At Least I Know I'm A Sinner

MALLORY’S P.O.V.

I feel like shit.

That was my first thought when I regained consciousness from sleeping. I didn’t drink any alcohol last night, so I wasn’t sure why I felt as though I had a hangover.

I was startled when a hot breath blew in my face. I opened my eyes to see Matt asleep, facing me with our legs tangled together and his arms wrapped around my waist.

“GET UP!”

“Jesus Christ, Courtney. You knocked the fucking wind out of me,” I wheezed.

Courtney had taken it upon herself to wake me up in the best way possible…which happened to be jumping on me as though she were doing a belly flop into a pool.

“Sorry,” she said with a laugh. Matt lifted his head from the pillow to see what disturbed his sleep. He groaned at Courtney then removed his arms from my waist and put his pillow over his head.

“But everyone else is still asleep, and I wanted some company.”

“Fuck.” I knew I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, so I threw the covers off me and swung my legs over the side of the bed, sitting up. “I could think of about a dozen ways I would’ve rather woken up, Court.”

“Oh you know you still love me.”

She stuck her tongue out at me, so I grabbed it and pulled.

“Ow, you fucking bastard,” she said. “That hurt.”

“Then my work here is done. Now leave so I can take a shower.”

"Well hurry your ass up so we can go wake up Sisi." Courtney was at the door and about to pull it closed before Matt threw his pillow at her.

"What the fuck was that for?" She laughed and he chuckled.

"It would be wise not to just wander into their room." We all knew what he was implying.

"Dude Syeira kicked Zacky's ass last night, I highly doubt he got any." and Matt shrugged next to me.

"True. But still be careful." He turned over and grabbed another pillow from the other side of the bed. Courtney and I laughed at him and she finally left the room. I got up and wandered into the bathroom to take my shower.

By the end of my shower, which Matt surprisingly never walked in on, I felt more awake and less shitty than before. I got dressed in the only clothes I had and when I walked back into the room, Matt was still passed out in the bed. I smiled at how cute he looked and then Torrence burst through the door, hitting me.

"Ow Torr." I was over-dramatic and Torrence chuckled and apologized.

"Time to go wake Sisi up. We pushed Johnny into the room while ago and found out the two are dressed."

"You idiots," I muttered and she laughed and grabbed my arm, pulling me to a far room that Anna and Courtney were already in front of. I figured that the other guys were staying out of this "birthday celebration".

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" the four of us girls screamed as we shot through the door on the count of five and Zacky fell out of his bed. Syeira was laughing her ass off while clutching her heart.

"What the fucking hell!?" Zacky stood up from the floor, his hair sticking out in every direction and Syeira leaned over his side of the bed while we all said 'Happy Birthday' again.

"Zacky it's my birthday." She was practically gasping for air and we all laughed just as hard.

"Please give me at least some kind of warning next time, Jesus." He cracked a smile because we all knew he couldn't be that mad and he just climbed back into bed.

"So what did you all get me!?" Syeira scrambled off of Zacky's side as he got back into his bed and she sat up quickly.

"Well the gifts are at home," Anna said and this didn't faze Syeira one bit.

"Okay!" she screamed and then jumped out of bed. Zacky had thrown a pillow over his head, as well as the comforter they had been sleeping under and Sisi ran into their joined bathroom. "Okay, now get out. I've got to shower." We saw Zacky throw the cover off of his head, as well as the pillow and we put it together.

We all gladly left the room and locked the door for them.

"God, I'm starving," I mumbled. I rubbed my stomach as we all headed towards the kitchen to raid it of anything tasty for breakfast.

"Birthday girl up yet?" Brian asked through a mouthful of food from his place at the table.

"Yeah, she's up," Courtney answered. She sat next to Brian and pecked his lips while the rest of us girls grabbed whatever we wanted from the cupboards to eat. "But her and Zacky are taking a shower."

He made a face and lowered the spoonful of cereal he had near his mouth.

"Yeah, I'm done eating now." Brian shoved his cereal away from himself, and Courtney grabbed it, eating what was left as we all laughed at her nauseated boyfriend.

I was the last to decide what I wanted to eat. The other girls sat down at the table, and I nearly jumped out of my skin when tattooed arms were wrapped around my waist.

"Jesus Christ, Matt. You scared the shit out of me."

He laughed in my ear as I poured my cereal.

"You wanna make me some?" he asked.

"Not really." I laughed at the shocked look on his face that was quickly changed to puppy dog eyes. "Now how can I resist that face."

