What's Worth Fighting For?
One.
The voices echoed inside my head as I stumbled up the stairs, fumbling with my key, banging it against the apartment lock until it finally slid in and I managed to unlock the door. I staggered into the room, slamming the door behind me, pulling the handle up roughly and locking it. The reassuring click filled the dirty, silent apartment.
I slumped down the door into a heap on the ground, ragged sobs finally escaping me. Why do I do this? Why can I not just be happy? Why do I always have to pick at things, make things wrong, make things worse? Why can’t I just shut up? Why do I always have to be the one who started the damn arguments all the time?
I let out a strangled yell, thumping my fist against the floor.
"What is wrong with you?" I screamed at myself, staggering upright. Dragging myself to the mirror in the tiny, filthy bathroom, placing my palms against the cold sink and staring at myself. God, all the damn time, I had to start something. Why? Why couldn’t I just be normal?
"I hate you," I hissed into the mirror. "I hate you so damn much. Why do you always have to instigate everything? Why can’t you just say what you mean for once? Why? You’re nothing. You’re just nothing, you hear me?"
I stared back at myself. Rage built up inside me until I couldn’t take it anymore. I punched the mirror as hard as I could. It didn’t shatter like they do on the movies, though the pain from my knuckles stunned some thought into me.
"You don’t like being hurt," I smirked. "I’ll show you."
I stumbled back out into the living room, hatred blinding me. I could see my reflection in everything smirking at me, making me want to scream from the rooftops until my very throat bled. Grabbing the notepad, I let out another enraged scream at myself and scribbled down onto the paper, I’m nothing.
"You’re nothing, you hear me?" I screamed again. "Nothing! You never will be!"
I pushed the notepad across the counter. It knocked into a glass, which fell, shattering onto the floor. I grabbed a large piece, digging it into the pads of my fingers, smearing the blood over the notepad.
"Nothing," I muttered. "Nothing at all. What’s worth fighting for anymore, huh? Tell me."
I slumped down the door into a heap on the ground, ragged sobs finally escaping me. Why do I do this? Why can I not just be happy? Why do I always have to pick at things, make things wrong, make things worse? Why can’t I just shut up? Why do I always have to be the one who started the damn arguments all the time?
I let out a strangled yell, thumping my fist against the floor.
"What is wrong with you?" I screamed at myself, staggering upright. Dragging myself to the mirror in the tiny, filthy bathroom, placing my palms against the cold sink and staring at myself. God, all the damn time, I had to start something. Why? Why couldn’t I just be normal?
"I hate you," I hissed into the mirror. "I hate you so damn much. Why do you always have to instigate everything? Why can’t you just say what you mean for once? Why? You’re nothing. You’re just nothing, you hear me?"
I stared back at myself. Rage built up inside me until I couldn’t take it anymore. I punched the mirror as hard as I could. It didn’t shatter like they do on the movies, though the pain from my knuckles stunned some thought into me.
"You don’t like being hurt," I smirked. "I’ll show you."
I stumbled back out into the living room, hatred blinding me. I could see my reflection in everything smirking at me, making me want to scream from the rooftops until my very throat bled. Grabbing the notepad, I let out another enraged scream at myself and scribbled down onto the paper, I’m nothing.
"You’re nothing, you hear me?" I screamed again. "Nothing! You never will be!"
I pushed the notepad across the counter. It knocked into a glass, which fell, shattering onto the floor. I grabbed a large piece, digging it into the pads of my fingers, smearing the blood over the notepad.
"Nothing," I muttered. "Nothing at all. What’s worth fighting for anymore, huh? Tell me."
♠ ♠ ♠
I like this one =] It's my first songfic. For those who are unsure of what the song is, it's Linkin Park, Breaking The Habit. Although, I think I made it pretty clear xD Hope you enjoyed.