Nevermore

"Can't you see why I don't want her around? She's annoying and useless. Keep trying to slow your self down for her and soon you'll be just as useless as she is." Itachi shot him a powerful look, one that would send any other child scrambling. But as usual Shisui just waved his hand in Itachi's face.

"She has potential, you're just too self centered to see it. Besides, can't you see she likes you? That's the whole reason she keeps coming back, for you." The younger Uchiha made a small, disgruntled noise. Turning his head up as he often did when he found himself lost for words. Shisui smiled at his younger companion and turned away, feeling like he was invading on something a little more private than he had previously thought. "You like her, don't you?" Itachi scoffed and kicked a rock ahead of him. It bounced until it fell into the gutter, making a small splash in the water.

"Absolutely not. Why would I waste my time on such an urchin? The joke of the Uchiha clan, her whole family is. It's not my fault I'm forced into associating with her." They walked next to each other till they reached the compound gates. It had been a long day, Shisui could feel his eyes tugging shut.

"I think you'll come around. Sooner or later." Itachi turned on his heel, sending one hand up in a mock wave as he pretended to ignore the parting words Shisui had left him with. He had come to realize that as much as Itachi complained about her, he still managed to bring Hinamei's name into the conversations without fail, every day. "Children, I swear."

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Shisui walked home, now that he felt like he was safetly away from Hinamei, he was taking his time to think what had just happened over. It was true, he liked Hinamei differently then she liked him. And he was all right with that. Nothing would change anyway, she was as it still stood, Itachi's fiance. Just thinking about how guilty she felt right now tore him up. How could he have been so careless? Even if Itachi didn't show it he was still thouroughly attached the her, and if he caught wind of their kiss surely he wouldn't be happy. All he had to do was find her tomorrow and say that it was all a big misunderstanding. She'd overlook it, he nodded to himself happily. Nothing would change, or at least he hoped. "It was one small kiss! Besides, it's not like it was her first kiss or anything. Surely Itachi had claimed that long ago." He stopped walking for a second and thought back. Itachi hardly liked to be hugged by her, was it possible he hadn't even really kissed her before? He remembered the look of shock on her face when he pulled away. The way she touched her fingers to her lips as if she'd never felt anything like it. The Uchiha ran a hand through his hair and sighed. So maybe he had stolen her first kiss. And maybe things would forever be different between them from now on. There was nothing he could do to fix it now.

He resumed walking and let his mind wander away from Hinamei. Automatically his thoughts fell on Itachi and the conversation he had held with the head of the police force only earlier that week.

"Shisui, don't leave yet. There's something else I forgot to talk to you about." His hand floated over the door handle before it was back by his side and he turned halfway to face Rin Uchiha. The grey haired man was a captain on the Konoha Police Force, also a counsel member of the clan's. "It's about Itachi." Shisui leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed. So they had noticed it to. "Do you have any idea why he's been acting so strange lately? He's been speaking out against the clan, he hasn't gone to the last two clan meetings and he walks around like he's keeping a secret, it's unlike him."

"My only guess captain is the stress from the new division he got transferred to, it's a lot more difficult than were he previously came from." Rin looked down at his folded hands, obviously not taking that for an answer.

"Keep tabs on him for a while. Something tells me it's not just the stress that's making him behave like he is. This order is above all orders given to you by Danzo. This is privately assigned by the clan and I expect you will carry it out and report back soon with some valuable information." Shisui bowed, glad for once that his face was hidden by the Tankuki mask as he clenched his eyes shut. Unable to help the fact that he was betraying Itachi. "And remember, the safety of the clan could be at risk. This is more important than you know. If he is planning to betray the clan our whole existence could be put on the line. He knows all of our secrets and for years he has been attending clan meetings. What do you suppose would happen if he had been relaying that to the enemy?" Itachi was cruel but he doubted that he would betray the clan like they were assuming he would. None of them truly knew Itachi, even Fugaku himself probably didn't know his son as well as Shisui did.