He smiled and I handed him the bowl that I had made for myself, and made another as he joined everyone else at the table. Then Johnny burst into the room.

"Look at my face!" he screamed.

"Ah, come on, man. We're eating!" Matt screamed back at him as he shielded his eyes.

"Fuck you, Muscles." They flipped each other off, then Johnny joined the rest of us at the table.

"Come on, man!" He turned to Brian this time. "Look at my face!"

"What the hell is your problem, fucker?" Brian said. "There's nothing wrong with your face."

"Other than the fact that it's fucking ugly as hell," Jimmy chimed in as he grabbed a cold burrito out of the refrigerator.

"Makes me sick just looking at it," Matt said after draining the milk from his bowl.

"Fuck all you guys." Johnny was freaking out now, and we all just laughed at him as he looked around at us like the worst event of his life had just occurred. "Can you not see this huge ass bruise on my forehead?"

I was sitting on the other side of Johnny, so I grabbed his chin to make him look at me. And no matter how thoroughly or hard I scanned his face, I didn't see any other imperfections besides a few freckles.

"Johnny, you're fucking crazy," I said with a laugh. "There's nothing wrong with your face."

"Other than the fact that it's fucking disgusting," Jimmy chimed in again.

Johnny threw his arms up in defeat and ran out of the room again.

"What's his problem?" A now clean Zacky and Syeira walked into the kitchen. She looked at me and smiled; I rolled my eyes and smiled back.

"He said there was something wrong with his face, but I couldn't see anything wrong with it," I explained.

"Other than the fact that's a fucking nightmare to look at," Zack said.

"God, I love it," Torrence said as she walked into the kitchen. Now the only one that was missing from our little group was Johnny.

"What're you so happy about?" Anna asked her.

"I put some purple eye shadow on the bathroom mirror and now Johnny thinks he's got a big ass bruise on his face. He's freaking the fuck out up there."

"Alright…which one of you assholes put make-up on the fucking bathroom mirror?" We could hear Johnny yelling from upstairs, and I couldn't help but bust up laughing with everyone else.

A few seconds later, he came back into the kitchen looking mutinous, all of us sitting at the table and unconvincingly hiding our smiles.

"That wasn't funny, you dickheads." He looked around at all the guys.

"I'm sorry, Johnny," Torrence said in between laughs. "That was me."

"Oh…well…" His expression softened immediately, which caused us all to laugh even harder.

"Well, I'm finished." I put my bowl into the sink and stretched. "I'm going back to the apartment to get Sisi's gifts. Anyone wanna come with me?"

We decided that we'd all go, so people quickly finished their breakfast of choice then got ready to leave. Me, Torrence, and Anna came over in the clothes we had on last night, so we were ready to go in a matter of seconds. The guys, however, took a little over half an hour.

What they say in the magazines is really true. They take forever to get ready to go anywhere.

"Good God, you guys take a long ass time." Jimmy, Johnny, Brian, and Matt had walked down the stairs, but were missing one rhythm guitarist.

"Where's Zacky?" I asked.

"Bitch is still getting ready," Matt said as he walked over to me. He held onto one of my shoulders to balance himself as he put on a sandal. "You guys better go on ahead of us, and we'll meet you there."

He pecked my cheek, then the five of us girls left the house and piled into my Chrysler sedan. Torrence was driving.

"You need a bigger car, Mal." Courtney complained from the back seat as her, Anna, and Syeira squeezed next to one another.

"Your ass gonna buy me one?" She stayed silent. "I didn't think so."

On the way to the apartment we did our normal car routine, which consisted of hanging out the window as we sped down the highway, honking at random people, and playing our music obnoxiously loud.

"So are you two dating yet?" Courtney asked me.

"What are you talking about?"

I put the cd case underneath the front passenger seat as I answered my friend, and the other three turned to look at me as we stopped at a red light.

"I saw the way you guys were in bed this morning."

Everyone raised their eyebrows at me, and a car behind us honked the horn. The light had turned green, and Torrence put her foot on the gas as everyone turned their attention back onto me.

"Nothing happened last night you guys. I don't even remember how we got like that."

They all scoffed at me and smirked.

"Don't lie to us, Mal," Sisi said from the backseat.

"Nothing happened," I said as I looked back at her.

"Don't forget, I can always tell when you're lying to me." She squinted at me. "And I can tell that you're lying through your fucking teeth to me right now."

"Alright fine." I turned back and faced forwards. "We kissed. But that's it."

They jaunted and teased me as Torrence turned onto the street that would take us to our apartment.

