Dilemma

The next day which was a Saturday wasn't interesting Cause none of my other friends was around and Irene had gone to write an exam with my sisters. I was alone and since school hadn't yet started formally,there was nothing to do. I took The Host and started reading it. I'm a very fast reader so I was almost through with the book in the evening. I went to the school area to read Cause they were disturbing me in the hostel.When I got to school, I entered one of the classes and sat down alone to read.
As I was reading, Josef and Ben entered the class and started talking to me.I was so scared that I could not reply coherently and they thought something was wrong with me.They left later and I was relieved. Josef and Ben were approaching me in different places trying to be friendly but I was scared to reply them Cause I hate it when people make fun of me.
On Sunday, everybody resumed and settled down.On Monday, school started formally.During break, I went to wash my face Cause I slept off in class.When I came out of the toilet, I met Josef and Ben and all I could think about was how awful I looked so I smiled at them and walked away.
As time went by, I settled in to 9Th grade work. Josef later asked me out and I refused. Ben also asked me out and I refused.Josef's little brother Toby was in 8Th grade and Josef and Ben were in the 11Th grade.Also in the 11Th grade was Eddy who was my 8Th grade crush.We liked each other but he was shy so he didn't ask me out. I heard during my summer vacation that he wanted to break up with me from Allyson my ex best friend so I decided to forget about him and I spent my summer vacation trying to forget him but I knew deep down that I still liked him.So I decided that I wouldn't date anyone again.
One Saturday, I was in class with Allyson and she said that she liked Josef.I liked Josef a bit but I wasn't head over heels.I didn't tell her and I helped her get together with him.That same day,Toby entered and we started talking.He told me things like he wasn't interested in girls and that he didn't want to date anyone yet.He was a sweet guy and soon,we were close friends.People even thought we were dating but we weren't.
I had decided to ignore Eddy so it would be easier to forget him. I couldn't forget him.Something just drew me to him and I hated him and I hated myself Cause I was so unhappy.