Death Is Never Permanent

Matt went home with me that night, we didn't say a word to each other at all...he was just there.

And to be honest, I missed when he was with me... I didn't cry, in fact I felt somewhat relieved to tell someone else...There weren’t to many people that (from what I knew) actually knew about what I had been through. For some reason a weight seemed to me lifted off my shoulder- But I didn't know why. I hated Lucas...not as much as I hate my “dad” per-say but he was high up there on the “hate list.”

I'm also not sure why for some reason I was okay with people touching me... Matt and Jasey that is… Jasey was sort of a given, she wouldn't hurt me because she couldn’t even hurt a fly and I guess the same, sort of, with Matt. I trusted him; at least I think I do. I know that he would probably kill himself if he hurt me just now in any way and no the past doesn't count- we’ve both I think forgiven each other for that.

-

Afterward, the night that ensued was by far the best night of sleep I had in a really long time.
My cheek was lying against Matt's chest as I was positioned on my side next to his back-lying body. His arms were around my much smaller frame and my arm laid limply on over top his arm which was loosely gripping my hip. It was a rather uncomfortable position, my shoulder aching and back stiff, but I didn't want to move.

Later, with my eyes closed despite being fully awake, I heard a slight crunching sound. I made my eyes open lazily, to see Shimmy setting cross legged on the side of the mattress.

His upper body was crouched down and his forearms and elbows lay on the wooden floor, flat. His face was, because of his leaning, right in front of my own face, staring. His face held an almost strange knowing look as we said nothing, didn’t move an inch, held our breaths and just… watched each other’s reactions. Soon however, he broke the stare and looked down; for the first time I noticed the huge bowl of cereal pretty much laid on the bed…he picked the ceramic bowl up, sat up and began shoveling the wet colorful fruit-loops into his mouth. I sighed lowly before attempting to lift my head, for the first time that morning off of Matt’s chest.

And then Shimmy smiled hugely at me. Oh shit.

“Mornin’ sleepy head, who’s the lucky guy?” He whispered. Okay one, creepy he's like hovering over and watching us sleep... And two, we didn't sleep together, but my God if we did...wake up naked and BOOM! There's Shimmy breathing down your neck. Hello? Whose fucking apartment is this supposed to be? Could I at least get some sort of privacy? Maybe, for fucks sakes!

“Morning?” I grumbled trying to move but Matt tightened his grip on me. I only managed to set up.

“What time is it?” Rubbing my eyes some I looked around.

“Um...9.” My eyes had to have bugged out.

“Matt, let me go!” I yelled and pulled at his arms from around my hips. He let go quickly and sat up as well, now awake, while I rushed over to get my uniform and eventually go into the bathroom.

“HI! I'm Shimmy!” I could see Shimmy smiling and holding out a hand as I pulled the skirt on over top my jeans, then pulled the jean off underneath to replace them with the leggings, pulling them quickly up my legs. I watched Matt look at Shimmy like he grew another head before eventually they shook hands. Awkward moment.... yet utterly hilarious.

“Maattttttt.” He introduced himself in a sort of weirder out voice as I slipped on my Vans.

“Yeah I kind of got that with the “freak out”.” Shimmy mentioned laughing and looking/ pointed over to me and my glaring face.

“Well excuse me for “freaking out” because I'm late for school, you KNOW damn well I can’t be late or else!...SO why didn't you wake me the fuck UP!” I yelled ripping off my shirt to expose my tank top; I didn't have time to change that item of clothing so I just put on deodorant and the white dress shirt before rushing inside the bathroom again, this time to wash off my now ruined makeup. Matt appeared at the door leaning up against its frame.

I looked at him through the mirror, “What the hell?” he mouthed making me smile and shake my head. Yeah Shimmy's a little crazy or hum what’s the right word for him, um... eccentric? I swear he's a crack head some times. Just then, I heard a crash and a “fuck” muttered and we both laughed looking out of the bathroom trying to see what he's doing now.

“This is who you choose to associate with… AND have as a roommate?” Matt whispered as he still laughed in hysterics.

“Yeah, I guesss” I mumbled as I brushed my teeth quickly, the toothpaste was making my voice all most inaudible.

“So school huh?”Matt smiled with an eyebrow raised. I spit out the toothpaste and washed out my mouth with a palm-full of water.

“Unfortunately...” I sighed after spitting out the icky water; groaning as I just as quickly applied a new coat of eyeliner and mascara. I turned and Matt was still standing there, just watching me...or staring. “Shew shew, out!” I demanded pushing him off the doorway and out of the bathroom so I could shut the door and finish in privacy.

I got to school around 10:30 by the time I ran to the place due to the enormous amount of rush hour traffic. I was extremely late and knew the day was going to be a nightmare before stepping one foot inside.

“So Valley?” I ignored the words spoken behind me somewhere, “VALLEY! VALENCIA!” I finally turned my head to see Abby, the girl I met yesterday. I fucking hate the name Valley, to be blunt. Reminds me of Valley Girl, bleh! “Sooooo who’s Mr. Hottie?” I rolled my eyes refusing to answer and walked a few more steps forward towards my destination. “Well?” She continued to bug me, not letting me alone without obviously getting some kind of answer.

“Look Abby, he is no one to me so just drop it alright?” I snapped before walking off leaving her looking at me shocked...yeah I'm not such a nice girl after all, am I? I think she finally realized that. And with that my whole nice girl routine was completely over. Hello to everyone watching everything I do at every moment closely. Goodbye to my so-called, trying to get by with being the good girl, charade.

