Status: Song Fiction
Bleed
1/1
Sighing, I put my head between my legs to stop the dizziness. To remind myself that it isn’t just a dream. I was really about to do this. I picked up a smooth stone from the sand and gripped it so hard in my hand that my knuckles turned white. I threw it out into the lake and watched as it sunk into the bubbly water. “Two months is too long without you…I would die before I lived my whole life knowing I could’ve prevented your dying.” Tears welled up inside my grey eyes and spilled down my flushed cheeks. I ran a shaky hand through my hair. I couldn’t think of anyone but you since that day, so my hair had gone uncut. I laughed darkly and whispered hoarsely, “What the hell. What the hell.” Then louder…”What the hell?! Nothing matter anymore without you! I need you…” I spoke to nothing. My eyes closed slowly until I saw nothing.
I tickled her endlessly. She screeched, “Ah! Stop,” and giggled. We, me and my girlfriend, were lying on the lakeside behind my house looking at the stars and waiting for the celebratory fireworks. She must’ve been reading my mind, “Babe, I can’t wait till’ tonight!” I put my arm around her and smiled, fingering the small velvet box in my sweatshirt pocket. In California, we don’t get snow on New Year’s Eve, which is why fireworks on the lakeside are perfect. It’s also the night many men choose to propose to their lovers. I had decided to follow suit, and got her a very expensive ring with a silver band and a white and pink diamond. Our initials were engraved on the inside of the band. Shay was in a good mood and so was I. Smiling, I stood up and she looked at me, puzzled. I smiled bigger and got down on one knee. She started crying immediately. I cleared my throat. “Shay. I love you and you are my everything. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?” She was crying too much to reply, but she held out her left hand and I slid the beauty on her ring finger. She looked at it through choked tears…and tackled me in the sand, throwing her arms around my neck. Her lips pushed against mine and the first firework of the night exploded in the sky.
“Oh god, Shay.” I choked out and opened my eyes to the night. “You taught me how to love. Why did you have to leave me?” The question was left unanswered as my mind tumbled into another rabbit hole of memories.
Shay was lying in a bed. Machines beeped and plump nurses bustled in and out. Her forehead was hot and her skin was clammy as she struggled for breath. I hung onto her hand tightly, massaging the knuckles. She looked at me with rings of purple around her dark green eyes and coughed. I cried out softly, “Shh, Shayleigh, baby. Go back to sleep.” Two weeks had gone by since she was admitted into the ICU for a tumor found in her upper back. I had noticed before that she had had trouble sleeping for months since the day on the beach. She also limped a lot. Of course, until she fainted that day on the kitchen floor while making lasagna, I hadn’t taken her to any specialists. So when I carried her into the ER that day, of course I felt guilty for her pain.
Back in reality, Shay tried to scoot towards me at the edge of the rolling hospital bed. I pushed a strand of dark blonde hair that had lost its olden sheen since she had gotten sick. Shay opened her dry mouth and whispered, “Dimitri. Don’t leave me…” I kissed her feverish forehead and then her lips, “I might as well say the same to you, S-ShayBear.” I stuttered out her old nickname from when we were kids. She smiled weakly at the memory, “I don’t wanna leave you, baby. I want to get married. I want to raise a family with you.” She looked up, pausing. “But I think God’s calling me.” Her hand grabbed my wrist, “Don’t let go, Dimitri. Me dying does not mean you have to too.” I nodded and started sobbing, lying against her chest that was rising so slowly. Too slowly.
It was two months before our supposed wedding. She already had her dress for God’s sake! Oh my, thinking about it hurt too much, I decided. I directed my pleading to God, even though I hadn’t been to church in over ten years. Just let her live, oh lord. Oh God. Oh God. Please…Suddenly I felt her gasp In pain and strain against the pillows. Stricken with fear, I reached over and pressed the call button, while keeping my teary eyes on her colorless face. She breathed in choky breaths faster and spoke directly at me, not opening her eyes. “Oh god, Dimitri! Stay here with me! Please! I don’t want to die, Dimitri!” She pulled me in close and whispered a few words. I almost stopped breathing right there at her last plead. The beeping from the machine quickened.
We both started crying even harder. “I love you, Dimitri!” She sobbed and I nodded at her desperate last words. “I love you too, Shayleigh…” Nurses flooded the room and I collapsed on the cold, clean tiled floor in wrenching sobs. No one did anything. They just stepped over me to get to Shay. No. She’s not gone, Dimitri, I tried telling myself. But, it was too late. I couldn’t save her. My love, Shayleigh Michaels, was gone.
