Blinded

Leah was fighting the last newborn vampire in the vampire army and she was losing. If Jacob didn’t step in, she could have lost her life. Instead Jacob almost lost his when he was nearly crushed to death. The whole right side of his body was broken to bits by the newborn vampire. He was rushed back to his house where Sam tells me Dr. Carlisle, Edward’s “father,” is working on him – and by working on him, I mean re-breaking his bones.

“Are you sure you’re going to be all right telling your aunt nothing really bad happened?” Sam asked me as he drove me home.

“Yeah I’m sure,” I replied, not even remembering what I told her when I called her to tell her with whom I was with. I was too occupied with scary visions of Jacob and Bella kissing before he went off and nearly died during the vampire-werewolf war. “I’m just. . . . I want to see him.”

“Dr. Carlisle is still working on him,” Sam replied, a tone in his voice that I call sympathetic. “But I’ll call you when he’s well enough for visitation.” He was silent for a moment. “And I’m sure he’ll want to see you even before he’s well enough. Last I heard, he was asking about you when he got to his house.” The car turned and I leaned towards the right. “He really is sorry for leaving you like that.”

“Thanks for the reminder,” I mumbled softly.

“Sorry,” he whispered. Darn that werewolf hearing. “But you know how he is when it comes to Bella.”

“I know. He has a hard time letting her go. Maybe he doesn’t want to.”

“Mariabella, please. If only I could get into your mind and show you how it feels to be as in love as this when you have imprinted. There is no way he is having second thoughts. He has no choice.”

“Sounds like he’s forced to love me against his will.”

“He loves you because of who you are,” Sam said firmly. “When your aunt talked to Billy about you coming over Jacob was asking what you were like. Then after he was asking when you were coming – what day, what time, if you were coming to the school on the rez . . . constantly.”

“You’re only saying that to make me feel better,” I muttered, hoping the blush on my cheeks was not visible to him.

“No, I’m not,” Sam chuckled. “Ever since you were mentioned you were constantly in his mind. Emily failed to mention that. But his inner conflict of letting Bella go and letting you in was one of the main things on his mind - you know, other than ‘Gotta kill that friggin blood sucker.’” I laughed. “But he does love you, believe me. He is always thinking of the way you are around him, wondering about ways to make you smile.” He chuckled lightly. “And that blush of yours.”

The car came to a stop. “Thank you, Sam,” I said as I unbuckled. “Hope to see you again soon.”

“Hopefully,” he agreed. “It’s always good seeing you.”

I smiled and got out of his car. I walked up to the door and was about to open it when Cara pulled me into a hug, telling me how happy she was to see me unscathed. She brought me in and told me her reaction to the whole day: how lucky I was when Jacob happened to be hunting on the same day I was going on a hike with my friends (that’s what I must have told her!); how Yvonne and Tyler were so shaken up by the wolf attack that they were hallucinating about some red-haired crazy woman (Victoria, who is now the dead red-haired crazy woman); and how horrible it was that Jake got in that motorcycle accident when he was coming home from hunting.

“What motorcycle accident?” I asked her when she was done. I blew on the hot bite of apple pie before plopping it into my mouth, chewing it, and letting it settle uncomfortably in my churning stomach. Talking about Jacob made my stomach summersault.

“You didn’t hear about it? It happened while you were at Sam’s. I thought for sure since you were at his house you would have been the first to know.” She took a bite of apple pie and said with a full mouth, “He broke his right shoulder and a few ribs on the same side.”

“That was no motorcycle accident,” I said, “that was a -”

I almost slipped and said it was a newborn vampire accident, but I caught myself before I ruined everything.

“Another car’s fault,” I finished before my aunt became suspicious. “I heard a boy from his school was there in his car and was making Jacob skid by almost hitting him – purposefully, too. So not fantasmical.”

“Oh my goodness. Well, it shows how terrible people can be.” She took a drink; I heard her gulping. “Sam said he would call when Jacob was ready for visitors, right?” I nodded. “Would you want to -”

“Yes,” I blurted out before she could finish. I blushed and hung my head. “I mean, yes, because Jacob was asking for me – at least, that’s what Sam told me.”

I heard her giggle lightly. “When he calls we’ll head on over.” She inhaled before speaking: “I notice how you get whenever Jacob’s mentioned. You’ve been like that since you met him. You’re more . . . bubbly, I guess.” She giggled. “And you seem to enjoy it.”

