and felt Zack wrap his arms around his waist.

He pushed his lips to the younger boys harder, smiling when he heard Zack moan quietly.
Alex tangled his fingers in Zack's dark blonde hair and smiled when he felt Zack's tongue across his bottom lip, and couldn't help but get a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach, much like that morning when he realized he might have had feelings for the younger boy.
Allowing Zack entrance to his mouth, he heard a door open, but that didn't stop him from pushing Zack down on the bed and letting him explore his mouth.

Zack ran his hands up and down Alex's sides, moving his tongue around the singers mouth.
He'd finally gotten the one thing he'd been dreaming about, and he felt like he was going to explode with happiness.

"Shit. Jack! I'm staying in your room tonight! They're having sex on my bed!"
Alex laughed as he pulled his mouth away from Zack's, hearing the hotel room door slam behind the drummer.

Zack smiled up at Alex, blushing a deep red.

"Uhm," Alex looked down at the position he was in, still straddling Zack, "sorry." He whispered, moving to get off him.

Zack kept his grip on Alex's hips, not about to let him get up.

"No, don't be sorry. You have no reason to be."