So Long to Realize It Was Always You

"Hey Caitlin, you excited for the interview?" My mom asked me.

"Yea mom, I'm really excited and nervous too." I said.

"Well of course you are, it's a big deal." She said.

"I know it is, what if I mess it up?" I asked.

"Well Caitlin don't even think about that." She said.

"But mom, I'm interviewing someone on the Flyers, you know they're my favorite time." I said.

"So, treat him like you treat everyone that you interview." She said.

"Yea I guess you're right." I said.

She smiled and gave me a hug as I left the house.

This was going to be the most nerve wrecking thing, I have ever done. What was I doing exactly? Well I work for TSN and I interview hockey players after games. I don't do it all the time, but I'd say about once or twice a month. I was more on an intern for this and nothing more. I was just studying to be a media reporter. So this was some pretty great practice.

---

"Caitlin?" The head producer called.

"Yes?" I asked.

"We'll be ready for you in ten minutes, so please do a quick review." He said.

"Okay, I'll be there." I said.

"Oh and it's studio a, room 456." He said.

"All right thank you very much." I said.

Oh boy was I ever scared and nervous for this! This was my first interview with a guy on the Fylers. Did I mention that they're my favorite NHL team ever? I love them all so much, I don't care what anyone else has to say about them.

"All right, it's time for you to go now Caitlin." He said.

"Okay," I said.

I began to walk toward the room and floor I was suppose to be on. I really couldn't wait until I held this interview. I'm really excited as to who, I would be giving this interview to.

All right here I am; I thought to myself. I walked in the room slowly.

"Hello?" I called.

"In here," The voice said.

Oh this was embarrassing, the person was here before me. This would look bad on me that is sure. Crap, I should have left a little earlier than I had. Would he tell on me?

I walked toward the voice and when I got there, I couldn't believe it. The man I would be interviewing was Scott. Oh holy shit! This is just unreal. I couldn't believe that of all people I got him.

Did I forget to mention that I'm like his biggest fan? Well if I didn't, now I did! Ha! Ha! Anyway this was going to be an extremely fun thing to do. But I'd have to get rid of my nerves. Wouldn't that be way embarrassing if I made a fool of myself? Already being late to this interview is a huge no no!

"Hello," I said as I came face to face with him.

"Hi I'm scott." He said.

"Caitlin," I said.

He smiled. Oh that smile of his, was it ever amazing.

"Very beautiful name you've got." He said.

I smiled and blushed a little. Although I think that I was doing a good job with hiding my true emotions.

"Well I think it is time we proceed into the next room." I say.

"Very well my lady." He smirked.

Oh boy this was going to be a fun one.

...

Now I had to begin my introduction to the interview. Luckily I just had to fill in a couple of blanks. The man behind the camera gave me the ten second countdown.

"Okay, here we are. I'm Caitlin Mulligan. I'm here with Mr. Scott Hartnell, Number nineteen, left-wing of the Philadelphia flyers. Hi Scott." I said.

"Hello there Caitlin, it is very nice to meet you." He said.

"Nice to meet you too. All right Scott so how do you feel that you've now moved on to the Stanley Cup finals?" I asked.

"If feels just amazing. It's a little overwhelming to be honest. I can't believe we've made it this far. The cup is so closely in our reach." He said.

"Interesting. How do you feel about how Montreal played in these five games?" I asked.

"Well I mean it would be mean if I say they sucked. I can't say that because that would be quite false. The first game back in Montreal was honestly pitiful for us. It was a five to one loss. There they showed how great a team they could be and that maybe we needed to watch ourselves a little more. I think they did play rough, tough and hard. Only difference is; we played rougher, tougher and harder. It's as simple as that." He said.

Wow Scott knew how to answer questions. This was going to go, great.

"Nice answer. So what do you think of the entire playoff sereis?" I asked.

