Death Is Never Permanent

The following day my mother stopped by to inform me she was flying back home to Maine....Yes you heard me right, Maine. Why would she move from one extreme to the other? Because she's crazy and well... she is my mother. She always loved Maine, though for me it was big cities or nothing. I don't think I could live in a quaint little town without going insane, not anytime soon anyways. Maybe when I'm around 70 or so...if I live that long that is.

Which brings us to now, two days after the original “visit” from my mother and PO (parole officer), more like interrogation really. It's a Tuesday morning... 3:17 am to be exact; and Lucas is setting in my kitchen eating God only knows what kind of left over, with a very, very tired Shimmy in the chair opposite him. Shimmy raced tonight (not that Lucas knows that) and just got home. He was a literally walking zombie, I am not only surprised he was able to drive back here but also that he wasn’t crashed on his bed.

I, meanwhile am packing. Why didn't I pack on Saturday, Sunday or Monday you may ask? Well, you try getting tickets this short notice and besides that task, try paying in cash. I swear the airlines had people following me. Then on top of that craziness, try making enough food to last for the next week and a half, for a spoiled rotten brat! And by that I'm sure you are thinking Shimmy, or I hope so because that is who I am referring to.

I made so much food that I never, and I mean NEVER want to cook again in my lifetime. Boys and their eating habits, I hate it! Plus I suppose it doesn't help any when you have two people watching your every move, trying the food out every 2 seconds and eating most of it before I even completely finished cooking it. Let’s just say that “annoyance” didn't last very long... and their eagerness and impatience only ended up in bruises and a few rather bad burns. Serves them right though!

Normally I wouldn't do something like this, prepare meals in advanced for people but Shimmy is the type of person who will only eat candy for the whole week if he had to. Actually he might do that anyways because I just am not here to make sure he doesn’t. Then I would come home, he'd be sick and bouncing off the fucking walls with his hyperness and I can’t deal with that, so I'm going against “the grain” and being nice to make him food. Hopefully he won’t eat it all in one day... But at least I can hope to come back to a normal non-primitive, Shimmy. Hopefully.

So I packed what little I had to pack for at least 10 days, and now am... where I am. I bought luggage on Monday so I do have suitcases though I'm not sure exactly where I am supposed to be getting the “necessities” for the parties. These “necessities” being the evening dresses or any fancy-looking cocktail dress actually. My mother would probably give me the dress that was meant for my Quinceañera- that I never actually had.

For those of you who don't know what that is...imagine this: extravagant white wedding dress meets sweet 16 birthday bash except way more hum, “out there?” and over-the-top and, woman-based? That might be an accurate assessment, in my opinion that is. I never had it because I am not one for extravagant, fairytale type princess-like parties. I thought I could you know, skip out, deny the party and forget about it completely; however luck is never on my side in situations such as these.

While in Maine, Lucas and I are being forced to attend a Quinceaños for my cousin, as party number three of a total of three. No choice in the matter was given, there are no and's, if's or but's. I can’t get out of it, if it meant my life was at stake.

Lucas knows...sorta… but not really...he's excited...but doesn't know what it is... he thinks it’s some kind of Spanish/Latin American type of party with the dirty dancing shit...oh no, no, no buddy boy. Exact opposite. And me being the great person I am, refuse to tell him the truth SO he actually think his thinking is right since I shrugged as he told me his thoughts. I can’t wait to see his face!

Speaking of Lucas, apparently he isn't a suit person- he doesn't own one. SO, there is a problem. I now also have to somehow find a way to be able to go shopping before we arrive to get him a few AND I actually have to fight him in order to get him to wear one. It won’t be a onetime thing either, this is like 3 times for sure, at every one of the parties, plus the dinners at “home” most likely as well because that's just how my parents roll. They always had the fancy dinners despite my never dressing up for them. (They obviously were paid for by me of course.) I don't know if they still do and or how they are being paid for...

Fuck my life!

Oh, and another wonderful aspect to this wonderful trip!...I hate flying, absolutely despise it! After being escorted via the police back to LA what seemed like so long ago.

Well this is about to be one hell of an interesting/ fun trip!!!! I'm so excited...NOT!

-

After 8 hours of waiting in the airport, the flying began(which fyi: was hell with Lucas beside me, bugging me constantly the whole time.) There was a brief layover in Chicago, before we finally were let off in Newark, New Jersey at Newark Liberty International Airport.

Our destination.

From there we picked up a rental car and planned on shopping while making our way up to, driving to Maine. This is Lucas's idea, not necessarily mine though it should work. We can shop and get what we need and we wouldn't have to do the whole staying in New York City overnight thing like we would if the tickets took us directly into Maine instead of Jersey.

We would have to wait an entire day/night before the plane left for Maine so this way, just driving, was the better option in this case. Luckily, no more flying! Although driving wasn’t much better either.

While around the area we did go back to New York City; as was pretty much expected.
Lucas went to a suit shop or whatever and were getting measured/ trying out stuff while took the rental car and went over the Godforsaken bridge connecting the US as a whole to Long Island. Slowly but surely I returned back to the huge mansion that houses my best friends and for a few days housed myself.

I pulled into the deserted, paved driveway in the crystal white BMW and slowly got out, shutting the door lightly and quietly behind me. I locked the doors and took a huge breath in and let it out with a sigh before beginning the timid walk up the driveway and across the grass towards the front door. I still had keys; but at that moment I was debating whether to let myself in...or knock. Most of my belongings were still in there but I've been gone for over a half a year.

