Death Is Never Permanent

Final ending version 1- If you want to read the sequel read the next chapter and disregard this ending...OR read if you want, it doesn't matter but the next chapter leads up to the next story and is much more dramatic. This is only like the ending I felt was needed in this situation. Hope you all like this ending and thanks for reading! Please comment on this ending, do you all like it? Is it good enough?

------------

I ran out of Lucas's house, and down the driveway, my arms going over my stomach in thought. I don't know why I came here, what was I honestly expecting to get out of this all?

I called Matt, still crying I wiped my tears away on my hoodies sleeve.

“Hello?” His voice asked from the other side.

“Matt?” I whimpered, holding back a flood of tears. I could have sworn I heard 'Flight 937 to Tokyo is now boarding' in the background. “Where are you?” Is he in an airport?

“Oh um, I'm just hanging with the guys...” There was some shuffling around on his end before he continued “you know... nothing too incredibly exciting.”

“Oh.” I muttered disappointed. I was probably going crazy and hearing things. Great. Just fucking grand.

“What’s wrong?” He demanded much like Ale does...man those two are really rubbing off on one another.

“Um...well. Nothing?” I said, I couldn't say it. I wanted to but I was afraid to admit it to him, what if Lucas was right? What if Matt stops talking to me and leaves me alone. Sure we aren't together but it would still hurt if he deserted me.

“That's fucking bullshit, now spill.” He demanded as I heard the talking in the background. The guys asking if it was me, if they could talk to me, stuff like that.

“You are on speaker phone now aren't you?” I asked annoyed.

“YEAH!” They all said happily before adding random other things.

“Well please take it off.” Matt did, I think.

“Okay, I'm alone now. What’s up...” There was silence. How do you tell a guy you love but won’t ever be with, that you are either pregnant with another guys, or your fathers child? It isn't easy or a good feeling when in question of whether to do it or not, let’s say that. “Okay you aren't getting away without saying anything so spit it out.” He laughed some and I could imagine his smiling face, his dimples. Just like he was next to me.

“I'm just going to say it then... I'm… pregnant.” There was silence on the other end for a moment but then he spoke again.

“Really...do you know whose-” He asked sounding curious, not mad at all so that's a good thing...hopefully.

“No I don't... Either Lucas or my father’s...” I cringed saying 'my fathers.' It’s just so wrong on so many levels, and I am still really, really shaken up about it.

We talked a little more after that until he got to Ale switching off to let me talk to him then, and I told Ale as well. Ale however was furious. I still couldn’t tell about Matt though since he has a good way of hiding his emotions.

I got home shortly after we hung up and I told Matt I had to go inside and figure out something to eat. All he said was okay and that he'd talk to me soon.

But I didn't realize how soon that would actually be.

I walked slowly, almost in a state of depression up the flights of steps towards my apartment, avoiding the random people's gazes and “hello's” by looking at the floor, only the floor. Well, and my shoes, although who cares about that.

As I got up to my floor I just so happened to glance a look up and blinked a few times as I saw Matt standing there, leaning up against the wall next to my door, his arms crossed in front of his body. A smile on his face.

He broke out into an even bigger smile as I took a few more steps closer. Is he really here?
He rolled his eyes at my shock and I knew then that he was real. I broke into a run, going straight towards his body and jumping up into his arms after I had no more space to go. He grabbed onto me tightly and held me, spinning me kind of.

“Surprise.” He whispered into my ear as he sat me feet back down. I looked up at him smiling for real, the first time I have done so in days. He pulled away some and we stared into each other’s eyes before he kissed me passionately on the lips and pushed me gently up against the hallway's wall.
It felt so right, I never wanted it to ever end.

“Ah em!” A throat was cleared. We broke apart and looked over to see Ale and the rest of the guys peaking out of my door trying to see over each other’s heads... Shimmy was there too.

“Hey, you need to SHARE! Blaire isn't just fucking yours!” Jimmy yelled making me smile, God I love him. He always makes people smile and laugh, cheers a person up...he's definitely crazy but crazy in a great way. I went straight to him and on my tiptoes reached up to hug him around his neck. He also picked me up and then handed me to the rest of the guys to hug.

When I got to Brian he smiled.

“I'm sorry... I shouldn't have fucking did what I did, if you both love each other than I can’t do anything can I? You deserve to be happy.” He smirked and I hugged him before going to Shimmy.

“So, the plan worked huh? Did you have any clue?” He asked cheerfully.

“I'm gonna kill you! You said you were going you-know-where.” AKA- a meeting for some cross-country race. I acted as though I was angry but I wasn't, how could I be? I loved all of these guys.

“FOOD!” Jimmy yelled and him and all the guys but Matt went towards the kitchen at various paces. Some running, others laughing and stumbling more slowly in the general direction.

I smiled as Matt came and pulled my body towards his, my chest touching his as his arms were wrapped around my waist.

“I love you Valencia Olivia Blaire.” He said simply.

“You know, it took me forever to find out what love is...I still don't really know nor have a clue. Yet whenever I'm around you I get these butterflies unlike anyone else...If that is what love is...then I love you so, so much; more than anything in the world.” I ended up laughing at myself for actually going into an explanation when I simple 'I love you too' would have easily done the trick.

“I won’t let you go, I promise to take care of you... and the baby.”

“Matt you don't have to it isn't even yours.”

“You're right. But you need something good to happen in your life for once. I don't have to do anything, but I love you... and I want to.” He bent down to kiss me again but I wouldn't let him.

“But you're in New Yo-” He shook his head and I stopped from finishing.

“We are all moving out here, we got jobs, ehh some of us do anyways. All the girls are coming too they just are driving. Some kind of "girl road trip" or some shit like that. Plus, this way I can keep my promise.” I smiled and stood up on my tip toes to kiss him gratefully.

“Stop fucking kissing! Food. THE FOOD IS GETTING COLD! And you need to eat!” Jimmy grabbed my hand and pulled me away from Matt and into the kitchen to eat the multitude of Chinese food that was littered all over the place.

The only thing I thought of in that moment was that everything was going to be alright. I couldn't fight with being pregnant but all of my friends were here, or would be in time.

I could do this...

And all it took was Matt, a guy who had nothing but everything to do with my life. I'm screwed up I'll admit that, everyone knows it. I've been through so fucking much in the past almost 2 years it is almost always, a guarantee for my life to be fucked up at all times.

From the start though, it was all Matt. He was there in the beginning, there in the end. He started the cycle in my ways…

-

I sat at the counter, Matt standing next to me as we ate. I was silent though still very much enjoying the company all around me. I slowly but surely reminisced every event since I met them came flashing back, replaying. The night I saw Matt at Nich's apartment building, fighting him, the makeshift ‘Juvie’hell... all that shit.

“You okay?” Matt asked quietly, bringing me out of my revelry. He was concerned and for the first time in a very, very long time… I was okay, AM okay.

“I am now...” I smiled at him as everyone talked, laughed and goofed off around us.

Everything would be alright.