"I understand, I won't fail you captain. I will have my report on your desk come next thursday morning." He bowed and Rin merely smiled in response.

"Good to hear Shisui. You're excused."

"Yes sir." Shisui left the office as soon as he could, desperate for fresh air. It was then he had to question what was more important-the clan or Itachi's foolish ideals. He nodded firmly to himself and took off, he would do his best and only prayed that Itachi could one day forgive him.

Towards his back he felt the faint flicker of another presence, giving way with a large chakra flare up. A small smile graced the Uchiha's lips and he stopped walking, turning his head slightly he acknowledged the other presence. "Aren't you a little old to still be trying to sneak up on me like that?" He turned his body around and faced Itachi with his head held high. After all, he had been wondering how long it would take for Itachi to come after him.

"You knew I was watching the entire time." Itachi's face was a blank mask, never breaking his sights away from Shisui once. "Why Shisui?" The older boy rolled his shoulders and shut his eyes, he almost had to ask himself the same question.

"Why what? Why did I tell you that the clan was starting to question you," He turned his eyes back towards Itachi, sharingan ablaze. "Or that I kissed Hinamei?"

"Are you insinuating that you want to fight me Shisui? In your state that would be an unwise choice to make. I can see that you can hardly move that arm of yours as it is." His eyes flickered and momentarily he looked away, quickly bringing his eyes back towards the older boy. "My confrontation has nothing to do with her, please, do as you will she's of no use to me anymore." The slight waver in his voice didn't go unnoticed and he quickly spoke again. "I'm curious though as to why you took that assignment in the first place. Are you truly that threatened by me?" Shisui scoffed, his hand ready to grab a kunai if it came to it. He didn't like the tone Itachi spoke with, it was so empty and cold. This wasn't the same person anymore.

"It's not that I'm threatened by you Itachi, more like I don't know what is going on in that head of yours and I'm dying to find out."

"Then why tell me? Now that I know you were set up to spy on me, why would I let you close to me again?" Shisui struggled to find the answer. A part of him wanted Itachi to be found out and punished for his crimes against the clan and yet, he couldn't bring himself to hide it. He wasn't that type of person, even if it meant he had failed as a shinobi. Itachi was still his best friend, that wouldn't ever change.

"I'm not your enemy. Please, forgive me. It was never my intention to turn my back on you, what choice did I have? Maybe I thought that if you knew you could understand better-that I'm only a pawn to these people. As are you. We will live and die in our clan, it's how it's always been."

"If that's how you choose to live your life Shisui, by all means do it. But as for me I refuse to die feeling like I had done nothing useful with my life. Our clan is blind, and you are becoming no different. Don't act so naive, you know what they have been discussing. Can you honestly say you agree with it?" The older boy's eyes widened and he forced himself to avert his eyes elsewhere. The coup d'etat is what he spoke of. His fists clenched and he could feel the stiches in his arm straining.

"What choice do I have? I might not agree with them but there is nothing I can do to stop them. And you're an even bigger fool than I thought if you think you could!" Itachi cast his eyes back and he pulled himself into a pouncing posistion.

"Shisui, follow me. There are better places we could discuss this. After all, it would be most unwise of me to speak openly of my feelings in the middle of the clan's compound. As you've said, they've all lost faith in me." He bolted upwards and dissapeared out of view. Shisui had no choice, this needed to be settled rightly. He followed Itachi's lead and soon the road was clear. No sign that either boy had been there.

He heard the faint sound of a trickle of water as he landed and Shisui looked around confused. "The Nakano river? Why here?" Itachi put his head back and closed his eyes. Relishing in the soft heat of the sun.

"It's peaceful here and empty. You don't like it?" He straightened up and Shisui only walked around, surveying the area.