"I think that it's a great experience and it's also very humbling. You go in thinking that you're untouchable and then you're hit with a wake up call; once you've hit the playoffs. It's exciting, nerve wrecking and also very draining." He said.

"Well it seems as though in the end it's all worth it." I said in addition.

"Yes that's correct Caitlin. Win or lose you still make your fans happy." He said.

I smiled and procided to read what my next question was.

The interview had now been going on for about ten minutes and it now had to come to a close.

"Okay so now we're going to do our weekly segment. Fans ask the questions. This week it's 'Fans ask Hartnell'." I said.

"This seems fun." He said.

"okay we've got Bernard from Montreal with a question. Take it away Bernard." I said.

"Well Scott, I am true Habs fan and I wanted to know this. Do you think that, if the Habs were really as tuned as could be that you would've still beat them in five games."

"Good question." I said.

"I have to say that's something interesting to ask. To be honest with you I would have to say yes. I think that we were kept together and we had control and the games went in our favor." He said.

"Okay now we've got Jimmy from Philly. Jimmy your question?"

"Hi Scott."

"Hi Jimmy." Scott said.

"I was wondering what kind of pressure do you face from the media?" He asked.

"I like that question." I said.

"Well I have to face tons of pressure with the media. Just doing this interview is pressure. You never know people might take what I say the wrong way. I never meant to harm anyone. So those false rumors you here about me being a wife beater. That's just the media trying to get to my head and make people turn against me. First off to confirm that rumor I'm not even married and never have been. Oh and I don't believe in abuse. It's a lot of pressure on a daily basis." He said.

"Oh Scott this brings me to my next question. It happens to be related to Jimmy's. What do you think of the way the media portrays you?"

"Excellent question." He said.

"I think the media portrays me as this cocky guy who's just spoiled. They pinpoint me as the bad guy. Frankly it's a shame that what the media provides is all that some people have to judge me by. People have to realize we're humans with feelings too and I don't think the media cares. I'm happy this show is running live so that way people can't change up my words." He added.

...

"All right this is our final fan question for Scott." I read off the promt.

So he and I waited a little while and we got one.

"All right this question comes from Amy from Nevada." I said.

Scott smiled at me and looked toward Camera one.

"Hi Amy?" I asked.

"Yes," She said.

"Hi this is Caitlin Mulligan here with Scott Hartnell. What's your question?" I asked.

"Hi Scott," She said.

"Hey there Amy." He said in return.

"Scott I wanted to know what is your favorite moment or favorite thing about playing hockey?" She asked.

"Good question." I said.

"That is a good question indeed. I would have to say pleasing and making my fans happy." He said simply.

"Thank you Scott. Oh can I say one more thing?" Amy asked.

"Sure you can." I said.

"Some of my friends want to know how long it's been since you cut your hair." She said.

"Oh yes how long has it been?" I asked.

"Well it's been two years now that it hasn't been cut." He said.

I heard Amy giggle. I had to admit that it was pretty funny to hear that. Usually guys cut their hair often. I can't believe that he's kept it the same way for two whole years.

"Interesting Scott. I'd like to know how is it now when walking the streets as oppose to your first year in the NHL?" I asked.

"It has changed drastically. My first year not many people knew me. Now that's all different. It's either I get love or hate. There's no in between with the fans out there. I take both the love and the hate to heart. My fans who love me, they mean so much to me. It's because of them that I'm here right now. The fans that don't like me, well that's their choice." He said.

I smiled, I loved the way he worded his answers.

"All right now onto our final interview question." I said.

"Okay," Scott said and smiled.

"Well the final question is, what advice would you give to young aspiring hockey players?" I asked.