&&&
“For you, Shay. I love you. So much. This is all for you baby. I gripped my own hands and my face turned pale. I shivered, rubbing my arms and looked around the shore. Remembering the note I had left on the table, I laughed psychotically, probably crazy from the shock of the rain as it started to drizzle.
I’m only doing this for Shay. I’m so sorry to all you folks who thought I was actually coping with this pain. Shay, I’m bleeding for you. I feel so guilty for not loving you to the best of my ability until it was too late and you were dying. Well, baby, I’m dying here on Earth, cause’ it’s too much for me to deal with. I will always love you, and I’m bleeding my heart out just for you. By the way, everyone, Shay would’ve made a great mother. –Dimitri.
The waves licked my cold toes and I took my first steps. And when the water was splashing against my legs that were filled with goose bumps, I dove under the freezing water. Air bubbled out my mouth. I opened my fist, and let her ring float to the bottom of the deep lake. And then…I swear I heard a firework explode in the sky.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
SHAY.
I saw her face.
My vision blurred and I cried out letting more breath blow out. My head was about to explode from thoughts, and SHAY, and more thoughts, and lack of oxygen. I couldn’t see anything but black and white and red. I kicked and treaded and tried to fight my way up to the surface, but my legs failed me. I was out too deep in my own mistake. For Shay. I was drowning into this ice water and could almost feel my lips turning a dark shade of blue. I exploded with a watery voice, “Shay!!” Then I looked up at the night sky 20 feet above me and let myself fall to the bottom of this murky lake.
&&&
June sixth: Local Section from Dimitri’s Newspaper; Found taped up on his mother’s refrigerator.
Demetrius Graves lost his fiancée Shayleigh Michaels, a few months ago and just recently took his own life to “be with her,” as he states inn the suicide note, left on the couple’s kitchen table. No body has been found, but police officials are suspecting the lake behind his home. More information is to be followed on this subject. According to his note, he stated “Shay would’ve made a great mother,” Which urged us to perform an autopsy on Shayleigh. We did end up finding out she was impregnated, which makes matters worse on the friends and family. Officials think this is part of the reason Graves committed suicide. Also, a very beautiful ring was found sticking out in the sand. A cousin of Michaels’ states that yes, this was Shayleigh’s engagement ring from Dimitri. Families of both Graves’ and Michael’s are grieving and shaken from the close deaths of the lovers. Evanna Graves, Demetrius’ mother, quotes that a funeral service will be occurring soon.
“I just don’t even know what to say about this. It’s just so sudden,” says Penny Baker, a friend of both who was supposed to be Maid of Honor at their upcoming wedding on August seventeenth. Baker’s words are indeed true and both Dimitri and Shayleigh will be deeply missed.
I tickled her endlessly. She screeched, “Ah! Stop,” and giggled. We, me and my girlfriend, were lying on the lakeside behind my house looking at the stars and waiting for the celebratory fireworks. She must’ve been reading my mind, “Babe, I can’t wait till’ tonight!” I put my arm around her and smiled, fingering the small velvet box in my sweatshirt pocket. In California, we don’t get snow on New Year’s Eve, which is why fireworks on the lakeside are perfect. It’s also the night many men choose to propose to their lovers. I had decided to follow suit, and got her a very expensive ring with a silver band and a white and pink diamond. Our initials were engraved on the inside of the band. Shay was in a good mood and so was I. Smiling, I stood up and she looked at me, puzzled. I smiled bigger and got down on one knee. She started crying immediately. I cleared my throat. “Shay. I love you and you are my everything. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?” She was crying too much to reply, but she held out her left hand and I slid the beauty on her ring finger. She looked at it through choked tears…and tackled me in the sand, throwing her arms around my neck. Her lips pushed against mine and the first firework of the night exploded in the sky.
“Oh god, Shay.” I choked out and opened my eyes to the night. “You taught me how to love. Why did you have to leave me?” The question was left unanswered as my mind tumbled into another rabbit hole of memories.
Shay was lying in a bed. Machines beeped and plump nurses bustled in and out. Her forehead was hot and her skin was clammy as she struggled for breath. I hung onto her hand tightly, massaging the knuckles. She looked at me with rings of purple around her dark green eyes and coughed. I cried out softly, “Shh, Shayleigh, baby. Go back to sleep.” Two weeks had gone by since she was admitted into the ICU for a tumor found in her upper back. I had noticed before that she had had trouble sleeping for months since the day on the beach. She also limped a lot. Of course, until she fainted that day on the kitchen floor while making lasagna, I hadn’t taken her to any specialists. So when I carried her into the ER that day, of course I felt guilty for her pain.
