Click

“You should forgive him,” Shane said, sitting down across from me and putting his elbows on his knees. I put down my mascara and spun around in my chair to frown at him.

“Why? He lied to me,” I said.

“Not really,” Shane said, shaking his head. “He just left out some minor details.”

I turned back around to face the mirror and pinned back my curled hair. I had gotten to the school a half an hour earlier than I needed to so that I actually had time to get ready instead of having to rush around everywhere as Amanda’s sub. I really couldn’t wait until the weekend so that I could just lie around and do nothing. The one good thing that came out of finding out that Blade was Nathaniel and the boy in the mask was that I didn’t have to get stressed over thinking about three separate guys. Unfortunately, I didn’t want to think about any of them anymore.

“It’s been ages since I started talking to Nathaniel,” I said, sighing. “How the hell was I supposed to know it was Blade? Some things just didn’t add up.”

“He left hints,” Shane replied. “I’ve known for a while. I just didn’t want to say anything because it wasn’t my place but I thought you’d know that it was him when he told you his name was Blade. One of the times he was calling you, I caught him and made him explain everything. He just wanted me to keep it a secret because he didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Fat lot of good that’s done him,” I mumbled, putting my chin in my hand. “This shouldn’t have happened, you know? I just can’t understand how I was so stupid. Everyone else saw it. How could I have missed it?”

“ He really does care about you, Christabelle.”

“How am I supposed to believe that?”

“Because it’s Blade,” he said. “He’s never purposely tried to hurt you and you’re his best friend. Why would he get pleasure from making you miserable?”

“Because he’s a jerk,” I answered under my breath but Shane heard me anyway.

He frowned. “He’s really not a jerk and you know it. You were crazy about both sides of him, whether he kept it a secret from you or not.” He stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets. “At least talk to him again. He told me you ignored his texts but he really wants to hear from you.” He headed for the door.

“You seem to know a lot about this,” I said, turning and looking at my shoes. “There’s one thing I don’t get.”

He stopped where he was and looked over his shoulder at me. “What?”

“He was over at my house one day and we were talking to Nathaniel,” I said. “How is that possible? He couldn’t be in two places at once.”

Shane shifted and cleared his throat. “Uhm . . . please don’t get mad.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Then don’t give me a reason to get mad.”

Shane bit his lip. “Well, that day, I was the one who you talked to on the computer.”

My eyes went wide and I slowly rose out of my seat. “Excuse me?”

“He asked me to,” Shane said, putting his hands up. “When he went to the bathroom, he was actually making a call and he asked me to log onto his user and talk to you. It wasn’t that he was messing with your head or anything. He just wanted to see how you really acted when you were talking to his other side.”

I scoffed. “You played me,” I said, shaking my head. “Is anything you just said true?”

“What?”

“How am I supposed to believe anything you say if this whole time, there have been two boys masquerading around as another person? Two boys that I did trust.”

“Chris, calm down—” Shane started.

“No, I’m not going to calm down, Shane. You both lied to me!”

“Christabelle, wait. Let me explain, okay?” I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to do just that. He must have felt a little intimidated now because he looked really nervous. He sighed. “It wasn’t like we both just decided ‘oh, let’s mess with some poor, innocent girl’s mind and make her think we like her’ because Blade did like you. He still does; a lot more than he’s ever liked any girl. That’s saying a lot for him. At the beginning, it was just him but when I saw him trying to call you that day, he said he really needed my help because he wanted to be with you but he also wanted to know how you felt about him without asking directly.”

I frowned, but despite my anger with both Blade and Shane, my shoulders became less tense and my arms started to lower to my sides again.

“He’s not a bad guy, Chris. He just cared too much,” Shane said. “He logged on the first day just to check out the site but when he realized he wasn’t the first person that thought it was ridiculous and you sent him a message, he fell for you like, the minute you two started talking. You mean more to him than you know. He just . . . he wanted to make sure that you liked him for who he was on the inside and not just for the stereotype he’s developed over the years.”

“Why should I believe you?” I asked, narrowing my eyes. “You say you helped him but how would I know the difference if you both acted the same way towards me? You got it all memorized and made me think you were a good guy, Shane. Now both you and Blade know more about me than anyone else does. Not even my parents know some of the stuff I told you. How many times have you been playing Nathaniel? Was this just a trick to you? Was it just a game?”

“No! Look Chris, I helped him out the one time because he wanted answers. He didn’t want to pursue you if you weren’t available to him or if you were just completely shut down. He wanted to know that he wasn’t wasting his time trying to befriend his way into having your first. He fell for you as both people and it doesn’t matter that I pretended to be him. It was only once and you didn’t feel anything for me. Besides, the conversation was so short that it didn’t even really resort to anything,” Shane explained.