"I'd say follow your dream. If you want it go and get it. Sure the odds that people say is one a million shot. So what? If you want it, be that one in a million. Prove the stereotypes wrong. You know you can do it, all you have to do is try. Sure it won't be easy. I'd be lying if I said it were. It isn't, and it gets harder as you move up. Just remember always be humble and never give up. The second you have doubts your odds went from one in a million to one in a billion. So think about it long and hard, if it's something you can't live without then go for it and do it. Practice, drill yourself, work on skill, perfect your skating. Do all that. Work on your speed, puck handling everything. Become the best play you can be all-round,then find your best skill and make that your tip, top perfect signature skill. Remember to be unique and work toward your goal."

had tears in my eyes. What he said was just so beautiful. Someone so popular and famous was able to say something so sincere. I mean this man was just a total sweetheart. I hoped that kids would watch this because, he just gave them the best advice.

"This concludes our interview with Mr. Scott Hartnell. Any final words?"

"Thanks for having me, it's been a blast." He said.

"Not a problem and if you'd like to catch the local Hockey show it will be airing in ten. Thanks to Scott, The Philadelphia Flyers. Thanks to NBC for hosting this interview and thanks to you the people for watching. I'm Caitlin Mulligan and I'm out."

And that concluded our interview. It sucked that I wouldn't be able to see Scott after this. I thought that he was great, and he'd make a great boyfriend. Oh why would I think that, it's not like he's going to ask me to dinner.

"Hey Caitlin." He called.

"Yea Scott?" I asked.

"Would you like to go to dinner with me?" He asked.

Would you look at that? He just asked me to dinner.

"Sure I'd love you." I said.

"Perfect, I'll meet you outside in five." He said.

"Will do."

I walked away with a blush that had crept on my cheeks. I couldn't believe that he had just asked me to dinner. That was incredible. I was going on a dinner date with Scott Hartnell. I was getting to go out on my first date in a while with such a babe.

"All right so I was thinking Greek?" He offered.

"Yum, just happens to be my favortie." I said.

"Lucky me for picking right." He said.

"Oh yea." I said.

"Let's go shall we?" He put out his arm for me.

I took it and we linked arms and walked slowly toward the restaurant. This was a little odd, although I liked the feeling of where his arms were. His arms were so soft and I believe that I was blushing very much so. It's a big deal that Scott asked me to dinner. Sure it might just be a one time thing but I don't care. I get to say that Scott Hartnell asked me out on a dinner date.

"So I know this amazing Greek place. It's just two streets down." He said as we were walking.

"Oh that's cool. what's the name?" I asked.

"It's called Acropolis." He said.

"Oh My Gosh, I've been there once." I said.

"And?" He questioned.

"It was amazing, but way too expensive for my taste." I said.

"Shit."He said.

"I'm taking you out there and now you think it's too expensive. Nice one Scott." He said.

"Oh don't worry about it." I said.

"Yea you're right because I'll pay." He said.

"No no that's okay you don't have to." I said.

"Ah but I will, I'm taking you out." He said.

I smiled and we kept walking.

...

"Table for two." He said.

"Right this way." Said the man.

The restaurant was beautiful. I loved the area and decor and it was so high class. I saw a couple of heads turn when Scott and I had walked in. It felt kind of nice to be honest, I was here with Scott Hartnell, that's amazing.

"So what would you like to order?" Scott asked me.

"I think I'll go with the Athens special." I said.

"Nice choice, I think I'm going with Mediterranean medley." He said.

"Oh I like that." I said.

"Good we'll share then?" He questioned.

"Yea awesome idea." I agreed.

Scott and I had our dishes and we shared them. We had an amazing conversation. We talked about so many different things. Things such as: family, friends, love life, our jobs, things we liked and disliked. It was honestly really great. Scott was a great guy. We got along really well. He seemed to know a lot about what kind of things I liked, and I enjoyed that.

"Can I walk you home?" He asked.

"Sure." I said happily.

"How far a walk is it from here?" He asked.

"About twenty minutes." I said.

"Perfect, that will give us more time to talk." He said.

I couldn't help but smile at that comment. He was being such a sweetheart with me. I hoped that we'd see each other more than just today.

