Weak, But Not Defeated

The Evergreen Cemetery stuck out like a sore thumb in the desert of Tempe, Arizona. It was lined with trees and marble stoned fountains placed strategically, taking on the appearance of a kind of oasis, extremely paradoxical considering the inhabitants.

At the entrance were tall oaks just barely gaining more leaves from the frigid winter months. Farther into the lawn elm trees sprouted, providing shade on almost every white headstone.

But as you entered the heart of the cemetery, there were the sad-looking willows. They hung low and melancholy, as if to remind every visitor of the lack of joy a place like this harbored.

Maddie had never been a fan of cemeteries. It stemmed from Halloween when she was eight years old, and Carly scared her half to death by taking her to a haunted house.

But here she stood, underneath one of the miserable willows, staring at the name on the headstone. Carly Ann Riggs.

She placed the daisies down on the stone, letting a tear slip down her cheek. She took a step back, letting the boys behind her have their turn. Maddie took a look at the graves next to her sister’s. Nameless stones stood, reserved for her parents.

An empty spot was next to Carly, just in case Maddie chose to be buried there. Her parents had created the family plot when Carly died, but did not dare to lay a stone for Maddie out of superstition, and she was grateful.

Maddie felt an arm wrap around her shoulder and smiled when she met Jared’s light eyes. She turned into him, hugging him.

Jared had been Carly’s best friend, in the truest sense of the words. He stuck by her even when the rest of the group had given up on her. The two had instantly clicked when they met at the ripe age of ten, and were virtually inseparable.

Even when she made her choice to drift away from the friends that had always carried her, no matter how hard Carly tried, she could never shake the influence of Jared Monaco. He was there for her always and in his own way made her feel guilty for every choice she made. Jared was that little voice in the back of Carly’s head, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

He knew that with a little bit of charm and guilt he could get Carly back to the girl she had been before she started surrounding herself with the wrong people. And he didn’t even know it had worked until he found out Carly was pregnant. Jared had no idea she had been sneaking around with Kennedy, but the only thought in his head when he found out was at least it was Kennedy’s baby.

Jared loved Carly. He wasn’t in love with her and she wasn’t in love with him, but on this day one year ago he lost a best friend.

John and Carly had always been close, but Carly kept her distance, because she was positive he had a thing for her little sister. But John had been the one to hold Carly when she was crying, or hold back her hair when she was throwing up. John O’Callaghan and Carly Riggs were the perfect friends. They were the most alike in the group; big hearts, welcoming smiles, and most of all, fun.

John had been the first one to attempt to lift her from the low place she was in. His voice had drawn her in and the lyrics he wrote for her had surely saved her from herself.

“Carly, sit down right now,” John directed as he sat down on the couch, placing his guitar on his lap.

“I have somewhere to be,” she said, annoyed.

His eyes traveled her body, disapproving of her scantily clad figure, “Yes, you do. You need to go to your grandmother’s house and see what she thinks about that outfit.”

Maddie laughed as she walked down the stairs, Kennedy behind her, Carly shot her a dirty look and Maddie stuck out her tongue.

“Sit down, Carly Ann, or else I’ll punch you right in the face,” John said.

Carly looked to Jared for support from the chair to her right, he nodded and she reluctantly sat on the low table facing John.

“Is this another intervention?” she asked.

“You bet your very exposed butt it is,” John stated.

“You guys, I’m so over this. I’m not getting into trouble, I am fine,” Carly said, trying to be very clear.

John leaned into her, “Carly, your fifteen year old sister walked in on you snorting cocaine, I do not think you’re fine.”

Carly rolled her eyes, “It was one time.”

“Just listen to this song, please,” he begged.

Carly looked to Jared once more, a guitar now in his hands; reassuring her that this wouldn’t be completely unbearable.

“Fine,” she conceded.

“Wait,” John halted, “Daises are still your favorite, right?”

“Of course.”

“Good,” he said as he and Jared began to strum their guitars.

“I picked you up and lifted your wilted frame into the sun. I was taken back, yeah I was taken back. And by the time I caught my breath, you had blossomed into something that I did not expect.

“And if it takes all night, I swear I'll wait, for you, forever. Sunlight, sunshine, all for you my daisy. We're getting this before you leave, all for you my daisy.

“You're a wreck and you know, you've got me wrapped around your finger, like a boy tangled in vines, but I've figured you out. And now we're here, we're so confused, and I wish that there was some way that I could tell you.

“All for, all for, all for you my daisy.”

Carly stared at her feet, avoiding her friend’s and sister’s eyes. They were really only trying to help her, she knew that. But as she noticed how her younger sister sat smugly next to Kennedy or how she effortlessly always seemed to draw John’s attention to her beaming blue eyes and flawless smile, she couldn’t get out of this mindset.

The mindset that she wasn’t good enough, or loved enough, that she wasn’t as awesome as her little sister was crippling.

