Mixed 'N' Matched Love

Nick's POV:

I was leaning my head against the gray wall of the new room that I was seated in, when it happened. The thing that I had feared greatly of, yet still craved for greatly deep in my heart. I rolled my head up, taking in the whole room in front of me. When I first came in, I had just numbly and limply taken a seat on the ground, pulling my legs up close to my chest and had spent most of the time staring down at my lap. But, now I felt like this was too boring and decided to look around this place some more.

It was now twelve o’ clock in the afternoon and I was still in the hospital. I knew I should have been getting home to Nyla, who must’ve really been wondering where I was, but I didn’t have my phone on me right now and there was a part of me that really didn’t feel like calling her up and letting her know what’s happened with me. It would just be too much for the both of us to handle.

At the moment though, I was in a different part of the hospital. Not many people came here, most likely none. I was happy when Jasmine told me about it, because I really needed some time alone to think over everything and I couldn’t do that with little Alex and the other guys all hovering over me asking me questions and wanting to know more about my life.

It was all so overwhelming and as much as I wanted to tell them to back up, I didn’t, because there was a part of me that was no longer as strong as I used to be in the past. Drew had broken me down and made me once again that sweet little one sitting all alone in the corner with nothing to do and nothing to say.

Anyways back to the room. It was pretty dull and I couldn’t even imagine that this once used to be someone’s room. She was yet another rape victim that was sexually abused each and every night by one of the security guards and then accidentally killed when she tried fighting back for once. So, now, according to Jasmine, she basically just haunts this room or something or the other. Who knows, I wasn’t really listening when she was warning me to be careful when being in here. All I knew was that I just needed some alone time and I needed now.

“Poor girl,” I muttered aloud to her. “I know how you must feel and if you’re really here, you know, ‘haunting the place’, then maybe we can like get together and talk about all this. You know like discuss how it feels to be raped and rant all about guys if you want.”

I shook my head then, thinking to myself how stupid I must’ve sounded. But, I didn’t dare say that out loud, in case she really could hear me.

I heard loud footsteps echoing around the place and my heart started thumping loudly in my chest as I half expected it to be the ghost girl, but then before I could actually break out into a sweat or even try to run and escape, but then the figure came into the light and I saw that it was only Jordan.

“Hey there,” he grinned at me as he made his way over to me and slid down the wall, taking a seat next to me.

“How’d you know that I was here?” I questioned, turning my head to face him now.

“Oh, uh, Jasmine.” he answered simply.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

We stayed silent for a long time then. There was something nagging in my head, something about last night. Something told me that it was that nice, warm hug that I had shared with him. But, something else told me that that I was just being ridiculous.

Before I could help myself, my eye darted over and tried to take a quick peek at him through the corner of my eye, and that’s when I caught him staring at me.

“What?” I asked him.

”Nothin’, nothin’.” he just shook his head at me.

“Tell me!” I insisted. “Please! I wanna know.”

“Oh alright, do you seriously believe that there’s a ghost in here?”

I thought this over a little. I’ve only been in here for an hour or two, so I wouldn’t really know. I didn’t wanna answer too quickly and say yes and have him think that I’m so gullible, I’ll believe anything. Who knows, he might even hold that against me and get me to do something I really didn’t wish to. But, I also didn’t wanna say no.

So, I just shrugged and answered, “I wish.”

“Her name was Sara Beth.”

“Hmm, that’s a nice name. Did you know her personally?”

Jordan chuckled and shook his head. “I wish. But, ah, no, she did a long time before I was even born.”

“So, tell me what you know about her?”

“Well, there’s not really much to tell. I’ve heard most rumors about her and stuff, and when I was much younger and was first recruited in the gang, I believed her then.”

“And what about now?” I wondered.

“Ah, sorta, I guess. I mean, like I don’t wanna make myself look stupid for believing in something as silly as that and I also don’t wanna take the chances of angering her poor spirit or whatever and end up getting myself killed for it. You know what I mean? It’s like a Bloody Mary thing.” he explained to me and as I nodded my head along to what he was saying, I realized that I actually felt the exact same way.

“Yeah, I get it.” I told him.

A few more minutes of silence followed after us then and the room, I suddenly noticed then, began to change. It suddenly felt a whole lot colder and it seemed much emptier and creepier than it was when I was in here all alone. A chill traveled down my spine and all of a sudden then, a loud crashing sound occurred, echoing through the walls. Without thinking, I grabbed a hold of the first thing my hands could reach and curled my fingers around it.

I felt something against my hand and it felt as if someone was squeezing it. I opened my eyes, which I didn’t realize I had shut, and turned to my side. There I saw the thing that I had grabbed was Jordan’s wrist and he was holding on to my hand with his other free one.

“Don’t worry, this is always happening.” he told me.

I blushed and tried to hide it before he could see it.

“So, uh, you’ve been down here before?” I asked him, hoping to change the subject from on me to him instead.

“Yeah, actually I was once dared by the other guys - when I first joined them - to spend the whole night here. It was apparently like an initiation test for me or something.”

“So,” I said, stretching the word out. “Did you do it? Did Sara Beth mind? Did you see anything? Or-or get creeped out or anything?” The questions seemed endless and each one just got me more and more pumped to hear his answers.

