Mixed 'N' Matched Love

Nick's POV:

The first thing that I saw when I walked into the house was Drew. He was just right there, smack-dab in the middle of the kitchen on one of the chairs with a wide grin plastered across his face and a knowing kind of stare as I walked into the house.

I wondered then how the hell he got into my house without using the front door, because I was standing right in front of it the whole time, but I assumed then that he probably used the same transportation as I did. And it’s not like that was the first time Drew had done that, he’s done it enough times over the past years that everyone in the house, the neighborhood, and even some of my old relatives have come accustomed to it and vice-versa for him.

I knew I couldn’t let that face of his get to me though or let him know that I was actually afraid of him or of the little “power” that held over me now. I was in the zone and I couldn’t just let my whole game plan slip right through my fingers just because of one little distraction like that.

I shifted my eyes determinedly over to my dad and noticed that he had a somewhat troubled but also partly busy look on his face. I wondered what that could possibly mean was up. I mean, he didn’t look mad at me or even embarrassed or upset over my “behavior”.

‘So, what was it then?’ I wondered to myself. ‘What did that expression on his face mean? What was it that he wanted to talk to me about? What was wrong? Why was Drew here? What was all this about anyway?!’

I really needed an answer to all of these questions and I needed them now, before I exploded right out of this room due to all the heavy pressure that was going on in my chest right now.

“Sit down, Nicolette dear.” Dad said to me.

He was even speaking in his usual way, calling me dear the way he usually greeted me.

I nodded and without any hesitation or complaint, I took a seat across from Drew on the chair that was probably the farthest away from him. My eyes were glued on dad and they refused to turn towards any other way.

Dad sighed deeply, but for a long time he didn’t say anything and just fiddled with his phones, typing in important notes for important dates for important meetings with important people. I could feel myself growing impatient with every second we wasted.

“Dad, what exactly is this about?” I asked him all of sudden then. “I’m like really tired and I would just love to go bed already.”

”Don’t worry, Nicolette, it’ll only take a second. Just have patient and listen to what I have to say, and then you can sleep to your heart’s content, I promise you.”

I nodded once again and sighed deeply. I swear I almost heard Drew snickering from next to me, but I didn’t dare turn around and find out.

I tried clearing my mind as I waited and assure myself that whatever the problem was, I could get out of it. I mean, if it was possible for Avril to do it – the proof being in her songs – then why couldn’t I do the same?

"Now, Drew's been talking to me for a while today and he thinks that-" I readied myself for the impact, but it actually didn't come out as bad as I thought it would've. "-it's been a pretty long while since you two have had your engagement and you two should just get married already and move in with Drew. Now, it's not like I'm trying to get rid of you or anything, dear, because I mean, you two live right next door to each and you could always just come over whenever you felt like. It's just that you two seem to be really close and it would just be better if you got married before doing anything too..." dad paused, probably trying to find a good word for what he was trying to say. I was curious as to what that word could be as well. "Well, I guess, too intimate. Don't you think?"

“H-huh?” I questioned aloud, while in my head I was thinking, ‘Was dad really telling me that I should wait till I get married to Drew before having sex with him? Is this really what this was all about?’

I looked between my dad and Drew then for one of them to say something more or to just burst out laughing and just say that this was just a joke, but neither said nor did anything to make me think otherwise. All dad did was just sit back and watch me as I wondered helplessly what the hell was going on with me right now and Drew, well, he was just staring back at me with that stupid amused little look on his face like he was at the fuckin’ circus or something.

“So, what do you think?” dad asked me as I turned back to face him.

I just shrugged my shoulders since I couldn’t think of anything else to say and just looked down at my hands on my lap.

“Drew was also saying how we should think it over along with the date of the wedding over dinner at our house with his family and your aunt as well.” Dad added then.

“Well, I guess,” I agreed. “If you think that it’s right.”

I actually absolutely no idea how I felt about all of this right now. It was all just too overwhelming for one night.

“Alright then I guess it’s settled,” dad sighed and stood up, rubbing his hands together. “Tomorrow night for dinner everyone will come over and we’ll come to a final decision on all of this.”

“Well, um, can Pat come?” I accidentally blurted out then. “I mean, to the, uh, dinner?”

Dad turned around then and gave me a weird look.

”Well, why would Pat be there?” he asked me.

“Well, I-I mean, wouldn’t it be better if all of our friends were there with us, so they could get to know about the wedding date as well?” I stammered over my words.

“Oh yes, that would be a good idea. If they wish to come, tell them they’re welcome to come. Well, good night, you two, have fun…but-“ dad gave me what seemed to be a fun-looking stern expression. “-not too much fun!”

I groaned under my breath at the thought of what he was assuming.

“God, I’m such an idiot,” I muttered to myself then as I remembered what I had just said and how stupid I was to say something like that all of a sudden. “I really gotta be more careful with what I say next time.”

“You got that right, sweetheart.” I heard Drew comment from next to me.

I raised a single eyebrow at him and then just rolled my eyes. I didn’t bother responding back to him because it would just require him to reply back with an even cockier comment and then he would try to start something with me, like one of those Battles of the Sexes. And I really wasn’t in all that good of a mood right not to be wanting to have another argument with the guy.

I just wanted to get back up to my room, change fully into something else and like dad had said sleep to my heart’s content.

