At Least I Know I'm A Sinner

MALLORY'S P.O.V. (March 2, 2006)

"Ow!" I whispered.

"Come here. Let me do it. Shit," Syeira said.

She took the eyeliner pencil from my hand and shoved me onto the toilet seat, then proceeded to put on my eyeliner.

"When are you gonna get the hang of doing this yourself?" she asked. "It's starting to annoy."

"You know you love it," I said, causing her to laugh slightly.

She was done putting on my eyeliner in no time, then we went back to doing our own make up. We did the whole "make-up to match our outfits" type of thing.

"Do I have to go?" I asked her.

"Yes!" Torrence sang as she passed the open bathroom door.

Sisi and I laughed and went back to what we were doing.

"Yes, you have to go," she said. "Even if I have to drag you there by your ears, you're going. Why are you all of the sudden freaking out about this?"

"I just...don't want to go."

Her response? Smacking me.

"Don't pull this "beating-behind-the-bush" shit again, Mallory. You're going, and I don't care what I have to do to get you there."

"Brian just called," Courtney announced as she joined Syeira in the bathroom. "He said the guys went on ahead and for us to just meet them somewhere."

"Where?" I asked.

"They're at some place downtown," Courtney said. "Fuck. I already forgot the name of it."

"Was it Roscoe's?" Sisi asked her.

"Yeah! That's it!" Courtney exclaimed.

"Figures," Syeira replied as she went back to primping herself. "They go there all the time."

"How come we never go there when you go out with us?" I asked.

"I don't know," she said. "We just never did. Now shut up and finish so we can hurry up and leave."

I finished the eye shadow that I was applying, then looked over my appearance. I decided that I looked decent, then made my way towards leaving the bathroom. But not before I punched Syeira in the shoulder. In true Sisi style, she chased me around the apartment for almost 10 minutes before I tripped over a shoe, that ironically was my own, and she returned the favor of punching me in the arm before she retreated back to the bathroom. I should've known that she wouldn't have let me get away with that.

I went into my bedroom to look for something to wear. I really had no idea what it would be. It had been quite a while since I had been out.

"SISI!!!" I screamed.

"What?" she said as she came into my room and headed over towards her pile of clothes for the evening.

"Mallory's retarded, and can't pick out her own clothes so she wants you to do it for her," Torrence said as she came into the room.

"No, Mal," Syeira said as she started to dress. "Quit being a lazy-ass and pick your own damned outfit."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Rory, I'm borrowing this necklace," Torrence said as she left my room.

I love how my sister borrows my shit and doesn't ask.

I shuffled through my clothes that were hanging up, and pulled out a pair of tight black jeans, and orange spaghetti-strap shirt, a light grey halter-top vest, and a black and white striped tie. I know that it may sound weird, but it actually looks totally awesome. I pulled everything on, then brushed through my hair and decided to leave it down. I put in all my earrings, a bracelet, and a couple rings. Once I was done adorning all my jewelry, I left the room, grabbing a pair of black heels on my way out.

"I thought you were fucking nuts when you pulled out that tie," Anna said when I walked into the living area to join everyone else. "But that looks awesome when it's pulled together."

"Thanks," I said, sitting down on the coffee table, next to Anna's Mom's feet. "Are we all almost ready?"

"We're just waiting on Courtney," Syeira said as she joined us.

"Courtney! Let's go!" I yelled.

"Why are you in such a hurry to leave, when earlier, you didn't want to even go with us?" Sisi asked.

"No reason. It's just you guys were in such a hurry to leave earlier. And now I'm ready, but we can't leave because we're not all ready," I said. "And you were gonna make me go anyways, so there wasn't even any point in arguing with you."

"Damn straight," she said with a smile.

After about five more minutes, Courtney finally walked out of the bathroom.

"Jesus. You take longer than anyone I know," I said as I stood, along with everyone else.

"Shut the fuck up, Rory," she said. "I worked today, unlike everyone else in this room, so I didn't have all afternoon to get ready."

