Blinded

“Ew, why is that necessary?” Angela asked with obvious disgust in her voice. “I wonder if those are the same guys who bugged Bella.”

“What? What guys?” I asked, listening carefully. I heard barking (a person making the sound) and a knocking on glass. Angela said that the wall near us was all glass.

“Disgusting boys,” she answered. “Last year when Jessica and I went dress shopping, and after Bella left, these guys came by and did the same thing. Pigs.”

“Ew,” I mumbled, suddenly becoming self-conscious in the dress Angela had me try on.

“But you do look super pretty in that dress,” she added.

“You said that about the other four dresses,” I told her. “I just have to go with your opinion because you won‘t describe the dresses to me anymore.” I played with the end of the knee-length dress I had on. “This one feels silky.”

“Because it is. Sorry, but I‘m too descriptive and I saw you getting bored after the third dress.”

“Angela, I was listening,” I told her.

“Still.”

“Excuse me,” a woman said in a girly voice. “Are you two going to buy any of the ten dresses you have tried on?”

“No, sir, we‘re just looking,” Angela answered him - and not her. . . . Gay guy? Or just a guy who talks like a teenage girl?

“Well, you ladies can‘t just sit there and try on dress after dress all willy nilly, so if you‘re not going to buy any of the dresses I‘m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Willy nilly?” I whispered to Angela.

“Fine, we‘ll leave,” Angela answered the man. “Sorry we bothered you.”

The guy scoffed and walked away, leaving me to change. We walked out of the third store we have been to today, one that smelled like old blankets. The other two smelled like cotton and candles. It was a strange combination, but a bit better than old blankets. The fresh air that was outside smelled even better. It smelled somewhat like the beach. And it felt warm, which made me feel like going to the beach.

I put my sunglasses on, feeling a bit better knowing people won‘t stare at my sightless eyes, and said to Angela, “Doesn‘t it feel so nice out? Can‘t you smell the beach?”

Angela gasped. “We should go to the beach!” she exclaimed. I smiled. “The beach at La Push is not crowded and since it didn‘t rain that much yesterday we can lay out in the sand without getting wet!”

“What would we lie out on?” I ask her.

“Maria, we‘re walking past a store . . . and another store . . . and another store . . . and look! Another store. I think we can find something.”

I laughed. “Okay, okay, let‘s go to the beach.”

We bought two new beach towels and two pairs of buckets and shovels. I was so excited that I was going to make a sand castle. I hadn’t made one in years. It was definitely awesomerific. I even picked out my own towel without having someone pick it out for me. My dad usually picked everything out for me and Steve just did it himself last time I went shopping with him here in Port Angeles. Aunt Cara let me choose my own clothes to wear today, too. I didn’t pick out something that matched, but I picked a cute graphic-T - according to Cara.

We hopped out of Angela’s car and we skipped down to the sand, throwing off our flip flops and laying out our towels. The sun was high in the sky; I could tell because I felt the heat on my skin, and the heat reminded me of the times Jacob has touched me. His skin always felt so warm.

“Angela, help me,” I told her. “I‘m thinking of Jacob. I‘m going to get mad.”

“Here,” she said, and I felt something land in my lap. “Let‘s see who can build the biggest sand castle.”

“You better not cheat,” I say as I got up from my towel and walked some ways away from it so I wouldn’t get sand on it. She was right behind me and bumped my shoulder as she sat down.

I was putting the second bucketful of sand on my perfectly smooth sandcastle when I heard footsteps crunching on the sand.

“Angela, where are you going?” I asked her, feeling her arm next to mine.

“I‘m not,” she told me. “Someone‘s coming. And how did you get your sandcastle to look that good?!”

“She‘s strange like that,” a new voice said. “I was trying to steal her grilled cheese and she slapped my hand.” It couldn’t be. “And I consider myself pretty stealthy and quiet.”

“Not quiet enough,” I mumble. “What are you doing here, Jacob?”

“It‘s La Push, I‘m always here,” he chuckled. “I was going to ask what the two of you were doing here.”

“Building sand castles,” I replied, putting the finishing touches to my sand castle. “Am I winning?”

“Whoever makes the biggest castle wins,” Angela explained.

“Well, yours is, Mariabella,” he replied.

“Ha!” I shouted at Angela. I felt little bits of sand flying at me. “Don‘t destroy it, love!”

“It looked like a pile of crap before, it should die that way,” she said to me. “And by the way, I‘m pouting.”

“Aren‘t you a senior?” Jacob asked her.

“Yes, I am,” Angela answered. “What, I can‘t pout?”

“Bella stomps her foot,” Jacob says with a soft chuckle.

“Yeah I heard you two hung out yesterday,” I said as I knocked down my sandcastle.

“Uh-huh,” Jacob mumbled.

“I think I left my cell phone in the car,” Angela suddenly announces before giving me a kiss on the top of my head. “I‘ll be right back.”

“Don‘t take too long Angela Weber!” I shout after her, hearing the crunching of sand beneath her bare feet. “Well, um -”

“You don‘t want to talk with me,” Jacob guesses. “I get it.”

“That‘s not it, exactly,” I whispered. Truth is I wanted to talk to him. I actually liked being with him.

“But I wanted to talk to you,” he breathed, taking a seat. His hand brushes my knee as he did so. I shivered despite the heat of the day and his touch. “I wanted to apologize for what I said.”

“Did you now?” I admit I wasn’t one that forgave so easily. It has to do with holding grudges, I believe.

“Yes,” he replied, sounding somewhat offended.

“Don‘t sound so offended, Jacob,” I mock.

“Look, I know I deserve your bad attitude right now. I was just losing my temper when I called you and I took it out on you. I‘m sorry.” I didn’t say anything; instead I just put sand in the bucket and made a castle. “I‘m sincerely sorry? Come on, Mariabella. Please except my apology. I mean it.”

“Can I trust you?” I asked him while looking at what I thought was his face.

He chuckled lightly and grabbed my face with his extremely warm hand, squishing my cheeks, and he moved it towards him, I assumed. I guess I wasn’t looking at him. “Yes, you can trust me,” he whispered. “But not too much. I wouldn‘t trust myself so much after what I did. I‘m really sorry about that.”

I know it was a bit of a moment, but I couldn’t help but notice how nice he sounded, how genuinely sincere he was being to me. Usually I heard him angry, snappy, and like he does not want to be anywhere near me. Now, here, he was actually touching me and wasn’t letting go, talking calmly, and was apologizing for being snappy. I was in pure shock, silent, and I guessed that was worrying him.

“This is the calmest and quietest I‘ve ever heard you,” I whispered back in amazement. “I mean, I know I haven‘t been around that often, but you‘ve always been so . . . angry.”

“’S part of my nature,” he explained. “So you wanna get your cousin and we can all take a walk? We can watch my friends . . . oh, um. . . .”

“Watch what?” I asked him, taking his hand off of my face. “It‘s okay. I‘ll listen.”

“We can watch my friends cliff dive,” he finished. “Sound okay? We can do anything you want - I mean, whatever else we can do. . . .” He groaned.

“What is with you?” I laughed and got up from my spot in the sand. “It‘s like you can‘t be nice or something.”

“It‘s not that,” he answered. “I just - damn.”

“Really now, Jacob? That‘s so interesting.” I heard him get up. “Now what is -”

“Just leave it alone,” he snapped.

“And sincerity gone,” I say under my breath.

“Wha -”

“Let‘s go watch your friends idiotically jump off of a cliff and almost die, okay?”

He began grumbling and I dragged him off in the direction I thought Angela was parked, but he began pulling me the opposite way. He laughed and we continued on.