Every Time You Fall Apart You Can Hide Here In My Arms

"Fuck, Shadows, let's go."

Johnny was pulling Matt's blankets off his body as he lay sprawled out on the bed. Matt groaned something non-pleasant and turned his head to lock eyes with his bandmate.

"I don't wanna be the one to explain to Larry why you wouldn't get your ass out of bed," Johnny huffed as he tossed the blankets to the floor.

Matt's eyebrows furrowed together. "Larry?" he muttered, "why? What's going on today?" He hadn't even noticed that Johnny's hair was done perfectly. Or that he was all spiffed up. Hell, he hadn't even noticed that he was at home in his own bed, and Austin was no where to be found.

"Matt, we have a photo shoot in an hour for Kerrang. Are you going to be ready in an hour?"

"Ahhh fuck," Matt buried his head into his pillow. How could he be that fucking dumb? He was doing a well rounded job of screwing up not just his love life, but his entire life. "I'll be ready," he assured Johnny well enough to have him leave the room.

Before he could fall asleep again he crawled out of bed, taking a quick glance at his alarm clock. It was noon. Which meant, that somewhere between last night and now, Austin had brought him home.

"You need to shower, I can smell you from here" Lacey walked into his room with a laundry basket. He watched her skeptically as she set a pile of clothes on his bed. "Don't give me that look. This is the only time I'm going to do your laundry for you. Next time, you can wear dirty clothes."

With that she walked out of the room. Matt's response time was way to slow, plus he was too stunned to say anything. He headed down the hall to the bathroom. He'd have to thank her later.

Within his hour time limit he was showered and dressed. Now he and Johnny were making their way to the Kerrang office.

"So it wasn't a good night?" Johnny turned down the stereo.

Matt glanced at Johnny, his bloodshot eyes hidden behind a pair of green tinted aviators. "Couldn't have been too good," Matt mumbled, "I woke up alone."

Johny chuckled, the hand labeled 'beer' gripping the steering wheel, tightly. "Well, at least she brought you home, she could have left you there."

Matt nodded and glanced back out the window. He had to keep watching the scenery, a queasiness was errupting in his stomach, and he didn't have the time for car sickness now.

***

"Alright, we want you actually in the water."

"Are you serious?" Zacky asked one of the photographers as the entire grouped stared at the pool of deep murky colored water that was going to be used to simulate a lake.

"Yeah," the photographer walked towards them. There was a small wooden boat floating in the water too. "I want you three," he grabbed Johnny and Syn by the forearms, and gestured to Rev as he approached the pool, "to be in the boat. I'm going to get a picture of you three, dumping that tarp wraped body over there into the water."

Zacky quirked his eyebrow at Matt. This was by far one of the most awkward photo shoots they'd ever had.

"Then you two," he turned to Zacky and Matt, "are going to wade into the deeper end of the pool, each of you pulling a body through the water," the photographer stood up straight, "ultimately it'll look like you're dumping bodies."

Rev rubbed the back of his neck and laughed, "kinda figured that."

"Then let's get a move on," soon the guys were surrounded by people, getting their hair and make-up fixed and making last minute wardrobe changes.

By the time the shoot was over, Matt was tired as hell. All he wanted to do was go home, and crawl into bed.

"Hey, Matt," Zacky nodded towards his car as they all left the building, "lets go for some food."

Matt's stomach churned in protest. But he couldn't decide if it was because he hadn't eaten in almost twelve hours, or if it was because he was actually entertaining the idea of eating.

"Go eat," Johnny nudged him, "I'll see you back at the apartment."

Matt glanced between the two men and decided he was being set up. Johnny was leaving him with Zacky, which meant that ultimately, Zacky was going to be the one to give him a talking to. Perhaps, whip him back into shape.

He realised he was defeated when Johnny actually drove away and out onto the street leaving him standing there. Sighing he slapped his aviators back on and maneuvered his way around the front of Zacky's car to the passenger side and got in.

"I promised Gena I'd meet her and grab something to eat," Zacky offered an explanation as he started up his car, "you might as well come, I doubt you've eaten anything in a while."

"Not really," Matt muttered as he reached over his shoulder and grabbed the smooth metalic buckle before sliding it over his shoulder and popping it into place.

Half of the ride went in silence, and Matt enjoyed it. The last half however, was about to get more serious. He could tell by the way Zacky continually glanced over at him, obviously looking for a way to break the ice.

"What, Zack?" he asked finally.

Zacky sighed, "is there anything about last night you want to talk about?"

Yeah. He wanted to tell Zack how pissed off he was at himself. He wanted to tell Zack, that he felt the urge to go to court and get custody of Maddison just to get back at Val. But how low was that? That wasn't who he was. And it wasn't who he wanted to be. So instead, he bit his tongue in hopes that his feelings of revenge would subside.

"No," he muttered.

Zacky didn't look impressed but he didn't push it anymore. Instead, he drove the rest of the way in silence again. It made Matt feel sick. He knew Zacky was hurt. They were suppose to be best friends. The kind that share problems, not keep them from each other. After all, Zacky had no gain from learning of Matt's lapses in judgement.

But before he could appologize, Zacky was parking in a small parking lot. Matt recognized Gena's car. But that wasn't the only car that caught his attention. The other car was only going to bring trouble.