"But Scott my car is at the arena." I said.

"Oh that's okay, I'll come by early tomorrow and we'll go pick it up."He said.

"Aren't you leaving to Chicago tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yea and aren't you?" He asked.

"Not that I know of." I said.

"Crap, I should not of said a word." He said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Now this peeked my curiosity.

"Nothing, pretend I never said anything." He said.

"Sure?" I said with a questioning tone.

"Perfect." He said.

...

"It was nice meeting you."He said.

"Yea you too."

"So wanna get together again?" He asked.

"Sure, question is when?" I asked.

"Um we'll pick a date tomorrow." He said.

"Okay" I said with a smile.

"Um Scott do you wanna come in?" I offered.

"Sure," He said.

He came in and I made us a coffee and we sat on the couch and watched the interview and laughed at how some of the fan questions were so lame. One question was "Scott will you marry me?" Yea the chick was like fifteen. He and I just died of laughter. Scott had such a fucked up look on his face I loved it. We watched some TV for a bit and then moved onto movies. We watched Alice In Wonder Land, Sex Drive, Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder. It was awesome watching all that and eating a whole bunch of junk food. It was the most fun I had in years. Scott was just so down to earth and he made me feel really cool and hip, so to say.

-------

"I'm sitting next to Caitlin on the plane!" Scott shouted.

Yes, I'm going on the plane with them to Chicago. Turns out what Scott wasn't supposed to say was that: I'm going to be the Philly's new assistant interviewer. Meaning, I go out on the road with them, I broadcast before the game; live from the event, I write articles on them. I do national interviews with them. I also well be working with them on the projects they do with younger children and stuff like that. It's going to be something so awesome that I get to do. It's just insane that they chose me based off of one interview. Apparently they decided that, the second my interview was over with Scott.

"Yes Scott you're sitting next to Caitlin." Jeff said.

I blushed and smiled. I mean okay so Scott and I had just met last night, but I believed that he had a crush on me. I knew that I had a crush on him. Then again I've been his number one fan for years. I just hoped that he and I would work out in the future. Well that was if, we even got the chance to attempt at working out together.

"So where are our seats?" I asked as we got onto the plane.

"I like the back, if you don't mind."He said.

"The back's fine, I don't mind.I promise." I said.

He had a smile on his face and held my hand all the way to the back seat. I had the most giant smile on my face.

On the flight Scott and I were holding hands for the most part. I have to be quite tired about three hours into the flight. I was never good with flying for long periods of time. Scott seemed to understand that.

"Caitlin go to bed, I'll wake you when we get there." He said.

"Yes but I wanna keep talking." I said while yawning.

"Look get sleep, you'll be able to talk to me enough once we're in Chicago." He said.

"Fine," I agreed.

I placed my head on his shoulder and I my eyes closed slowly.

"Caitlin we're here." Scott said.

"oh." I got up and headed toward the door of the plane.

"Wow." I said.

"Yep. This is Chicago." Jeff said.

I smiled and began to walk off all on my own.

"Caitlin?" Scott asked.

"Yes Scott?" I questioned.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked.

"Uh, I want to experience Chicago." I said.

"Alone?"

"I don't know, is it easy to get lost?" I asked.

"Oh most defiantly it is very easy to get lost. You need a man with experience to help you around town."He said with a sneaky smirk.

I knew he was up to no good.

----

It's now been a little over a week and we're back in Philly. I've had a blast with the guys back in Chicago. Unfortunately The Flyers had lost both games. That fucking sucked. They were down by two games. The Flyers were going to have to wake up a little, if they want to take home the cup.

Scott has been the best guy to be around. He's been there for me so much and I don't know how to thank him. Scott was just the kind of guy, I'd need to make me complete.

"All right Caitlin take your place." The head director called.

"That's in front of camera three." The other guy said.

I went so stand where I was told and waited for the countdown to begin.