"It's not that I don't like it, it's more like I think you're not telling me everything. You came here with a plan." He turned around and saw himself reflected in Itachi's sharingan. He looked tired and ashamed, and he knew Itachi thought the same thing. "You want to kill me don't you?" Itachi watched him from where he stood, as he put his head down Shisui found himself wishing he had said goodbye to Hinamei before he left. The outcome of this soon to be battle didn't look good. He was injured and still exhausted. And if he knew Itachi right, the boy had already laid out every step to this fight. "You talk about how useless this clan has become and say that you want no part in it. But don't you realize? If you keep lusting after that forbidden power you will be no better than the rest of them. Just another blood hungry fool who thought he could harness the mangekyo. Itachi...think about what you're about to do..." Itachi crouched down and with his sharingan activated, he held his hand upwards.

"Prepare yourself Shisui, I promise I will not hold back."

Shisui momentarily let his gaze wander to the sky, it was one of those odd winter days that felt more like early spring and yet he still refused to complain. His chest ached at what he was about to do but as any true shinobi would have done he turned back towards Itachi and held his hand up defensively. "Neither will I."

Itachi had changed in almost every way from the day Shisui met him and now they stood across from each other-death hanging from a string. It was pointless to resist, as much as he resented having to fight he knew it would come eventually. Even if Itachi had changed, his stubborn personality hadn't faded at all...

"Hey brat, go find somewhere else to train. I've already got dibs on this place." Shisui tossed a kunai up in the air and caught it, glaring at the smaller boy as he continued to kick at a broken plank. "Did you hear me, I said go find somewhere else!" The boy spared half a glance back and grunted. He couldn't have been any older than four and yet he had the nerve to carelessly disregard Shisui! It was an act that he refused to ignore. "Kid, do you have any idea who you're messing with?" The older boy wrapped his fingers around the kunai and without hesitation he threw it at the boy, not hard enough to stab but enough to get his point across. The young boy spun around and with another kunai he hit it out of mid air and glowered at Shisui. It was safe to say he hadn't been expecting the boy to respond so quickly.

"I don't care who you are, I'm the one training so why don't you go find somewhere else to train." The young Itachi threw a punch and the wood splintered beneath his attack. He quickly straightened himself up and turned around. "Did you not hear me?" Shisui's patience had worn thin and the seven year old boy stepped forward on one foot with his eyes wide and offended.

"Don't talk to me that way! You're hardly able to walk on your own two feet, where do you get off ordering me around like that?" Shisui wasted no time, he darted over to Itachi and judging by the look on his young face he had caught the boy off guard with his speed. Steadily, his hands wrapped around the young boy's shirt and he pulled him up to eye level. "Just go back home to mommy, surely she doesn't know her little boy is playing pretend with real weapons." He smirked and Itachi squrmed in his grip. And when at last he thought the child had given up he felt a searing pain cut across his hand. The boy had cut him with his own kunai! Shisui painfully jumped back and nursed at his wound. Wanting more than ever to plummet the small child as he stared smugly onward.

"Serves you right. Now if you want to be nicer I can share. But only if you promise to shut up so I can concentrate. And here, you can have your kunai back." The boy tossed Shisui the stained blade and turned back towards his target. As annoying as the kid was he had to admit, the boy had guts and it was something definitely worth admiring.

Itachi's hits were easy to evade, each swipe was easily defected but in turn his own strikes were becoming sloppy. It was strange how Itachi chose not to use a weapon but he didn't mind. In a way it felt almost personal now. They weren't just fighting as shinobi they were fighting as friends. A true test of power if there ever was one. But despite his fast movements Shisui realized that Itachi had already gained the upper hand. Purposely, Itachi had brought him to a place he had hardly ever been to, and Itachi made it clear he was already familiar with the terrain. Two, Shisui stepped into the fight not realizing at first what was about to happen while Itachi had already planned out the start and end of the battle. It was a cheap and unfair advantage but he couldn't help but envy his sharp wit. Shisui slid backwards and brought his hands together, even if Itachi refused to do anything but thaijutsu, that wasn't going to stop him. With as much leverage as he could muster, Shisui bounced backwards into the air and at the peak of his jump he weaved the hands signs and circled the phoenix flower around Itachi. His cold, red eyes never slipped as he thought his next move in advance. As Shisui fell backwards he weaved another hand sign and yelled, "fireball jutsu!" Itachi shouldn't of had time to dodge it but when the smoke cleared he couldn't help but grate his teeth in aggravation. There was no way Itachi was faster than he was! He landed and looked to his left and right, Itachi was hiding somewhere out there. Waiting for his moment. His eyes darted towards his left shoulder, there, behind him! He turned on his heel and slipped a kunai from his sleeve. When it made contact the clone dissapeared in a cloud of smoke. "Where the hell could he be then?" Shisui hadn't ever been this frustrated. Itachi was a powerful opponent but he was also the kind of opponent who liked to play with his victim, similar to a game of cat and mouse.

