Status: DONE.
Oh, How Could I Forget?
You'll Cry And Curse When You're Alone.
I flipped open my phone to find out I had 8 new messages and 6 voicemails. Each one from the same 3 people-Leksa, Michael, and Kathy. But I've been getting new messages every day since that night. Not one from him. But then again, what did I expect? So I sent him a text (after calling and receiving no answer) and closed the phone once more. It had been almost a week since I heard anything, and he said that he would get back to me about meeting up again as soon as possible. If that weren't the truth, he never would have trusted me with his number…right?
Pissed off, I tossed my phone to the end of my bed and got up. After stretching, I put on a pair of baggy black sweatpants and went out to the front of my apartment to a type of balcony. It was the early afternoon, but, to me, it was early morning seeing as how I just woke up. Reaching for a cigarette, I thought about the night I met him, and how I felt really ridiculously stupid for letting myself act in such a way. Then I started to think about how secluded I was making myself, and that was pretty ridiculous as well. But…granted, I was pretty shitfaced once we got back here, but it wasn't all alcohol talking. I wasn't the type of person who was able to just forget things or people, and what I did that night was special, in a way. We were both intoxicated, but for some stupid reason I figured that he had to have cared, or felt something other than drunken lust.
All of the thinking, however, was making my stomach do back flips, and the smoking wasn't able to calm me like it usually could if I were really stressed out. It was a disgusting habit that I wish I didn't have to resort to, but when I felt things get really bad, I turned to my lovely pack of menthols and tried to calm myself down. It was the first thing on my list of things to buy once I had turned 18 the summer before college, because without them I'd be a wreck at times.
I breathed out one more gray cloud of smoke and watched it fade into the air before I smashed the cigarette butt into the ashtray, still angry that nothing had made me feel better. I walked back inside, slamming the door and throwing myself onto the couch, quite thankful that my roommate, Samantha, was still on vacation. As soon as I shut my eyes, I could see the night beginning all over again in my mind; I could smell the liquor and sweat, and see the flashing lights from the inside of the club. I saw his grinning face, and felt his touch as we danced, and with that I hated him. I hated myself as well for giving in to lust and foolishness. I didn't even know him, yet I had shameless, drunken (although I will admit-good) sex with a total stranger. Something I never took too lightly.
"You fucking idiot…" I mumbled to myself as I rolled over onto my stomach, regretting even getting up today. It would be another day of hating myself for compromising my morals for a little fun. It would have been worth it-if I were the type of person that didn't get attached emotionally to someone easily. This is exactly why I never partied that hard…
Pissed off, I tossed my phone to the end of my bed and got up. After stretching, I put on a pair of baggy black sweatpants and went out to the front of my apartment to a type of balcony. It was the early afternoon, but, to me, it was early morning seeing as how I just woke up. Reaching for a cigarette, I thought about the night I met him, and how I felt really ridiculously stupid for letting myself act in such a way. Then I started to think about how secluded I was making myself, and that was pretty ridiculous as well. But…granted, I was pretty shitfaced once we got back here, but it wasn't all alcohol talking. I wasn't the type of person who was able to just forget things or people, and what I did that night was special, in a way. We were both intoxicated, but for some stupid reason I figured that he had to have cared, or felt something other than drunken lust.
All of the thinking, however, was making my stomach do back flips, and the smoking wasn't able to calm me like it usually could if I were really stressed out. It was a disgusting habit that I wish I didn't have to resort to, but when I felt things get really bad, I turned to my lovely pack of menthols and tried to calm myself down. It was the first thing on my list of things to buy once I had turned 18 the summer before college, because without them I'd be a wreck at times.
I breathed out one more gray cloud of smoke and watched it fade into the air before I smashed the cigarette butt into the ashtray, still angry that nothing had made me feel better. I walked back inside, slamming the door and throwing myself onto the couch, quite thankful that my roommate, Samantha, was still on vacation. As soon as I shut my eyes, I could see the night beginning all over again in my mind; I could smell the liquor and sweat, and see the flashing lights from the inside of the club. I saw his grinning face, and felt his touch as we danced, and with that I hated him. I hated myself as well for giving in to lust and foolishness. I didn't even know him, yet I had shameless, drunken (although I will admit-good) sex with a total stranger. Something I never took too lightly.
"You fucking idiot…" I mumbled to myself as I rolled over onto my stomach, regretting even getting up today. It would be another day of hating myself for compromising my morals for a little fun. It would have been worth it-if I were the type of person that didn't get attached emotionally to someone easily. This is exactly why I never partied that hard…
♠ ♠ ♠
Hello! Okay, well this was sitting in my old writing binder, and I mean I like Trace Cyrus. It's a shit oneshot, that I'm fixing up (I wrote it about a year or two ago...I think a year) and I'm giving it a more mature feel, because my writing has matured a bit, or I'd hope so. And it's no longer just a oneshot. Maybe three chapters, so short story material. I was going to make it a bit longer, but decided it wasn't worth dragging out. I'm still working on my other two stories, which both are midway through the next chapters. And I've also got a super-secret story planned out ;] You'll see that once this is all typed up (which shouldn't take long).