“I do,” I whispered, reverting back to my quiet self.

*|*|*

When Sam called, I was ready to leave the second Cara said, “Oh hi Sam. Jake is ready for visitors?” We got in the car and the drive over to the Black’s house was incredibly and painfully slow. I realized that I had no idea what I was going to say to Jake. Sam said he might be unconscious when I got to the Black’s house because of the pain and the exhaustion, but that he was still asking for me. Cara teased me for that, and she was having a riot when I sat there in her car glued to my seat when she parked in the Black’s driveway.

“It’s like he’s Sleeping Beauty and you’re the prince coming to wake him up from his eternal sleep,” Cara said. “Are you going to kiss him awake?”

“Cara,” I muttered.

“Maybe he’ll miraculously recover the moment he sees you and confess his undying love for you as you fall into his arms and kiss his pain away.”

“Cara, Sto andando a colpire voi!” I shouted, finally unable to take it any longer. This was out of the norm for both of us; usually it is Steve that is teasing me and Cara chastising him while I sat there taking the blows. Now it was Cara teasing me and me chastising her. Oh what madness Jacob could cause.

“You’re going to hit me?” Cara chuckled. “Gosh, we’re both out of sorts tonight. I’m sorry, love. Go in and comfort your friend. I’ll come and pick you up in an hour or so.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek. “That might be Sam out there waiting for you. Love you.”

“Love you too,” I muttered before exiting the car. “Sam?”

I was attacked with a hug. “Nope, it’s Embry,” he replied cheerfully.

“Embry,” I gasped. “I should have known once you hugged me.”

“Come on in, little Italian,” he said as he wrapped his arm around me and led me forward. “Jake wouldn’t shut up about you. I was ready to punch him.”

“’Cause he’s not hurt enough,” I replied, my heart skipping a beat in response to what Embry said about Jake asking for me. I have to get used to my heart skipping a beat at anything Jacob Black does.

“Yeah, but Bella came to see him, so he’s shut up.”

Now I want to throw up.

“Hey, it’s Mariabella!” Paul, I think, shouted when Embry and I entered. “Sorry, we’ve reached the maximum Bella occupancy. Only one Bella in Jake’s room at a time.”

“Ha, you’re so funny, Paul,” Embry said with sarcasm.

“Mariabella?” Seth asked from somewhere farther away. “Cool, it’s a Bella party!”

“Like I haven’t heard that one before,” I muttered, but smiled politely at all of them.

Seth hugged me as he asked, “How are you doing? You okay?”

“She looks about as pissed as I do with the vampire chick here,” Leah said, and I could hear the scowl on her face.

“Leah, shut up,” Paul said. “We all know how angelic and incapable of hating anyone Mariabella is. Jake doesn’t describe her as anything else.” He snickered. “Well, he does think she’s pretty sexy when she speaks Italian, but Embry thinks that too.”

“Paul, you’re such an ass,” Embry said before I heard someone being smacked. I’m assuming Embry smacked Paul.

“Both of you,” Sam’s booming, alpha voice shouted, and all noises stopped. I swear even the forest outside went quiet at the sound of the alpha’s voice. “Mariabella, I hope you don’t mind waiting till Jacob is done speaking with Bella.”

“Of course not,” I said. Those images of Bella and Jacob making out and confessing their deep, passionate love for one another tormented my mind once again. “Where is the bathroom?”

“I’ll show you,” Seth said, and he walked me down a short hallway and to the left in a little crowded place. He grabbed my hand and showed me the knob. “Sorry about Paul’s teasing.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “You weren’t doing anything. You were being the cool kid I know.”

“I’m smiling,” he replied awkwardly. “Jake says he tells you when he’s nodding or anything silent like that. Is it ever awkward for you?”

“No, but I think it would make people more awkward if I told them they could grab my hand and bring it up to their face to ‘feel’ their smile. My godmother and godfather did it especially when I was little. My dad never did; he just told me.”

Seth grabbed my hand again and brought it up to his face. I felt his cheeks rounded from the upturned corner of his lips, which were somewhat full. I couldn’t tell exactly how his lips were shaped because I only felt the corner of his mouth. His cheeks were warmer than the rest of his face.

“You have a very wide smile,” I commented.

“Years of always smiling make it that way, I guess,” he chuckled quietly. “You should smile more often so you could have a wide smile too.” I grinned. “Well, I’ll leave you be. I’ll save you a seat on the couch.”

