Death Is Never Permanent

“There is NO fucking way that you are a street racer!” I kidded around, laughing hysterically as Shimmy’s glare was aimed towards me. “You don't even have a fucking car...” He pulled me by my arm down the steps, into and through the crowd towards a bright neon green and candy-purple colored car with white and orange racing stripes along the sides in jagged lines.

“I'm not a mechanic in any way, but I do race. This-This is my car. See that guy over there?” He got close to me so his head almost rested on my shoulder and pointed to a tall blond haired man in a fedora hat, dark baggy suit pants and an unbuttoned suit jacket on top of a bright yellow t-shirt (which just barely was visible). This man was one of the select few who were clothed in a suit; you didn't need to be here all the time to realize that the man Shimmy was pointing to, was important. “His name is Spark... Mr. Spark to most- But he's my boss. I race for him and get a cut out of the total earnings. He has a team to take care of the mechanical stuff...”

Well, well, well Mr. Dramatic...

“You amaze me Shimmy.” I yelled into his ear over the now even louder music. Shimmy smiled his signature (huge) smile and I knew he was happy... as a racer? Weird turn of events. I never would have expected it. I mean sure, he's never told me why he was in jail but I just took it that it was for something petty since he was only in for a few months like me... could he have been sent there because of the racing? You would think, if that was the case, he would be in more than a year.

I wonder.

“Are you racing tonight?” I asked, really wanting to see him race, I was excited. Which was strange in the least; I couldn't really believe it...he didn't look much like a street racer, though I guess that's hypocritical since I don't look anything like an underground street-fighter. Especially in this damn dress.

I glanced down at my body in disgust as he answered

“Me? No fucking way, at least not tonight. Police have been cracking down...there's supposedly some blockade shit happening somewhere between here and the usual destination. No one knows for sure yet but I got this strange feeling... You know? Have you ever looked at a guy and said ‘no fucking way am I fighting him ‘cause he will either fucking kill me or like screw you to the extreme?’" Um no... I thought and shook my head trying to keep from laughing at his usual excited and happy, jump all over the place demeanor.

“Well... Fine then!" He scowled and paused for only a moment and went back to same old Shimmy. "Some are ‘gonna try it but I don't feel like going to jail again- at least not tonight.” I raised an eyebrow at him while he just smiled at me, a lopsided grin that sort of reminded me of Matt and even Zacky a little bit. “So I’m just going to be a spectator tonight, Spark doesn’t want his car trashed or “confiscated”” I frowned at the thought of Matt and Zacky, looking away from Shimmy and barely hearing the last sentence he spoke of. I glanced heavy-hearted around my body at the people everywhere around us, in search of someplace to get a drink. I needed one pronto.

-

After I got completely drunk (no surprise there huh?); I talked Shimmy into taking me to the fight club I was on cloud nine, literally. I easily won against him, trying to convince him and he didn’t seem to care.

Stumbling around outside the doors, I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that the boys who were scattered around outside in little groups, were staring at me; just trying to figure out how to get to me. Usually I would just go up to them and threaten or punch them wherever I felt like doing so, just for them looking at me like they were now, but my senses were all kinds of screwed up. I wasn't about to even try in my state of mind. Like I said, I was barely myself with all the wonderful amounts of various alcoholic mixtures racing through my blood system. I was on cloud nine-

“Whoa, whoa, whoa- no, you aren't drinking anymore.” Shimmy laughed at seeing my swaying and stumbling body, pulling me back by my waist and lifting me up into his arms bridal style. I pouted and huffed. “Told you it was easier to just pick you up and carry you wherever I need to. Saves me time and frustration.” He proceeded to take me through the rest of the parking lot and into the warehouse, me giggling like a little 5 year old the whole time… His hands tickled my sides.

He dropped me off with Jasey and Jermine at the booth before doing anything else in the club.

Fights were already taking place since it was... oh I don't fucking know the time...maybe 2 or something.

“Don't let her near any more alcohol. I have to go do something but I'll be back in about an hour.” I watched them nod as a response and then I watched him start to walk away. I stumbled forward as I stood up from my setting position.

“You're jus’ ‘gonna leeaavve me?!” I screamed in a drunken tone, causing him to turn and smile at my own stupidity,

“I'll be back... I'm not ‘gonna leave you here all alone babe.” Tears filled my eyes as Shimmy left me, I spent the next couple minutes bawling into Jasey's shoulder. Did I mention I'm an emotional drunk... ‘cause, I am... majorly.

After my tears stopped (abruptly, I just…stopped suddenly) I ran my hands over my wet eyes and cheeks. I knew I looked mess; my buzz was wearing off enough to give me a slight/ beginning of a migraine. And the loud music didn’t help any either.

Later on that night I sat on the counter top of the makeshift booth/desk, legs dangling down with the heels on my feet almost falling off, my head was in my hands and my long hair fell in tangled knots around my body.

“So the princess actually decides to show up, huh?” I looked up to see a semi bloodied Lucas jumping up to set directly next to me, our arms even touched a bit he was so close.

Guess he fought at some point tonight... At first he was smirking as he looked on into the crowd but then as he turned to look at me, his smirk faded into a scowl-like-frown.

“What happened to you?” He demanded in question. His left fist clenched beside my right while his right hand was reaching out to touch my face. I shifted away from him and he quickly drew the hand back to himself. He kept looking me over from head to toe, at least what he could see anyways since he was only sitting beside me. Plus I was sitting as well.

I scooted forward towards the edge and let my feet drop the 5 or so feet to the ground with a ‘clink’. I stumbled around with the heels on my feet, which I then took off, and then swayed back and forth as I made my way into the depth of the crowds; trying to get the furthest away I could from Lucas. I couldn’t handle being around him tonight, I just can’t handle it...

