Death Is Never Permanent

(Overview)

Out of the next 5 months, Blaire had gone from one extreme to the other spending brief amounts of time in the general population in the prison but ultimately all of the time in her own padded cell in the SHU.

Within the first couple minutes of her experience in general “pop.” She learned how to keep her mouth shut (out of fear) and to do whatever she was told to (by the gang members) the hard way... At first she tried to fight against the power within the place, only to be thrown to the floor and have a makeshift knife pushed up against the under skin of her jaw. Each and every time from then on, these men would threaten to kill her with various handmade “secret” weapons. Still she wasn’t a mind reader. One thing she had no clue about was that although she was small and young, those gang members knew the moment she started to pound on them that she could end up hurting them if they give her the opportunity. So with a tough outside appearance and demeanor, they bribed Blaire and made her do things… forcefully; by scaring the shit out of her.

After a few days, she was ultimately “claimed” as the personal slave (so to speak) by one of the Spanish Gangs in the prison. “The Mexican Mafia” the largest gang housed in Pelican Bay. They protected her but only to an extent.

She was “safe” from the other inmates, but not the completely from those whom supposedly “protected her.”

Only a few choice people, including her new “friends” (whom she found were “fighters” to one extent or another, just maybe not the same as her per say) seemed to care for her. However, even they couldn't help her much. This only brought back and added to her fear of men; and it changed her whole entire outlook on life. Yet she was tougher than ever otherwise. She is still considered the perfect example of silent but deadly...It’s her in a nutshell; more than before anyways.

She spent 4 months out of the 5 in isolation.

22 hours were spent inside the dark cell alone.
1 in an exercise courtyard...alone,
And 1 eating meals...also alone.

She started to become distant from everyone. And unlike her normal out spoken self, she was nothing more than a shy girl going on her first date. She didn't say a word, wouldn't look at anyone in the eyes and felt like ending it all...

But today was her release day.

Meanwhile, while this was all happening the guys started to search but coming back unsuccessfully every time, the police of all people advised them to move on with their lives... ’That she was probably dead anyways’. Obviously they wouldn't dare say something so blunt because it would more likely than not cost them their jobs- but that was the gist of the conversation.

They all keep her in the fore of their minds. They've come to grips with the situation and slowly over the past 5 months they gradually stopped to where they are now; with not searching at all. They moved on and are trying to be happy despite the fact that Blaire is still missing and not really knowing what has happened to her. If anything at all…

All of them have found girlfriends. Of particular interest is Ale with Rain, (the girl from the club that night,) Matt with Jenna (some random girl he found at a bar as he was attempting to drink himself into oblivion the night the police told them to stop looking,) and Zacky with Madison (oddly enough his new co-worker and boss at the new school downtown that was restored extremely quickly.) Since then they've moved on with their new loves; completely forgetting Blaire in a way.

Today was the day they would finally go back to the club.

-----------------------------

-Blaire's POV-

I stepped out of the car in my regular clothes, onto the crowded Los Angeles streets. I had just spent over 9 hours traveling from car to plane, then just now by car once more into the bustling downtown area of LA.

“So here are your release papers, and contractual agreements...sign here...here and here...initial here...and date there.” I followed his instructions despite not knowing what I was signing and agreeing to. Probably isn't the best idea in the world.“So I'm sure you've been told the conditions of your being released...” I stared at the man, dressed in a suit that stood in front of me talking, blankly.

“Right...um so here's your $500 dollars and my card. You have 1 week to find a stable job as well as a place to live, and get enrolled in school....” I put everything in my jean pockets “call me once you do...or if you need help, maybe even if you want to talk. I’ll be there to listen I always have my cell.” I looked up at him with a ‘what-the-hell’ look.

“Good luck Valencia.” I nodded and watched as he got into the passenger’s side of the black inconspicuous Chevy Impala. After the car was out of sight I finally looked around.
I was about 30 minutes walking distance away from Ale's apartment. So I went in that direction. Thank God I remembered my way around LA and didn’t lose any of my sense of direction over the year and a half, plus some, being away.

I missed it all.

-

I walked up the apartment steps and into the building. I was nervous but I needed to see Ale, just to see him and know that I was really truly out of the nightmare I had just been through. I paused, thinking about it and sunk to the floor against the wall in the small lobby part of the apartment building. I put my hands on the back of my head and pulled it angrily down to my knees. I sat there in silence for what seemed like forever; my thoughts tear apart my insides like a ravenous bear. The memories wouldn’t go away, not matter how much I tried to rid myself of them.

A man silently came down the steps and walked over to me, touching my back lightly. I snapped at him. Flinching and thrashing the arm closest to him, out at him while yelling “don't touch me!” He looked at me like I was a monster... insane. And I probably am.

I don't know who I've become over the past few months...

After a while of being alone again, I gained enough confidence and slowly hiked up the 4 flights of stairs up to apartment #16. I knocked softly and stepped back, looking only down at the floor. The door suddenly creaked open and a middle aged woman and a little kid came to the door.

“Can I help you?” I looked up in shock. ‘Who the fuck, are they?’

“Alexzandr Montez doesn't live here anymore, does he?” I mumbled trying to believe it myself.

“I um...I'm sorry I don't know who you are talking about sweetie...I've lived here for months and never heard of him.”

“How many?”

“How many-?”

“Months…”

“Ahh, somewhere around 4 almost 5.” I bit my lip and gulped.

“Um, this is probably weird but can I come in for a second...He left something of mine inside.” She looked at me weird.