She threw one of the couch pillows at me, which caught me off guard. I lost my balance a little, and almost fell over. She thought it was the funniest thing on Earth, as did everyone else in the room.

Anna thanked her mom for watching Jase, then we left and made our way to Courtney's SUV. She wasn't drinking tonight because she had to work tomorrow, but she was gonna spend a few hours with us tonight.

Courtney made a quick phone call as we got onto the highway. I assumed it was to Brian, because she kept calling him "baby".

"Bad news, guys," she said as she hung up her cell phone. "Matt's bringing Heather."

There was a collective groan heard throughout the vehicle.

"Apparently, she hasn't let him go anywhere alone, or without her, today," she said as she turned the radio on.

"What is her problem?" I said as I bumped my head against the window.

"Well, she's become way clingy lately," Syeira said from the passenger seat. "And I'm sure last night didn't do anything for her confidence in the relationship."

"He just needs to fucking grow a pair already," Courtney said as she shifted into the fast lane, and sped up.

This was fantastic. Already, I was dreading the way things were going to go at whatever club we would be spending the night at. I couldn't help but think that a fight was going to break out with Heather tonight, whether it be with me, or Matt, or even Sisi. Hell; Heather might blow up at any one of us.

"I don't even know her, and I already hate her," I said as I opened the window a little.

They all just laughed at me.

"I give it a week before you guys start dating," Syeira said, peering over her shoulder at me.

"Please," I said. "Matt can do so much better than me. We won't date. Period."

It took fifteen more minutes to get to the club, and the remaining car ride was filled with nothing but loud singing, and idle chit chat.

"See? The guys are already here," Courtney said as she pointed somewhere to the side of the building.

I looked to where she was pointing, and she was pointing at a black Escalade.

"That's Heather's car," Sisi pointed out. "She doesn't drink, so she'll be the one that takes all the guys home. I wanna beat the shit out of her car so bad."

We walked up to the front door of the club. We showed the bouncer our ID's, he marked our hands, then we walked inside. The whole building was filled with loud music, and drunk people dancing everywhere.

"HEY GUYS!" Jimmy popped up in front of us and sloppily threw his arm around Anna.

Her face turned a slight shade of red in the dark light, and she giggled slightly. She liked the attention from him.

I looked past Jimmy, who was now leading us to the pack of wolves, I mean guys, and my stomach flipped, turned, and churned at the sight of Matt's arm around a girl's shoulders.

That must've been Heather.

"Yeah, that's her." Courtney and Syeira whispered into my ears. Sisi in my right, Court in my left, and as quickly and discreetly as they swooped down to tell me, they were already walking ahead and meeting with their guys.

It was awkward when Court and Sisi had some boy toys to hang upon, keep the creeps away, but it was more comfortable to know that Anna and Torrence were in the same boat as me. I just wasn't too keen on Heather being there with us.

She's going to sniff me out like the catty little bitch she is. She's going to know what's going on between me and Matt. NOTHING is going on between me and Matt, but after all of the girls confirming, well actually telling me, there's something there.

And it's obvious!

I just dont want anything to happen tonight. I dont feel like kicking anyones ass or having some else kick my ass, for that matter. I just wanna have a good time, and forget about everything else in the world.

"Hey, Mallory," all the guys said as I approached behind the others.

"Hey, guys," I said, scooting into the available space that was next to Syeira at the end of the booth.

The only one that didn't say anything to me was Heather. Either she already knew about me and the fact that the guys were at my apartment last night, or she was just being a fucking shrew because she was an insecure little bitch. However, I was going to be the bigger person and try to keep things from getting out of hand before I even got to know her.

"Hi. I'm Mallory. You must be Heather," I said as I put on a fake smile and extended my hand to her.

She, however, didn't shake my hand. She just flicked her head towards me and kept her arms folded across her chest. My smile faded and I dropped my hand next to my side.

Alrighty then...Heather must already know that Matt and the guys were at my apartment last night.