I threw my hands up. “Blade was there!” I said. “Every conversation with Nathaniel resorted to something! It doesn’t matter how short it was because every one of them meant something!”

Shane ran his hands through his hair. “Chris, look . . . do you feel anything for me?” he asked. “Just, standing in front of me right now, can you say that you feel any type of attraction towards me?”

I shuffled uncomfortable. “I don’t want to say the wrong thing.”

“You’re not saying the wrong thing if you’re telling me the truth,” Shane said, laughing. “I’m not going to get offended or anything if you don’t. It doesn’t bother me.”

“Well, all right. No, I don’t,” I replied. “I only think of you as a friend.”

“Exactly,” he said nodding. “But you’re crazy about Blade, aren’t you?”

I groaned. “I don’t want to be. I want to hate him so badly right now.”

“But you can’t,” Shane said, tilting his head and smiling.

I sat back down and sighed. “Maybe this is what my dad meant when he was constantly telling me not to get involved with boys. They break your heart,” I mumbled. “Love stinks.”

Shane laughed. “Talk to him, Chris. We all know you’re secretly happy that he’s Nathaniel and the guy that kissed you at Trix’s party. Am I right?”

Yes, unfortunately he was right.

I looked up at him and glared. “You’re a pain in my ass, Kendrick.”

He grinned. “Give him another chance. I know he’s not going to screw up again.”



A knock on the change room woke me from my daze of just staring into the mirror, thinking about Blade and everything that had happened in the last couple days. It was going to be so awkward onstage with him tonight but I had to just suck it up and make it through the play without any complaints.

“Come in,” I called, sitting up straight and looking over as the one person I least expected to walk into the room did. Amanda crossed her arms over her chest and stared at me, expressionless.

“Hello,” she said bitterly.

“Hi,” I said. “What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to talk,” she replied, closing the door. I gulped. Now that she and Blade were over, she didn’t have a reason to threaten me or send insults my way unless she just wanted to but right now, she looked like a woman on a mission and it was pretty intimidating to be in the same room as her, alone. She stepped toward me and I crossed my legs.

“Did you and Blade kiss last night?” she asked. “During the play, when you stole my part.”

“I didn’t steal anything from you,” I said. “You took my part first. Marcy and Kayti were just getting it back for me. I didn’t ask them to do it.” Amanda snorted.

“You expect me to believe that?” she asked. She put her hands on either side of the chair I was sitting in and leaned forward. I leaned back, wanting to get as far away from her as possible but I didn’t really have much of a choice. “I heard that Blade played you.” She smirked. “Too bad for you. He’s just a heartbreaker, isn’t he? Breaking up with me and then fooling you into thinking he actually has feelings for you. I’m just giving you a warning, Chris. Stay away from him or you’re going to get hurt. Not by me; he’ll handle it himself.”

“Is everything okay ?” Marcy asked from the door, sticking her head into the room. Amanda looked over her shoulder and when Marcy spotted her, she scowled. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m just visiting,” Amanda replied, standing up straight. She headed for the door and glared at Marcy as she passed. Then she looked back at me. “Keep that in mind,” she said, and then left. Marcy turned to me with her eyebrows raised.

“What did she say to you?” Marcy asked.

“I think she threatened me again. I’m not entirely sure,” I replied, scratching the back of my head. “She warned me to stay away from Blade or I’m going to get hurt but she said he was going to do it; not her. I don’t know, it was . . . weird.”

Marcy frowned. “Ignore her. She’s just trying to get to you again. I thought she was over Blade but I guess not.” She glanced at the clock on the wall. “Anyway, are you almost ready? You go onstage in like, fifteen minutes.”

I nodded and stood up, smoothing out my dress. “All right. Let’s get this over.”


I headed back to the change room to get a drink of water after I had been onstage the first time. Blade and I had kissed on the lips this time but after we went back into the wings. When I was on my way back to the dressing room my bag was in, someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a different one. The light was out and I squinted, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the darkness. The person closed the door and I whirled around to face them, waiting for them to reveal themselves to me. They turned on the light and Blade stood there. I sat down on one of the chairs.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Marcy told me that Amanda came in and talked to you,” he said. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. It wasn’t even that big of a deal,” I answered, crossing my arms.

“Look, I know that she said someone about me hurting you but—”

“Why do you care?” I asked, scowling.

“Do you really think I’m that awful of a person?” Blade asked.

I raised my eyebrows. “You’re honestly asking me that question?”

“Chris, I’m a good guy.”

“Well I used to think that,” I said, “until I found out that you were all three guys I was thinking about. And you pretended to be someone you weren’t.”

Blade shook his head and sat down in front of me. “I’m still me,” he said.

“That’s really hard to believe right now.”

“Look, don’t listen to Amanda. I don’t even give a shit about her.”