Carly rushed for the door. She let it slam behind her as she let the summer air hit her skin. She began walking to her car, but stopped when she heard the front door close. She expected to see Jared, waiting for one of his big hugs and reassuring smiles. But instead she stared at Kennedy Brock as he walked awkwardly towards her.

“Why did they send you?” she asked.

“I volunteered. Listen, Carly, I just really don’t understand what’s happening to you here,” Kennedy shook his head.

Carly scoffed, “Don’t act like you care, Kennedy. Just go inside and play house with my little sister.”

Kennedy rolled his eyes, “You were my friend first, Carly, I will never not care about you.”

Carly stared into his honest, emerald eyes. Kennedy had always been good looking, and the Riggs sisters had always known it, apparently. In an instant she leaned forward, attaching her lips to his.

His lips weren’t inviting her, but she invited herself, and he certainly did not decline. After only a few seconds of hesitation he gripped her hips in his fingertips, having no idea that their first kiss would turn out to be the one that would ultimately change his life forever.

“Anyone want to say anything?” John asked quietly.

Maddie shook her head, still under Jared’s arm. He rubbed her shoulder before walking away from her and standing on the other side of the stone, facing his three friends but staring at the white stone.

“Well, Carly, I miss you, kid. It’s really messed up how you got taken from us. But the hardest part is knowing how much of a life you had to live. How much of someone’s life you will miss,” he said. “You didn’t deserve what happened to you. No one does. But we’re taking care of each other. Maddie is here. I haven’t told her about how much you missed her when she was in England,” Jared said, drawing a smile from Maddie’s lips, followed by a stream of tears.

John pulled Maddie into a hug as she cried into his chest. He held onto her tight, the familiar guilt of a secret building up, as Jared finished his speech.

The group said their goodbyes, all of them knowing they would probably be back later in the day.

Maddie had driven with Kennedy, and as she got in his car she couldn’t help but bring up the topic from last night.

“Kennedy, please tell me what happened that night.”

He sighed, “You’re positive that you want to know?” Maddie nodded her head and Kennedy took in a breath, “Let’s get some food.” He stated, pulling the car into the parking lot at a diner.

Once the two ordered their food Kennedy spoke, “Carly was living with my family and I. We already had an extra room for the nursery, and we knew we would need help from our parents. My mom and dad were at a party, with your parents. Carly and I were sitting in the nursery, playing with Emma.

“We sure did good, didn’t we?” Carly asked, admiring her daughter.

“She’s going to break some hearts, that’s for sure,” Kennedy replied. “She looks like you.”

Carly blushed, “Is that your roundabout way of a compliment, Mr. Brock?”

“Of course it is,” he said, placing his hand on top of hers.

“Have you spoken to Maddie lately, Kenny?” she asked quietly.

He pulled his hand away, running it through his hair, “Not since she left.”

“Do you love her?” Carly asked.

Kennedy stared into Emma’s eyes which matched his, but before he was able to answer the two heard a noise from outside. Kennedy stood and slowly walked to the door. He looked out into the hallway and saw the front door was ajar.

“Carly,” he whispered, “Call the police.”

Carly’s eyes went wide as she dialed the three digits into her cell phone, whispering in a panicked tone to the operator; she held Emma in her arms.

The woman on the other line told the two to stay quiet in the room and that police were on the way. Kennedy took Emma in his arms, as the young family stood in the corner of the room.

After only a minute of waiting the door that Kennedy had closed slowly opened. A man in his mid-twenties dressed in black entered, gasping when he saw the people in front of him.

He nervously pointed a gun at them, his hand shaking. “Don’t say a word.”

“Listen, you can take whatever you want, just please put the gun down.” Kennedy said cautiously as he lay Emma in her crib.

“You don’t get to direct me, kid,” he said loudly.

“Okay, okay. Just calm down.”

The police siren rang faintly down the street, “Is that for me?” the man asked. The couple stayed silent, the only sound was the siren getting closer.

“Just stop now, okay? My dad is a lawyer and if you hurt us he will rip you apart, so if you just give up now you’ll get off light,” Kennedy said.

“Or I could kill all of you, then myself, and then everything would be fine,” he said casually.

“You don’t want to do that,” Carly spoke.

They heard the police rush in, running down the hallway. The man cocked the gun, reluctantly pulling it back to his own temple. But the police busted in, startling the man before the gun made it to the desired position.

He pulled the trigger on accident; even Kennedy knew. But the bullet punctured Carly in the chest, immediately killing her.

Tears welled in Maddie’s eyes as Kennedy walked her through his flashback. “This was a mistake,” she said, standing from the table. “I’ll walk home.”

Maddie ran out of the diner that was in close proximity to John’s apartment. She knocked furiously on his door; he answered and Maddie fell into his arms, crying.

She lifted her face to him, “John, I need my best friend.”

He pulled her inside and led her to the couch, “Maddie, I can’t do this without-”

“John, please don’t start this,” Maddie interrupted him, crying harder.

“No, no, not that,” John soothed.

“What is it then?” she asked.

“Maddie, I caught Garrett cheating on you.”