I also wanted to go see Ryan and either drink myself numb again or get something to get rid of the migraine pounding in my head, threatening to blow my head into pieces as it exploded.

After lashing out at two shitheads who were trying to grab me and take me wherever they had in mind as I made my way towards the bar, I finally got there.

I knew Lucas was following me because I heard the “shit heads” yell out in pain after a stark punching sound was heard. The crunch of fist on skin and bone was something any fighter got accustomed to hearing; they could pick it out instantaneously. I never turned around once but I heard every threatening word directed at me as well. I could care less to actually respond to those threats; they went in one ear out the other just as quickly as I heard them. I don’t even remember them, they didn’t register.

Going behind the counter I tried to root though the drawers to find some kind of pain reliever, but not finding any I went to the more destructive, plan A... AKA ‘drinking myself even more into oblivion.’

I grabbed a bottle of something I hoped was strong and started chugging it without stopping to breathe for a long while. Finally, when I stopped to breathe, I was being forced; Ryan was prying the bottle easily away from my fingers. At first I started choking, bending over and spitting some of the liquid back out on the floor before me, though I finally stopped and groaned in pain. My stomach felt on fire as I started sinking to the floor in a huff without realizing what I really just did and how my body was reacting to my previous actions.

Arms wrapped around my stomach before I hit the ground and I was lifted up onto the counter. Face to face with...well I'm sure you know by now.... Lucas. Who else would you expect it to be? We just stared into each other’s eyes and I barely even flinched when he wiped away the tears I didn't know were leaking from my eyes.

“You're drunk aren't you care bear?” My gaze shifted to glare at Ryan, the bottle still being held in his hand. My vision was growing blacker and blurrier as my head lulled to the side little by little, my body swayed only slightly but to Lucas who was holding me upright to keep from falling off the counter-top, it was extremely noticable.

“No, now can I have that back?” I asked and pointedlazily at the bottle, the slur luckily was barely audible in my voice after concentrating very, very hard on concealing it.

“I don't know, you probably shouldn't be drinking Myers.” I looked at Ryan like he was insane. What was that supposed to mean- “Dark rum...” OH, ewwwwwwww…

“No wonder is tastes like fuck.” I mumbled underneath my breath, realizing once again that there really is a difference in alcohols, that drunken stupor slightly wearing off. Ryan smiled and chuckled before shaking his head and turning to grab a bottle of coffee flavored Kahlúa off the shelf in front of me but to my left almost halfway down the countertop.

“You're taking away the rum...but giving her that? She's already drunk out of her fucking mind and that shit is like 10 times worse than the Rum.” Lucas spoke laughing at my sudden scowl. I grabbed the shot Ryan gave me and downed it in one gulp. Ummmm, yummy.

“Okay, no more. OUT!” Ryan left no room for negotiation, shooing me out of the bar area after making me chug down a huge glass of water. I wined but went nonetheless, my headache sort of was going away. For now. ‘Sort of’ being the key word, it was still there though pounding unceasingly. However, Ryan and Lucas both refused to give me anything else to drink to take the pain away... They were watching me like a damn hawk. It sucked ass…

Although!

I must add that I managed to steal a few peoples drinks after also managing to disappear out of my new" babysitter's" sight. Babysitter being Lucas, who wouldn’t quit following me.

I scowled but couldn't keep a straight face, I giggled as I was crouched down and watching Lucas spin in circles looking around for none other than me. Yay for hide and go seek! It was rather amusing to see him in scared mode, thinking I would go and do something stupid. Ha, as if...

I crawled around on the ground, not wanting to stand, until some girl kicked me in the ribs. I was just going to shrug it off as an accident considering I am sort of crawling on the damn floor... but then she crouched down to my level and started to say mean things.

Being the emotional wreck I am at the moment, being drunk, I lashed out at her and started punching her as we wrestled around on the dirty floor. Soon after, when she obviously was hurt more so than me, her apparent boyfriend stepped in and took me on. Being in my drunken state my reflexes were extremely impaired... needless to say he, who was a fighter also kicked my ass to a pulp. So now both girls were bloddied and beaten.

I couldn't even fight back so I just laid there with my body in as much of a ball as I could manage and took it all until Lucas was able to get to me. Lucas then started doing what I couldn't to the dip shit. I groaned setting up cradling my head in my hands. My vision blurred and I felt dizzy, I also felt blood running down my neck and face and even more, down my palms and arms. Quickly, my hair became more and more wet as the knots moved across the bare, exposed part of my skin leaving thick, bright red trails of blood.

“Come on I'm taking you home.” I barely heard someone mutter as they tried picking me up. I pushed them away and made myself stand up, the room continued spinning and my vision disappeared almost completely with a head-rush. Feeling an arm wrap around my waist I was gradually pulled out of the room, up stairs and into the cold early morning, the sun barely starting to come up making the skies horizon a faint reddish-orange color.

I was finally forced into a car, where I couldn't get out due to the damn child lock. I knew it was Lucas though... he was the only one smart enough to use it against me. Not even Shimmy would have thought of doing something like that, so for that I give Lucas credit.

I gave up after trying the handle for the second time in less than a minute and sat idly, still.

The hum of the car on the street’s pavement and the soft playing of a person screaming voice in a song put me to sleep before I knew it. All I remember from there was slightly waking up whenever I was being laid on something soft and warm and that smelled faintly of men’s cologne and a form of laundry detergent.

The smell, smelt just like Lucas.

I fell back asleep peacefully, savoring the smell and cuddling more into the softness that held the scent wanting it to consume me entirely.