It wasn't fair, Shisui had been training his sharingan to maximum power since the day he got it and yet, Itachi's felt more powerful. His hands shakily were brought together, his one ace in the hole and yet his chances looked slim.

His mind control jutsu would have been effective if Itachi didn't have such a keen sharingan. When thrown at the person from the front his jutsu is easily blocked if they both have the capabilities to use the same dojutsu. His only chance was that he hit Itachi from the back, if he could even find the weasel now. He stood center of the grounds, surrounded by a thin amount of trees. His eyes were turning as he waited, trying to catch any movement that might have sprang up around him. "You're careless Shisui." His eyes flashed towards the source of the voice but before he could make a move, three shurikan shot from behind the base of a tree.

"What is this, child's play?" He brought his own kunai up and carefully disarmed all three shurikan.

"It's a distraction." The voice came from the right of him and his eyes shook in alarm. Another clone? The real Itachi had appeared next to Shisui and while his guard was focused on the clone he had behind the tree he took his chance to throw a hit towards the older's face. But his speed kept him from making the hit as Shisui's arm came up and blocked it by a mere three inches. He only had so many hands though and as Itachi threw his leg up to kick, Shisui realized that he had already encountered fatal mistake number one. He stepped backwards and slipped back on the small pebbles that lined the shore to the river, losing his balance. Without his chakra prepared enough to counter it, he fell into the water and hissed in pain. His stitches had re-opened and as the water came up the length of his arm it was draining the blood two times faster than it should of been. He looked up at Itachi through one eye, his breathing was heavy and yet he willed himself to stand and face Itachi again.

Slowly he stood, already he had started losing feeling in his wounded arm and as the river was dotted with spiraling smoke like streams of blood, he could feel his defenses getting weaker. "Why aren't you using your weapons? It would be much easier to strike me that way, I thought you said you weren't going to hold back." Itachi breathed heavily like Shisui was, at the speed they had been moving his chakra was falling fast, he was having to concentrate his chakra in order to keep up with Shisui. And even with the speed he had managed Itachi found himself still struggling to match his opponenets. He had limited time to act but he had a good reason for his hand to hand combat-

"It wouldn't look like much of a suicide if you were covered in gashes now would it?" Shisui halted, his eyes wide. A suicide? How could he plan something so risky? And here he thought Itachi had beaten him, surely he wouldn't bypass the police force with a forged suicide.

"You never did have much of an imagination Itachi. That's not going to work, for what reason would I have to kill myself?"

"For the same reason I'm going to kill you. Freedom. Despite what you say I know you want it, you yearn for it. I see the way you watch the other villagers and envy their life styles. So simple and free, face it-you might have the talent but you don't have the will, you weren't destined to be a shinobi. Stop trying to alter fate already, it will get you no where." Shisui charged forward, relentlessly focused to prove Itachi wrong.

Itachi knew nothing about him.

He might at one point wanted freedom and an easier way of living but he would die for the clan and what it stood for.