Deciding to just go with it and let myself in, I began walking around the bottom floor some. It didn't seem like anyone was here at all; huh, strange I thought to myself. I made my way to my old room, creaking open the door to see someone in “my bed.” It took a moment but looking at the body closer it was Jinx. I decided to scare the shit out of him; see how he will react. So I ran on basically my tiptoes until I jumped and landed on the bed only an inch away from him. He jumped instantly, screaming multiple curses out at me.

“Where is everyone?” I asked innocently as if I did absolutely nothing just now, laying down besides his setting up body. His hand was clutched to where his heart would be as he rubbed his wide eyes which stared at me like I was insane. Yeah, I am!

“What are you-?” He reached out and touched my arm, his eyes widened further in happiness and he tackled me into a huge hug. “Oh my God you're alive! You are fucking alive! I missed you so, so, so damn much!” I pushed him off of me and he then went on to answer my original question.

Everyone was somewhere; where, he didn't know because he hasn't seen them in at least a day. Rain came home earlier in the morning to shower and get clothes but she didn't talk to him. To say that worry didn't creep into my thoughts was an understatement; I was also curious. It couldn't be that bad, whatever it is; or else they would have told Jinx…and I hope they would have mentioned it to me if it was something involving any of them for that matter...

I packed up additional stuff, actually a majority of things that were mine. Clothes that I haven't seen and missed; a complete wardrobe that isn't normally what I wear much anymore but that doesn't mean I wouldn't. Included were a few dresses that have never been worn before.

“I have to get back or Lucas will throw a bitch fit.” I laughed at the thought. I didn't tell Lucas where I was going but he begged and pleaded for me not to let him there in the suit shop alone with the woman and her husband who were poking and prodding him with measurements and such. I could have gone anywhere and he would have gladly come with me instead, we both knew it. Thing is though, that was after I actually forced him inside, pulling and hitting him some (just enough to make him go inside). I felt sorta bad but he had to go inside, remember the 'you don't know what you got yourself into' thing? This is part of it. Dressing up and going to fancy parties, oh the joy. He got himself into it and I wasn’t about to let him get out any time soon; he’s the reason I myself am going after all.

“Aww fine then; get back to your boyfriend...” Jinx groaned, trying to frown but not doing it very well. He was instead smiling widely in a joking manner as he looked away and peaked at me in his peripheral vision. I shoved him after he finished helping me with my now extra bags.

“He's not-” I started but was cut off.

“Your boyfriend? Yeah, yeah; I won’t tell nobody.” He kidded while I glared at him trying to keep a straight face. It didn't work. “Call me every once and a while Blairie” Rolling my eyes we hugged the final time before he opened the driver's door, let me get in and shut it after. I waved at him as I completely drove away from my old life... Nothing was holding me in New York anymore; not really anyways. Is this what it feels like to leave?

In the rear view mirror I saw Jinx staring after the retreating car, at me as I drove further away. A solemn smile on his face, his hair ruffled in the slight wind (minus the yellow streak now by the way, that was a huge shock to me when I first noticed), loose hoddie over his upper body, hands in his jeans pockets. He turned that moment and walked back towards the house. This was the first time I had a good feeling leaving someplace and I don't know why. It’s a rather odd feeling for sure. Never before had I left anywhere in this manor, on my own accord. Mom and dad kicked me out after they moved without telling me, Nichcoli sent me away, I left school not because I wanted to (though I really did) but the fire did the place in, then same with prison when I was released ( I never wanted to be there in the first place). Here, I chose to leave and it was strange, yet made me feel on top of the world with a huge feeling of accomplishment.

I knew they all would be okay when I left; like I was able to leave them without any worry.

-

“That one.” I said out loud smiling at Lucas' reflection in the mirror. Walking up behind him I overheard the arguing between him and the woman in charge as to which one was better. Currently he wore a solid black pant and sport jacket suit, underneath was blood red shirt and black tie. I hate to admit it but he looked gorgeous, if only I liked him that was...oh who am I kidding, he is hot! There is just something about him-

“Well thanks for coming the fuck back for me.” Rolling my eyes I walked in a circle around him; he just now looked towards me as his eyes and head followed my every move until I stopped. Then he stared.

“I'm sorry... but you are going to need 3 full suits most likely, all different so my parents aren't suspicious. And with it, a whole bunch of shirts...” He looked at me in a mixture of amusement at my demeanor, anger at the words and shock that he really needed that all.

“And what about you?” He sneered before he sat down in front of me leaning backwards in the plushy chair, looking up at only me.

“I have dresses... though I need 2 more” Fancier, evening gown types of dresses... I left that part out because he didn't really need to know that bit of information. I held up the bag in my hand that had one of the dresses inside. “I need you to find something to match this though…”

“Well go put it on.” Smirking he looked me up and down in my plain, everyday clothes.

Nothing special at all but for the first time since I got there, he saw and looked at the dress I brought in.

Changing quickly into the dress in a changing room, I came out. It was a simple black sleeve and strapless dress, one made of black lace laid over a shiny black material, a corset ribboned back and a thin layer of black tulle at the very bottom that reached just to my knees. Top that off all with shiny black heels and that's what I wore. I stepped out and looked down over my body as I held my long dark hair that otherwise would have covered the top of the dress, back in a hand.

Lucas didn't waste any time at looking; all at once he stood and closed the gap between us coming closer until his arms wrapped around my waist and his lips pressed against mine. Shocked at the bluntness I didn't know what to do or even how to react to him.

The sound of various forms of “aww's” coming from around us and the dammed blush covering my cheeks told everyone around us that I liked him at least in some way, much to my dismay.

Even if I didn’t still have my doubts about him, he just didn't seem like a good guy to have around for some reason. That is what made me keep my distance before now.

Would I be able to keep staying away though? Cause he is making it damn hard at this very moment.