Back in reality, Shay tried to scoot towards me at the edge of the rolling hospital bed. I pushed a strand of dark blonde hair that had lost its olden sheen since she had gotten sick. Shay opened her dry mouth and whispered, “Dimitri. Don’t leave me…” I kissed her feverish forehead and then her lips, “I might as well say the same to you, S-ShayBear.” I stuttered out her old nickname from when we were kids. She smiled weakly at the memory, “I don’t wanna leave you, baby. I want to get married. I want to raise a family with you.” She looked up, pausing. “But I think God’s calling me.” Her hand grabbed my wrist, “Don’t let go, Dimitri. Me dying does not mean you have to too.” I nodded and started sobbing, lying against her chest that was rising so slowly. Too slowly.
It was two months before our supposed wedding. She already had her dress for God’s sake! Oh my, thinking about it hurt too much, I decided. I directed my pleading to God, even though I hadn’t been to church in over ten years. Just let her live, oh lord. Oh God. Oh God. Please…Suddenly I felt her gasp In pain and strain against the pillows. Stricken with fear, I reached over and pressed the call button, while keeping my teary eyes on her colorless face. She breathed in choky breaths faster and spoke directly at me, not opening her eyes. “Oh god, Dimitri! Stay here with me! Please! I don’t want to die, Dimitri!” She pulled me in close and whispered a few words. I almost stopped breathing right there at her last plead. The beeping from the machine quickened.
We both started crying even harder. “I love you, Dimitri!” She sobbed and I nodded at her desperate last words. “I love you too, Shayleigh…” Nurses flooded the room and I collapsed on the cold, clean tiled floor in wrenching sobs. No one did anything. They just stepped over me to get to Shay. No. She’s not gone, Dimitri, I tried telling myself. But, it was too late. I couldn’t save her. My love, Shayleigh Michaels, was gone.
&&&
“For you, Shay. I love you. So much. This is all for you baby. I gripped my own hands and my face turned pale. I shivered, rubbing my arms and looked around the shore. Remembering the note I had left on the table, I laughed psychotically, probably crazy from the shock of the rain as it started to drizzle.
I’m only doing this for Shay. I’m so sorry to all you folks who thought I was actually coping with this pain. Shay, I’m bleeding for you. I feel so guilty for not loving you to the best of my ability until it was too late and you were dying. Well, baby, I’m dying here on Earth, cause’ it’s too much for me to deal with. I will always love you, and I’m bleeding my heart out just for you. By the way, everyone, Shay would’ve made a great mother. –Dimitri.
The waves licked my cold toes and I took my first steps. And when the water was splashing against my legs that were filled with goose bumps, I dove under the freezing water. Air bubbled out my mouth. I opened my fist, and let her ring float to the bottom of the deep lake. And then…I swear I heard a firework explode in the sky.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
Shay.
SHAY.
I saw her face.
My vision blurred and I cried out letting more breath blow out. My head was about to explode from thoughts, and SHAY, and more thoughts, and lack of oxygen. I couldn’t see anything but black and white and red. I kicked and treaded and tried to fight my way up to the surface, but my legs failed me. I was out too deep in my own mistake. For Shay. I was drowning into this ice water and could almost feel my lips turning a dark shade of blue. I exploded with a watery voice, “Shay!!” Then I looked up at the night sky 20 feet above me and let myself fall to the bottom of this murky lake.
&&&
June sixth: Local Section from Dimitri’s Newspaper; Found taped up on his mother’s refrigerator.
Demetrius Graves lost his fiancée Shayleigh Michaels, a few months ago and just recently took his own life to “be with her,” as he states inn the suicide note, left on the couple’s kitchen table. No body has been found, but police officials are suspecting the lake behind his home. More information is to be followed on this subject. According to his note, he stated “Shay would’ve made a great mother,” Which urged us to perform an autopsy on Shayleigh. We did end up finding out she was impregnated, which makes matters worse on the friends and family. Officials think this is part of the reason Graves committed suicide. Also, a very beautiful ring was found sticking out in the sand. A cousin of Michaels’ states that yes, this was Shayleigh’s engagement ring from Dimitri. Families of both Graves’ and Michael’s are grieving and shaken from the close deaths of the lovers. Evanna Graves, Demetrius’ mother, quotes that a funeral service will be occurring soon.
“I just don’t even know what to say about this. It’s just so sudden,” says Penny Baker, a friend of both who was supposed to be Maid of Honor at their upcoming wedding on August seventeenth. Baker’s words are indeed true and both Dimitri and Shayleigh will be deeply missed.
♠ ♠ ♠
Wow I was shaking and crying when I wrote this. Hope you like it! (: Comment, suscribe, add me.And the song (Bleed by Hot Chelle Rae) You really! Should! Listen! To! Lolz. Just saying. Thanks for reading! (: