Puddles of Despair

“I never thought goodbye meant forever. I said it every day and the very next day I saw the person I said it to. I had made the assumption that goodbye isn’t forever. Too bad my assumption has been proved so very wrong. Goodbye is forever. At least for us, it was. Ahlei was my best friend since we had been three years old. She was the only person who knew every little detail about me. I trusted her with my heart, my life and my heart she will forever have. She was my very first crush and love. I loved Ahlei with all of my heart. If only it was me who walked out before her. I would give anything to have her back. That night runs through my mind non-stop and every night I cry myself to sleep knowing I never got to tell her everything I wanted to. I remember when we used to play house in my tree house when we were little and uh, heh I remember always thinking she’d be the perfect girl. But now, because her life has been stolen, we will never know how perfect of a girl she could’ve been. I will never know if she could’ve ever been the one I call mine. We will never know… I… I’m sorry I can’t do this anymore. I love you Ahlei and rest in peace.” I had to get out of there. There was too much emotion and I felt like I couldn’t get a grip on anything. I ran out of the funeral home, down the street to my backyard and up to my tree house. There I cried the hardest I had ever cried in my entire life. She was gone. Really and truthfully gone. I can never call her and ask to hang out. I can never hug her or touch her ever again. I can never do anything involving her unless it’s visiting her grave. This was something I could feel I was going to do very often. My tears were beginning to soak my shirt and leave small scattered puddles. These puddles were of my pain and sorrow. Eventually my eyes were so dry from crying all I could do was close them and fall asleep. I had the same nightmare I’d had since Ahlei died.
…
We were all sitting at a mutual friends get together, talking and laughing. It was getting pretty late and I knew I had to get ready to head out; I just couldn’t push myself to leaving the fun and laughter.
“Well guys, I gotta get going or mom will ring my neck.”
Ahlei had gotten up so gracefully and gave everyone a hug me being the last.
“I’ll text you later on and we can go do something,” is what I remember her distinctively whispering in my ear.
“Okay. Talk to you later. Bye!”
If I would’ve known what was going to happen next I would’ve left before her or walked out with her or something to avoid what was getting ready to happen.