Venom and Hope

After all that, we were walking back to the bus area when Jazz decided that she needed Chap Stick.

Random? yes.

A bit weird? not for Jazz.

"Chap Stick?"

"Yes Gerard my son, chap stick."

So we all walked into a Walgreens, Mikey giving me a piggy back ride because my feet were bleeding from my new shoes, and Jazz ran off to look for Chap Stick. Mikey put me down, said something about batteries and went away. That left me and Gerard all alone. Well, not counting the 15 year old girls who were following us ever since we left the pizza place.

"Hey Roz, can we talk?"

"Uh, what are we doing now?"

"I mean-" He looked around. "Alone"

Man, someone is paranoid. "Okay" He grabbed my hand and dragged me into the bathroom. It was the kind that are unisex and made for one person. He locked the door.

"Wow Gerard you sure don't waste any time do you?"

"What?...oh it's nothing like THAT. I just needed to talk to you in private."

"And you chose a bathroom? Just a tad unconventional." I made a weird gesture and leaned back against the sink, taking off my patent leather heels and lining them with paper towels.

He looked at me like I was crazy. And maybe I was, but it wasn't like he was in a position to judge. I mean, I wasn't the one who dragged their ex-girlfriend to a Walgreens bathroom to talk.

"Yeah, so we had a good time today right?"

"Yes" He had to be in private to talk about having coffee and pizza? What a loser.

"Kinda like old times right?"

"Um, not quite. You weren't drunk and I wasn't injecting anything, but other than that ...Yeah I guess so."

"Ha ha, you're right" He ran a hand through his hair. "Sooo..."

"Is that all?" I slipped my shoes back on and crossed my arms.

"No, um I was thinking things over, and I wanted to apologize again. And I meant what I said about how I always thought about you. I sabotaged every single relationship I've been in since you. Subconsciously."

"Yeah, well I couldn't stay engaged because of you" I finally realized why I couldn't work things out with Reeve. Gerard and I never got closure. I didn't give myself time to get over him.

He laughed. "You were engaged?"

"Yeah" I was laughing too. I'm not really sure why though. I felt like the most hopelessly pathetic person on the planet.

"We're pretty sad aren't we?!"

"You got that right!"

"No but seriously Roz, I never got over you completely and-" He paused and grabbed my hand, which gave me fucking goose bumps.

"I think I still, well I do still love you Roz"

I was speechless. This could not happen! Gerard was supposed to hate me so I could move on and be happy for once. "Gerard don't-"

"No, I love you and you don't have to say it back but I know you feel something too. I just needed to tell you that"

"Uh, er... I bet Jazz and Mikey are wondering where we are."

His smile faded. "Yeah"

We made our way to the front of the store to find Jazz flirting with the check out clerk. I rolled my eyes. Some things never change.