He wasn't called a prodigy because of sheer luck, it was because he knew he was the best of the best and it was time Itachi understood what it meant to be a part of something bigger than what he could ever hope to be. Two blurs ran at each other, with one hit struck and missed they flew back, ready to charge again once their feet hit the ground. Shisui had to fall back however, feeling the wound widen every time he jerked his arm in place. It wasn't fair, his disadvantages far outweighed Itachi's. "You're going to die soon anyway, I wouldn't worry about it too much." Itachi's voice reached him and Shisui glanced up. He didn't have time to cease the bleeding, all he could hope was that the match ended before he had been bled dry. He darted back towards Itachi, determination on his pale face. With each swing the blood ran thicker, faster. And it wasn't long before he figured he only had a max of ten minutes left before the loss would truly take effect. But people did often call him lucky. His moment stood in front of him as each boy pounced up to deliver an air strike, but with a burst of speed he managed to move his body five inches out of Itachi's strike range. The younger Uchiha glanced back with wide eyes, there wasn't anything he could do to evade it without the technique Shisui had mastered long ago. The older boy's hand pulled a kunai out from his pouch and he held it outright in front of him with his sights set on Itachi's temple. And after years of training together Itachi knew, Shisui's aim was deadly accurate. He could tear Itachi apart before they hit the ground.

It was only Shisui and Itachi lingering on the edge of a single moment. Kill or be killed. This was the way of a shinobi, and Shisui knew long ago that he would be faced with difficult choices. Each one having an important reaction and your life would hang in the open, all depending on what choice you decided to make. The right one or the wrong one. His hand shook and then with a fierce yell he threw it full force at the ground. He had made his choice and only could hope that while he had failed himself, he hadn't failed the entire clan too.

He had made the second and final fatal mistake, he had shown mercy. They landed and Shisui clapped a hand to his wound, he was in too much pain to continue and he was tired of fighting. None of it matter anymore, it hadn't even mattered when they started the fight. He had known from the beginning that he wouldn't ever be able to kill Itachi, not even as his life dwindled away in front of him. And maybe Itachi was right, maybe it had all been luck that he stood where he did that day. As it was, he had failed on so many different accounts that he realized the only reason they allowed him to keep doing what he did was because he had been blessed with good genes. Nothing more. He couldn't even bring down the enemy because he couldn't stand to smudge out his emotions. A basic rule any real shinobi would have been able to follow.

Maybe I'm weaker than you after all.

Itachi, growled with frustration as he ran towards Shisui who stood there limply with his eyes on the ground. Unlike Shisui, Itachi didn't hesitate when he forced his knee into the older boy's stomach and the latter fell to his knees with his eyes clenched in pain. A rattling cough left Shisui's mouth and as he held his hand closely to his lips he could feel the spatter of blood draining through. Itachi couldn't take anymore, he grabbed the older Uchiha's shirt and pulled him up to eye level. "Why are you holding back Shisui, you're better than this!" With blurry vision Shisui opened his dark, charcoal eyes. Itachi almost looked like he was in pain through the haze. Like the reality of it all had finally graced him. "Answer me dammit!" He had never heard Itachi's voice sound so alarmed and frantic. In response Shisui wrapped his own hands firmly around Itachi's plated wrists and forced a smile. As his vision cleared he could see his eyes hadn't deceived him. Itachi was wide eyed and frightened-already the guilt that came a long with the mangekyo sharingan was too much to bear.

"You idiot." He kept smiling even though it pained him and as the blood ran down the side of his mouth and onto Itachi's hands he couldn't dare let it falter. "You've already won. Why keep trying?" Itachi's grip loosened and before Shisui's vision blurred again he caught Itachi struggling to keep his tears in, like he hid away everything at all times. It wasn't until now that Shisui realized he had never seen Itachi cry. "Aren't you tired of keeping it in Itachi? It hurts, I know." Shisui winced and his legs wobbled beneath him. If Itachi let go now he would have fallen and been unable to get back up on his own. His sleeve was soaked in blood and it ran down and wrapped around his wrist, creating a small puddle centered on the ground between them as it fell. "Nine years and not once did you show me how you felt. Stupid kid." He could feel his voice fading, if Itachi didn't kill him the blood loss surely would. "You always had something to prove. Aren't you tired of hiding it?" Itachi was shaking and he looked up into the eyes of Shisui. They were growing dull and lifeless, he didn't have long. A small gutteral sound tore from Itachi's throat and he let his head fall towards his arms. Even as the world around him spun, Shisui could still feel the hot tears running over his hands. Itachi had pulled him closer and he was now close enough the he leaned his head over to rest it on Itachi's. The younger boy made another choking sound and shook harder.