"So you never answered my question, Mallory."

"To be honest, Court, we're not dating. The subject never even came up. I'm not really sure what we are right now."

"Just remember that none of us will let you leave it alone until something happens one way or another," Torrence said as she honked at a group of passing kids.

By the time we actually got to our destination, our hair was still partially windswept, there was slight windburn on our faces, and our voices were hoarse from the screaming and loud singing.

"We really need to grow up," Anna said as we walked into the apartment. We were all still rolling with laughter and holding onto each other for support as we crossed the threshold in fear that we'd fall over if we didn't.

"Oh, my God, I just had the greatest idea ever," Courtney said, stopping in her tracks and causing the rest of us to bump into her.

"What the hell, Court?"

"You know how the guys are always hiding in closets and behind doors to scare the shit out of us?" Syeira just laughed like an idiot.

"Yeah," she said.

Me, my sister, and Anna were just staring at the two of them because we had no idea what the hell they were talking about.

"Care to share with the rest of the class?" I chuckled.

"Get me a piece of paper and a pen, and then I'll tell you."

I went to the kitchen and got what she asked for and waited while she called Brian.

"Ok, they're just now getting on the highway, so we got about fifteen minutes."

She began to feverishly scribble words onto the paper, and I didn't get to see what she had written until she was done. She had written a note to the guys, telling them to make themselves at home and we'd be back soon, that we had just gone down to the gas station for some cigarettes.

"Ok, Anna, go get five pairs of your pantyhose." Courtney instructed.

Anna just looked at her in a weird way, then went down to her room, and came back a few minutes later with five pairs of tan pantyhose.

"Now Mallory, you need to park the car out back so the guys will think we're still gone when they get here, then we'll keep watch. And when they get here and get inside, we're gonna scare the shit out of them."

"We're gonna make them think that we're robbing your apartment," Syeira said with a smile.

"What the fuck?"

"Just go move the car and meet us out back in the courtyard."

I just did what I was told, and moved the car to the back parking lot where the guys would never see it. As I got out of the car, the rest of the girls came walking down the back stairs laden with a bunch of black rags, as well as some random objects.

"Here."

Torrence shoved a hoodie, pair of pants, and shoes – all black – into my hands.

"It's way too fucking hot outside to be wearing this shit," I complained.

"Quit your bitching. We gotta look the part or they'll never believe us." She paused to pull the hoodie over her head, then continued. "Now hurry up and put that stuff on. They're gonna be here any minute."

About that time is when I noticed what all the objects were that they had brought outside with them. Anna and Syeira had baseball bats, Torrence had some fishing line, and Courtney had a foot-long carving knife.

"Aside from the fact that seeing you with a foot-long serrated knife makes me want to shit myself, I'm curious to know where you got all that stuff. None of it looks familiar, and I know you didn't just pull it outta your asses."

"The knife obviously came from your kitchen with the fishing line, and the two bats came from your spare closet. Now unlock your trunk."

"Alright, alright. Just don't stab me."

I did as Courtney asked, then Anna and Syeira immediately started rummaging through it.

"Perfect."

Syeira pulled out a large crowbar that I had.

"Why is there a crowbar in your trunk?" Anna asked with a laugh; Syeira shoved the metal bar into my hands as I answered.

"I keep it in there for when I'm working but Torrence isn't, and I'm in the parking lot by myself at four in the morning."

We goofed around the back courtyard for less than ten minutes when we noticed the guys' SUV pull into the front parking lot; Anna was keeping watch, and ran to stop Syeira and Courtney trading punches so we could proceed with our plan.

Once they had climbed the stairs, the five of us edged around the corner and stood underneath the fire escape to wait a little bit for them to get settled inside.

"How the fuck can they not be here yet?" Brian asked. "I was one the phone with Court and she didn't mention one damn thing about going anywhere."

"Just get your bitch ass inside and drink some alcohol," Matt said as Zacky took the key from the flowerpot on the windowsill Courtney had told them in their note to grab; Zacky led the way inside. "Oh yeah, and shut the fuck up."

We covered our mouths with our hands to stifle our laughter as the guys walked inside our apartment and shut the door. Syeira suggested waiting a few minutes before we burst in on the guys. It made sense, but it was hot as hell outside, and I was already beginning to sweat like a pig.

"God, can we do this already? I'm dying here."

I was being a huge baby, and I knew that. But it was Southern California - this isn't exactly the coldest place on earth.