“Thanks,” I said, and I heard his footsteps fade as he walked away.

I turned the knob and was about to enter the restroom when I heard muffled voices emanating from a nearby door. I’m usually not one to listen in on conversations, however I found myself honing in on the familiar voices. I inched towards the door – which was opposite to the bathroom – and was kinda glad that I had a very, very good sense of hearing.

I came into the conversation at the wrong moment.

“You know I love you,” Bella said softly, almost too softly for me to hear it. But I lamely put my ear against the door I was so desperate to make sure the two weren’t making out.

“I know,” Jacob breathed. My eyes stung. “You know I wish it were enough, but you and I both know it’s not. It won’t be.”

One of them sighed, and then Jacob continued: “And you know that I would tell you that I’d be waiting in the wings, giving you a spare option if you wanted it.”

“If circumstances were different,” Bella said. “Who is it, Jake?”

“What?” he asked.

“Who is the girl you’ve imprinted on?” I could almost hear the heartbreak in her voice. “I think it’s Mariabella. I noticed the way you said her name every time you mentioned her to me. I also noticed how hurt you were when you told me you left her to come to me.”

“And how hurt I was when I got you to kiss me?” he said, and his hurt matched mine when he said that.

Sometimes I hate it when I’m right.

Bella chuckled lightly. “I always wondered how jealous I would be when I found out you’ve imprinted, and I thought I would find reasons why she wasn’t good enough for you. But I’m finding nothing. I see how happy you are. . . .”

“I am happy,” Jake said. “I’m happy with her.” I was overjoyed to hear him say that. I thought he was upset that he had imprinted on me and not Bella. To hear him say he’s happy with me made me forget how angry I was at him.

“Blind man, you’ve seen your sun,” Bella said. “Too bad I had to lose my sun. That, along with wanting the life I cannot have with you, are the hardest parts for me, Jacob. But I’m happy for you.”

She sounded heartbroken and sad to me. I could hear her voice cracking, and I admit that I wanted to cry with her. I knew Jacob loved Bella but I never realized how much Bella could – and does – love Jacob. I had not really thought of their relationship as a whole, just one-sided – Jacob-sided. I always thought of how Jacob reacted to their relationship, how he struggled through it and with it because of his feelings for her. But Jacob was the one to help Bella when she was brokenhearted over Edward and he was the one to comfort her. If he believed that he could have had her if Edward didn’t come back he must have been confident in her feelings for him. He knew that she loved him. I just didn’t realize how much she did, and hearing her voice crack and her heart break over her forlorn friend . . . made my heart hurt as well.

“And I can learn how to be happy for you and Edward,” Jacob said.

“I’m going to stop being such a crybaby,” Bella said, and she sniffled. “You need rest.”

“I’m here if you . . .” Jacob started to say, but he began whispering half way through. It was quiet for a moment, and I stressed out again; I visualized him kissing her tears away due to the stress. My imagination goes wild sometimes.

I heard footsteps coming closer to the door and I scrambled to the bathroom door. I knew even without eyes that I looked as if I were eavesdropping even if I stood near the bathroom door, so I tried my best to change that: I opened the bathroom door, stood with one foot in and one foot out (or something close to that), and kept my hand on the knob to make it look as if I were just leaving.

The other door opened and I jumped. Bella yelped softly.

“Oh, Mariabella,” she said, and she sniffled again. That girl was going to make me cry out of pity for her soon enough. “You scared me.”

“Sorry about that,” I said, and I meant it in more ways than one. Sorry for eavesdropping.

“Jake’s been asking for you,” she said, and I was glad she wasn’t able to read minds like her mind-reading vampire. “He’ll be happy to see you.”

“Not as much as he was to see you, I bet,” I replied, and she was silent. I worried that I had offended her in some way.

That is until she said, “You’re the one he loves,” very softly.

I hugged her in response. Her body tensed, and so did mine. I was about as surprised as she was by my hug. I’m not too much of a touchy person. I grew up in a house where hugs were limited, but words were plenty. Angela had taught me that hugs can make a person’s day because she always hugs me and touches me in some way. I guess she had rubbed off on me because I was now hugging the girl I was worried would steal Jacob away. And she was hugging me back.

“Bye Bella,” I said as I let her go. “Drive safely.”

“Thank you, Mariabella,” she whispered. “For everything.”

I listened carefully as she walked away and as the front door closed behind her.