Venom and Hope

I struggled as I dragged my oversized, packed suitcase down the stairs from the our apartment on the 5th floor. I had a fear of elevators since I was 7 and got stuck in one for an hour during a major blackout. When I finally got outside everybody was already packed up and ready to leave.

"Jeez, Roz that bag is bigger then you!" I was way too tired to hit her so I just made a mental note to bother Katrina on the bus. She was right though, I could probably sleep comfortably in my suitcase but I had a lot of shit so I didn't care.

As soon as everything was loaded in the van, we made our way to the airport, which due to city traffic was about an hour journey.

Of course Jackson got stopped at security; they always think he's a druggie or something just because he had dreadlocks, tons of tattoos and was in a band. That made us the last people on the plane, to everyone else's disgust. For some reason certain people found our manners appalling.

"Roz I'm bored!"

"Than do something." I was sitting in between the window and Jazz, who had finished her book and couldn't find her ipod.

"I don’t have anything to doooooooo!" She put her head on my shoulder.

"Well that's not my problem now is it?" I, unlike her, was perfectly fine with sitting quietly and looking at the clouds. But Jazz has a touch of A.D.D.

"So how are you today Roselyn?" She asked in sing-song.

"Cranky!"

"That sucks."

"Yes, now leave me alone or I'll probably just make fun of you or something." Like Jazz ever really listens to me, right?

"Nice weather today isn't it?"

I pushed her head of my shoulder and glared at her. She just smiled back.

"Freak"

"Wench"

"Wench? That's a new one."

"Yeah, I'm trying to expand my vocabulary." I rolled my eyes and turned away from her. I felt her sift in her seat and try to keep still, but the silence was killing her.

"Hey Roz?"

"What?"

"Are you as excited as I am for the tour?"

"Probably not"

"Why not? You should be" This was going to be a long plane ride.

"And why should I?"

"Because you love to tour."

"Yes. Yes I do." She smiled evilly.

"You just don't want to see Gerard, right?" I didn't respond to that.

"You were gonna run into him sooner or later."

"Okay but I really don't want to talk about this."

She put her hands up. "Alright fine with me...come on! You know you'll have fun."

"Ahhh! What did I just say?"

"Gerard is not the devil; he'll leave you alone if you want him to."

I groaned. "That's not it!"

"Huh?...oooh, you don't want him to leave you alone do you?"

"No! I don't like him." I felt my cheeks getting hot.

Her eyes widened. "What the fuck! Do you still have feelings for him?"

I hit her arm with my shoe. "Shut up!"

"Admit it and I will"

"No way!"

"Fine...but you still loove him!"

"UGH!!! I...I might, possibly, maybe still have the tiniest bit of feelings for him, but that doesn't mean anything!"

She looked pleased with herself. "You're on your way to acceptance."

I glared at her, but I found it hard to be mad at her about this. I still had those strange dreams about him and my stomach turned over every time I said his name. Did I really still have feelings for him? I sighed.

"Why don't you ever have man problems?"

She shrugged. "I guess it's because I 'm smarter than you and I don't fall for losers."

"Gerard is not a loser!" Oh shit! I didn't just say that out loud.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

"No, you just defended Gerard. Aw you do still love him."

"You're mean"

"You're in love"

"I hate you!"

"I love you!"

I groaned and looked back out the window. I felt Jazz turn around in her seat and talk to Katrina.

"She still likes him?!" I heard Katrina say rather loudly. Jackson, who drew the short straw and had to sit by an older heavy set, shoulder pad wearing, women, pretended to shot himself with his fingers.

Jazz just smiled and nodded. I flicked them both off.

"Holy Shit! She does fucking love him!" By that time the whole back of the plane was staring at us again. Jazz smiled and waved to them all.

"Fucking people need to mind their own business."

"Just like you two!"

"No!"

"What, you're not people?"

"Of course we're not. We're your best friends!"

The rest of the plane ride went by really, really slow. Jazz and Katrina would not leave me alone and I started seriously contemplating jumping off the plane and tried to think of ways to get the damn window open.