"Caitlin Mulligan here with the Flyers report. So as it stands right now, the Fylers are down two to none in the series." I said.

"This means in order for the Flyers to be in this, they must win game three tonight. This will force a game five which will be held back in Chicago. Tonight our goalie will be Michael Leighton. The line that the Hawks will have to watch out for tonight is the second line up. The line consists of: Scott Hartnell." I added.

As his name came out of my mouth, I blushed. I hoped it wasn't too noticeable.

"Jeff Carter and Riley Cote; as the offensive trio. And on the defensive side we have Kimmo Timonen and Braydon Coburn. So beware and be on the edge of your seats to see how this line up works. Tonight will be an action packed night. So sit back relax and cheer! Tune in after tonight's match for another fan question interview. Once again this Caitlin Mulligan and I'm out." I said.

The room cleared and I had a giant knot in my stomach. I was nervous because I wasn't sure how the broadcast went; also I was worried if the Flyers were going to win this one or not. I prayed that they will because I wanted them to win the Stanley Cup badly.

Since I was the reporter for the Flyers I have to go down before the game began. When I walked in I saw Scott with his head down and I didn't know if he was sad, or what was going on?

"Scott?" I questioned.

"Oh Caitlin!" He said.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yep, just how I before a big game." He said.

"Sorry." I said.

"Sorry?" He questioned.

"I didn't mean to disturb you." I said.

"No, no you didn't." He said.

"Oh good." I said shyly.

"Uh, Caitlin make sure you come here after okay?" He asked.

"Sure once I finish the interviews and stuff." I said.

"All right." He said.

I sensed some sort of defeat in his tone of voice, and I wanted to know what was bugging him.

"Caitlin?" Jeff Carter asked.

"Yea?" I questioned.

"Well I wanted to let you know the Flyers wanted to do something for you and we got the okay from the boss." He said.

"What would that be?" I asked with a laugh.

"You're going to be the anchor for tonight's game." He said.

I was left breathless and I didn't know what to do. I had never really done this professionally before. The most practice I had at announcing an actual game was a simulation one that we had to as a test in the school. So this was a big leap for me.

A whole bunch of stuff kept running through my head and I was nervous. What if I messed up? What if I said the wrong players' names? What if I totally blank out on all my knowledge of hockey? Sure I'd done interviews over these past few weeks, but never have I broadcast a game live. I guess there really is a first time for everything.

"All right so first you must look at camera one, then take a quick shot to camera four and make sure you know exactly what's happening all around you." The camera guy said.

"Yes, thank you." I said.

This was such a big thing for me right now, I was just about to do the biggest thing in my life. This could make me get a job somewhere professionally; at the moment I was still the assistant and I wanted to be more then that.

This was like my final test, if I passed this it would be official, I'd be certified. If I failed this, I had one of two options, I'd either just let this go and stay as the assistant, or I'd have to retake my entire internship. Sure Jeff hadn't told me it was a test, but I knew it was. It was what they always did, one of my friends went through the same field, only difference she did it for the Blackhawks. So this was going to be the most nerve wrecking thing ever.

"Caitlin it's on in five."

"Okay," I said and walked to my station.

----

I was so proud of myself because me anchoring went just amazing.

I was pretty sure the test was passed!

I was just so excited that I had to go find Scott.

When I arrived at the locker room, I realized that Scott was nowhere to be found. That was really odd, Scott always hung around after games. Was it because he lost this game?

"Caitlin." I heard a voice say from behind me.

"Scott." I said.

"Where were you?" I added.

"Does it matter?" He spat.

"I guess not." I said sadly.

"I have to go, we can't hang out." He said.

"Why not?" I asked.

"I just told you I have to go." He said.

"I'm heading out the same way you are, can't you give me a ride home?" I asked.

"No Caitlin, I'm leaving alone. In fact don't give me a call, and from now on don't bother coming to me after or before games." He said.