I was called down to the headmaster’s office, where I also got a week’s worth of detention. And that was major for anyone attending Regalton Academy. To get 1 week’s detention was like, unheard of! Please, hello? I had month’s worth at my last public high-school, and that was just for something petty-ier than being late to class (since I never was on time anyways.)

It was such a grand day... Yeah, that's sarcasm for you.

After I left his office I went straight to lunch, going outside in order to go “exploring” (let’s say,) through the yards. I found a tree that was far away from everyone else but still within seeing and hearing distance of those same people and I collapsed there, groaning as I lay my head back on the hard flakey white and black bark. For the first time I noticed that no one ever did anything here that wasn't by the rules, hell I was wondering if anyone had ever skipped a class. In these two days of my “attending,” not one kid was late to class or left the room to do whatever, they were like damn little robots.

“I need to get out of here.” I said out loud to myself.

“Well I'd say so.” I looked quickly over my shoulder to see the short boy from yesterday holding onto the tree and looking around it, at me from behind. Only the tree separated our bodies from one another. I just rolled my eyes in response to him and looked forwards again. “I know just what it’s like Valley.”

“Oh, my God would you fucking people STOP calling me that!”

“Well seeing as though I'm not able to call you, well...you know what, then what shall I call you besides Valley cause obviously you don't like it.”

“Umm...What?!” I sort of got lost in his rambling on at 100 miles an hour about nonsense. “If you are going to call me anything just call me… Valencia.” I cringed as I said that aloud, regretting it. Only people I liked and people from the club called me Blaire, or Care Bear as we've found out. However I only really talked to my friends and no one else so I wasn’t used to people thinking of me as Valencia because to them, I’m Blaire. Even though I wasn't the fondest of my name I still didn't like these people enough to tell them to call me Blaire either so I had to put up with being called my real name. Although it was strange hearing Valencia constantly, I must admit.

“I'm Alex.” I shook his outstretched hand gingerly, and oddly. Do you know the origins of people shaking hands? If not then trust me, you don't want to know.

“How do you know who I am?” I asked the 1 question circling through my mind at the moment without any consideration for what kind of answer I would get in return.

“Um I'm friends with Luca.” And with that I pounced on him; knocking him down and backwards onto his back as I jumped on him so I was straddling his hips (though not touching him at all.) I bent down and pushed my forearm on his throat while I held the other arms still, with my knees at his sides. He squirmed a lot.

“So you told him I was here, didn't you?” He shook his head ‘no’ and I pushed harder on his throat. “Yes you did...” His face was getting bright red as I loosened some, but not enough for him to be able to tell that I actually did. “Didn't you!” I pushed a little harder again but let up so he wouldn't die...I mean I'm not a killer by any means, I just wanted to scare the shit out of him. Not kill the dumbass.

“Fine I did” I heard him mutter raspily. I let go sending him into a fit of coughs and stood up away from him some. “But it’s not... cause of... what you... think...” He said huffing, trying to get his lungs working right again.

“Ah huh, sure it isn't.” I rolled my eyes.

“No… I'm serious… it… it isn't… what you think...”

-----------------

-Matt's pov-

I spent the previous hour “getting to know” Shimmy. He reminded me of very hyper Ale want-to-be. As well as Jimmy’s twin.

About an hour after Blaire left, so did I; after Shimmy announced he was going to get a haircut. I really didn't need to know that but whatever I guess.

I walked into the lobby of the hotel and Brian came out of nowhere grabbing my arm and pulling me into an elevator. He made me stay inside as the doors closed, I yelled at him and he screamed at me.

“You spent the night with her, didn't you?” He accused me. There was no use in saying no because I knew that he already had come to conclusions and knew I had found her. “Matt!”

“WHAT!” I yelled turning around to look at him in the eyes.

“You....I can’t believe it. In case you fucking forgot you have a girlfriend! You can’t go around spending the night fucking cheating on them with another bitch, even if the girl is Blaire! You should know that by now! How did you like it when you were fucking cheated on!”

“You make if fucking sound like I did something bad, come on Brian you know damn fucking well I didn't do anything with her, I didn't cheat on anyone! You know Blaire isn't like that; she's fucking scared to death of guys getting close to her like that! Don't just automatically think I DID something like that to either of them! ”

The doors opened and I hastily stepped off of the elevator, Brian following afterward, quickening to catch up with me.

“You are going to have to choose one of them Matt, and I highly fucking recommend Jenna over Blaire. Blaire has problems Matt… and you know it, she's just a naive teenager and you aren't. Jenna on the other hand is more mature and actually is in love with you and you should be loving her back...”

“I don't know what to do Brian, I love them both! Okay?”

“You can’t fucking love both of them, it’s one or the other Matt and you know it.”And with that I stormed away into my own hotel room, slamming the door shut. I couldn’t take his lecturing anymore.

He didn't try to bother me again.

------------------

-Blaire's pov-

After detention and a long shift at work, I headed home. The only good thing about my job was that I walked around and basically helped people find whatever books they were looking for; it was quite amusing to see some of the stuff other people wanted and it wasn't a bad job really.

I trudged up the steps and towards my door only to see that someone was setting against it.

“Brian?” I questioned as I walked closer. The person’s head turned to the side and it was him, Brian. He looked upwards at me before he stood up and smiled an almost sad looking smile, something like “I’m-about-to-tell- you-something- I-really-don’t-want-too.”