Foolish Lies

It's pathetic what they tell you when you're a kid. The lies they feed you about growing old with someone.

"Oh deary, you'll grow old with them and you'll live happily ever after."

I scoffed as the memory of my grandmother telling me such a foolish lie replayed in my head. How could anyone be so submissive to that bull shit? I rolled my eyes and wrapped my coat tightly around myself. The night air seemed to be four times as cool as it normally was; and being by the beach wasn't helping matters any. The mist coming from the black water was bone chilling as I sat down.

I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. Taking in my surroundings, I noticed that my pissed off traveling brought me to the one place I'd been avoiding since March. Our spot; the only place on the beach that we ever really went to. It was surrounded by rock on three sides, sand dunes behind them and about a hundred feet of grass beyond that.

Sitting here, I could almost feel him wrapping his arms around me, his chest pressed against my back. The warmth of his touch, the feeling of goose bumps on my neck when he laid his head on my shoulder and breathed unto it. Every little peck, every long, passionate kiss, every hug; I could feel it all. I faintly hear him whispering sweet nothings into my ear; hear him telling me he loved me and that he'd never leave me.

It was all in my head. Brian wasn't here and he wasn't coming back. You can’t bring back the dead, no matter how hard you pray, no matter how hard you plead and beg someone to...it's just impossible.

I'd had my fair share of pleading; of begging and asking for him to come back. For him to play me one last song: to sing me to sleep one last time, to grow older with me for one more day. Tears I had worked so hard on keeping in, leaked from my eyes like water running down a steady stream. I pressed my lips into a tight straight line to conceal the sobs that wanted to escape.

It was hard to believe that I let foolish lies of growing old overcome my life with him. I thought we had all the time in the world to do things. To start a family, to travel the world with him...

My train of thought went blank when I felt someone's muscular arms wrap around me. I leaned into Matt's chest and bawled for the first time in over five months. Crying because I lost the love of my life, the only man I ever thought I'd grow old with, the only man I ever wanted.

Sobs escaped my lips as the best friend of my late husband and I rocked me gently back and forth.

"Shhh, it's okay." He whispered in my ear. "I'm right here." I nodded, knowing that Matt was there, he'd been there since the day it happened. He'd been there so much, Val divorced him.

"Shh, it's going to be okay, Ara." I could barely hear him over my sobbing.

"N-no it's n-not. "I cried into his chest. "H-he's not com-coming back. I be-lieved al-l the l-lies you gu-ys said!" I started pounded my fists into his chest, going into complete hysterics. Matt held me to his chest tightly as I thrashed against him. My words became strung together as my crying grew harder and my body rattled more violently.

Matt kept his hold on me, even after I was finished with my hysterics. He held me around my waist, holding me against his muscular chest. I let silent tears fall as I sniffled and laid my face just above his pec. He kissed my forehead and laid his head on mine.

"Are you okay, Ara?" Matt asked in a whisper. I shrugged and licked over my pink lips.

"Am I supposed to be?" I asked in a whisper. "I mean, I believed everything anyone ever said about us. That we were gonna grow old together, that I was gonna have enough time to have a family with him." I clenched my eyes shut and my mouth into a straight line. "It's not fair Matt, it's not fair that everyone...even him, made me believe such foolish lies."

I buried my head into his t-shirt and cried some more.

"I'm sorry, Arabella. I'm sorry you didn't get to live up to the lies." Matt made known, trying to console me, but all he was doing was making me cry harder. I wasn't sobbing, I wasn't pleading with anyone...I was just letting the tears falls as Brian filled my mind.

"Brian!" I yelped as he picked me up and threw me into our underground pool. I screamed when the icy water engulfed me, only to pop back up with chattering teeth.

"N-not cool." I said crossing my arms over my bikini clad chest. Brian laughed, jumping in beside me. I instantly went over to him when he popped back up and glared.

Brian smirked, that smirk he had when he was Synyster, and wrapped his heavily tattooed arms around my middle. "You know you like it." He said in a low, husky voice; his mouth right next to my ear.

I softened my glare and bit my bottom lip, looking up into his chocolate brown eyes. These were the only eyes I'd ever been so captivated by.

"I love you." He said as he leaned forward, his lips grazing mine.

"I love you, too." I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my lips to his. It wasn't just a kiss, it was everything. He poured every emotion he had into it; his love, his passion, his hate, his annoyance, his hopes and dreams, his fears.

Brian pulled back a minute or so later, both of us panting from lack of breath. He brought his left hand up and pushed my bangs off my face. He was smiling, the same smile he had on our wedding day. I smiled back at him, blushing a light pink.