"Scott." I said as he was walking.

"Caitlin, you'll thank me in the long run." He said.

I had no idea on what the fuck he was talking about. Where was this coming from? What sucks about today was that, I was going to tell Scott I had feelings for him. I mean all we did was flirt back and forth with each other. I swore he had feelings for me

There was a day back when we had been in Chicago, where I felt butterflies.

***

It was two days in our Chicago trip and Scott and I had been together a lot. He'd never let me go around if he wasn't close by. He was super protective of me and I loved spending time with him.

There was a knock at my hotel room door and I hoped it was Scott.

"Caitlin," He said as I opened the door.

"Hey Scott." I said.

"We have about a three hour break before practice." He said.

"Oh?" I questioned.

"I'd like to take you out, on a date possibly." He said.

"I'd love that." I said.

"Meet me downstairs in fifteen minutes." He said.

"Okay!" I yelled and hugged him.

I got ready as fast as I could and met him down there. I had butterflies in my stomach. Scott Hartnell was taking me out on a date that was a big deal to me.

"Damn, Scott got lucky didn't he?" Jeff asked.

"shush." I said.

"Okay okay." He said and walked off with some girl.

I walked over to Scott and he escorted me to this fine restaurant. I thought he was doing way too much. Especially since half the stuff on the menu was over fifty dollars. He was insane for doing this for me.

We kept talking and getting to know each other, Scott started sharing some personal stuff with me.

"Yea when I was young life wasn't easy for me. I was told I'd never amount to anything. MY family always pushed me down because I wasn't the top of my class. I believed them and gave up on school for about three years. There was one thing I was always good at though, was hockey. In the end that was the only thing that kept me going." He said.

"Oh,"

"Yea and then there was this girl I really liked, in fact I ended up loving her. She was the most beautiful girl I ever laid eyes on, and she was perfect." He said.

"What happened to her?" I asked.

I saw that he was a little uncomfortable with it, and that made me sad.

"You don't have to say it." I said.

"It's fine I will."

"Okay," I said.

"We had grown up together, but then my parents wanted to move back to where I was born because of my grandmother. The week before I left I wrote her a note and I sent her a rose. I even went to her in front of all of her friends and told her I loved her. She laughed in my face and said I was gross and that I wasn't good enough." He said.

"Well that was mean of her, that was something she should have never said. One question how old were you?" I asked.

"I was fifteen and she was eleven." He said.

"That's so cute though Scott, I'm so sorry that she rejected you." I said.

"Yea I bet you are." He said.

"Where did you grow up?" I asked.

"I was born in Regina, but grew up in Nashville."He said.

"That's crazy, I grew up in Nashville too." I said.

"Cool." He said.

The night continued and it ended with the best kiss of my life. I had so many butterflies that night and I knew that I had feelings for him.

"Caitlin thanks and I wish you'd remember." Were the last words he said.

***

When I stopped thinking about that night and how great everything was, I started thinking about that last sentence. Only that last sentence. There was something about the way he said it that sounded so familiar. It sounded like this kid Scott I knew once back in Nashville. It was then that it hit me. Scott he was the Scott who asked me. I was the girl who rejected him, I was the girl he loved, the girl he wrote the letter to. The letter that I kept in my bedside table. I was that girl.

I ran into my room and read searched and I found the letter.

It read:

Dear Caiti,

I know this is crazy to write a girl, but I'm leaving in two weeks. After that I won't see you again, not for a long time that is. I know there's an age gap, but I was thinking maybe you'd like to go out with me before I go? I just want to take you out sometime, maybe to nice Greek dinner. I know you love that kind of food, so I was thinking it would be nice. You're a beautiful girl and I love you. I hope you get this letter and it puts a smile on your face. I'm going out on a limb here, would you be my girlfriend?

Love,
Scott H.

I began to cry, I couldn't believe that I rejected a guy so great all those years ago.