“Why do you think this has anything to do with you and her? I don’t know why you feel it’s necessary to defend me,” I said. “You’re not being chivalrous. You’re making up for your wrong-doings before with all the stuff that went on between us. It’s not going to work and I can handle Amanda just fine by myself. You don’t have to swoop in.”

“Why do you always deny it when someone offers to help you?” Blade asked, frowning. “I get that you’re independent but I’m trying to do a nice thing here. It’s not because I’m trying to make you forgive me for the Nathaniel thing or the kiss at Trix’s party. I don’t even see why I should apologize for the kiss. I’ve liked you from day one and that was the perfect opportunity to clear my head of wanting to kiss you for so long but not being able to do anything about it.”

I scoffed. “Well isn’t that sweet.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. No matter what, I kept thinking about you.”

"It doesn't matter! You still lied!"

Someone knocked on the door and Mr. Sadusky’s voice boomed through to our side, telling us that we only had two minutes until we had to get back onstage, and then he walked away. I ran a hand through my hair.

“I don’t understand where you get off thinking I need saving,” I said. “I’m not a little girl anymore, and it’s not like I’m incapable of taking care of myself. I can handle things on my own and I don’t always need you around.”

Blade stood up. “But you want me around.”

My eyebrows shot up. I got back onto my feet as well. “Why are you coming off so cocky all of a sudden? This doesn’t seem like you or Nathaniel. Are you starting to see why I doubt you? It’s why I think you’re pretending to be a guy that you just aren’t. Who am I supposed to believe?”

“Believe me!” Blade exclaimed. “You told me that you were crazy about Nathaniel and you told Nathaniel that you were crazy about me. I honestly don’t give a shit how much you object to it. I’m good for you, Christabelle and damnit, you’re good for me too. So I know you think I’m the one on the high horse right now but it’s you and I think you need to get off it long enough to realize that I’m crazy for you and I’m not just going to give up because I made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. So you can say no and fuss about it all you want but you and I both know, these feelings that we have for each other aren’t just going to go away.”

I stared at him, not knowing what to say. “I—”

Blade stepped toward me and put his hands on my shoulders. “Look, I’m sorry Chris, for everything that I did. I don’t think I can stress that point enough but I don’t know what else to tell you to convince you that you should be with me. I’m hoping that this was enough but that’s really up to you.”

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but again, Mr. Sadusky knocked on the door.

“Come on, guys. Let’s go!” he said. Blade sighed and stepped back.

I bit my lip and walked out of the room before either of us had the chance to speak again.


I grabbed my bag and hoisted it over my shoulder before heading out of the change room. I sent Mr. Sadusky a wave and then stepped outside. My dad was supposed to pick me up so I headed for the parking lot where his car was places but I stopped when I heard Blade’s voice from behind me. I turned to face him as he ran up to me.

“Wait,” he said. “I need to know what’s going on with us.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. I . . . I need to think about it. It’s a lot to process.”

“But Chris—”

“Blade, please,” I said, closing my eyes. “You have to see things my way. Until you understand, I don’t think it’s going to work because of all the trust and all of the secrets and how that just went downhill because of one thing you kept from me. I need time.”

Blade swallowed and nodded. “Okay. But just for the record, I’ve never told anyone about the things you told me. I’ve kept them as secrets. I would never do that to you.”

My shoulders dropped. “It’s not that, Blade, but I have to go. My dad’s waiting for me.” I turned and started to walk through the parking lot but I stopped myself about five steps off the curb. I looked back at Blade, whose gaze flicked from his shoes back up to my face. He put his hands in his pockets and tilted his head. “You know what the worst part is?” I asked him. “Every time I thought about Nathaniel, you were always in the back of my head and I felt guilty for that because you were my friend and he was the only guy I should have had feelings for but what I felt for you was ten times stronger than what I felt for him.” I swallowed hard and crossed my arms over my chest, letting out a deep breath. I felt pathetic saying these things to him when he was just standing there looking guilty as ever. At least he had confidence when he said what he did. I could hardly even look at him. It was even worse that my eyes were beginning to get blurry. “In the end, it hurts because it wasn't even really your fault. After a while, it felt like I was settling for him because I couldn't have you but every time you looked at me, I wasn’t even able to think straight and it made me forget him.” I wiped my eyes. “I should go,” I said but Blade caught up with me again.

"Christabelle," he said almost pleadingly. "We both know there's something here. Why is this a bad thing?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I just can’t do this. I can’t look at you without feeling ashamed and I can’t think about you without feeling heartbroken. I need to get back to my old self so I would really appreciate it if you’d let me try.”

I walked toward my dad’s car now.

“But the old you didn’t even believe in the idea of falling for someone,” Blade called. I stopped and looked over my shoulder at him.

“Exactly.”