Death Is Never Permanent

“Oh, there you are Miss Blaire.” My newest parole officer, Jeff mused as he stood up and ushered me over to the island stools next to...my mother. I stood there, still trying to comprehend that the two of them were seriously here…in my apartment. And more than that, they were really acting…pleasant almost. “Take a seat please...” He took one look at Lucas and said “you too young man.” My eyes almost all but popped out of my head entirely; Lucas looked at me weirdly but did as he was told nonetheless, as he saw the police badge. Fucking pussy ass…

“’Sup Jeffie?” I asked still standing where I originally was, but now leaning against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest. My talking, was in my normal “perky manor” when dealing with the “pigs,” otherwise known as the police to most normal people. I call him Jeffie too cause it gets on his nerves, it’s dorky and I find it extremely fun/funny as well.

“Valencia!” My mother scolded in a screech-like yelp “Do NOT talk to him like that!” She shrieked.

“So what, are you sleeping with him?” I snapped, rolling my eyes and looking towards Lucas who was trying with all his will power not to burst out laughing, out loud. Since when did she care about me talking back to cops?

She responded to my “comment” by slapping the side of my face, leaving a bright red mark, I'm sure. I left it at that... Just standing there, staring in utter shock.

“We need to discuss a few things, I'm sure he has something to do with your behavior?” Jeffie went on looking at me like he was trying to read my mind, search my soul; watching my every move waiting for me to squirm under the pressure. Sorry to say it but there really isn't much pressure or tension at all this very moment. “Now, I’m going to be blunt. Sit the fuck down!” His harsh voice met my ears and for once I was actually afraid, afraid of myself and how I was actually telling myself to listen to his demands. Even when he was the unwanted guest and was in my house.

So I made my way to the table, the only left open spot and sunk into the chair… not a single sound did I dare make. Inside I cringed thinking about myself giving into “Jeffie” but that disappeared when Lucas opened his mouth.

“Behavior?” Lucas whispered to me, obviously beyond amused at my current predicament. He still had no clue who Jeffie really is either.( ie my parole officer, and I want it to stay that way... Lucas NOT knowing!)

“Shut the fuck up.” I hissed, annoyed. This is not anything to be amused at! I could easily go back to fucking jail.

“Mind explaining why you haven't been attending school the past 2 days?” I shrugged. “You know that not going is a violation of your parole... Same with you’re not arriving for work, which by the way, you are now fired from...” I gulped; muttering every swear word I knew in every language I learned, over and over. Shit. My head can’t take much longer of this, it’s going to explode...literally. I rubbed my hands up and down my face trying to hide my distress as Jeffie continued further. Oh goodie!

“Do you want to go back to prison Valencia because the way you've been acting you sure as hell prove that you do! You're 17; 17 for Christ's sake! Get your ass together!” I got up with a screech of the chairs legs on the wooden floor and went directly over to the cabinet located directly overtop the sink to get Tylenol and water. At that moment I even thought about swallowing the whole bottle of pills, what are my chances? Will they notice? Probably...

I leaned over the sink, my elbows and forearms holding me up. You want to know my thoughts that I dare never say?

I nevershould have been the one to go to jail.

“Look at me.” I turned and looked at Jeffie over my shoulder, feeling like total scum. “Have you been fighting? Have you been back to wherever you go to fight?” In the corner of my eye I saw Lucas cringe a bit, shifting nervously around in the seat he sat in but I kept my face unreadable, like stone.

I hated lying; you should know that by now. I hated it with such a huge passion but I needed to lie. I knew if I said yes; oh yeah Jeffie, I went, how did you know?- if I told the truth I would be handcuffed right now and put into a police car.

“You have… haven't you?” Jeffie walked over to me only inches away staring directly into my eyes looking for a sign of guilt. Any sort of sign.

“No.” I lied. Mentally I cringed but no one would ever notice, I was good at the whole 'not letting anyone in and seeing your true emotions' sort of thing. Many years of practice go tme to this point.

“You’re lying to me.” I shook my head. “Then care to come up with a story as to how you got all the fresh cuts and bruises? They weren't there 3 days ago when I last visited. And correct me if I'm wrong, but you can't look like that unless you were hit. Falling down the stairs won't give you a black eye... AND. If you were hit- which I can tell just by looking at you, you were- I'm sure you would be fighting back. Am I right?” Man he's good at this whole assuming/ guessing things and situations. He was trying to break me, make me say I was fighting but I wasn't about to. I would deny it until the day I die if I needed to and it would keep me free from being locked up for a second time. “So Valencia, do you have something to tell me? Want to tell me the truth?” Nope, not really; I mused.

“Huh?” He kept pressuring me.

“She was attacked and almost raped in the alley...” Lucas said loudly all of a sudden. My head snapped over to look at Lucas’s face, as did Jeffie's. I cursed him for saying that. I didn't want to owe him anything! He should just sit there, laugh at me in his mind and keep his fucking mouth shut. I don't need him to be talking and making this even more difficult!
I’m going to buried and suffocated with lies before this is all over; and Lucas just dug that ditch a lot deeper.

“What do you mean, and how do you know?” Jeffie asked walking over to get right in front of and directly in Lucas’ face. “You look just as bad, if not worse than her. If rape is her “excuse” then what is yours pretty boy?” He snapped out.

“I found her being attacked in an alley… I went to help her and I fought the guy okay? He hurt her already by the time I got there and then he attacked me and left after I kicked his ass.” Leave it to Lucas to make himself look like he won in every fighting situation, he could have easily let the 'after I kicked his ass' part out. But noooooo, he had to make it clearly known that he was the winner in this imaginary, made-up fight.