“Yep!” he grinned. “I did it. I got a hundred bucks for it and I slept like a baby. No, I’m pretty sure she didn’t even notice. I didn’t see a thing except for the darkness. And yes, at first I was, but I was way too tired to even care about anything else besides sleep.”

“Wait, tired as in plain old tired or tired as in tired with your life?” I don’t know why I wanted to know this, but it just ended up coming out through my mouth.

“Ah, both.” he smiled uneasily and I decided to let the subject dropped then.

Some more minutes of silence passed by and I realized then Jordan hadn’t let go of my hand as of yet. Instead he had just kept it in his hand as he stroked the back of it with his thumb. I looked up then and accidentally straight into his eyes. And it was then that I realized just how close we were exactly. Another blush spread over my face and this time I couldn’t help keeping it inside. I bit my lip and tried to avert my eyes away then.

“I really don’t get you.” Jordan whispered then.

“What do you mean?” I wondered aloud.

“You promise you won’t get mad if I try to explain it to you?” he face looked regretfully and I realized he must’ve been referring back to that fight we had just a couple of hours ago.

“Ok, but only if you promise not to get all worked up again.” I told him

“Deal.” he agreed and I nodded my head.

I wondered what exactly it was about me that Jordan didn’t “get” or whatever.

“Alright look, as far as I know and have seen, when normal people – not that I’m saying you’re not normal – usually get like devastated or go into some kind of shock after finding out that they’ve just been raped. But, you…you did none of those things,” he started. “You just…look so calm and ok with the fact that you’ve just lost you’re virginity to you’re boyfriend’s friend! And I just…don’t really get that. I’m sorry.”

I nodded, understanding why he wouldn’t. Then, opened my mouth to say the first thing that popped into my head, but then I realized that that was probably not the best thing to say and closed my mouth back again, gulping that answer back down. I tried to think of something much better after that.

I stayed quiet then and I could tell that Jordan knew that this was making me feel uncomfortable. I felt him shift in his position a little and away from me.

”Is it too soon to be talking about this? Because if it is, then I’m sorry, I’ll shut up and you don’t have to answer me anything? I mean, it was stupid of me to even ask. Like, seriously, of course you’re not over it. I’m so sorry. And I swear you don’t ever have to tell me. You can keep it inside of you or just tell Jasmine. I mean, it has nothing to do with me anyway, so why should you tell me, right? Right. Right…” Jordan continued to babble on and on, so I quickly cut in before he would start getting upset or anything.

“No, no, it’s just…I-I-“ I gave up then, because I just had no idea how I was going to answer and reassure him when I didn’t even know how reassure myself.

I also didn’t want to end up accidentally revealing a part of my past. That definitely would’ve been too soon and it would’ve not only hurt me but probably disturb him as well, so it was best to just keep it all inside of me for now.

“Is-is there like more this story of yours?” Jordan then moved over to face me. “Like is there anything you haven’t told Jasmine about it or haven’t even planned to?”

He had no idea how naked I felt right there and then. It was almost as if Jordan who was now looking into my eyes could peer all the way into my soul and figure out everything else that I was hiding inside and didn’t dare tell anyone let alone Jasmine about.

I knew I was being too silent again and I also knew what Jordan was thinking and what he might start assuming if I didn’t answer like right now. I opened my mouth and hoped something besides warm breath would come out and prove him wrong.

“No, I just…I-I don’t know why it didn’t happen, but it-it just didn’t ok? Like, I-I can’t really explain it, but it just…didn’t,” I stammered out. “I-I’m sorry.”

I leaned over and hugged my knees closer to my chest, turning my face away. I blinked rapidly then to hide the tears that were starting to appear at the corner of my eyes before Jordan could notice them.

“Oh hey, it’s ok. You just…take your time with it all,” he placed a hand on my shoulder and I had to bite down hard on my lip to keep a loud sob from escaping from my mouth. ”And like I said, you don’t have to talk to me about it. I mean, it’s not like you own me anything.”

“T-thank you,” I managed to force out along with a smile. “Thanks so much!”

“Hey, don’t mention it,” he smiled easily at me too. “You could be just like my little sister. I didn’t get a chance to help her out, so I might as well help you out with it instead.”

I had no idea what happened inside of me then, but after finally getting at least some kind of kindness from a guy after so long, I guess I was just sort of melting in the inside. Before I knew it or could even think of stopping myself, I began to lean forward until Jordan and I were face-to-face once again and our lips were only a few inches away from each others.

My heart began to race wildly in my chest and my face was only get redder and redder by the seconds. I couldn’t help myself from pressing forward and it didn’t really seem to me that Jordan really cared to stop himself either. He just smiled brightly and I watched as he placed his one hand on my cheek, brushing my hair back with his fingers.

My heart felt like it was in pain now. But, now in a bad kind of way, more like in a pleasurable way. I felt as if my heart was ready to bust right out of my chest as my cheeks got redder and my lips inched closer and closer to Jordan’s. There was not a single part of me that wanted this to stop. I didn’t want him to pull away or for us to keep sitting in silence. I wanted more. I wanted him. And I wanted it all now!

‘God, what was happening to me?’ I wondered aimlessly.