"I love you." He said again, "And guess what?"

I laughed, "What?"

"We're going to grow old together. We're going to have a family and watch them grow older and have kids of their own." I looked Brian straight in the eyes and vice versa. He was serious.

"You want to have kids?" I asked, wiping some hair from his forehead. He nodded, and kissed my lips sweetly.

"As long as you're the one carrying them in your tummy, I'm down." I laughed at his words and kissed him again, reassuring him.

"I'd love that."

That was the one memory that stuck out the most to me. It was the day before he had his car accident and I'll never forget it. Matt petted my long blonde hair as I grew more and more tired. All the crying had made me exhausted and in all honesty I just wanted to go back home and crawl into bed.

"Arabella?" Matt asked a few seconds later.

"Yeah?" I replied tiredly.

"You want to go home?" I just nodded before standing up and brushing the sand off my jeans. Matt grabbed my hand and we walked back to his Escalade. He opened the door for me and helped me in before going and getting in on the driver's side.

"Thanks." I whispered before he started the truck.

"No problem." He said back; letting his truck roar to life.

The drive with Matt was silent, minus the quiet music that was coming from his sound system. I leaned my head against the window, watching the beach roll on for miles as waves crashed unto the shore. It was peaceful, it was relaxing and soon my eyes were shut; and I was in a land of dreams and memories.

I was laying on Brian and I's bed, half asleep, when I felt butterfly kisses being trailed up my bare back. I giggled lightly as the butterfly kisses turned into small pecks unto my neck and jaw line.

"Babe, it's six o'clock in the morning, why are you up?" I questioned sleepily, keeping my eyes closed. Brian just wrapped his arm around my torso and rolled me unto my back. I lazily opened my eyes and peered up at my husband.

"I love you." He said smiling down at me.

I grinned up at him, "I love you, too."

"Let's make a baby." He said sounding like Jimmy on a sugar high. I laughed and shook my head at his behavior.

"I love you to death and beyond, but why do you want to have sex at 6 in the morning?" Brian smirked and ran one of his calloused hands down my bare side.

"Because you're beautiful and I want to spend the rest of my life watching our kids and then our grandchildren grow old." He lowered his head, rubbing his nose against mine, the cold metal of his nose ring making me shiver slightly.

I lifted my chin slightly, pressing my full lips to Brian's thin ones. I closed my eyes as our lips moved together, butterflies erupting in my stomach. This was going to be magical.

I was awaken by Matt picking me up and carrying in bridal style.

"Matt?" I mumbled, rubbing my eyes, "What are you doing?"

Matt chuckled lightly before putting me down and letting me steady myself.

"Can you walk?" He asked as he pulled his keys out of his pocket.

I rolled my eyes and walked to the front door. "I'm pregnant, Matt, not cripple."

Matt chuckled and shook his head. "Yeah, but you're six months pregnant… and you have been really tired lately; not to mention you fell the other day." Matt concluded, unlocking the door. I shook my head and walked in, kicking my shoes off in the hallway somewhere.

"How can you live in here? It's so...spacious." Matt commented walking behind me. I merely shrugged and headed upstairs. "So are you coming over tomorrow? I think the guys want to see you."

I pondered for a moment; I had not seen them for almost a month. "Yeah, count me in." I smiled back at Matt and opened my bedroom door, flicking the light on. He just stood there as I waltzed over to my closet and got out one of Brian's old t-shirts and a pair of shorts. I could see Matt debating over what to do; he was still a little weird when it came to being here and in this room.

"Okay, well," Matt sighed and walked over to me, and hugged me, my stomach kind of getting in the way. "Love you, Arabella." He kissed the top of my head and and I hugged him tightly.

"Love you, too, Mattie." I said using his nickname from when we were kids. Matt let go of me and rolled his eyes, smiling so his dimples showed.

"Later, Kiddo." Matt walked out of the room and I waited until I heard his truck start before I stripped down and got changed. Pinkly was nowhere to be seen, so I whistled for her. Her collar's jingling could be heard all the way up in my room from the living room. I had to laugh at her, she was just a little puff ball. She jumped up on the bed as I pulled the covers back and turned the light out.

"Night, Pinkly." I cooed as she curled up next to my stomach. I looked down and rubbed my stomach a little. "Night, Brian." I said to the fetus growing in my stomach. I closed my eyes and laid back, slipping into a world where all the foolish lies of growing old were true and I still had my Brian.