Venom and Hope

"Where are you taking me?" Gerard and I were on our "date" and he refused to tell me where we were going.

"How many times do I have to say that it's a SURPRISE"

"So many times that you finally crack and tell me?"

"Nope, sorry not gonna happen" I pouted and pushed my chest out a little but, he just shook his head.

After about ten more minutes of my whining, the car finally stopped in an almost vacant parking lot.

"We're here!" He got out of the car and I did so too.

"This is it?" I looked around, slightly scared for my life. "You're not gonna kill me or anything are you?"

"Good guess, but no, not today. We're here for the concert"

"Concert?" I silently counted the number of cars in the lot; a whopping seven.

"Yeah, these guys sent us an email asking if we could check out their band and the newspaper said that they were playing tonight, so I thought what the hell"

"What were you doing reading a New Hampshire newspaper?"

"I like to know what's going on in the world, unlike SOME people"

I rolled my eyes as he grabbed my hand and led me to a small club. The guy at the door collecting money, stared at us wide eyed, obviously noticing who we were. I winked at him and pushed in closer to Gerard.

Once inside I was dragged to a small table in the back. I guess he didn't want to be seen with me or something.

"What's this bands name anyway?" I asked as he let go of my arm after almost yanking it out of its socket.

"Pay the Piper."

"Never heard of them, are they any good?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll find out."

About ten minutes later the band started their set. They defiantly weren't what I had expected but, I have to admit they weren't bad. Though, it was a little surreal to be sitting across from Gerard drinking ginger ale and listening to a New England soft rock band.

When the set was finished, I made Gerard slow dance with me. (He refused to dance normally) and we left at about 11:30.

He walked me to my bus and I gave him a sweet peck on the lips.

"Thanks for tonight"

"No problem, I had fun"

"So did I..." we both just kind of stood there, in the dark for a minute or two.

"I guess I better go. I'll see you later."

"Bye Gerard" I watched him walk away and felt a pang of regret deep in my stomach. I shouldn't have gone on that date. I was just leading him on now. I felt like a horrible person.

I tried to sneak back on to the bus without anyone noticing, but with Jazz that's impossible. As soon as the door opened she was there, asking questions.

"Where'd he take you? Did he try to kiss you? Are you two back together? Will-" I put a hand over her mouth.

"We went to see a local band, I kissed him and I don't think we're going to get back together" I removed my hand and hid in my bunk, feeling a sudden emptiness take over me. I missed the normality I felt with Reeve.

Jazz appeared at the other side of the curtain. "What's wrong?" She pulled the curtain back when she didn't get an answer. "Honey why are you crying?!"

I buried my face into my pillow and sobbed silently. Jazz laid down next to me and rubbed my back.

"Did Gerard do something?"

I shook my head.

"Then what's wrong?"

"I miss him" was all I could get out between sobs.

"Oh, Roz. I know you do but you have to get over him sweetie"

That only made me cry harder. Jazz pulled me into a hug and I just sobbed into her shirt. It took me a while to find my voice.

"He told me he loved me" I looked up and stared blankly at her.

"I know sweetie, but you're not engaged anymore"

I shook my head. "No not him. Gerard."

She pulled back a little. "Huh? Tonight?"

I shook my head again. "In New York, when we were at Walgreen's"

"And what did you say?"

"Nothing"

Jazz thought for a couple of minutes. "Why don't you get back together with him? He could help you get over...him."

"That's what you said when I left Gerard and now look where it got me"

"But Gerard's not like Reeve-" I flinched at his name. "If he loves you he'll find a way to stay together. You just need to talk to him"

"My head hurts"

"Maybe you should just get some sleep. We have a show tomorrow night."

I yawned as she climbed out of my bunk. I heard Katrina and Jackson ask Jazz what was wrong before I drifted off to sleep.