We Had Too Much Time, Too Much Us
1/1
Too much of anything is too much.
I still had his t-shirts lying in my bed, under the comforter and over the sheets. I still had his gifts, and the flowers on my dresser, and in the droors, I had the card he gave me. I still had all the pictures up around the room, and I still had the smell of his skin lingering on mine, everywhere I went, no matter how many times I washed it away, it was still there.
I missed him, I admit. He was the best part of my day. His smile was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen, and the way I would make him smile, was the best thing I could ever do.
We were "that" couple. We were always together, we were happy, we had our whole lives ahead of us, and nothing was stopping us. We were going to do it together, or not at all.
Maybe I shouldn't have always been clinging to him, and following him around like a lost puppy, but he was the one he showed me where to go, and when everyone else was around, I felt like I needed to fight for his attention.
Maybe, he should have accepted the girl he fell in love with for who she was. Not the girl other people wanted to see. Maybe he shouldn't have thought they would care about the way I carried myself.
Maybe, we should have talked about it, then it wouldn't have come to this.
Cleaning out my bedroom was the hard part. I found things, and they reminded me of him. I was shaking, even though it was warm in the room, there was something cold in between the written words and the now empty picture frames. All the beautiful memories had wilted and faded away like the flowers, falling to pieces all over my floor.
He was gorgeous. No one else seemed to see it the way I did, but I didn't even care. It meant I was the only one with my eyes on him. When he smiled at me, I never felt better.
Everything starting slipping away, and I don't know how. One day he was there, the next day, he wasn't. I tried, but when I tried, he took it the wrong way. He said things that broke my heart, but I shook it off.
We fell apart faster than we fell together.
We were laying under the stars, which would normally be beautiful, and I would normally, be happier than anything in the world, but I wasn't.
He had his arms around me, and didn't even notice, how the entire time, I was crying in to the pillow our heads were resting on.
He never noticed.
The first couple months we dated, we were so happy. There was nothing wrong, he never wanted me to leave, and I felt the same. It was the first few months, we were in love, after that, it was gone. We had been suffocated by the love we thought we had. That, was probably another reason I was burning photographs.
When it was over, it hit me hard. I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't be alone without crying. The sun started coming up, in the morning after, and everything was harsh and bright. It was like everything wrong in the world had been amplified. There was nowhere to go, nothing to do, without a hole eating it's way through me.
I've been working on it. I've been smiling. It's going to be okay, someday. Maybe.
Too much of love is too much.
I still had his t-shirts lying in my bed, under the comforter and over the sheets. I still had his gifts, and the flowers on my dresser, and in the droors, I had the card he gave me. I still had all the pictures up around the room, and I still had the smell of his skin lingering on mine, everywhere I went, no matter how many times I washed it away, it was still there.
I missed him, I admit. He was the best part of my day. His smile was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen, and the way I would make him smile, was the best thing I could ever do.
We were "that" couple. We were always together, we were happy, we had our whole lives ahead of us, and nothing was stopping us. We were going to do it together, or not at all.
Maybe I shouldn't have always been clinging to him, and following him around like a lost puppy, but he was the one he showed me where to go, and when everyone else was around, I felt like I needed to fight for his attention.
Maybe, he should have accepted the girl he fell in love with for who she was. Not the girl other people wanted to see. Maybe he shouldn't have thought they would care about the way I carried myself.
Maybe, we should have talked about it, then it wouldn't have come to this.
Cleaning out my bedroom was the hard part. I found things, and they reminded me of him. I was shaking, even though it was warm in the room, there was something cold in between the written words and the now empty picture frames. All the beautiful memories had wilted and faded away like the flowers, falling to pieces all over my floor.
He was gorgeous. No one else seemed to see it the way I did, but I didn't even care. It meant I was the only one with my eyes on him. When he smiled at me, I never felt better.
Everything starting slipping away, and I don't know how. One day he was there, the next day, he wasn't. I tried, but when I tried, he took it the wrong way. He said things that broke my heart, but I shook it off.
We fell apart faster than we fell together.
We were laying under the stars, which would normally be beautiful, and I would normally, be happier than anything in the world, but I wasn't.
He had his arms around me, and didn't even notice, how the entire time, I was crying in to the pillow our heads were resting on.
He never noticed.
The first couple months we dated, we were so happy. There was nothing wrong, he never wanted me to leave, and I felt the same. It was the first few months, we were in love, after that, it was gone. We had been suffocated by the love we thought we had. That, was probably another reason I was burning photographs.
When it was over, it hit me hard. I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't be alone without crying. The sun started coming up, in the morning after, and everything was harsh and bright. It was like everything wrong in the world had been amplified. There was nowhere to go, nothing to do, without a hole eating it's way through me.
I've been working on it. I've been smiling. It's going to be okay, someday. Maybe.
Too much of love is too much.