Mixed 'N' Matched Love

Nick's POV:

It’s been a total week since Jordan and I have been dating and it seems almost as if the seven days have all just blurred by just as fast as they had come. I was now always with him and always trying my best to keep away from Drew. I was rarely ever at home or gone near Nyla and the other guys, in case, you know, they tried to talk me out of what I was doing now and about Drew and what exactly has happened between us that has seemed to drive us so far apart.

I knew that that really wasn’t the right thing to do and that the real right thing to do was to: sit down and have a long major talk with Drew about everything that’s been going on these past few days. But, my heart just wasn’t strong enough to face Drew as of yet. I just couldn’t let my heart get hurt again or else this time it’d hurt way too much. Maybe even enough to really destroy me.

So, it was probably just best that Drew and I stay away from each other till at least the wedding.

The wedding -- sigh! – I still had no idea what I was going to do about that. It was weird how Drew hadn’t even mentioned what I was doing behind their backs with Jordan to dad and auntie or to even his parents and while I was still pretty upset at the whole thing, I still felt pretty grateful.

Every once and a while though, I would get this strange feeling all the way at the pit of my stomach. It was guilt that was what I knew for sure. Guilt for hiding all of this from everyone. But, this wasn’t the first time something like this happened and it certainly wasn’t the last, so I knew that I could handle it…for now.

But, it doesn’t really matter what Drew did, because in the end, no matter what happens, I’m still gonna end up getting married to him. So, what’s even the point of being with Jordan in the first place? I’ll tell you what the point is. He makes me happy! And right now, that’s the one thing that I need the most of before I end up going back the old road I used to travel down. And lemme tell you, that old road was a dangerous road. It was one that I was glad to be able to get out of and it’s one that I don’t look forward to returning to.

Jordan was perfect. And so unlike Drew.

Sigh! ‘If only I were getting married to Jordan and not that Dreaded Drew !’ I thought to myself one day. ‘Then maybe everything will be all right again.’

And that’s when it hit me – my big idea! I was going to go and have a talk with dad and tell him all about Jordan and how great he was and how I didn’t want to be with Drew and that I only loved him as a friend and not at all like a husband. Ok, that was a total lie, but I couldn’t possibly tell him the truth and see if he would be ok with that. It would kill him!

That was probably the only thing that could get at least some of this guilt off of my chest and let me just be done with it already.

But, before I went ahead and made any decisions without him knowing, I went straight to Jordan first. I wanted him to meet my dad and let him be the one to ask dad for my hand in marriage.

It seemed like a pretty good idea since Jordan was always saying how much he loved me and how glad he was to have someone like me as a girlfriend. So, why not just extent our relationship a bit more, so we could get a little closer and spend our lives happily in love together?

So, real happily, I made my way over to the hospital to go and ask him how he felt about all of this and if he were willing to do such a thing or just needed a little bit more time. Whatever his answer was going to be, I couldn’t wait for it!

By now, I had pretty much memorized the exactly location and address of the hospital and could probably find it in while sleep walking if I wanted to. Thanks to Jordan that is and all the other guys, of course, I’ve gotten to know about not only the hospital and town some more, but even a lot more about the guys. Well, minus Thomas, who had gone back to his cold and depressed ‘ole self and has been going crazy these past few days searching desperately for his loved one.

Anyways, when I got to the hospital via cab as always, I spotted one of the guys from the gang, Alexander, and walked on over to him.

“Hey, Xander,” I called him. “Have you seen Jordan around?”

“Oh yeah, I actually just saw him back in your old room havin’ a chat with Jasmine.” he replied.

“K, thanks, dude.”

“Anytime squirt.” he ruffled my hair like a father would do to their son and grinned brightly down at me.

I gave him a matching grin back and then raced over to the elevator just as it was opening for someone to get out. In there, I practiced what I was going to say to Jordan and just how I was going to do it too. By the time, I had reached the third floor and the doors had opened, I knew I was ready.

I strode confidently past all the other rooms containing mostly old people or sick teens and towards mine, which was all the way at the end of the hall. Any other day and I would be walking swiftly with my head down and my hands closed into tight fists close to my side. Seeing all those injured people made me feel all so sick and guilty. I was always worried about what would happen as I was walking past them and all of a sudden they were thrown into coughing fits or were about to die. I surely wouldn’t know what to do.

‘Should I go and call a doctor? Or should I just stay by their side and whisper fake soothing words to calm them down?’ I would frantically wonder and by then it’d probably too late to even do anything.

But, as of today, there was probably nothing that could bring me down now. Though, I could still feel my feet trying to rush past as fast as possible without tripping over something.

When I finally was only a few feet from my old room, I slowed down and took a few deep breaths. Once I went in, there was no going back. This was it. And there was a part of that couldn’t wait and there was another part of me that felt a little hesitant.

Despite the feeling though, I placed my hand on the shiny doorknob leading to the place where I first woke up and met everyone. Gosh, it seems as if it’s been so long since Drew’s hurt me and I met all these wonderful people. I grinned happily and lovingly then and was just about to twist the knob and step on in to a whole new and better life of mine, when I started to hear this strange noise coming from the inside.

It sort of sounded like a type of moaning almost and I figured that Jasmine was probably either operating on someone or was trying to sooth someone out of their tears and issues, in the same way that she had done for me. But, when I peered in through the little glass window attached to the door, I simply could not believe my eyes.

My eyes widened in their sockets and my heart seemed to be crashing down in my chest as I saw what exactly was going on in that room. Well, apparently Jasmine and Jordan were busy having some sort of a heavy and deep make-out session on my old bed. At one point, Jasmine pulls away and through her panting, I can make out that she’s saying, “Wait, wait, what if your precious little Nick finds out?”

Through tears in my eyes and phlegm and bile arising to my throat, I actually wondered what Jordan’s answer would be. But, I guess I just expected too highly of him, because his answer was probably the one thing that set all my tears free and my heart to drop down into my stomach.

“Hey, what she doesn't know won’t hurt the girl.” he just replied back simply, before going back to kissing Jasmine all over.

Tears had by now begun to spring out of my eyes and I had to clamp my hands over my mouth to keep myself from making too much noise, because I knew for a fact that if the two were to catch me watching now not only would their perfect little moment going to be over, but they were also going to try to apologize to me and at the same time tell me stupid little promises and lies to make me feel all better. And right now, that was like the very least thing I wanted and needed. It would only just cause me some more pain. And I don’t think I have any more room to place it all.

I started to back away from there and was just about to turn and run out of here, when all of a sudden I banged into someone. Thomas. He noticed my tears before I could erase them and raised an index finger to brush them away. He stared at it on his finger for a second and then his eyes drifted over on to me.

“What’s the matter?” he asked me softly.

“Nothing, nothing, I just-“ I was cut off as a loud sob escaped out of my mouth.

I watched then in sadness and despair as Thomas walked on over to the door to my room and looked through the window just as I had done so moments before.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry.” he said, looking back over to me with a grin look on his face and sad eyes.

God, that got me so boiling mad that I didn’t even have the words to explain all my anger.

“Yeah, you and everyone else in this whole fuckin’ world!” I screamed at him, before running away from him, away from that stupid floor, and out of that goddamn hospital!