“Are you aware of why your new “friend” is on parole? Did you have any clue before now she even was involved with the law?” Jeffie smirked at my glaring face. I was about to pounce and start kicking his ass so he'll leave, and evidently it worked on my “attacker” soo it most definitely would work with him too… If he said anything about my “convictions” I swear I would have but then Jeffie shook his head. “Where shall we start Valencia? Care to tell of your charges?”

“Where do you want me to start?” I mocked him. He gave me the evil eye and so I summed it up quickly “assault, organized criminal activity, procession and dealing, carrying illegal weaponry and whatever else you've add since then...” Lucas didn't even look a tiny bit shocked. He just leaned back on the stool and waited, listening as I quickly listed off the main charges as fast as possible. I really didn't want him to have this knowledge to use against me either. That's 2 things now he can use to get back at me if need be- my being a parol-ie and why.

“What's your name?!” Jeffie almost screamed suddenly scaring the shit out of me. I flinched, I fully own up to doing so.

“Lucas...” Jeffie did a hand motion to continue. He wanted full name, most likely to look him up later on. “Lucas James.” Still Jeffie did the hand motion thing “Lucas Evander James... God” Lucas mumbled, rolling his eyes.

“Birth date?”

“May 20th 1988?” Oh, snap! He's in real shit now. I almost feel… sorry? As if!

“You're 21?” My mother asked looking shocked at him and disgusted as she turned her attention to me. All the more reason to think I'm a whore, now she has Lucas to prove her accusations right. Too bad he isn’t nor will ever be with me. So those accusations willforever be false are false.

“Are you in a relationship with-” Right before this question was asked I for some reason took a drink. At the very words the water came out into the sink and I started choking for air. I should have honestly expected it although for some reason I hadn’t.

“NO!” I screamed still choking, cutting him off. Jeffie eyed me but didn't push that subject any further, thank goodness. I groaned inwardly as the next question came from Jeffie.

“Does your family carry a history of criminal activity?” Lucas looked like he didn’t know what to say, how to answer that. “… Actually scratch that. Do you have any form of criminal record?” Jeffie got in Lucas's face really close like he had to me a moment ago.

I hope Lucas doesn't have a past yet something told me he was a trouble maker... I guess that's a guaranteed though. I mean he iiiisssss Lucas, after all. My attention was focused on what he would say, wondering if it would be true... Is he a “criminal”? Would he lie, knowing that the asshole (Jeffie) will just go right into his computer and check as soon as he gets into his police car; then whenever Jeffie finds out about the lies, he'll come right back up and hassle Lucas ‘till he snaps and assaults him (as in Jeffie). Then Lucas will be arrested...

I really was hoping he didn’t have any charges because as much as I don't care for Lucas I sure as hell don't want him to go to jail because of me.

“Um yeah...” Shit. Mother-

“Care to elaborate?” Lucas shook his head and smiled sarcastically. “TALK!” Lucas took a deep breath and sighed loudly, muttering profanities underneath his breath.

Jeffie is like the protective father you always see on movies and TV, except he isn’t my dad and instead is my own personal police guy...I just realized that. An ‘over-protective, watch every move you make, I’m-putting-you-on-house-arrest,’ father.

“…Theft and disturbing the peace amongst other things.” Lucas mumbled looking at me in the eyes as he said so. I looked away when the conversion shifted back to me. Dammit.

“Well, back to the reason why I'm here. You have 2 choices. Either 1, you go back to Pelican Bay.” Lucas I swear almost jumped up out of his seat; his eyes were locked on my body, watching me widely. Guess he knew what the Bay is? “Or... you take your mothers proposition.” He motioned towards her, pretty much telling her to start talking.

“You will come stay with us until your parole is over.” She said very plainly.

“No, I'm not leaving to go stay with that fucking bastard!” I screamed. There is no way, no fucking way that I am going anywhere near that…HELL-HOUSE!

This time Lucas did jump up and came straight toward me.

“We’ll… be back in a sec.” He grabbed me and pulled me out of the kitchen and into one of the completely empty rooms, shutting the door behind him. He had no clue where he was in my apartment... He couldn’t have known, but then again, that doesn’t matter- “I know what he has done to you babe but you can go there or to prison and I just... I don't want you in prison Blaire... ”

“What I do isn't any of your concern. You don't control my life, if I want to go back to the Bay instead I fucking will!” I gulped as he looked at me sadly.

“I'll come with you...” He took a step forward, towards me “I'll protect you” another “and you won’t have to worry about him” Now Lucas was almost touching me. I looked up at him as his hand came up to my face and his face came closer to mine. “I won’t let him, or anyone touch you.”

And with that he kissed me.

Plain and simple; no “moment” like you see in the movies, no “sparks” or whatever that crap is considered. I blame it all on hormones, and him being an utter jackass. But then again I did actually kiss him back briefly (it wasn’t a make out session here, just to get that clear)- until the door flew open and my mother strolled in looking at the two of us... guilty as charged.

“I want you to take the deal and come with me. Your father isn't home much, so that isn't a problem or whatever you claim it to be, young lady. I don't want to hear about it anymore and you can't always use your hate for him as an excuse. I know you don't like him but he has never done anything to you but love you!” Could have fooled me. Since when is rape considered love? Huh?

“We are having an engagement party and a wedding for your aunt Beth and I want you there... Lucas you are welcome to come as well. Keep her in line; she needs a boyfriend that can control her. You seem to be able to do so a lot better than everyone else-” She glared at me. Please don't tell me this is real; please don't tell me this is real! I prayed until I felt arms wrap around my waist protectively, but still all for show. I wanted to rip them off of me and out of their sockets though I restrained as best I could for the time being.

I knew my mother didn't like Lucas anymore than I didn't like her and my father, OR Lucas for that matter. I wasn’t any of those 3’s biggest fans as you may have figured out by now.

So what does she have up her sleeve? Why is she inviting him?