“I swear I won’t steal, I-”

“You can come in.” I nodded and went into the all too familiar apartment. Everything was different inside; with a new family living there instead of Ale and myself. But I knew there was one thing that hadn’t been moved or changed because no one knows about it but me...
I waited a moment until she told me to go ahead and then went straight to the bathroom. I walked in and allowed her to follow; I shut the door some and opened the closet that was hidden behind the main door when it was fully opened. While standing on a small stool, I reached up to move the tiles above the top shelf on the ceiling, putting it inside the opening that was made when I pushed up on it. To anyone who happened to bump it and reveal the opening, it was just an open space. No one apparently knew about the items within but me, though. I reached to the right and left and found a purse and mini safe...both of which were put there by me some time ago.

When I brought them out the woman gasped.

“I hid them here a few years ago so no one would take them at home and so I wouldn't lose them...” I mumbled quietly and she nodded still with wide, unbelieving eyes. Oh come on, how strange can it possibly be to have a hiding place in your house with someone hiding something of theirs in it? Okay- sort of weird…

“Hey MA!” I heard yelled from somewhere in the apartment.

“I'm in here Samuel!” The lady said as I followed her out the bathroom door. “Is there any more?”

“There probably is more hidden stuff throughout the apartment but I don't know where...” I told her.

“I AM STARVED!” A boy groaned in an extremely loud voice, rooting through the bottom of the fridge. He sounded familiar actually.

“We see that.”

“Wha-wait we?” He said standing up “BLAAIIIRRRREEE?!” He yelled/asked causing the woman to look at me then him.

“Hey Shimmy” I said shyly, smiling some. He walked over and smirked.

“Can I hug you...I. Am. giving advanced warning after all because we all know how you are...” He said putting his hands in front of him. I gave him that weird look. “Fine, you hug me then!” He put his arms the whole way in the air and I shook my head hugging him exactly 1 second then backing away. But not before I heard 'club tonight' whispered in my ear. I nodded unnoticeably and smiled some more.

“So uh you know each other then?” The woman muttered, amazed but a bit unsure at the same time.

“Yeah, ma this is Blaire, I met her in the Bay...Blaire this is my mom.” She looked at me crazily.

“OUT!” I looked to the floor and rushed towards the door holding my things as she screamed at me. I should have known I would get a reaction like that.
Inside the purse were some of my valuables, jewelry, journals, stuff like that. Inside the briefcase-like safe however, was all of my money I was able to hide away throughout the time I was fighting here in LA. Honestly there was only a tiny amount considering I was easily making 3 times that per fight. But 2 grand is still a lot when you have nothing.

-

First thing on my “list of things to do before midnight” was find a cheap apartment or one I actually could bare to live in that is...

I found it easily in a rundown neighborhood outside the city. It also had a brand new mattress, still in the sealed bag, which was used as an incentive or enticer to rent the place or something like that. It worked for me that much was for sure. I didn’t feel like sleeping on the floor anymore, or what felt like a cement slab but was supposed to be a cot of some sort.

The second on my list was to go shopping.

Now that around 500 dollars was saved in regards to the mattress, I sort of splurged a bit.

I ended up changing my hair color, finally making it darker like I wanted to before...now it isn't necessarily a very dark brown but instead was pitch black, and I have shorter side-swept bangs with choppy layers to my shoulders then more of an even length down to my ribcage.

I also have a new 700 dollar wardrobe consisting of things I would never ever have thought about wearing otherwise... It goes with the disguise, I guess. Though I'm not really/ particularly trying to disguise myself- Hell it’s confusing.

I also got a pillow/ blanket/ towel/ everything I would need as necessities on my second trip into the city to the local mall/Wal-Mart. Basic stuff, only enough for one…me. Why would I need more than one anyways?

I then (after spending hours doing random shopping) went to my new “home” and showered, changed and wrapped my hands and knuckles entirely in gauze...
I was going to fight tonight...
I had too.

---------

-Ale's POV-

It was 4 in the morning, we had just gotten back from the club and I was dead tired. Especially after not being able to sleep at all the previous night, due to my thoughts. So many memories were brought back like surging water. I couldn’t sleep if I begged and pleaded with my head to do so. It kills me know to know where she is. She has been gone, disappeared for over a half a year. Six months. Six long, worry-filled months since I last saw her at the club…and then she was gone. Wiped clean off the face of the earth, or so it seems.

“Babe, get your phone...” I groaned after the 7th time it rang in a row. I felt Rain get up and out of my arms to reach over me and to the bedside table, picking up the annoying incesantly ringing object.

“What the fuck do you want?” She groaned into the phone as she laid back down, her head once more on my chest allowing me to hear every word said on both ends. I remained quiet though, breatihing silently and staring at the ceiling.

“Well that isn't a nice way to answer your phone Rainbow...” I laughed inside, it was her older sister; the only one who she wouldn't kill for calling her that. (Even when her name, actually is Rainbow…Rain for short.

“Whatever, what do you want it’s like 4 in the morning and I'm trying to sleep...”

“With Ale?” There was a pause as she looked at me.

“Yes with Ale! Why do you care?” I could tell she was blushing despite the loud accusing voice and I tightened my grip on her waist.

“That's why I'm calling, you know how a while ago you said Blaire went missing and that he was looking for her, and then later on he asked me if a seen her too?” I listened to every word, taking each word in and etching it in my mind. It took a while to register and comprehend because she spoke so fast.

“A huh?” she groaned again.

“Well you wouldn't know unless you knew her like really, really well, or if she was around you all the time or-”

“Can you please…” She yawned “get to your point?” Rain groaned, annoyed that her sister woke her up, she’s cranky when she doesn't sleep enough.

“Well I came to the club and went up to the booth… Jermine asked me about this one girl, a girl I've never seen before. I told him I didn't know, which you know is like major because I know everyone... but looking at her-”

“JASEY!” Rainyelled or rather said loudly, I knew she wanted to yell.

Her next words woke me completely up and brought reality to the fore.

“I found her...I found Blaire...”