***

"Hey, babe," Gena greeted Zacky softly, standing up from the table to kiss him on the cheek before letting him sit down beside her.

Matt followed closely behind, glancing around looking for the driver of the other car, but he couldn't see her. And that was because she was already sitting at their table.

"Hey, Matt."

His eyes narrowed at Melanie as she patted the empty chair beside her across from Gena and Zacky.

"Hi," he muttered before taking the only seat that was left for him.

"How are you?" she asked sweetly.

He side glanced at her before deciding to occupy his eyes with the menu, even though he wasn't really in the eating mood, "I'm fine," he replied.

He could feel both Gena and Zacky scrutinizing him, and a quick glance up confirmed his feeling.

"Have you talked to Val yet?" Gena asked before taking a sip of her water.

"No," he sighed, unable to avoid the conversation any longer, "but it's looking like I'm going to have to do that."

"Oh no," Melanie gasped, placing her hand on Matt's arm, "what happened with you and Val?"

Matt pulled his arm from her grip. The touch of her fingers on his skin sent memories a flying, and he didn't wanna go there again. Not to mention, she cared nothing for Val. So what she was so concerned about was beyond him. "Nothing important," he replied, "what are you doing these days?" he asked, trying to shift the conversation.

It seemed to work because she smiled and lifted up her menu, "I think I'm going to go back to school."

And that's all it took to send all four of them into a healthy conversation about education.

***

Austin hadn't been quite done the advertiement she was working on when James came in and offered to take her for lunch, so he'd promised to come back in an hour for her. And he stayed true to his word. Now they were strolling down the side walk, passing other tall office buildings on their way to a small sandwich shop a few blocks away.

"So how have you been?" he asked, dipping his hands into the front pockets of his jeans as they walked. He was nervous, and it wasn't hard to tell.

Austin smiled to herself as she kept up to him. "Alright," she didn't want to delve into her relationship with Matt, which in fact, was the only sketchy part of her life right now.

"That's good," he grinned as they approached the small restaurant. They decided to eat outside at a table shaded by an umbrella. They ordered drinks right away and soon they were left alone again.

"So, umm," James ran his hand through his hair, "I just wanted to make sure I didn't cause problems between you and Matt at the concert the other weekend. He looked pretty pissed, and you left him without saying goodbye."

Austin was amazed that James had been paying that much attention. But the truth was, if he was so worried about it, he should be checking in with Matt, and not her.

"He was mad," Austin clasped her fingers together, resting her hands on the table, "but he was also pretty drunk," she locked eyes with him.

"Was he mad about us?" James asked tentatively.

Austin nodded. "Yes, even though there is no us."

The look he gave her caused her to revise her statement, "meaning that we're not seeing each other behind his back," she locked eyes with him.

"You're right," he confirmed after a moment, "we're just friends."

"Then why does this feel so awkward?" she laughed softly, trying to ease the tension that was straining in the air between them.

"I don't know," he rubbed the back of his neck, "I guess it's because at some point I'd hoped there would be a you and me."

Austin wasn't entirely sure what to say. At the beginning, she thought there might have been potential for a them as well. But that was until she ran into Matt again. And that had sent her world into a tail spin. Ever since then, nothing in her life has been for certain. Nothing except for one thing. Matt would always be there in some aspect of her life.

"Matt and I, we're such a complicated thing," she didn't know how to explain it to herself let alone someone else. "You know, we grew up togther, it merged into something more, something fairly serious, and then, it fell apart in one night. But every day, for the next five years, there wasn't a time when I wasn't thinking of him. And now that I've physically spent time with him again, I know there is no way that he'll ever go away. Maybe physically, but never emotionally."

"Isn't that setting yourself up for disaster?" James asked her.

She thought about it for a moment. If she was to enter another relationship, then yes. Hanging on to Matt was setting herself up. But she didn't want another relationship. She wanted Matt.

"Yeah I guess, but I don't think I'll ever have to worry about that."

"Do you plan on marrying him?"

That question hit her like a punch to the stomach. Marriage was so far off in her mind. She just wanted to make it through with Matt until the end. If at some point, he wanted to get married, then maybe. But right now, they needed to just work on them.

"Maybe one day," the waitress returned and took their orders.

"Well I'm happy for you," James said finally, smiling up at her, "I'm glad you're getting what you want."

Austin thanked him and they chatted idly on other subjects while they ate lunch before deciding to start walking back to her office.

"Well friend, I guess it's my job to make sure you get to work safely," James joked as they began walking back in the direction they first came.

She grinned at him as they waited to cross the street. She was glad that she was able to get things straightened out where he was concerned.

***

After lunch, Melanie had offered to buy everyone ice cream. So they'd drove to the ice cream parlour on the beach where she use to work. Now they were sitting in the sand, enjoying the sun, licking melting ice cream from their fingers as it dripped.

Matt's cell rang and he laid back in the sand to retrieve it from his jean's pocket.

Zacky glanced at him curiously as he answered. "Hey."

"I need you buddy, I don't know what to do."

Matt glanced at Zacky, his pulse nearly coming to a complete stop making his skin cold even in the sunlight.

It was Rev. And something was very wrong.