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Untitled Album
Weightless
I’ll admit, I hadn’t even thought about stopping at the cemetery. We had all went last year. Jade, Jace, Alex, Erik, Rian, Adrian, Connor, me and Bria, Jade’s oldest sister, Had all been there. Standing around that year old headstone, tears pouring down our solemn faces.
I remembered that day, so similar to now. Except this time it was only Connor and myself. I just put my arms around his waist, and we stood like that for a while, until our eyes had ran dry. Before we headed back for the car we reread the headstone.
James Riley Stokes
July 11, 1992 - August 23, 2008
He will be missed
Turning around Connor grabbed my hand and gave me a tight hug.
“Thanks Rue,” he said quietly.
“For what?” I asked in reply.
“Coming here with me, holding my hand through everything, staying with me even though I’m broken, caring, being yourself, not pulling a Sunday.“ he said making a reference to the song Remembering Sunday. “I guess, just, Loving me and letting me love you.” he finished sighing.
I was shocked at that last part, Connor and I hadn’t said that we loved each other yet. We were both extremely wary of saying it. Me, because, when I was 3 my dad told my mom that he was going to a friends house to watch the game. After telling he this she had replied ‘Ok, have fun. Love you,’ him just kissing her cheek and leaving. Three hours after the game should have ended my mom had called the friends house and his wife had answered saying that they had went to the bar. My mom had than put Adrian and I into the car telling us that we had to go get Daddy. When we arrived at the bar my mom went in leaving us in the car. She had returned with mascara streaked down her face and a fake smile plastered there too. Later that night, after we had been put to bed, my mother had killed herself by overdose. This memory was burned into my brain and never left. Afterwards my dad had never came back for us, and we were sent to the orphanage. Not two months later we had been adopted by Lisa and Tod. Tod was away a lot with him being in the Navy. Lisa and Tod are our mom and dad , we had even began calling them that.
I looked over at Connor sitting in the drivers seat and thought about that night two years ago.
Conner was sitting across from me our new school schedules lay in our laps with pink highlighter covering the classes we had together and blue highlighter covering the classes we had with our other friends. We both looked up as the door slammed open and shut, all the while hearing the yelling that had entered the house.
“I can’t believe you would do that!” I heard James yell. “Much less with Jared!” I looked at Connor and knew that he heard the tears in James’ voice too.
“You weren’t suppost to find out. Jared said you wouldn’t. Never in a million years did I want you to see that!” I heard Cameron, James’ girl-friend of three years, saying. I opened my eyes wide and my jaw dropped as I came to a conclusion. Cameron had cheated on James and he had found them together.
I mouthed my thoughts to Connor and his eyes widened. ‘Oh my god’ he mouthed.
Twenty minutes later Lisa had driven me home and I was texting Connor talking about Cameron and James’ fight.
Just a sec - C
K - R
OMG!!! -C
WAT?! - R
The hospital just called. Moms crying - C
Ask what’s wrong - R
K - C
What is it? - R
He’s DEAD! - C
Who? - R
James! - C
Oh my god! What happened? - R
Mom says that the cops told her that he pulled his car out in front of an eighteen wheeler and
stopped. - C
Like, like - suicide? - R
That’s what they’re saying it was. She says that they told her if he had been wearing his seat belt he would have survived. :’( - C
*tears* are y’all going to the hospital? - R
Idk. Can I come over there? My mom wants to go alone so she can talk to the doc’s and the cops. - C
Sure Connor I don’t even have to ask to know that answer. Hurry - R
Be right there. - C
I read the last text and shut my eyes and cried until Connor got there and cried even harder.
I remembered that day, so similar to now. Except this time it was only Connor and myself. I just put my arms around his waist, and we stood like that for a while, until our eyes had ran dry. Before we headed back for the car we reread the headstone.
James Riley Stokes
July 11, 1992 - August 23, 2008
He will be missed
Turning around Connor grabbed my hand and gave me a tight hug.
“Thanks Rue,” he said quietly.
“For what?” I asked in reply.
“Coming here with me, holding my hand through everything, staying with me even though I’m broken, caring, being yourself, not pulling a Sunday.“ he said making a reference to the song Remembering Sunday. “I guess, just, Loving me and letting me love you.” he finished sighing.
I was shocked at that last part, Connor and I hadn’t said that we loved each other yet. We were both extremely wary of saying it. Me, because, when I was 3 my dad told my mom that he was going to a friends house to watch the game. After telling he this she had replied ‘Ok, have fun. Love you,’ him just kissing her cheek and leaving. Three hours after the game should have ended my mom had called the friends house and his wife had answered saying that they had went to the bar. My mom had than put Adrian and I into the car telling us that we had to go get Daddy. When we arrived at the bar my mom went in leaving us in the car. She had returned with mascara streaked down her face and a fake smile plastered there too. Later that night, after we had been put to bed, my mother had killed herself by overdose. This memory was burned into my brain and never left. Afterwards my dad had never came back for us, and we were sent to the orphanage. Not two months later we had been adopted by Lisa and Tod. Tod was away a lot with him being in the Navy. Lisa and Tod are our mom and dad , we had even began calling them that.
I looked over at Connor sitting in the drivers seat and thought about that night two years ago.
Conner was sitting across from me our new school schedules lay in our laps with pink highlighter covering the classes we had together and blue highlighter covering the classes we had with our other friends. We both looked up as the door slammed open and shut, all the while hearing the yelling that had entered the house.
“I can’t believe you would do that!” I heard James yell. “Much less with Jared!” I looked at Connor and knew that he heard the tears in James’ voice too.
“You weren’t suppost to find out. Jared said you wouldn’t. Never in a million years did I want you to see that!” I heard Cameron, James’ girl-friend of three years, saying. I opened my eyes wide and my jaw dropped as I came to a conclusion. Cameron had cheated on James and he had found them together.
I mouthed my thoughts to Connor and his eyes widened. ‘Oh my god’ he mouthed.
Twenty minutes later Lisa had driven me home and I was texting Connor talking about Cameron and James’ fight.
Just a sec - C
K - R
OMG!!! -C
WAT?! - R
The hospital just called. Moms crying - C
Ask what’s wrong - R
K - C
What is it? - R
He’s DEAD! - C
Who? - R
James! - C
Oh my god! What happened? - R
Mom says that the cops told her that he pulled his car out in front of an eighteen wheeler and
stopped. - C
Like, like - suicide? - R
That’s what they’re saying it was. She says that they told her if he had been wearing his seat belt he would have survived. :’( - C
*tears* are y’all going to the hospital? - R
Idk. Can I come over there? My mom wants to go alone so she can talk to the doc’s and the cops. - C
Sure Connor I don’t even have to ask to know that answer. Hurry - R
Be right there. - C
I read the last text and shut my eyes and cried until Connor got there and cried even harder.