Things Have Changed For Me...

“Hey Sky.” I heard Spencer say to me as a I sat down in my goddamn seat I've sat sat in the whole school year.

Spencer Smith: one of my good friends; loveable; loving; drummer; good advice giver; quiet at times. He wasn't with Ryan, Brendon, Teressa, and I because he had a family thing to go to.

“Hola mi amigo.” I said happily at him.

He smiled and went back to reading. This was him, he was quiet in school but he was very loud sometimes. Those times were usually with us.

I sat down at the usual damn seat I sat at for the whole year so far. Ryan was in my homeroom, he was over my the window writing. I decided not to bother him, he gets into the weird zone when he is writing. In reality, I was happy for him, also Teressa. It's just weird though I mean, Ryan and I, we just sometimes clash a lot. I want to become better friends with him but we just have personalities that just are so much alike they clash.

I was startled out of my thoughts when I heard the bell ring. The rest of the morning went by in a flash. The next thing I knew I was eating lunch. Today felt different for some reason. I don't know what it was. I was in a good mood but today just felt odd, but in a good way.

I was eating my lunch when Brendon walked up to me and put his hands on my shoulders. I cringed and he smiled.

“Hey Sky.” he said casually.

“Hola mi amigo.” I said back to him.

He smiled. “So how has your day been so far?”

“Odd, but in a good way.”

“Same here.”

Ryan, Spencer, Teressa, soon joined us. I said hey to all of them. Today is a good day I though. A really good day. It's still peculiar but good.

I mean if all I had to do was get my father – no, my sperm donor - out of my life then I would of tried to make it happen a long time ago. I mean I need to forgive him eventually and I will do that. Just, now isn't the time. I felt useless when my father was around, I resorted to cutting. Hurting myself. I feel like I made a wrong choice back then when I did it. I have scars that will never be fully gone and I feel stupid. I do feel better now that my father is gone. I never told anyone about the cutting I hid it well. I also figured out how to act, to look like my life was fine. Teressa didn't even know, not even Brendon.

The thing about it is no one knew.

I wonder if they did and just never told me.

No. One of the would of said something.

The next thing I know Teressa screaming at the top of her lungs. “What the fucking hell! Motherfucking, dick sucking whore! Why are you such a damn faggot? You are a waste of time and you belong on a rhinoceros's cock! ”

What she said irrelevant but funny. I didn't know what was going on so I just felt awkward with everyone looking at us. I mean the whole cafeteria. Everybody, everyone, anything that breathed heard her. I think I even heard a dog bark outside.

She sat down and started laughing. Her laugh was that, I-just-cursed-out-loud-and-very-loud-shoot-me-now-before-I-die-of-embassasment.

I put my hand on her back while she kept on laughing. Ryan put his hand on her back too. I didn't really know what happened. She eventually calmed down and luckily no teacher was around to hear her having a cursing attack.

“Sorry.” she said, “I had to get my anger out by screaming and cursing so when I go home I don't have to yell at my little brother. I'm close to getting grounded already because of yesterday I cursed at my little brother. It wasn't that bad but my dad suggested I get my anger and cursing out before I come home.”

We were all quiet until Spencer spoke laughing, “Teressa, that was fine but next time you decide to blow up like that, I would laugh my ass off when you get caught.”

We all just laughed, she was a good actress and screamer. When she watches horror movies she complains about how the people don't scream good enough. It's quite humorous actually. She was just her and that was expected from her. Teressa was Teressa and you just can't change that.

I how I loved her. She was my best friend.

I realized that what she said was actually completely out of the blue and irrelevant to what they were all talking about.

Ryan turned to Teressa, “You do realize that you are never going to live this down.”

“Yes why yes I do.” she said.

“I agree with Ryan.” said Brendon, “I mean there was that time when Ryan was running in his basement being stupid and hit his head on a pole hanging from the ceiling, then stumbled backwards and tripped on a skateboard and ended up with a concussion, but you know, shit happens.”

I smiled and finished eating. Then the bell rang and I gave Brendon a hug and left. I know it's cheesy to give your boyfriend a hug before class but, hey, I'm a cheesy person.

My next class was art. Right now we were doing nothing. Well technically we were but we were now studying different artist and paintings. Currently studying: Mona Lisa.

I mean art is fun but I just want to do something else for now, not study paintings. I want to do something creative. Oh well, things will change.

~*~

I was in my car waiting for Teressa when Ryan surprisingly came over to my car and knocked on my window. I motioned my hand for him to come in and he did. I know she wouldn't be coming for about another ten minuets.

“I need to talk to you.” he said.

“Ok.” I replied, “About what?”

“Well I need you to come with me and Teressa out.”

“What?”

“Look I know I have dated other girls but I mean this is Teressa, I have known her for too long and I just need help. Double-date with me. Teressa and I, you and Brendon.” she said.

This is the Ryan Ross. My friend that I want to get to know more, so I will say yes. “Ok. I'll see if Brendon wants to.”

“Ok I mentioned it to him, just actually ask him when you see him.” he said.

“Ok, see ya.”

“Yupp, thanks for everything.” he replied. With that he got out of my car and walked away.

Teressa came over just as he was leaving. She got in my car and smiled.

“Were you talking to Ryan?” she said.

“Yeah is illegal for two friends to talk?” I said.

“No I was just wondering out of pure curiosity.”

“Ok.”

“Yeah, so how was your day?”

“Weird, odd, crazy, awkward, and great. How about you?”

“Actually my day was 'bout the same.” she said.

“The highlight of my day was your cursing fit.”

'Why thank you! I always want my spazz attacks to be the highlight of your day.”

“Oh Teressa your just you.” I said as I drove out to the main road to go home.