Weak, But Not Defeated

“Okay, its official, Maddie is never coming on tour with us again,” Jared said flatly.

“What!? Why not?” Maddie asked from the front seat, turning to face him.

“Last night you took up the entire back seat. That is not going to fly, baby,” John said from next to Jared.

“Well if you would have let me bring Gilbert maybe I’d feel a little bit more comfortable,” Maddie retorted.

“No stuffed animals!” Kennedy said from the driver’s seat.

“I hate you guys,” Maddie said, bring her knees to her chest and resting her head.

The group had been traveling for an entire day, driving from Arizona to Washington. They would play the first show in Seattle and work their way down the coast.

Finally, Kennedy put the car in park in front of the venue. “Where is my favorite person ever?” Maddie asked John.

“I don’t know, why don’t you call him?” he asked, already knowing exactly who she was talking about.

“Nope, I never call him. We have this weird sense of finding each other when we’re in the same place, it’ll happen,” she said as she climbed out of the van.

Maddie was immediately tackled to the ground and when she looked up a boy that was breathing heavy grinned wildly at her.

She smiled, “Eric Halvorsen, where have you been all my life?”

“Madeline Riggs, I love you so much. Thanks for never calling me, you big fat jerk,” he said.

“Hey, love is a two-way street, pal,” she said. “Will you get off me?”

“Is that really what you want?” he wiggled his eyebrows.

She laughed, “Shh, not here. I think John will get jealous that you’re with me and not him” Maddie said, loud enough for John to hear.

Eric lifted his head and looked at John, “Oh. Johnny boy!” he yelled as he jumped up, hugging him.

John hugged him back, “Long time no see, bud.”

“Yeah, this whole thing with us being a part of crazy successful bands is really tearing at our friendship,” Eric said sadly.

“It’s making you so humble, too,” Maddie remarked as she carried a box from the back.

“So, you guys dating yet?” Halvo asked John and Maddie.

John rolled his eyes, “You know she’s dating Garrett.”

“Well, I figured something was wrong since Gare bear drove up with us,” Eric said.

“I guess I should probably talk to him, huh?” Maddie asked John.

He shrugged, “Probably.”

Maddie sighed, “Eric, take these boxes.”

He rolled his eyes, “So demanding.”

Maddie skipped into the venue, finding Garrett immediately. He was speaking to who Maddie presumed were members of the other bands. “Can I talk to you?” she whispered in his ear.

“I’m a little busy, I’ll talk to you later,” he said, not looking at her.

Maddie stepped back, literally being taken aback by Garrett’s tone. She wasn’t expecting him to be angry, though she probably she should’ve.

“Okay,” she said, embarrassed as she began to walk away.

“Wait! Stay here,” Maddie heard. She turned to face the group and a boy with long brown hair was smiling. “You’re doing merch for The Maine, yeah?”

She nodded her head, “I’m Maddie.”

“I’m Austin. This is Kyle, we’re in Forever the Sickest Kids,” he said.

Maddie recognized the band name and knew they were headlining this small tour. She felt badly she didn’t know them and lied, “Oh, yeah, I knew that. You guys are great.”

Garrett sighed as he stood up and he grabbed her hand. He pulled Maddie away and into a separate room. “Talk,” he directed.

“You don’t have to talk to me if you want to hang out with them. Really, its fine,” she told him.

“Just talk, Maddie,” he said, tapping his foot.

“I’d rather not speak to you when you’re acting like this, honestly,” she said, becoming irritated.

Garrett took a deep breath, “Do you want to go for a walk?”

“Do you?” she asked, unbelieving.

He rolled his eyes as he clutched her hand. He pulled her out of the venue and onto the streets of downtown Seattle. Only a few blocks away there was a park full of trees that shaded most of the area. It was already cold but the characteristic rain of Washington was nonexistent at the moment.

Finally, Garrett stopped pulling her along and just held Maddie’s hand as they walked side by side. They were silent as they walked in the park. Maddie stared at her shoes as they absorbed the water left in the grass; Garrett surveyed the trees around, still dripping water from the recent rain.

“I don’t want to keep having the same fight, Garrett,” Maddie finally said.

“Neither do I,” he told her. “So what do we do?”

“First, I need you to believe me when I tell you this is not about Kennedy. You were right, it used to be. I’m sorry that I denied it,” she said.

He smiled, “I like when you apologize. It reminds me you’re not perfect like I always think you are.”

She laughed, “So that’s a good thing?”

“Keep talking,” he said.

“Okay, so, my reasons aren’t about Kennedy. I’m okay, now. The reason I won’t get so physical with you is because it’s not what I believe. We haven’t even been dating for three months; it’s just not enough time. I waited for two years to sleep with Kennedy,” she said.

“So I’ll have to wait two years?” Garrett asked, eyes wide.

“I don’t know, Garrett. I won’t give you a time, because I do not know. So this is me, take it or leave it. Now you know where I stand. I want to be with you but this is where I’m at,” she said.

Garrett stared at their intertwined hands. He brought Maddie’s hand to his lips and kissed her skin softly, “Maddie, I want to be with you, no matter what.”

“You do?” she squeaked through withheld breaths.

“Of course. But I need a compromise. I respect you, Maddie. I need you to promise that someday we’ll get past this stage. I need more. Not sex, just more,” he entreated.

Maddie bit her lip, “I understand.”

“I missed you a lot these past few days, Madds. I need you in my life and this isn’t something that will end our relationship. But for God’s sake, stop running to John every time we argue. I love the kid, but I don’t trust his advice,” Garrett told her.

“Garrett, don’t start. This isn’t even about John,” she said cautiously.

“It’s always going to be about John. I know you’re over him and he’s your friend, but he still doubts us. And every time you run to him to complain about me it justifies his opinion, and I don’t want that,” Garrett said earnestly.

“Neither do I,” Maddie said honestly.

Garrett smiled as he stepped closer to Maddie, “So, fight over?” he asked, hopefully.

She looked up at him and confirmed it, “Fight over.”

Garrett smiled as he shook his head before putting his forehead against Maddie’s. “You amaze me, Madeline.”

“I try,” she smiled.

Garrett closed his eyes, “Promise me we won’t fight over this again, and that if we do we’ll talk it out immediately?”

Maddie stuck out her pinky and Garrett twisted his around it. “Deal,” she said.

“Always stay on my team?” Garrett asked.

“We’ve always been a team, boo. That won’t change,” Maddie told him.

Garrett’s lips turned upwards into a smile, “That’s exactly what I needed to hear,” he said before he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her like he’d never let go.