Breathe, And For A Moment Enjoy The Freedom In This Perfect Chaos

Its been one month since my mother nearly died. Its been 3 weeks since I've talked to either of my parents and its only been 1 week since I moved back into my own house and out of my comfort of my lovely boyfriends house. Today is the day my mom is coming home. The doctors have decided that she is stable enough so that if we wish, we can bring her home and pay for home care. The only reason I knew any of this though was that the hospital had left a message on our answering machine yesterday. So now here I am sitting in a silent house waiting for them to arrive.

Finally around noon the front door was pushed open and my father appeared. Behind him was a nurse wheeling my mother into the house. She looked tired and unhealthy which was to be expected. I hadn't seen her since my last visit, which obviously did not go over so well. I watched from the couch as the three made their way down the hall into my parents room where I had noticed a new bed had been placed in the center of the room, one that I'm assuming would make her treatments easier. The nurse, a young redhead who looked in her early 30's, was the only one who glanced at me as they passed. I know I fucked up with running and hiding but is this really all necessary? Couldn't they have just given me the cold shoulder for a few days then forgive and forget especially in a time like this? In my pocket my phone vibrated and I fished it out seeing a new text from Brendon.

you okay baby?

I sighed and started typing my response, hating the answer.

No. They wont even look at me. I think I'm disowned.

that bad? rly?

you have no idea bren.

ah shit my moms making me get off and do hw. i love you you'll be fine and if you need me in there in a sec jus say the word.

I smiled at the last message and pondered how I had managed to get to lucky. I lifted myself from the couch and walked down the hall to my own room. As I passed my parents room I could see my mom laying down in her new bed, my dad standing next to her. Both of them smiling at each other. When my mom looked up to see my standing there her smile faded into a small frown. My dad turned around and scowled before slamming the heavy wooden door in my face. This doesn't hurt.

"Spencer I really have no clue what to do here." I whined into the phone and I laid on my bed later that night. I had attempted to talk to my parents by making them dinner but that backfired since they gladly accepted the food but simply my father took it into their room and shut the door making it obvious I was not invited to the picnic.

"I don't know what to say to you man. There's not much more you can do besides sucking up like crazy and just being there. I mean its both your faults. You disappeared and they should've been there for you. You're only a kid, man." He told me, earned another sigh from deep within my lounges.

"I'm just so scared something will happen and I'll have to live with the idea that on her death bed, I wasn't there with her. I wasn't in the room, I didn't know what was happening. Fuck Spencer I don't even know whats wrong with her other than she had a puncture in her heard from a broken rib!"

"Ryan. Chill."

"I can't chill Spence! My mom might be dying in the next room and you're telling me to chill?" I practically screamed, all the anger and frustration within coming to a head and about to burst.

"Ryan!" He screamed making me slow down my rampage for a moment, "Ryan. I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?"

Deep breath Ryan, deep breath. "Yeah, I'm calm."

"Okay. You're mother, is stable. She is not going to die in two seconds. If the doctors thought she was unstable they wouldn't have put her on home care. Now, you my friend, need to kiss some serious ass to get back on their good side. All three of you are on edge here and this needs to be dealt with carefully. Don't step a single toe out of line, and that should get you in the circle a bit more. We can take it from there but for now lets just get to that point. Got it?"

This is why I keep this guy around. Hes good for this type of stuff.

"Thank you Spence." I finally managed.

"You know i got your back. Now go make them some tea or some shit like that I don't know."

I chuckled and we said our goodbyes before I made my way out to the kitchen to start the water. When I entered the room I saw my father sitting at the table, beer in hand, his facial expression stating that he was deep in thought. I tried to be as silent as possible but I guess that wasn't good enough because soon my dad was quickly standing up and knocking his chair over, swaying slightly as the booze shot to his head.

"You little fucker." He snarled, his feet bringing him closer to my body. I stayed silent and tried to shrink as he cornered me against the counter.

"It's because of you. You're the reason shes not getting better!" Okay wow. How the fuck do I manage to not make her better? The question burns in my mind but I don't dare ask the drunken man slowly leaning into me, his hands in fists.

"They say she needs the will to fucking live. But she doesn't see the point when her own fucking son wont see her on her death bed! What kind of ungrateful little shit are you?" He screamed his face not an inch from mine, his hands traveling up towards my neck which made my chest clench.

"If she dies. It's all your fault." He picked up the now boiling pot of water and swung it at me. I felt the heat skim my cheek as I ducked just in time. The water splashed out burning both of our bodies. I felt the burn against my cheek as he stepped back and saw my curled into a ball in the corner of our kitchen.

"Fucking pathetic." He slurred in his drunken state before dropping the pan with a thud to the floor and exiting towards the bedroom. Tears poured from my eyes, I cried for my injuries. I cried for my patheticness. I cried for my mother. I cried for my father. I cried for this life that was slowly turning from perfect to horrific. All I knew is that I needed Brendon. I slipped the phone from my pocket and tried my best to punch in the right numbers with my shaking hands. Finally after the third try I got it right and he picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Bren?" My voice shook as I choked out the short name.

"What happened?" He gasped, hearing the panic in my voice.

"I-I n-need you. P-please come g-get me." Was all it took before he hung up and i knew he
was on his way. My savior.