"If we burst in there too soon, then it'll seem suspicious, like we were waiting for someone to go through the door." Torrence adjusted the pantyhose on her head. "Five more minutes, then we can go in there."

We stood under the hellish, hot California sun as we made sure we looked the part of burglars. Then we crept up the staircases to my second floor apartment, making sure that there were no neighbors around to think that an actual burglary in progress.

As we neared the door, we could hear the guys moving around inside. Courtney stepped to the front of our group and jiggled the doorknob around.

"What the hell are you doing?" I whispered.

"You really are a dumbass, Mallory." Torrence rolled her eyes at me.

"Will you two shut the fuck up?" Courtney said as she joggled the door handle a couple more times. The door opened, but just large enough for someone to peek their eye through.

"Why is the door unlocked?" Torrence asked.

"Now who's the dumbass?" I whispered to her.

"I just can't believe they left the door unlocked," she said as she flipped me off.

"Did you hear that?" Brian asked. The noise inside the apartment immediately stopped.

"Fuck me, Brian's hearing voices again."

"Eat my ass, Jim," Brian retorted. "Johnny go check the door."

"Go check it your own fucking self."

"Just play rock, paper, scissors or something, but someone needs to go get the damn door, or I'll make you."

I couldn't help but giggle at Matt's threat, and the other girl's quieted me. We could hear both Brian and Johnny shout rock and paper, but Johnny said fist when Brian said scissors.

"You midget bastard!" Brian yelled. "Punch me in the face ever again, and I'll fucking kill you."

'No you won't. You love me too much. Now get the damn door, Junior."

The other guys laughed at Johnny's teasing and we heard footsteps approaching the entryway.

"What the fuck?" Brian muttered as he caught site of the slightly opened door.

"Now," Syeira whispered to all of us.

Courtney threw the door open and we all heard a big thud as Brian’s head collided with the door and he fell to the floor. I think we knocked him out because he didn’t move. It was so hard to stifle our laughter.

"What the fuck?" Matt cried out as Courtney ran behind him and quickly put the knife to his throat.

"Fucking do anything and I will slit your throat." Courtney disguised her voice pretty damn good and we all took the cue to do the same.

Court looked at me and nodded to Zacky and I took that as my cue to do something to him. I had a fucking crowbar. What the hell was I supposed to do? Knock him out with it? I decided that I would have to apologize profusely to him later but I walked stealthily over to him and hit him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. He hit the floor. I saw Syeira flinch as if she wanted to kill me just then. Jimmy and Johnny looked like they wanted to shit their pants as they put their hands slightly in the air. I stood over Zacky making sure he didn’t stand back up.

Syeira let out a muffled scream and then hit the counter with her bat.

"Don’t fucking break anything!" Torrence had deepened her voice as she shot a glare at Sisi who was trying not to kill me. Sisi ran over to Matt and started to dig through his pockets, fishing out everything that he was carrying. Torrence was opening and shutting doors as if she were looking for bags and didn’t know where the fuck they were.

"Don’t fucking move!" Anna’s muffled, and suddenly British voice came from the entryway where Brian had been knocked out. I almost didn’t realize she had stayed behind to watch over him.

I looked down at Zacky to make sure he was still on his hands and knees and I could see Syeira going through Johnny’s pockets now as Torrence ran back with a plastic HEB bag we had stuffed in our pantry. She threw Matt and Johnny’s wallets and watches and just about anything valuable on them, into the bag and started on Jimmy. There was a smirk on his face as Sisi technically felt him up. Zacky looked up at Sisi and furrowed his eyebrows and I kneed him in the ribs. He flinched and looked back down on the floor.

"I know that fucking rack!" he suddenly shouted and Sisi stopped. I could see Courtney tense and pull the knife tighter on Matt’s neck making him flinch slightly. "What the fuck are you girls doing?" Zacky finally stood up and yanked the crowbar out of my hand, waving it my face. Okay, I’ll admit. I fucking chickened and stiffened. Courtney dropped the knife from Matt’s neck and pulled off her "mask". The other girls followed suit, but I left mine on, but Zacky yanked it off a few moments later.

"Shit, are my pants wet?" Johnny mumbled from his seat on the couch.

"I oughta kill you." Zacky narrowed his eyes at me and clutched at his midriff with one hand.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Brian suddenly stumbled around the corner, groaning and holding the side of his head.

"Jesus Christ, Johnny. How hard did you hit me?"

He opened his eyes and looked around at the girls, all dressed completely in black with bats, crowbars, and knives.

"Did I miss something?"