Thankfully, a waitress with the guys' next round of drinks interrupted the awkward silence that followed mine and Heather's somewhat hostile greeting.

"What can I get to drink for you ladies?" she asked after she had set down all the guys' drinks.

Syeira ordered a Crown and Sprite with a lime, Anna ordered a glass of Grey Goose Vodka, Courtney ordered a shot of tequila and a water, Torrence had a Blue Lagoon, and I ordered a glass of Jack Daniels and Coke.

"That shit's disgusting," Torrence said to me as the waitress brought us our drinks.

"Well, it's a good thing you're not drinking it then," I said as I took the first sip. "Because I happen to fucking love 'em."

"Give me a fucking five, Mallory," Zacky said as he reached across Syeira. "You know what a real fucking drink is. You ever drink is straight?"

"Occasionally," I said with a small laugh. "But only is small amounts."

"Who cares?" I heard Heather mutter under her breath.

"Excuse me?" I said to her. "Is there something you'd like to share with the rest of the class?"

"Zacky, come dance with me," Syeira said before Heather had a chance to reply.

Zacky barely had time to set his drink back onto the table before Sisi had dragged him onto the dance floor and disappeared through the crowd. I stayed at the table with everyone else, as Syeira, Zacky, Matt, and Heather went to dance. No one else wanted to. Sisi just wanted to direct everyone's attention off of the fight that might have happened between Heather and I. But I'm not quite sure why Heather made Matt go.

However, it was becoming more and more clear to me why Heather forced Matt to dance with her. Her dancing was becoming increasingly dirty by the minute. Matt was enjoying it for the most part, but I think the excessiveness of it was starting to freak him out a little.

How Heather pin-pointed me out of all the girls to have a thing for Matt, I'll never know. Well...Jimmy was all over Anna, Sisi was with Zacky, Courtney was with Brian, so I guess that just left Torrence and myself. Lucking guess, Heather. Lucky fucking guess.

"Mallory, come sit by me," Courtney said from the other end of the booth.

I picked up my drink and stepped up from the table as everyone else scooted around the table to make room for me at the other end.

"Don't worry about it," she said as I took my seat. "Heather's just trying to make you jealous."

"I can tell," I said as I couldn't help myself and took, what I hope was, a nonchalant glance at the two of them.

The glance lasted a mere few seconds, and I took a large swig of my drink, the alcohol mixed with the carbon from the soda made for an intense burning sensation in the back of my throat.

"Slow down, Mal," Torrence said.

"Fuck you," I said as I downed the rest of my drink, and got up to retrieve another glass of Jack and Coke from the bar.

The song that had been playing ended as I took a seat at the bar. I requested a Jack and Coke from the bartender, and waited while he scampered off to make my drink. Pretty soon, Syeira took the seat next to me, and Zacky joined us and stood by her side a few seconds later.

"How's it hanging?" she said, somewhat out of breath.

"Peachy-fucking-keen," I said as the bartender returned with my drink, then scampered off to fix someone else's.

"It's only going to make Heather happy if you let her know that she's making you fucking miserable," Zacky said as he waited to order his own drink.

"I don't even know Matt that well. I can't understand why I like him so much," I said as my friends ordered their own round of drinks.

"I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't," Syeira said as we walked back to the table that, thankfully, was still missing Matt and Heather.

"I bet it's not just Matt that you have a thing for," Zacky said as we took our seats. "I bet I get you all hot and bothered."

He squeezed his man-boob, and was shortly after slapped in the face by Sisi.

"Don't you ever say that shit to her again," she said. "Or to anyone else, for that matter. Unless it's me."

"You know I was just kidding, Sisi," he whined.

He leaned in and whispered something in her right ear. She blushed slightly, then Zacky went back to drinking as much Jack Daniels and Beer as was humanly possible. I raised my eyebrow at her in inquiry. In turn, she only blushed a little more, saying nothing to me. I smiled back. I was happy for her. She loved Zacky with everything she had, and I was happy that they'd found each other. I could only wish that I might find someone like him for myself some day.