It was almost like Itachi didn't know how to cry.

"Will you forgive me Shisui?" His voice wavered but Shisui managed to smile again and nod his head as he tried his best to stand tall. He couldn't see straight anymore but he didn't need to. He felt the anger wash out of Itachi, the battle had ended. It was no longer a fight to the death as it was time for last words and final goodbyes.

"You know how I am with grudges," The internal damage Itachi had given to him was kicking in, he found it difficult to even speak. But like Itachi he willed himself to keep going. The older boy screwed up his face before he managed to choke the rest of his words out. "I'll forget about this fight within the hour. Don't worry." Even when dying, Shisui was still Shisui.

"I'm sorry." Itachi blinked away the tears and he walked Shisui back towards the water. Struggling to keep Shisui upright as his legs shook and threatened to collapse. He was fading in and out of conscioussness as Itachi laid him down by the shore. This would end fast. He submerged Shisui's head and shoulders under the cold water, he had to force himself to look away as Shisui struggled to the best of his ability. His hand reached up and half heartedly clawed at Itachi's metal plated forearm. "I'm so sorry." It took less than two minutes for Shisui's arm to fall limp. And as Itachi stood and looked down at his best friends corpse he couldn't help but feel like Shisui had almost welcomed death. Despite what he had said he hadn't given his all from the start, he never wanted to hurt Itachi.

It didn't take long to write the suicide note, when it was finished he crushed it in his palm and threw it over his shoulder. Sparing one last glance at Shisui, Itachi fled. His heart left behind in the cold depth's of the water right where it deserved to be.

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"Why are you helping me?" Itachi glanced up at the older boy as they sat under the shade of a tree and ate their lunch. It was three months before Itachi turned five and each day ahead of that had been spent training with Shisui, relentlessly he worked him but the smaller boy didn't mind. He could see himself improving day after day.

"Because you have a lot of potential kid. Watch, you'll be the Uchiha favorite-after me of course. And it will all be thanks to this guy." He pointed a thumb at himself and grinned. Killing two birds with one stone had never been easier. Itachi looked down at his food and quietly set it back down. He wasn't feeling very well. "Itachi? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I've just got a bit of a headache is all." Shisui lowered his own food and shot a warry glance at the boy. He couldn't have him getting sick and ruining the schedule now. With a sigh he pushed his food away and stood up, dusting himself off as he did.

"If you've got a headache then you should just head back home. You won't be much help if you're going to be getting sick." He made to pick up his box and walk away but a tight grip on his sleeve made him stop. "Huh?" Itachi looked up at him with a fierce determination in his eyes. The four year old pulled Shisui closer and made it clear he wasn't going to be let go that easily.

"Don't be stupid, I can still train with you! If a headache stops me from getting better how will I ever improve? Any real shinobi wouldn't back down because he wasn't feeling well!" Shisui blinked before unlatching Itachi's small fingers with a sigh. This kid really had it out for himself. It was just like the last day and the day before. He would stop at nothing to improve and make a point. Even if it meant trying his hardest to show Shisui up when clearly the older boy was far out of his league. He always had something to prove. Itachi stood up and held his arms close to his face. "Now attack me!" Shisui hesitated for a slight moment before a slick grin took over. This was why he was helping Itachi, because that flame that burned in the child's heart motivated himself to try harder. After all, the day he let a kid one up him was the day he'd be staring death in the face.

"Fine, but don't cry when you lose." Itachi looked up at him and matched his sarcastic manner. The younger boy's eyes were adrift with something Shisui had never seen and he reminded himself why he was there. It was then Itachi spoke with such a calm demeanor that for a slight second Shisui almost believed him.

"We'll see who's the one crying at the end of this match Shisui. We'll see."