"The girls pretended like they were robbing us!" Jimmy squeaked.

He looked at Courtney, who was still holding the knife her hand; she waved at him and smiled sheepishly.

"And you!" Zacky pointed his finger at Jimmy, who cowered even lower into his seat.

"What did I do?"

"Don't try to fucking hide it, Stretch. I saw the look on your face when Sisi was searching you."

He looked like a deer caught in headlights, and he rounded on his girlfriend next.

"And how come you searched everyone but me?"

He pouted a little, and I could see Syeira wanting to cave.

"I was just trying to make it convincing, babe." Zacky huffed. "But how could you even tell it was me? And through this thick-ass, baggy sweater?"

"Babe I just know your whole body like the back of my hand." Zacky smirked and I swear everyone in the room gagged, including myself.

"I am now leaving and changing out of these hot ass clothes that Courtney forced me into!"

I threw an arm up as if I were raising my hand to talk. I walked out of the room while I still had my arm in the air. I could hear everyone following me out of the room and it was probably a public display of affection between Sisi and Zacky.

I know I’m a fucking adult but it’s still gross to watch those two. It’s so loving that it’s sickening.

I slammed my door shut and quickly took off the black hoodie. Immediately as I felt cold air I just wanted to collapse. It felt so damn good to have some air circulate through my shirt.

"So where the fuck are my presents!" Sisi screamed from the kitchen and I groaned as I threw myself onto my bed. She was going to burst in here soon thinking that they were in my closet. Which she’d be wrong, they’re in Torrence’s.

I could hear footsteps walk past my room and into Torr’s and then someone running after them. No doubt Torr and Sisi.

"YAY!" Syeira screamed and I chuckled. I had to get up and go see her face. "What the fuck did you get me Zacky?" I opened the door as soon as Syeira punched Zacky’s arm. He laughed and clutched his arm.

"I gave you sex last night."

"No, I didn’t want that." she stated before she took away her attention from him. My jaw almost wanted to drop because I don’t think anyone really expected them to fuck last night since she got pissed off at him.

"At the time you did." Zacky smirked and stalked off to the living room. I could see Sisi blush as she rolled her big eyes and looked for more of her presents.

"That’s it." Torrence found the last box that was from Anna and stuck it on top of the others. We basically held the guys’ presents here too.

"Alright, let's go open."

Syeira looked around at us all excitedly, and I just nodded as a yawn prevented me from talking. The rest of our group laughed at her, then we walked back into the living room and gathered around the coffee table to watch Syeira open her presents.

"You were hard to shop for, Sisi," I said as I sat next to her on the couch.

She shushed me as she tore open the first box from Brian and Courtney. It was a few 'Going-Out' outfits that she loved. Anna got her some clothes, Torrence got her some jewelry, then there was a collective present from Johnny, Jimmy, and Matt. From them, there were three pairs of shoes, a skirt, two pairs of jeans, and three shirts. It was cute because they got shy when she opened it. Said they'd had absolutely no idea what to get her.

Zacky was the last to give her presents. He got her a gorgeous necklace from Tiffany's, and then placed a huge box with holes in one side on her lap, but the holes were facing away from her.

"What could it be?" she mumbled.

She shook the box lightly and you could hear whatever kind of animal that was in the box thumping around inside it.

"Don't…shake it," Zacky chuckled. "Open it."

She opened it to reveal a jet black kitten with a red bow tied around its neck. She gasped and lifted the feline out of the box. It was so small, it fit in the palm of her hand

"My sister's cat had kittens, and I was just able to get it a couple days ago."

'Baby, I love it."

She handed the little furball over to me and leaned over to give Zacky a kiss. He blushed as everyone in the room 'awwed' over the two of them.

"So this night would not be complete without going to a club or a bar of some kind. Go get ready, cause we leave in an hour."

Syeira ushered the guys out of their seats and towards the door. Matt held my cheek and kissed me as the other guys did the same with their girlfriends. Johnny and Torrence even hugged and kissed each other's cheeks. Anna shut the door behind the guys and I raised my eyes at my sister. She just blushed and walked into her room, then shut the door.

Since all of us girls are relatively the same size, Courtney borrowed some of Torrence's clothes, and Syeira wore some of the one's she'd gotten a little while ago. It took almost an hour for us all to be primped, ready to go, and walking out the door. As we pulled out of the complex parking lot, we called the guys to see where they wanted to go, and they were already at their favorite spot on the other side of town.

Record the first time ever in history that the guys were ready before their girls.