"Mallory, you better slow down," Torrence said to me, bringing me out of my own thoughts.

I looked down at my drink to notice that it was already completely gone.

"Fuck," I muttered.

Torrence took the glass out of my hand and set it down onto the table gently. I watched as she did this in slow motion, and her smile towards me was weird. It was... scared, unsure.

"Torrence, where's Matt?" I didn't even look at Matt and Heather dancing on the dance floor as I asked such a stupid question. Her look was puzzled before she chuckled and pointed to the side of her. They were dancing right in front of me. I hit my forehead with my hand before I started to giggle.

I was falling over and Torrence had to catch me and sit me back upright, and that's when I stopped my giggling.

"Excuse me," I slurred as I gently nudged Torrence out of my way out of the booth, and I walked across the dance floor towards the "lovers", concentrating the most on walking straight and what the fuck I was going to do when I reached them anyway.

I walked straight. And I even walked confidently... drunk. I walked confidently drunk. I didn't want to stop, but I knew I was gone, and I wanted to dance with Matt. The urge to dance with him came out of nowhere, really.

"Hey Matt, let's dance," I said.

I grabbed Matt's shoulder and turned him from Heather, accidentally making his shoulder knock her slightly off balance, and I wish I had a Polaroid of the look on her face she had then. She was shocked, more than shocked, and absolutely appalled.

I grinded my hips against Matt's. Heather watching in disbelief, and I pressed myself closer to his body.

"Bitch, you better back off my man!" Heather screamed, and my arm was yanked, pulling me away from Matt and pricks of needles stabbed at the socket, feeling as though Heather did pull my arm out of my socket.

"I don't fucking see your name on him," I said as I pulled my arm out of Heather's grasp and her jaw dropped and her hand met my cheek.

The pain was stinging, and prickling cold for a moment before the blood rushed to my cheek to warm it. My first reaction, and instinct, was to throw my hand up to my face to inspect the damage done. Okay, it was more of a pain reaction to try and exert pressure to hopefully make the pain go away.

"God damnit, Heather! Leave her the fuck alone! We were dancing," Matt stuck his hand out and laid it on her chest to keep her at a distance. I was too drunk to retaliate with her.

"Matthew, don't you dare stick up for her! It is ME who you are dating, not this white trash whore!" and Heather knocked his arm to the side and lunged at me. I threw my hand down and just readied myself for a blow that didn't come.

Matt had caught her with his whole body this time.

"Heather! If you keep acting like this, I swear we're over!" he yelled, and she stopped her struggle to get out of his arms.

"Don't talk like that Matt," Her face turned to a pout.

"Actually, I think we are over Heather. I can't deal with your outbursts like this, and you're taking control of my life. I'm sorry babe, but I'm through," Matt's voice softened in the still hard, angry tone, and I was confused on which emotion he was feeling towards her. I was confused as to what the fuck was going on. One minute I'm trying to dance with Matt and the next, I have a handprint on my face and Matt just dumped Heather.

"Don't you dare call me 'babe!'" Tears welled up in her soul-less eyes and she turned on one heel to walk out, Matt grabbing her by the wrist. He obviously cared about her, but she pulled her arm out of his grasp, kept her chin up, and walked out of the club with dignity.

I don't think I could walk out of a club with dignity or confidence after being broken up with my boyfriend on the middle of a dance floor.

"Fuck," I heard Matt mutter and he put a hand to his forehead.

Instant comfort mode.

"Are you okay?" I walked to him and rested one of my hands on the back of his shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I guess," his tone now unsure, and I felt guilty. I felt like I caused all of this.

"Let's dance," One of his hands grabbed my hip and pulled me to him.

We started slow. The tension was still high, and so were the emotions, but we loosened up and finally got to keeping with the unusual, techno beat.

"I think I like you, Mallory," Matt's hot breath poured down my neck and into my ear as he pulled me closer to him. I giggled and put my arms around his neck to keep him where he was.

"I think I like you too, Matthew."