I was walking past him when Drew grabbed my hand back and pulled me in close to him. I could feel his lips brushing gently against my cheek and the side of my face – just like Pat done just minutes ago – as he whispered in my ear, “I can’t wait till our wedding night, honey, can you?’

I looked up at him with what was supposed to be a disgusted look on my face when all of sudden, my eyes became instantly mesmerized in his. I soon found myself all wrapped up in a tight embrace in Drew’s arms with my forehead pressed up against his.

I felt both a rush of nervousness and excitement as I began thinking of all those days we had spent together as just friends and nothing more. I liked it a lot better then, because at that point Drew and I may not have been as close like this, but what we did together still made my heart race and cheeks redden.

Back then Drew did know about any of my secrets or how my face looked, he had nothing against me and he knew me only as a best friend forever. But, now he knows me to be a lying and cheating little suicidal slut and that’s not who I am or who I want to be known as at all!

Before I could stop myself, I moved my head off of Drew’s shoulder and looked straight into his eyes and then planted a huge kiss on his lips. Drew obviously was waiting for this particular moment to happen all night and kissed me back with just as much enthusiasm as I was putting into it myself.

I didn’t mean to have been doing this but once I started, there was just no way that I could stop. I trailed a hand up Drew’s chest – over his shirt, mind you – and squeezed his shoulder tightly.

I felt a sudden cold feeling on my back and I realized that it was the tips of Drew’s fingers. His hand had reached up under shirt and was clutching onto all of the empty skin that he could.

‘Don’t do this,’ I begged silently in my mind. ‘Not here, not now, please!’

My eyes opened and turned soft in a pleading way, but Drew’s eyes were closed and he was too into the kiss to notice or possibly even care at all. I could feel myself getting weak in the knees and tears appearing in my eyes as I realized that Drew was never going to change. He was always going to be the same guy who was always going to be after the same thing as 90% of all guys in this world were after.

I braced myself then as I watched Drew as he brought his hands up and placed them around my face. Relief washed over me then as he did almost the exact opposite of what he thought he was. When his lips made contact with my forehead instead, I looked up at him surprise. It was as soon as we did though that Drew ended up smashing his lips up against mine – much like I had done before – and we were back in our little make-out session.

It wasn’t too long after that I started to feel myself falling for Drew all over again. As I wrapped my arms tighter and tighter around his hand and my fingers clutched his hair, I knew my heart wanted to forgive him so super badly.

But, it was also not too long before I could feel his fingers back under my shirt again and pulling away on the straps of my bra. I shuddered against his touch and snapped my eyes open. I moved away from his quick as I could only to have a guilty feeling settling over in my stomach.

I realized what I had just done and I hated myself for it. I had once again been foolish and let myself into believing Drew was a good person and turning completely vulnerable for him just so Drew could simply take advantage over me like he’s done before.

The horrible nights from my just as horrible past suddenly came rushing back into my mind making me feel just as bad. I remembered all those lonely days at school and nights at home without Drew as he spent his time enjoying himself in England with all his new classmates and friends. I remembered all those mean things people said behind my back and how all of that had led me into being like this. I remembered all of those mistakes I had made, I remembered all of those bad days I were forced to suffer all by myself along with past birthdays and anniversaries. I remembered all those terrifying nightmares that would cause me with repeatedly waking up in the middle of the night screaming my head off until my voice was sore and couldn’t go on any longer.

Without uttering another word, I stormed up the stairs and back into the safety haven of my own room. I felt perfectly safe there among my precious art and music. I suddenly felt myself growing sick as I tore off the sweatpants and looked around for a pair of my PJs. I could feel my stomach gurgling and I almost gagged as I bent down to pick up my pants and throw them somewhere else so I didn’t end up slipping over them when I got up in the morning.

'No, no, no, Nick, don't even THINK it,' I told myself. 'You haven’t eaten or drank anything gross that should be making you feel like this. You’ll be alright. Just relax.’

I rocked back and forth on my knees and tried inhaling and exhaling a few times to get my breathing back to normal and stop my stomach from acting like this.

I sat down fully on my butt and pulled my knees in close to my chest. I knew I was dangerously close to throwing up everything that I had eaten today with Pat – which was a lot, by the way. And that would only mean that I would be vomiting up and throwing away all of the precious memories that I had spent with Pat and I don’t think that would be a very nice way to end my night.

I knew what I had to do. I had to stop thinking about my past and just focus on my present and the future that I’ll have to share with Drew whether I liked it or wanted to or not.

The dinner thing was tomorrow night and that date of my wedding was going to be decided then. I knew I had to do something about that, because the date could be a whole lot sooner that I expected.

I gulped back my tears then and forced myself back up my feet. My mind was zooming through a lot of things now but the biggest thing happened to be Pat. I knew that I needed his help a lot on his now and that without him; I’d end up falling completely apart by the time I have to say my lines for the wedding.

Who knows I might even faint or drop dead before I even get the chance to say ‘I do.’ And then what?

I needed Pat. I needed him just as much as I needed Drew when he wasn’t there for me before.

And it was because of that I let him slip away from me and I just couldn’t let the same happen with Pat. He was different and he was special. Pat understood me, a whole lot better than Drew was doing right now. He was the only one who could get me out of this mess, if not him, then there was probably no one else who could.