Venom and Hope

The release show went well. As a matter of fact it felt great. I loved performing again and part of me was a tad bit excited about the tour. And it wasn't just me, the audience was mad into every song we played. As for the party, only two words could describe it. Fucking Awkward.

"Jazz do you feel as out of place as I do?"

"Only if you feel like the fat kid at the eating disorder clinic."

We were standing in the corner, watching all the dyed black hair blondies who looked like an exact duplicate of Ashley Simpson, run around trying to talk to as many "important people" as they could. They were only there to try and change their image from a good girl to a bad ass rocker chick. In my opinion, they were failing miserably.

"Maybe we should find Katrina; she's probably bashing some pretty girls face in right now"

"Good idea" We plunged into the sea of people and tried to look for Katrina, but she was lost.

Then I saw him. Jazz was two steps away from passing by his group until I grabbed her arm and pulled her away.

"What the hell Roz!?"

"Look who's here!" I pointed to them "The fucking justice league"

Jazz looked, counted and turned back to me. "Wait, aren't there 5?"

"No" I looked back and counted as well. "Just 4, Mikey, Ray, some dude I don't know and Gerard."

Jazz looked at me. "Where's Iero?!" I guess she jinxed us because guess who jumped right beside me two minutes later.

"Well, if it isn't my two favorite ladies in the whole world. Where have you all been?" He put his arms around us.

"Fuck off Iero!" I growled.

"Only if you help me, my dear Roselyn."

I pushed him off my shoulder and slapped his arm. "You are a piece of shit, do you know that?!" I grabbed Jazz's arm and tried to walk away. He followed.

"Who are you looking for? Gerard?"

"None of your goddamn business!"

"You two are mean!"

Jazz hit him this time and made him whine. I found myself holding back a laugh.

"Frank, just go away, we don't want to talk to you right now."

"Hey! You called me Frank. I guess my devilish good looks finally had an effect on you then Roz."

"Not quite." I rolled my eyes, turned around and bumped right into the person I was avoiding. Well him and my mother.

"Whoa, sorry...Roz?!"

"Yeah"

We both just stood there in silence like complete idiots, staring at each other with our mouths open.

"Sooo, how have you been?"

"Good, and you?"

"Good"

More silence

"So when are you two going to get back together?" No one can make awkward situations even more awkward like Frank can.

"We're not!!!" I almost screamed at him. Gerard's face was blank.

"Oh okay. You two are just gonna be fuck buddies, right?"

"Oh god! I'm leaving!" Gerard caught my arm.

"Don't go! I want to talk to you."

"If you wanted to talk to me you should have done it last year!" And with that I left him still standing there with a hurt look in his face.

I didn't really have anywhere to go, so I went into the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I was alone for about ten minutes before I heard the door open and high heeled foot steps on the tile floor.

"Roz?"

"I'm not in here!!!" I yelled back.

"Tyler wants us to talk to some press now"

I opened the door and stepped out of the stall. "Since when do we listen to everything Tyler says?"

"Since always."

"Well now I don't."

She sighed. "Roz"

"Jazz"

"You should talk to him."

"Fuck no! Then he'll make me do press against my will"

"Not Tyler you dumb ass! Gerard."

I glared at her. Was she crazy?
"Are you crazy!?"

"So what if I am, I still think you should at least talk to him. He wants to talk to you."

"Well I wanted to talk to him a year ago but he didn't care then, so why should I care now?"

"Because you still have feelings for him?"

I opened my mouth to talk but no words came out. She was wrong! I still didn't have feelings for Gerard… right?

"I have seem to hit a soft spot."

I rolled my eyes. "whatever."

She went over to the mirror and stared to touch up her make up. "Why is just talking to him such a big deal? Maybe he has a good reason why he never called you."

"Uh huh, sure he does."

She turned towards me and then all of a sudden she did the little 'IJustThoughtOfSomethingReallyExciting' dance. "What if Gerard wants to get back with you?"

"Oh god Jazz, don't scare me like that!"

"No I'm serious, maybe he just had to take time to work up the courage to ask you out again."

"I don't think so, anyways I would never go out with him again." As I said that, I knew I wasn't so sure. But at least I convinced Jazz.

"Alright, but don't tell him that yet, I want to see how he would ask you out."

"I'll make sure you see it if it happens. Let's go find Katrina."

We both left the bathroom and ran right into Tyler, who was talking to a random writer from a magazine.

"There you two are, we've been looking for you forever."

"Well, here we are. But if you'll excuse us, Jazz and I are on a mission."

The writer wrote something down on his notebook, but when I tried to read it, he kept moving it from my view.

"That will have to wait, I want you to meet..."

I didn't hear the man's name, I had walked away before Tyler finished his sentence. Jazz followed me.

"Damn! I've never seen you walk away from Tyler like that."

"Yeah well I really didn't want to talk to that man."

"Oh man, Tyler is gonna be pissed at you!"

"You too!"

"No"

"Yeah, you followed me"

"SO!"

I sighed and out of the corner of my eye saw Gerard walking towards me and Jazz. I wanted to run away and hide but my feet wouldn't move.

"Roz, can we please talk? I really have to tell you something."

"Fine, talk now."

He looked around and frowned. "Can we go somewhere more private?"

I rolled my eyes and pretended that I was calm but my heart was racing a mile a minute. "Fine."

He led me out to an empty hallway and made sure no one else was around. "I want to tell you something."

"Well I want to tell you something too."

There was silence. I think he was waiting for me to continue.

"Well, you go first." I folded my arms and waited for his answer.